


Thramsay Chat Room

by goldandbeloved, nanjcsy, Tommyginger, WitchesBrew



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: All Forms Of GOT Characters In Chats, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Ramsay is his own warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:37:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 838
Words: 97,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5114495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldandbeloved/pseuds/goldandbeloved, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanjcsy/pseuds/nanjcsy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommyginger/pseuds/Tommyginger, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchesBrew/pseuds/WitchesBrew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>** IMPORTANT - PLEASE DON'T ADD TAGS: Due to the number of updates, this fic had come to dominate other ASOIAF feeds & understandably caused huge annoyance. We are only using a Thramsay tag now **</p><p>This is a collaborative improv from a collection of Thramsay authors. The setting is an Internet chat room; beyond that we have no idea what will happen ...</p><p>All Thramsters are hugely welcome to join us as co-authors - just let us know in the comments and we will add you. If you haven't written any Thramsay before but fancy trying your hand, feel totally free to join us - the whole idea is to experiment, so all kinds of voices, characterisations, plot developments, etc. are cool. </p><p>Notes for contributors: </p><p>1. Remember to include the (capitalised) thread title AND one-word character name in the chapter title;<br/>2. The idea is for it to read like a 'real' chat room so no need for plot summaries;<br/>3. Feel free to adopt multiple identities but only character-share if agreed in comments;<br/>4. To avoid it getting too complex for the readers, only start new threads if you're starting a new conversation (unless it helps to drive the plot obvs!);<br/>5. Trolls are super-welcome in the fic. Go wild.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Help Requested!! by Theon_96

I've never posted on here before but I'm pretty desperate and am hoping someone might be able to help? I've read a few of the threads on here but have been kind of lurking and scared to post. It is totally weird to post this here and now but I have no idea what else to do. After years of pretty much non-stop abuse my dad has kicked me out and I have no-where else to go. I have no money, nothing - just the clothes on my back, and my phone. Please, is there anyone out there who can help me? I Iive in the Winterfell area - if you can put me up just for one night that would be incredible.

Just to tell you about me, I'm 19 years old, a boy, white, really polite and super-happy to do jobs around the house or whatever you would need me to do.

I have no idea if anyone will respond but, if you do, just thank you so much.

Thanks for reading this.


	2. RE: Help Requested!! By SamT

dude i'm so sorry to hear that

i don't actually live in the area but will be travelling north over the next few days & could definitely stop by Winterfell if you're still in trouble. i don't have any money but i do have a van - ur welcome to sleep in the back for a few nights if that would help ?

my email is samwell_oh_well@gmail.com

would be glad to help


	3. Live In Assistant Needed by RamFlyr666

Looking for a single white male or female between ages 18 to 25 for a live in position.

Enjoy living in a luxury apartment with valet parking, swimming pool and more in exchange for housekeeping.

I don't need any references and I have no problem with drifters, just want company and my place clean.

Contact me at RamFlyr666@gmail.com.

 


	4. RE: Live in Assistant Needed by Theon_96

Dear RamFlyr666

I've just spotted your advert for a live-in assistant? Sir, I would be so totally interested in that position. I'm really courteous and with great inter-personal skills, I'm highly experienced in doing chores and anything else you'd need me to do. I've already emailed you but I just wanted to come on here to express my interest in the post.

Do you need me to send you a resume or something? I don't have access to a computer right now due to some difficult personal circumstances but maybe we could talk by phone or something if I'm of interest for the job?

Yours faithfully

Theon Greyjoy


	5. Suck My Cock, Bitches by JoffTroll10

whiny whiny bitches here that is all everyone of you should suck my big hairy root.

my daddy is richer than fucking donald trump and someday i will own all your asses!


	6. RE: Live In Assistant Needed by RamFlyr666

After speaking with you through email, I think you are exactly what I am looking for.

I have responded with an offer I hope you will find reasonable for salary and benefits. If you are sure you are truly interesting in filling this position, I will send someone to pick you up. If you are in such dire straits I would not want you trying to find a way to get here. It is a pretty desolate location as I have told you. It is a great apartment complex, but the closest city is an hour away.

My father owns the buildings here and we have our own small mall and grocery store. Mostly my father's employees fill the apartments. I have the penthouse of course, but I also act as landlord for him. He is rather famous, google him. Roose Bolton. You'll understand once you do that how I can afford to pay you so well. I look forward to meeting you, let me know if you want the ride.

Sincerely,

Ramsay Bolton

 


	7. RE: Live In Assistant Needed by Theon_96

Dear Mr Bolton

I just want to thank you very much for this incredible opportunity. I would be honoured to take up the position you have offered. I promise that I will not let you down, Sir.

I would be very grateful indeed for the provision of transport. Thank you very much indeed for that. Would it be possible to be picked up straight away? I have already handed in my notice at my other job and so am ready and eager to start. If you could email me the details or something of where to wait I would be most grateful.

Also, with respect to your father, I know of him very well and of the important work that he does. In fact I am having to pinch myself that soon I will be working for him and his family! This is pretty much the most incredibly opportunity I have ever been given and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I very much look forward to meeting you and to beginning my new life under your employment.

Yours faithfully

Theon Greyjoy


	8. RE: Suck My Cock, Bitches by KarlBestEver

JOFF YOU ARE A FUCKING RACIST NAZI!!

DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY UR DADDY MAKES I COULD MAKE YOU FUCKING WEEP LIKE A BABY GIRL YOU PUSSY!!!


	9. How Do I Fix A Raft? by Gendry420

So I am running away again and I got my stash, got my water, got my raft. Don't know where the fuck I am floating but my raft lost a piece of itself. So for my fans who were gonna follow this epic journey to freedom from my dad and his private school shit...unless any of you know how to repair a raft...not sure how much longer I will be adventuring. At least I will drown stoned?


	10. RE: Suck My Cock, Bitches by JoffTroll10

how the hell could you know if i am a racist? go fuck yourself, fagboy.

you ain't touching this lovely white meat of mine, homo.

 


	11. RE: Live In Assistant Needed by RamFlyr666

I am very pleased to hear that, Theon. My friend Damon has generously offered to pick you up. You can reach him at DanceForMe@hotmail.com and give him directions to you. He is also on this site, I believe.

I look forward to seeing you soon and welcoming you to Dreadfort Arms personally. I just know we will have a good relationship and I will be happy with your service. You sound like exactly the type of employee/roommate that I have been searching for.

Sir or even Ramsay is fine, Theon. My father is Mr. Bolton, makes me feel old!

Sincerely,

Ramsay Bolton


	12. How To Flay Lesson Idea by TheSkinnerDude

Alright, so since all my damned videos keep getting taken down as "Obscene or too graphic" I am gonna move them to a new address. In the meantime, I will give verbal lessons as wanted.

So I had a major find last night. Driving home from work and there is was right in the middle of the road. A honey badger and it was still in great condition. Soon as I finish the bear and its cub, I am going to start working on it. So until I can show more video on it, I will just describe how to flay the skins on my page.

Skinner Out.   


	13. Re: Help Requested!! By LoverBoy20

Theon I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I really want to help you! I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you the other day. I’ve tried to call you.

Will you please call or write me back? I’m worried and would like to help you. If you’re still mad at me, you can also reach Robb at CantWaitToBeKing@gmail.com

If you don’t want our help, at least let us know you’re ok.

\- Jon


	14. Don't Drink, Don't Smoke, What DO You Do? by LemonCake

Uhhhh.....hey there!  
I've never been on a site like this before, but I know my brothers use it so I thought, why not? WHY NOT start living a little? Why not make some new friends who might treat me as something more than a porcelain doll?  
I am sick to death of always being the good girl, the PERFECT girl, the one who always has to sit on all the uncle's laps every holiday. My little sister does whatever she wants, makes a fool of herself and our family on a daily basis and no one ever says A WORD. Well, no more Nice Girl for me -----I'm ready to start living. And anyone who doesn't like it....well....they can just go to heck. I mean...HELL. They can go to HELL. I'm on my SECOND wine cooler right now and Ibeing naughty feels SO good! I may even smoke a cigarette later. If that's not proof I am ready to walk on the dark side, I don't know what is.  
I am SO over little mama's boys who think they can treat me any way they want and get away with it. Stick a fork in me, I'm D-O-N-E. ( lookin' at YOU, you blonde asshole ) I'm ready for new friends and maybe even a REAL man who can make me feel like a real woman. 

Yours sincerely,

The Lemon Cake


	15. How To Nicely Ditch Your Ex For Good? by Drowned_God

Hi there, I'm wondering if anyone might have some advice? It's a really long story but basically my ex cheated on me and broke my heart & it has taken me a long time to get myself together but I'm finally over him. It's also kind of complicated because we grew up together and are almost like brothers, so it's all total weirdness to be honest. A real mess that I just want to move on from. But of course now I'm over him he's kind of into me again and is bothering me quite a lot. In fact, he's even tracked me down on this site. I have this amazing new job starting and am pretty keen not to mess up. So I need to nicely get him to back off. But I don't want to hurt his feelings, if poss? Any tips?


	16. Theon, I Need The Directions by DamonDanceForMe

Hi there Theon.

Ramsay asked me to come get you, but I am having some trouble with finding this address. You aren't easy to reach, are you? Could you tell me where I am going here, buddy? This doesn't seem like a great neighborhood.


	17. RE: Help Requested!! By Theon_96

Jon, thanks but no thanks, OK?

Look, I can't really speak on here. Or, not under this thread, OK?

Just know that I'm doing better than fine.


	18. RE: Suck My Cock, Bitches by JoffTroll10

Jon, you sad sack of shit. I am so glad that Theon is leaving. watching the two of you come on here with your pathetic fag rainbow unicorn fucking cyber-sexual Disney fantasy....then the two of you fight like a freaking soap opera...so bye bye with your faggoty love angst bullshit...have to pull up your big boy pants and be a man now, Jonny boy....good luck with your job, theon. you fucking faggot.


	19. RE:Don't Drink Or Smoke, What DO You Do by JoffTroll10

Hey there lemony goodness,

I would treat you right baby...buy you everything you ever wanted....

you wanna try being bad? message me, we can talk about it.


	20. Can't Buy Me Love by LemonCake

Err....Thanks? 

Actually, I'm not looking for some pretty face to BUY me things. I HAVE things. It's like Paul McCartney says ----money can't buy me love. I'm done with little boys and games. Well....maybe not games. I still like games. One of my uncles has taught me some GOOD ones. 

But yeah....I'm not looking for another little boy , so I'm guessing that pretty much leaves you out. Sorry. 

LC


	21. Hiring For The WInter by RooseTheMoose

My apartment complex will be hiring this winter. We are in need of a baker with at least two years experience. I wish to open a coffee shop and bakery for the clients living in the estate. I will be hiring baristas with at least two years experience as well. Our specialty is to be lemon-cakes and pumpkin rolls I have a special recipe for given to me by my own family.

If anyone is interested please contact me at RooseTheMoose@gmail.com

 

 


	22. Lemon Cakes Are My Specialty by LemonCake

Dear Mr. Moose,

I don't know anything about working at coffee shops......I've actually never had a real job. Well, unless you count my Uncle Benjen paying me to wash his car wearing the bikinis he buys me. OR sometimes my dad pays for me to massage his neck and shoulders when he's tense. And sometimes my Uncle Petyr gives me money for no real reason at all. But I do LOVE lemon cakes! I am dying to try your special recipe --- when will you be open for business?

Sincerely Yours,

Lemon Cakes


	23. RE: Lemon Cakes Are My Specialty by RooseTheMoose

My real name is Roose Bolton, my dear.

However, I love hunting Moose so I use that as my handle. As for your question, we are opening next month. I do truly hope you will come and try our lemon cakes! Also, while you are here we can always meet for a little interview. Perhaps you will find that you fit in perfectly here and can have your very first job?

I look forward to meeting you and hopefully hiring you. But I think I most look forward to seeing your face as you enjoy the best Lemon Cakes in the North!

Yours Truly,

Roose Bolton


	24. Hi Mr. Bolton! by LemonCake

Hi Mr. Bolton!

I'm not sure if you remember me, but my real name isn't The Lemon Cake. ( blush ) I'm Sansa.......Sansa Stark......Ned's little girl? I've served you drinks when you've stopped by the house to do business a few times, but you probably don't remember me.

Gosh, your business sounds exciting --- do you think I could REALLY get a real job? As I mentioned, I don't have any real work experience, but I am SUPER eager and ready to learn. My dad and all my uncles always say I take direction really, really well. And I LOVE to make people happy, so maybe serving them yummy treats would be just the job for me! 

At the very least, I'd love to come by one day after school to meet you and maybe try that special recipe of yours. I hope it's okay I'll still be in my school uniform. I know it makes me look like a baby, but I can assure you I'm ready to take on big girl challenges.

Let me know what you think.....I'm really looking forward to getting together! ( 5 emoji smiley faces with dancing hearts )

Yours,

The Lemon Cake

P.S. I like your nickname.....Roose-the-Goose. It's SUPER cute!


	25. RE: Can't Buy Me Love byJoffTroll10

you stuck up lemon flavored cunt. you could have had everything. i hope you meet some creep on tinder that kills your kittens, shoves lemon cakes up your snatch then gives you aids when he rapes you up the ass!


	26. Re: Help Requested!! By RamFly666

Hey there, Jon?

I can't help but notice that you are trying to get Theon some help which is admirable of you. I don't know if you saw in the posts, I have offered him a position which he has accepted. So he is good, you don't need to worry anymore. My friend Damon is already on his way to pick Theon up. He is going to be my Home Assistant and will have a room plus salary and benefits. So you can stop trying to save Theon. I already have.

Ramsay Bolton


	27. LoverBoy20, Can You Read This Please? by Theon_96

Jon, I'm hoping you can see this. I deleted your number so can't text, and it is super-awkward that my new boss can read everything you've written on the other thread.

Please, Jon, just go back to Robb, OK?

I'm trying to move on, please try to respect that? This is a real chance for a new life, a whole new me. 

Take care, Jon.

\- Theon


	28. Re: Help Requested!! By LoverBoy20

Theon, don’t reject me like this. Please give me a chance. Let’s meet and talk this through. I’ll talk to dad about letting you stay in our spare room.

You can’t just wander around on your own with no place to stay, there are some really sick bastards out there. 

Please call me, I promise I’ll make amends for my foolishness.

\- Jon


	29. You Are Disgusting by LemonCake

Dear JoffTroll10,

YOU are a perfect example of the kind of jerk I don't want in my life anymore. 

I would have you know I have already made a new friend on this site and MAY even be embarking on an exciting new career, so you can take you disgusting sentiments and get the HELL OUT OF MY LIFE! I'm sure that smirking whore from Highgarden will be MORE than happy to let you buy her things and knock her around. 

That's right....I know it's you, JOFFREY BARATHEON. And if you don't want me to tell everyone how my dog scared you so badly you peed your pants, I suggest you leave me the HELL ALONE. I can sing like a little bird and tell everyone all your dirtiest secrets if you don't back off. I swear, if it wasn't for your Uncle Jamie and how nice he always is to me, I would nail you to the cross right now!

I'm serious, Joff.......you keep messing with me and you may find THIS Lemon Cake is not so sweet anymore. 

NOT yours and NOT sincerely,

The Lemon Cake


	30. RE: Help Requested!! by Theon_96

Mr Bolton - Ramsay - I can only apologise for the awkward situation that has arisen here, and I just hope that this doesn't give you a very poor impression of me. I can assure you that I am fully committed to this new role, and I want to thank you again for such a wonderful opportunity. I look forward to pushing myself to the limit under your employment. 

I will wait to hear from your employee, Damon, about travel arrangements.

Yours faithfully (and with heartfelt apologies once again)

Theon Greyjoy


	31. RE: Hi, Mr. Bolton by Roose Bolton

Sansa Stark?

Oh my dear, it has been awhile since I have seen you! What a wonderful surprise to see you here! I am even more positive that you will find a position of gainful employment with us! You may stop by at anytime you wish, Sansa.

It does not matter if you wear your uniform, dear, I can't wait to see how much you have grown. Please feel free to visit me at any time. I will have my cook make lemon cakes that will melt you, Sansa dear.

Yours Truly,

Roose Bolton


	32. Re: Help Requested!! By RamFly666

That is fine,Theon. I completely understand all about failed relationships and complicated friendships. I eagerly await meeting you. Damon has contacted me and said he was having a small bit of trouble contacting you. He is in your general area now, I hope he is able to locate you soon.

Sincerely,

Ramsay Bolton


	33. RE: Help Requested!! by Theon_96

Mr Bolton - Ramsay - I do hope you don't mind me asking, but it has occurred to me that over email you mentioned the situation with my father? But I'm now a little bit confused as I had answered your advertisement over on another thread? I had forgotten this before and was thinking that you were responding for my call for help, but then I remember that I had answered your advert? I'm really sorry I'm just a little bit confused and a little anxious that maybe I haven't given you the very best impression of myself that I might have done?

Sir, I really hope that this will not impact significantly on my prospects? I'm so sorry again. All I can do is apologise for this mix-up, which I am certain is entirely my own fault.

Yours faithfully

Theon Greyjoy


	34. RE: Hi Mr Bolton! by LemonCake

Gosh, Mr. Bolton, I'm so flattered you remember me!

I guess I HAVE grown up a bit since the last time you were at the house. Uncle Petyr says I'm tall enough to be a fashion model now. He's always taking pictures of me, so maybe he's right.

I'm writing this on my phone when I'm supposed to be paying attention to my English Lit class. We're reading Lolita right now and it's really interesting, For some reason I can really identify with Mr. Humbert AND the girl....but I sorta feel bad for his wife. Have you ever read it?

I hope I'm not being too forward, but I thought if you were going to be working today and had the time, I might drop by after school. Uncle Benjie just bought me the CUTEST little sports car so I can drive to your place all on my own. I know having my own transportation to and from work will be important if you find a job for me and I want you to know I won't be depending on my parents to drop me off and pick me up everyday.

Let me know if this afternoon works for you ---- and could I get the exact address? I am HOPELESS with directions, but the nav system in my new car is GENIUS! I just put in all the right info and it gets me where I need to go!! LOL

Fingers crossed today works for you,

Sansa


	35. RE: Theon, I Need The Directions by DamonDanceForMe

HEY THEON! I really really need you to give me some directions here! I have been sitting in this parking lot for an hour now. If you want this job you have like twenty minutes to answer me or I am driving back without you.

Damon   


	36. RE: Help Requested!! By LoverBoy20

To Ramsay Bolton

I appreciate you trying to help my friend. I don't intend to sound ungrateful, but Theon is not in a situation now where he needs swimming pools and expensive cars. And certainly not in exchange for hard work.

He needs support and help from his friends and those who love him, so if you really want to help, you better help me get in touch with him.

\- Jon Snow.


	37. RE: LoverBoy20, Can You Read This Please? by LoverBoy20

Why are you doing this Theon?

I know you've had a hard time and that I haven't always been there for you, when you needed my help. But I have tried as best as I could. What about all the things we've had together? You're almost been part of our family. Why would you just give up everything for an unknown future with somebody you don't even know !?

I'm telling you, this is not the right way to tackle your problems Theon, it doesn't help to just run away. Please write me back and let us arrange a place to meet. I need to see you again.

\- Jon.


	38. RE: Help Requested!! By Gilly

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!!

Hi there, my name is Gilly and you don't know me but it is really important that you read this, Theon and other people as well. I am writing this not to scare anyone but because I could not forgive myself if something happened to someone when I could have stopped it.

My beautiful partner, Samwell Tarly, very sadly passed last year from a jogging-induced heart attack. Samwell left myself and our little baby boy and will be so very dearly missed. He was a true pure soul. However, six weeks ago it came to my attention that someone has been posing as my Sam, including on Facebook, and including on sites such as this.

The reason I am posting is that the guy (if it's a guy?) is extremely dangerous. I cannot be 100% certain that this is the same guy as 'SamT' but there are some striking similarities about the tone and content of the post that make me 99% sure that it is the same guy. I am actually going against the police the post this on here, but I simply could not forgive myself if another young man went missing and it was in my gift to prevent it. I have read the rest of this thread and can see that 'SamT' has not posted again. I know that the police have been getting close so it may be that he has simply gotten spooked. But **please do not contact this guy in any way and definitely do not meet up with him under any circumstances.**  As I say, I am 99% sure that it is the same guy who has been posing as my Sam on other sites, and he is extremely dangerous.

I am really sorry if this post causes any undue worry or concern - it is not my intention to frighten anybody, just that people are kept safe and understand the risks that are out there. Theon, I saw your other thread and it is just great that you have been able to find a new job - it is so heartening to know that there are such kind and generous folks out there, and it sounds like you have fallen on your feet. It can be a scary world, but the guy who has offered you a job sounds like a real gem and it gives me heart to know that there are others out there who are pure souls like my Sam.

I wish you the very best of luck.

All the best

Gilly


	39. RE: Help Requested!! by JeyneP00le

Theon, please DO NOT meet with Ramsay Bolton.

He's not what he seems.

He hurt me and he'll hurt you too.


	40. RE: Live In Assistant Needed by Theon_96

Dear Ramsay, I'm ever so sorry to disturb you again, it's just that I still haven't heard anything from your employee, Damon, about the pick-up? I will gladly wait here all night, but I'm anxious to give a good impression? I just didn't want you to think that I haven't turned up or anything - it's just that I'm still waiting for your employee, Damon, to get in touch. I'm wondering if maybe he hasn't got the right number or something? I keep on checking my phone and no calls. Anyway, I will just wait here for him and hope that he gets in touch soon.

Yours faithfully

Theon Greyjoy


	41. RE: LoverBoy20, Can You Read This Please? by Theon_96

Jon, look I'm really trying to be nice here, OK?

Look, I really didn't want to say this here, but I know everything, OK?

So, I'll say it again. Just go back to Robb. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'd prefer not to have to spell it out on here.

I wish you all the best, Jon. Truly.

But I have this really great opportunity to start afresh - to find out who I really am, I guess.

I really hope that you can understand and respect that.

Take care, Jon.

\- Theon


	42. RE: Hi Mr Bolton! by arya_underfoot

hey loser cake don't you think you should discuss it with dad first before you start making arrangements with a grown ass man on a public forum??? or maybe i'll tell him for you ;) (i told you i'd get you back for calling me horseface in front of gendry :DDDD)


	43. Horseface, Horse's Ass by LemonCake

Dear Arya Horseface,  
If the feedbag fits, you might as well wear it. Go ahead and tell Daddy anything you want. He always takes MY side anyway, AND you'll give me the perfect excuse to rat you out to him AND mom about that stoner, too-old-for-you, high school drop out GENDRY you've been sneaking around with.  
Daddy will ALWAYS take my side. He always says I'm his good girl, and now I will make him proud that I'm getting a job ---- all on my own. Mr. Bolton is an old friend and business colleague of Daddy's, so it's not like I'm hooking up with some rando rapist/axe murderer who's gonna chain me up in his basement.  
So, why don't you go back to eating your favorite foods ---- peanut butter and JELLY and JELLY beans. Cos' that's exactly what you are, you ugly little troll ---- JEALOUS! You're just jealous Daddy and the uncles all like me better and you're just jealous I'm getting a job. Why don't you go find your stoner boyfriend before the idiot ends up floating to Essos.

EAT MY CRUMBS, BITCH!

The Lemon Cake


	44. RE: Can You read This Please? by PrettyFlowers

Jon? Never thought I’d see you again, out of all the places it had to be here. I’ve been trying to contact you, I’m sure I tried every possible way there is to reach you. Maybe you never noticed … or maybe you never cared. I will leave that up to you. 

I see you’ve been visiting someone else, again? Good for you … But really, why didn’t I hear anything from you? Was it because you were too busy chasing after Theon like this? Who the hell even is this ‘Theon’ guy you keep talking to. Please don’t start about all the fabulous things you and him had together, save him that bullshit and stop ignoring me. 

I feel like you owe me an explanation, and soon. 

Loverboy20? Ha! How charming! 

\- Satin Flowers (Satan if you don’t respond right away!)


	45. RE: Horseface, Horse's Ass by arya_underfoot

dad literally only pretends to take your side because he knows you'll throw a tantrum like the brat you are if he doesn't. are you really too dumb to see that? and anyway do you REALLY think he'll take your side on this? EVERYONE knows roose bolton is one of the biggest creeps in town, ever hear the story about him and the leeches? ewww

AND I HOPE HE SEES THIS. i don't even care

and you leave gendry out of this. dad will come around on that issue once he realizes what a sensitive guy gendry really is. oh and by the way, are YOU of all people in a position to judge someone else's boyfriend after the JOFFREY situation? didn't think so.


	46. Hello, Sweetling   by TheMockingbird

Sweetling,

A little bird has told me you have been talking to someone about a job. At a coffee house? Precious girl, if it's money you need, all you have to do is ask. You know you Uncle Petyr will be more than happy to buy you anything you want.  
I'm not sure I like the idea of you serving lattes and cakes to riff-raff off the street, and I'm not sure your parents would want that, either. Why don't you come by my office after school today and we can talk more about this. If you are really determined to have an official "JOB", I'm sure I can find a position or two that would work for you here. AND you can give me a ride in that new car you've been telling me about. Knowing Benjen, it's something inexpensive and domestic. Maybe you might talk me into buying you something German if you're a very good girl. How does THAT sound?

See you soon,

Uncle Petyr


	47. RE: Live In Assistant Needed by RamFlyr666

Theon,

Damon has been waiting for quite awhile for you to contact him. He has contacted you several times, I think. Please check your messages again. He is waiting for you and is a little irritated since he has been in a less than pleasant area waiting for you. I am sending you in a text his location. At this point, you may wish to hurry and find him.

Ramsay Bolton


	48. RE: Can You read This Please? by LoverBoy20

To PrettyFlowers

I have no idea who you are, or why you would interfere in my personal matters. Who I talk to is none of your business, so would you be so kind and stay off this thread? I really don't have the time to talk to you right now, whoever you are, and I doubt that I own you an explanation of any kind.


	49. Re: Help Requested!! By RamFly666

Jeyne,

maybe you if you weren't such a gossip and liar, we could have worked out.

sorry you are still bitter and feel the need to spread your lies.

if it would help, I can come speak with you?

Ramsay


	50. RE: Horseface, Horse's Ass  by LemonCake

First of all, YES, I DO think Daddy will take my side. While you are sneaking around smoking and seeing that loser Gendry, I actually spend time at home. Daddy knows he can trust me ---- unlike SOME people.

As for Joffrey, that's a LOW blow. You know darn well that his dad ( the bio dad of your bastard boyfriend, btw ) is the one who fixed us up and I didn't have much say in the matter. It was a regrettable experience, but it's over now and I've put Joffrey behind me. And even though that relationship didn't work out, I made really good friends with his Uncle Jamie AND his Grandfather Tywin. THEY both think I'm beautiful and smart. Who thinks that about you? Oh, right.....NO ONE. In fact, if Gendry " Puff the Magic Dragon" Waters ever sobers up, he'll dump you so fast your ugly little head will spin.

Mr. Bolton is NOT a creep. He does business with Daddy, and Daddy wouldn't do business with anyone who is not a good, trustworthy person. And even if this DOESN"T work out, Uncle Petyr and Granddaddy Tywin have BOTH promised to hire me to work for them. So THERE!

You should worry about your own life.......like how you're still riding around on a scooter because no one will buy you a car OR give you a job.

LC


	51. RE: Help Requested!! by JeyneP00le

You stay away from me Ramsay, I mean it. If you come anywhere near me I'll call the police.

I'm done being your victim and I will not stand by and watch another person go through what I did at your hands. 

Theon, if you're reading this I just want you to know that I'd be willing to meet up and discuss this situation and explain fully why you should not go anywhere near Ramsay. Please believe me when I say that Ramsay is a manipulative and violent person and you should NOT go with Damon!!!


	52. Hi Uncle Petyr! by LemonCake

Hi Uncle Petyr!  
Gosh, I didn't know YOU used this site. I just started last night and I have already made a new friend and, as you know, possibly landed a job offer.

REALLY? You would REALLY give me a real job, with a desk and a phone and responsibilities and everything? Or will this be one of those things where you pay me just to sit on your lap while you work on your computer? NOT that I don't like that, but I want to feel really useful. I'm almost 18 now and it's time I took some responsibility for my future. I admit working in your office sounds nicer than working in a coffee shop, but I don't want to just have a "pretend" job, like when I pretend to be your bad daughter and you need to spank me. OR like when we sometimes pretend that you're an escaped prisoner and I'm the Warden's young daughter. 

I would LOVE to come by and see you this afternoon ( I'm wearing the La Perla you bought me last week ) but I already told Mr. Bolton I'd like to come by and interview with him about the coffee shop job. I haven't heard back from him, but if he says today doesn't work for him, I'll come by. If you're lucky, I MIGHT even bring you a lemon cake or two. ( wink )

Love ya, Uncle Petyr!

Your Sweetling

P.S. My new car ISN'T German ( frowny face ) but it IS a Lexus! Ha Ha --- Uncle Benjie fooled you, didn't he?


	53. RE: Horseface, Horse's Ass by arya_underfoot

oh my god, do i really have to spell it out for you?? tywin, roose, petyr, jaime...all of them only like you because you flutter your eyelashes at them and dress like a mini prostitute around them. GENDRY likes me for my personality and my mind and you have the nerve to say he's too old for me? i think all the lemon cakes have gone to your head. (by the way, i think you've put on a few pounds since you started eating them, dear sister) ;)

oh and JoffTroll10 I hope you're reading this...because i can pass on sansa's new phone number if you'd like?


	54. RE: LoverBoy20, Can You Read This Please? by LoverBoy20

Stop making this about my mistakes Theon! You know I’m sorry, and that I would never hurt you on purpose!

Right now, this situation is about YOU and your safety! A girl has just answered your first thread and is warning you against that guy, Ramsay, that you’ve agreed to work for! Apparently he has hurt her before! 

Theon,I beg you, stay away from this guy! I’m coming to find you and I’m bringing Robb.

I really hope you read this in time and listen to me for once. Stay whereever you are and do not go with anyone!

\- Jon


	55. RE: Horseface, Horse's Ass  by LemonCake

Arya Maudine Stark! You would not DARE give my new number to Joffrey! If you do, so help me, I will make sure mom finds that bag of weed AND the box of condoms you THINK you've hidden in your room. All it takes is ONE phone call, little sister, and your ass will be the ONLY kind of grass Gendry doesn't smoke.

I don't have to prove ANYTHING to you about what other people see in me. But for your information, Tywin thinks I have a "keen mind" and says I'm just like raw clay, waiting to be molded. Jamie is teaching me how to play tennis and skeet shoot -- would he do that if he thought I was just a pretty face? AND Stannis Baratheon himself has promised to teach me how to sail. HE says I have a lot to offer and "great potential". Uncle Petyr says I'm an "asset" to his office and Daddy says he couldn't do half the things he does if he didn't have me around to relieve his stress. AND, not that any of this is your business, but I haven't even SEEN Mr. Bolton since I was 16 --- you can't say he's offering me a job because I "flutter my lashes" at him. Really, Horseface, you just sound desperate at this point.

Switching subjects from your pathological --- if completely understandable--- jealousy of me, what IS going on with Gendry? Some kids at school were talking about watching his youtube channel and something about an escape? That doesn't sound very good, Arya. Have you even talked to him? AND, speaking of people we should worry about, don't look now, but your fave bastard half-brother seems to be having some kind of meltdown over that pathetic meat puppet Theon Greyjoy. You might want to get the 411 on THAT and keep your long, horsey face out of MY business.

Later,

LC


	56. Warning, by LoverBoy20

Ramsay

This is your first and only warning. You don’t go anywhere near my friend, Theon. No matter how much you want to help or what you can offer him, you’re definitely not the right person to help him out of his crisis. A girl, Jeyne, has been warning against you, and I’m not the one to decide whether her statements are true or false, but I’m not taking the chance.

Call off your agreement with Theon right now and stay away from him.

\- Jon Snow.


	57. For Sale::Large Kennel / Crate by BadBones

48" L X 36" W X 27" H

Holds up to 100 lbs.

Two doors, folds flat. One door opens at one end and another on the side. Makes this one flexible as to where you can put it. Great for apartment living. Very sturdy material. Some oxidation visible.

-Wire dog kennels provide strong, secure containment while giving both you and your pet greater visibility of each other.  
-Ideal tool for house training puppies and new dogs.  
-Sturdy wire construction for safety.  
-Leak-proof removable pan slides out for easy cleaning.

  
I also have~  
Crate Beds $15ea

Dog collars XXL $5ea

Dog muzzles XXL $10ea

Food and water dishes $5ea

 

Recently lost both my beloved dogs and am selling for $95. Cash only.  
If this ad is posted, it’s for sale.

For pictures, email badbones@hotmail.com  



	58. RE: Horseface, Horse's Ass by arya_underfoot

first of all, gendry is undertaking a spiritual journey to find himself and we're going to continue where we left off once he gets back so i don't know why people are freaking out over it, it's none of THEIR business OR yours. he IS coming back, he told me so himself, but he's a free spirit and can't stay in one place for too long and i fully support him in that. not that you'd ever understand anything about his type of lifestyle, you're way too uptight.   
secondly, you know jon has a big heart and is obviously concerned about theon's safety...and who can blame him when theon always gets himself into trouble one way or another. HEY THEON, if you're reading this...surely even you're not dumb enough to go meet a random stranger when there's a girl on here saying that he hurt her, right? does that not set alarm bells ringing in your head, dumbass? ugh

and sansa - okay, okay i won't give your number to joffrey...yet.


	59. Ramsay, Can You Hear Me? by lil_Wald

Ramsay! Bro! Brotato chip! Broseph Stalin! Osama Bro Laden! Ayatollah Bromini!

We used to be like milk and Orebros... Bromeo and dudeliet...

Sorry I went AWOL, Broman Polanski! I was sent to live at my bitchass stepmothers. fucking lame. Dad left her already so I'M BACK IN TOWN!

I can brotally be you're live in assistant! I know where you live _and_ I can come bro-ver any time! Like now. Seriously. _Right now_.

Or whatever. What's with the electric fence btw? When did that happen?

Completely unrelated; does your dad still have that Dr. Qtip or whatever on retainer, and could he just, like, check out my heart or whatever, nbd. 

_Please call me._

-w


	60. Get A Grip, Jon! by LemonCake

Jon,  
I don't know what you think you're doing, but you're making a complete ass of yourself posting all these crazy messages. As if your very EXISTENCE isn't enough of an embarrassment to our entire family, now you are online ranting at strangers and making threats? Have you sniffed too much model airplane glue, or what?

Seriously, Theon Greyjoy is a total waste of blood pumping thru veins. WHY you even want anything to do with him makes NO sense to me. He's not even cute, he has no money, and his family is a bunch of violent psychos who have kicked him out of the trailer they live in.

You need to get a grip, talk to Daddy, settle down and get a job. You're 21 years old now, Jon. You SHOULD be almost finished with college. Instead you have some menial job I don't even REMEMBER. If you won't do these things for yourself and your own future, at least think about Daddy. He has taken a lot of heat over the years because of you and now you just add to the worry and stress he's under. I should know....I spend HOURS every week giving him hot oil massages to try and take his mind off of business, mother's drinking, the likelihood that Arya will end up a homeless, pregnant, drug addict, and that YOU are going to end up living at home for the rest of your life.

Time to get serious about life, Jon, and stop this obsession with someone who doesn't want you. You're beginning to remind me of Joffrey.....and that is NOT a good thing.

Later,

Sansa


	61. RE: For Sale by LemonCake

Dear Badbones,  
I saw your add and might be interested in the two XXL collars and muzzles ----would you consider selling them separately and, if so, how much are you asking?  
Also....you wouldn't happen to have any really thick leashes, would you?

 

Hope you're having a great day!

The Lemon Cake


	62. Re: For Sale by BadBones

Lemon Cake,

Thanks for contacting. I'll sell you the collars and muzzles separately if you're willing to pick them up. And yes, I have leashes too. These bad boys were meant for Mastiffs. Not sure what sort of dog you have, but they should be thick enough to handle anything. 

I'll give you one of each for $20 altogether. Fair?

BadBones


	63. RE: For Sale by LemonCake

Hi Badbones!

That sounds like a deal. Mastiffs, huh? I suppose that should work. My ...puppies....can be a bit rambunctious at times and I like to maintain control. Don't you find that's really the key to establishing a proper master/pet relationship? Control?

Anyway, do you know where Roose Bolton's offices are? I'm waiting to hear from him about a visit that could take place as early as this afternoon. When I know more about the specifics, I can let you know and you can meet me there for the exchange. I'll even buy you a cup of coffee and a lemon cake for your trouble.  
Sound like a plan? Let me know, and I'll be in touch with the exact time/location. If I'm not up that way this afternoon, I'm sure I will be in the next couple of days, or I can send one of our family retainers to your home.

Take care!

The Lemon Cake


	64. Re: For Sale by BadBones

Lemon Cake,

 

Some people say consistency’s the best way to train a pet, but I’ve been keeping dogs for many, many years and I can tell you... The secret is carrots and sticks (kindness and discipline) but never in even intervals. Keep ‘em guessing which they’re gonna get. Keep ‘em on their toes and they’ll love you forever. Just some advice from an old dog expert.

 

BadBones


	65. Sansa, Read This by CantWaitToBeKing

Sis,

I do hope for your sake that it’s not true what I hear.

First of all, no Stark should ever work at a coffee shop. And for the Bolton’s, what are you thinking? Honestly don’t you think I have enough to do helping out Dad at work? I have already been disturbed by Jon, currently running around like a headless chicken because of Theon’s disappearance.

I really don’t have time to continue babysitting all of you. You are adult enough to make a proper decision - and it is NOT to accept a job at a random coffee shop! You know there’s a job for you in Dad's company when you are sufficiently mature for it, better use your time focusing on the studies that will help you to it.

We need to speak to Dad about this, so you better come straight home after school today.

Robb


	66. Can I Get Out of a Signed Employment Contract? by WorriedSquid

Hi there, I am writing to ask for some advice, particularly for any lawyers out there specialising in employment law? I have recently started a new job (actually, less than 5 hours ago) and I have realised that I am not going to be the best fit for the role. However, I have already signed the contract of employment, which does not stipulate the length of notice I should give when offering my resignation. I'm really quite anxious about this as I am clearly not the right person for this job.

Would anyone be able to advise?


	67. SamT, Any Chance You Could Read This? by WorriedSquid

Dear SamT

I'm really sorry to contact you under another handle but recently reached out to me on this very site when I asked for help. I have emailed you but have not received a response, and so in desperation I am giving this a try.

You mentioned that you were travelling up North in your van and would be able to pick someone up from/near Winterfell? Is this something you would still be willing to do? I will email you again and just hope that you get to read this.

Thanks so much in advance in you're able to help.


	68. Which Streaming Service? By TinyTargaryen

Anyone who knows where to stream How To Train Your Dragon in full HD?

~ Ta

_"If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon..."_


	69. RE: SamT, Any Chance You Could Read This? by Yellow_and_Proud

SamT is unavailable right now, but he is a personal friend. I will pass on your message to him.

I know SamT well and I am certain that he can help you out.


	70. Home DIY Tattoo Removal? by WorriedSquid

Hi there, I've just been reading about ways to remove a permanent tattoo and apparently you can use salt to do this? It's freshly applied, but definitely isn't to my liking. I don't have any money so can't pay for it to be professionally done, but I can definitely afford salt? But I obviously don't want to do more harm than good, and I'm imagining that salt might be pretty painful? The tattoo itself is pretty big, but consists just of four letters so hopefully not too tricky to remove. Thanks so much in advance if anyone can advise.


	71. RE: SamT, Any Chance You Could Read This? by WorriedSquid

Dear Yellow_and_Proud

Thank you, Sir. From the bottom of my heart. I'm a rather sticky situation right now and so the promise of help is hugely gratefully received.

I will wait to hear from SamT. My email address is Time_To_Get_Kraken@gmail.com

Thank you!!


	72. Re: Home DIY Tattoo Removal? by PirateForHire

Drinking binge? Been there.

Two word for you, kid: Cheese. Grater.


	73. Skinning Stags by tywintylose

Oh, noble stag  
With antlers shorn  
I adore thee  
From whence was born  
Oh, noble stag  
With potent seed  
I adore thee  
And so thou lead  
Into the exquisite  
Moments still  
Oh, noble stag  
A loss to kill  
And then I shudder  
Into your hide  
Oh, noble stag  
My silent bride


	74. RE: Home DIY Tattoo Removal? by WorriedSquid

Dear PirateForHire

Thanks so much for your advice and for sharing your story with me. Actually alcohol would have been great at the time, it was pretty painful. ; -) My worry is that it's not so much a tattoo as there wasn't any actual ink? I'm not sure how to remove it now? But a cheese grater is probably not the kind of route I want to go down. Thanks so much again for the suggestion, though!!


	75. Message For RamFlyer666 by Yellow_and_Proud

The squid's been spilling ink. Check out threads on here. Want me to sort?


	76. RE: Which Streaming Service? By Prof_Drago

Dear TinyTargaryen (if I may)

It is with such pleasure that I read your short plea for information about that truly outstanding visual treat, 'How to Train Your Dragon HD'. Simply put, I am an enormous fan of that movie, and it is so wonderful to discover another HTTYD afficionado on here!! I would be most interested in furthering this discussion with you, whether on here or in another setting, and wish you the very best of luck in locating the best streaming service. (I am afraid I cannot help with that as I am rather 'old school' when it comes to technology).

Yours,

Professor Khal Drago


	77. How DARE You, Robb!!!  by LemonCake

Robb,

I don't know WHERE you get off trying to lecture ME about responsibilities and behavior ----- you are seriously deluding yourself if you think I don't know what's been going on between you and Jon and the role you're playing in this whole mess with that Greyjoy trash. YOU worrying about ANYONE'S conduct is laughable, you bloated, egotistical, maggot! Even ARYA is smarter than you, which is saying something.

And you are a HUGE hypocrite to bring up Daddy to ME ----- WHO do you think spends every evening with Daddy helping him in his study while you play whatever sick games you and our bastard half-brother dream up??? ME, that's who! I am Daddy's good girl and ONLY loyal child.....so BACK OFF!!!!

You don't tell ME what to do, you don't tell ME who to be friends with or where to work, GOT IT? You are dumber than a box of HAIR and I am about to get saltier than Lott's wife on your ass if you say one more word to me. If you want to play "king" to someone, why not try dragging the vodka bottle away from mom once in a while? Or stopping Arya before she and Gendry start a hydroponic pot farm in the basement? OR stopping your gay, incestuous lover JON from running around threatening potentially dangerous strangers in chat rooms?? Those are just a FEW of the things you can start with before you DARE say a word to me.

Daddy trusts me. Uncle Petyr, Tywin Lannister, AND Stannis Baratheon have all offered me jobs working for their companies and they are all gazillionaires so it seems I am doing something right with MY life. Yeah, maybe working in a coffee shop isn't the most glamorous job in the world, but maybe I am more interested in making friends with Mr. Bolton ---- did THAT ever cross your pea-sized brain? I have always enjoyed his company when he's visited Daddy and think he might be able to offer me valuable insight about things. 

So, just in case I have failed to make myself clear ---- check yourself before your WRECK yourself, brother of mine. Or you're about to get a taste of just how SOUR this Lemon Cake can be!

LC


	78. RE: Which Streaming Service? By TinyTargaryen

Dear Professor

I appreciate your kind response to my question. As my brother just had me grounded, I was in fact just looking for a way to make time go by, and HTTYD surely makes time pass faster for me. I've always felt af rather strong connection to anything dragonish. :)

However, my brother made me aware that it might be rewarding for me to get in touch with you - apparently he is familiar with you, from university. Maybe you know him? His name is Viserys Targaryen, he is quite clever but also has a big mouth sometimes.

~ Ta

_"If you can't stand the heat, don't tickle the dragon..."_


	79. RE: Help Requested!! by Theon_96

So sorry, guys - I haven't been following this thread as I thought I'd gotten the help I'd requested and so didn't think to check on here.

JeynePoole I am really sorry I just am not in a position to respond to your message for reasons that I'm sure you can appreciate.

I just want to publicly reassure everyone in case there is any ambiguity that I really am super-happy in my new job - it is offering me just the most unique opportunity to stretch myself and I am just so lucky to have been given the job.

As I need to devote myself entirely to this new position, I'm kind of going to go offline now. Thanks so much to you all for your help and concern.

Yours faithfully

Theon Greyjoy

PS Gilly I am so sorry to hear about your Sam. That is actually really helpful for me to know and I will definitely stay clear of this 'SamT' character.


	80. JeynePoole, Read This Please?? by WorriedSquid

Dear JeynePoole, you have recently been in contact with me but I was using a different handle and so this post may cause some confusion, I am so sorry if that is the case. But following on from our recent correspondence, I urgently need your advice on an issue that is causing me a very great deal of anxiety that I think you might have also experienced and can advise on? Can you please email me?? It is Time_To_Get_Kraken@gmail.com

Thank you so much in advance if you can help!!


	81. RE: How DARE You, Robb!!! by CantWaitToBeKing

Enough! What’s gotten into you?  
I’m sick of your constant whining and infantile behaviour, and how you continually desecrate the family name with your attention seeking ideas!

And how dare you talk about Mom like that? Maybe if her elder daughter would once in a while show some sense of responsibility, behave appropriately and make a good example for the Stark ladies, she wouldn’t need her occasional drink!

Also I don’t know whatever sick story you’ve made up about Jon. He is your brother! He is my brother and the same goes for Theon! If you just grew up, took responsibily and realized the favorable position you’re so lucky to have been born into, you wouldn’t have to make up such grotesque stories to get attention!

You better apologize to Mr. Bolton and decline his offer at once sister, or I will have Dad ground you. Also, you will stop behaving like this online for anyone to see, or I will cut you off from the Internet at home. I’m sure Arya would appreciate getting your computer. 

Robb


	82. RE: How DARE You, Robb!!!   by LemonCake

Oh, Robb,

I just have to thank you for giving me the best laugh I've had all day. The idea of YOU taking anything away from ME under Daddy's roof is just hysterical! I don't know when you decided you are in charge of anything other than your own ridiculous self, but it's highly amusing. You really ARE the biggest joke in Westeros. Can't wait to be king, indeed. But king of WHAT, brother dear? Hmmmmm?

Please, you can stop clutching your pearls ( and knowing you, you probably really do have a strand or two tucked under your shirt as you read this ) and pretending that the entire world doesn't know about the sick and twisted relationship you're having with Jon......and how Theon caught wind of it and THAT is why he left. It's all over the internet and every bathroom wall from Dorne to the Wall, so you can stop trying to play innocent with ME. You are SUCH a joke!

And the idea you now want to call THEON GREYJOY your brother, too, well......that's just the creamy frosting on the kinky cake, isn't it? Is THAT your kink, Robby? You LIKE to keep it in the family? LOL I think I have your number now.

Listen to me, you overstuffed bag of homo-erotic sweat and repression, you do NOT want to go to war with me, Big Brother. I have learned from the BEST and it would be like slaughtering you in the middle of a family wedding. I have TEXTS, Robb. Pictures, too. And before you even think to threaten me, they are some place very, very safe where the likes of YOU will never be able to get your grubby paws on them.

So for the last time, leave your Sweet Sister alone. You have plenty enough to worry about, what with your secret, homosexual affairs with our half-brother and Theon and all the other unsavory things you THINK you've kept secret. Hint -- I know about "the box", Robb. And "the golden tooth". And if you don't want the entirety of Westeros to know the same, you will stop with these ridiculous and childish attempts at bullying me right now. If you can't run with the big wolves, Robby......best stay on the porch. And trust me.....you are no "big" wolf in ANY sense of the word. Remember --- I've seen the photographic evidence. LOL LOL LOL

As someone VERY close to me once said, any man who has to call himself "King" is NO king.

Sansa


	83. Help Me Find My Brother??? by AshaGreyjoy123

Okay I'm getting a little bit worried about my brother, Theon. He left home after a family dispute and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I can see he's been on this forum talking about a job offer but he hasn't contacted me at all about it which is quite unusual - usually we keep in touch despite problems at home which I'm not going to get into here.

I've been calling his cellphone and getting no reply and it's starting to freak me out a bit so if anyone could help me contact him, that'd be great thanks! Or if his new boss could contact me and let me know he's okay that would be great too.

Theon, if you see this I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'm desperate to know if you're okay. I've moved out of dad's house and into an apartment with Qarl and you're more than welcome to crash on our sofa for as long as you need. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but you're still my brother and I want you to be safe. 

Asha xxx


	84. RE: JeynePoole, Read This Please?? by JeyneP00le

So glad to hear from you!! I've emailed you now explaining my previous situation, if it sounds anything like your current circumstances then you should contact me immediately and I'll do what I can to help. All I will say here for now is stay strong, you're not alone and I'm here for you.

Jeyne


	85. RE: JeynePoole, Read This Please?? by RamFly666

Jeyne,

you should mind your own troubles and stay out of other folks' relationships. Theon is fitting in perfectly here and is doing quite well. stop trying to fill his head with your lies. do you remember how much you enjoyed hunting with me? if it's jealousy love, then we can go hunting again if you'd like? We should talk soon.

Ramsay Bolton


	86. RE: Message For RamFlyer666 by RamFlyer

Sort it out for me. Thanks, buddy.

Bring me my little runner, please.


	87. For Sale::Large Kennel / Crate by RamFlyr666

Ben,

I would like to purchase the cage from you.

Ramsay Bolton


	88. RE: Home DIY Tattoo Removal? by RamFlyr666

Why would you want to remove that lovely work of art, Theon?

I know it is you, of course. I am glad that working for me proves to others that you still can have time to chat with friends, even if your chatter is about removing something given to you.

We can talk about it off line. In person. Up close.

I am also concerned about your recent correspondence with Jeyne. Do you think it is appropriate to gossip with my ex girlfriend about me?

Ramsay

 


	89. Message for Theon by JeyneP00le

I'm sorry. I can't help you. I shouldn't have gotten involved.

Please don't contact me again. 

I lied about Ramsay hurting me, he would never do anything like that. 

Please tell Ramsay I won't cause any more trouble and that he doesn't need to send his friends to talk to me anymore.

Jeyne


	90. RE: Home DIY Tattoo Removal? by WorriedSquid

RamFly666 I am really sorry but I have no idea what you mean, I do not know this Theon Greyjoy guy and, whoever and wherever he is, I'm sure he's just really very sorry for any trouble he might have caused.

I wish you the very best of luck for the future.


	91. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by DrownedGod

Dear Asha, let's just say I know your brother very well and he is in some seriously big trouble right now. He says his phone is running out of battery but if I text you his location straight away can you get to him?? He also told me to emphasise that he does not want to cause any trouble to his former employer and just really doesn't want any kind of scene or anything like that, so please stay cool ok?


	92. Careful, Sweetling!  by TheMockingbird

Careful, Sweetling.......remember what Uncle Petyr always tells you. CLEAN HANDS, Sansa. CLEAN HANDS.

That said, I am very proud of you. Such a good girl deserves a reward.

I'll see you soon,

Uncle Petyr


	93. RE: How DARE You, Robb!!! by CantWaitToBeKing

I won’t degrade to your level and discuss these matters in a childish way like this. We’ll talk about it at home. 

Until then, Sis  
Robb


	94. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by AshaGreyjoy123

Theon, is that you???? What the hell is going on? I just got your location on my phone and I'm on my way. I know you said not to cause a scene but I'm bringing Victarion and Euron for back-up. There's some seriously weird shit going on here, that girl Jeyne's messages are really making me freak out.  
I don't trust this Ramsay guy one little bit and if he's hurt you I swear to the Drowned God himself that we'll make him pay. We're all so worried and just want you home, Theon. Well, I do - Vic and Euron just want a fight, you know how they are. 

Asha xxx


	95. RE: Help Me Find My Brother   by LemonCake

OMG!  
You know Eurie and Vic? Tell them the "Red Wolf" says "hi' and they should give me a call. I just bought a few things I think they'll really like.

Sincerely,

Lemon Cake


	96. RE: Help Me Find My Brother by DrownedGod

Dear Asha, Theon has now asked me to inform you that he no longer needs your assistance, as he has already received such assistance from elsewhere.

He's keen for me to emphasise that he will be very busy from now on in his new role, so please do not concern yourself if you fail to hear from him again for some time.

Thank you all the same for your help.


	97. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by AshaGreyjoy123

Who the hell is this????? I'll back off as soon as I hear Theon HIMSELF on the phone, telling me he's okay.  
I don't even know who you are, so why should I take your word for it?


	98. RE: Can You read This Please? by Theon_96

John I don't know how else to put this but I've been advised that the simplest way to get you to listen is simply to say fuck off.

New line leave me alone

Ffion

PS I'm sorry for spelling both our names wrong is because using dictate app on phone due to issues typing.


	99. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by Theon_96

Asher I can assure you it is me, see you on delete that Theo delete that Dion

Asher it is me sorry for the above and for spelling your name wrong having to use a dictation app on my phone. It doesn't even recognise my name I kind of know the feeling right now but I am totally fine and please just go home and let me focus on my new job


	100. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by AshaGreyjoy123

Okay, okay if you're sure... I'm turning around. Maybe I over-reacted just a little? Vic and Euron are fuckin PISSED that you got them all fired up over nothing. You sure get yourself into the weirdest situations, little brother - do I even want to know why you're using a dictation app?? 

Anyway, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt just this once, but if you need any help in the future, just call me okay??

Asha xxx


	101. Urgent! For Asha Greyjoy, by LoverBoy20

To Asha

You know where Theon is?? I’m out looking for him, but haven’t got any clues to search by. I’m terrribly worried for him and afraid of what that guy, Ramsay, might have done to him! I need to talk to him and get him back home. Please share whatever information you’ve got about him and his location!

\- Jon Snow


	102. [Blocked content]

_The content of this post has been blocked for your safety._

_If you believe that this content may have been blocked in error, please contact the Site Administrators here._


	103. WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by RosXXX

STUNNING RED-HEAD, SIZE 10 FIGURE, 32FF, ANAL PLAY, PENETRATION, HAND RELIEF, MASSAGE, SPANKING, STRIPTEASE, OUTCALLS ONLY

Contact RosXXX@yahoo.com for rates & availability

No timewasters please


	104. RE: Can You Read This Please? by LoverBoy20

Theon please don’t do this to me! I love you so much, I won’t lose you!! I regret anything I’ve done, I’ll make up for it, I promise! Also, you’re clearly not well! Please let me help you! Ramsay doesn't need to know!

Call me at: 555-8411, or write me your location, I’ll come get you immediately!

\- Jon


	105. Pathetic Much?  by LemonCake

Jon,

This has really gone too far. You are making a complete and total ASS of yourself. You have managed to make ROBB seem half-way intellingent, and trust me, that ain't easy.

Threatening people you know nothing about? And now giving out your PHONE NUMBER on the internet where any perv who comes along can see it?

Oh, well. I guess one way or the other I'll still see you at the family breakfast table.......either in your chair or on the back of a carton of milk.

And for what? A skinny. scabby, twitchy, little weirdo like Theon? At least let me fix you up with Margaery's brother Loras. He's rich and gorgeous and is just coming off of a bad break up with Renly Baratheon. Though, he'd DEFINITELY be downgrading with YOU. Maybe you can just be each other's rebounds. ANYTHING is better than THIS foolishness.

Let me know if you want me to set things up with Loras. And if you won't think of yourself, at least think of Daddy and all he's risked and sacrificed to give you a good home and a decent life.

 

Sansa


	106. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

Do you do role play? I am particularly interested in exploring the possibilities of a stag-based scenario.


	107. RE: Pathetic Much? by LoverBoy20

Stop harassing me Sansa! I don’t have time for your stupid ass comments right now! Theon is in trouble, don’t you get that!? I need to bring him home! If you haven't got anything useful to say, then please shut your cake eating mouth!

\- Jon


	108. NOT Hot and NOT Horny in Winterfell  by LemonCake

Dear Robb, Jon, Arya, and anyone else who might be freaking out right now.....

I am NOT, repeat am NOT, "hot and horny in Winterfell". That is another ( obviously much heavier ) red head. Probably with a bad dye job exceeded only by her bad boob job. SO.....before you all start freaking out and blowing up my phone, I am NOT advertising myself as a sex worker. How TAWDRY!

LemonCakes


	109. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by RosXXX

Yes tho BDSM is extra. Contact on RosXXX@yahoo.com.


	110. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by LemonCake

Tywin?????

Is that YOU? Uhhh......I think you may have mixed up your red heads. CALL ME and explain!!

SANSA


	111. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

No BDSM. Simple stag play. Me as stag. Will email.


	112. NOT Hot and NOT Horny in Winterfell by RosXXX

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE BUT YOUR POST LOOKS LIKE A BAD REVIEW

You are screwing with my business bitch

I don't care if your hair is as red as a fox's ass you better not mess with my business

RosXXX

PS If your interested in making a booking for some girl-on-girl action then just contact me on RosXXX@yahoo.com


	113. People Living In Glass Houses   by LemonCake

Jon,

If MY mouth had been all the places YOURS has been, I think I'd keep my mouth shut about anyone else's. In case you've been too busy running around trying to rescue your real-life Kenny from "Southpark" to get in touch with Robb, I know all about "the box"....."the golden tooth"....and "LONG CLAW"!!!!

So I would shut my pie hole if I were you, buddy. 

 

Am calling Daddy --- right now!

Sansa


	114. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

Sansa, whoever you are, I can assure you that my real name is most certainly not 'Tywin' in real life. I merely refer to myself as 'tywintylose' as a form of highly amusing word play. Please refrain from contacting me again upon this site, for I simply have no idea who you are or to whom you refer in your comment.

Yours sincerely

Charles


	115. RE: NOT Hot & NOT Horny In Winterfell by Lemoncake

Wait a minute......Ros????? As in UNCLE PETYR'S Ros? Is that you?

SQUEEE!!!!!! It's ME, Sansa! How ARE you????????

OMG....I am SO sorry if I hurt your business, but can you see where your description and mentioning of Winterfell might lead some people to jump to the wrong conclusions? I've already had calls from a guy named Jory AND a man named Luwin who thought it was me. 

I'm probably coming by the office later today......I'll bring you an Iced Americana, 'kay? We have a LOT to talk about!

Oh...that reminds me. Stay away from the guy wanting "stag play". Already taking care of it.

Smooches!

Sansa the LemonCake


	116. RE: People Living In Glass Houses by LoverBoy20

Shut your mouth Sansa! Stop writing things like that on here, why would you do that!? And don't you dare call Dad, I don’t need him to get involved in this! Also, he’s way too busy for your gossip and lies right now.

\- Jon


	117. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by JailBait17

Dear Mr. Charles,

You sound really nice. Why would someone like you need to pay for affection and Stag Play? 

Don't get me wrong, I can vouch for Ros' skills --- she works for another friend of mine. But you seem like someone who just needs a little guidance and understanding to help you get where you need to go. I'm a follower of the "carrot and the stick" school of thought on these things myself. 

If you ever want to talk, feel free to drop me a line. Oh....and btw.....is that a mirror in your pocket? Cos I can SEE myself in your pants! ( wink )

JailBait17@XXX.com


	118. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

Dear Jailbait17

Please forgive my impolite and rather hasty response before. I would be most interested indeed in exploring this further with you - a staggering proposition, if you will pardon the pun. I would be delighted if you could contact me on CrimsonStag@yahoo.com

Yours 

Charles


	119. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by Jailbait17

Hi Charles,

I had to change up my identity a bit but I hope you can understand. SO....you like to play a wild, rutting, stag. Somehow I would have pegged you for a hungry LION myself, but Stags are really hot, too.  
Sometimes at night I like to sneak out of bed and take a long walk in the woods by my house, wearing nothing by my thin, white, cotton nightgown and some pretty panties.  
OH, MY! What was that NOISE!!! I think I hear something moving in the trees. .....and here I am all alone, helpless and barefoot with barely the strength to run. And all of a sudden, breaking thru the undergrowth I see THE MOST majestic set of ANTLERS I have ever seen in my LIFE!!

My heart is beating out of my chest and my perky tits are rising and falling with every heaving breath ----what will I do? Even if I could get enough control over my body to scream, WHO would hear my screams? OR my moans? I'm just at the mercy of this BIG, wild, BEAST!!!

Sound like something you can work with, Charles? I'll be waiting to hear from you.

JailBait17


	120. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

Jailbait17

To follow on from our previous correspondence, might I enquire as to your age before we proceed further? I am a man of some considerable standing and, whilst some harmless cervidae play would not directly threaten my position if uncovered, pederasty is not something I can afford to pursue at this particular juncture. I would be grateful if you could furnish me with a scan of some kind of approved identification via email? 

Sincerely

Charles


	121. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by Jailbait17

Dear Charles,

Check your e-mail. I sent you something I think will ease ALL your concerns and fears. Trust me. I can make it ALL better.

JB17


	122. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

Jailbait17

Many thanks indeed. I shall check my email as requested, but might I also have some indication of your gender? As you may have guessed, my preferences are rather specific, lying as they do in the realm of the even-toed ungulate mammal. However, I wish to rein in some of my more unorthodox fantasies, if I can, hence my response to the original advertisement on here. In order to do so, it would be helpful to discern both your age and your gender. I have assumed that you are male? Is this correct?

Sincerely

Charles


	123. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by Jailbait17

Do you NEED me to be a male, Charles? Is that what you like? I can be anything or anyone you want me to be. Look at the email I just sent you --- I think the pictures should speak for themselves.

What are you wearing right now?

Jailbait17


	124. Sailing Lessons?  by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!  
It's me, Sansa! I was just chatting with a friend about Stags and that naturally made me think of you ......and I was just wondering if you were still interested in teaching me how to sail?

I would love to see you, so let me know if you'd like to make plans.

See you soon! ( hopefully )

Sansa   
aka LemonCake


	125. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by RamFly666

Asha,

Your brother is quite well and working for me at my father's employee apartment complex. Theon was a little unstable when he showed up. With some concerns I did have him see a physician and a counselor we have on staff at our wonderful private clinic. He takes some medication for his anxiety and is on a rather specialized diet.

I am very happy with Theon's improvement both in health and in his work here. I am sending you an email with my personal number. Please feel free to call me anytime. I am sure we can set up a visit with you and Theon if the two of you wish it.

Regards,

Ramsay Bolton


	126. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I would be very pleased to instruct you if you are serious about learning. Sailing is a difficult skill to master and required discipline. You would have to be prepared to follow all of my orders implicitly.

Did you have a particular day in mind? I am often very busy with work, but I next Sunday would do for me if you are available then.

Regards,  
Stannis


	127. RE: Can You Read This Please? by DamonDanceForMe

Hey buddy!

I do know Theon and where he is right now. I know who he's with too. All about it and if you want to meet with me, I can talk to you about it. I saw your phone number and left you a message on how to reach me.

Damon


	128. RE: Can You read This Please? by LoverBoy20

Hi Damon

I got your message. I don't know who you are, so I really don't need to meet up with you. If you know where Theon is, then please just tell me his location, so I can get him myself.

Thanks

\- Jon 


	129. RE: Sailing Lessons?  by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!  
I will have to check with Daddy to be absolutely certain, but Sunday sounds perfect to me! I am SO excited to come out on your boat with you and learn about things like tying strong knots and hoisting sales and raising the mast!!

Don't worry, I realize sailing is not something to be taken lightly. I know the sea can be a rough and dangerous mistress, but I'm sure I'll be safe with you. As for discipline and obeying your every command, I think you'll find my Daddy has taught me well. I know how to take an order. I will gladly place myself ENTIRELY in your capable hands.

I'll be sure and pack us a picnic lunch, But what about appropriate attire? Should I bring a bikini? Or should I stick with shorts and a polo with maybe the bikini underneath in case we drop anchor and go for a swim? Oh, that reminds me .....I HAVE been certified to dive. Do YOU like to dive, Stannis? Maybe we will have to sail down to Dorne sometime and explore their famous underwater caves!

I look forward to hearing from you.....and I really am looking forward to seeing you soon.

Sansa  
aka LemonCake


	130. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY ESCORT by tywintylose

Jailbait17

Frankly, what I need is for you to possess four stout hooves, a pair of extravagant antlers, and a silky brown hide - indeed, if I am to speak plainly, the configuration of your genitalia is not my primary concern. I asked merely to ascertain whether options other than sodomy might be on the table. If other entrances are available, then that is most welcome news. Although I do not judge the sodomites among us, I am not myself a particular fan. 

I look forward to discussing this matter with you over email.

Sincerely 

Charles


	131. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

At the risk of sounding preoccupied with details, I feel must remind you that I suggested Sunday. If Sunday does not work I might be able to shift some things around to free up my Saturday.

The weather ought not give us any trouble, I’ve given the forecast a good look and the risk of storms or rough sea is minimal. It pleases me to hear that Ned Stark has not been remiss in his childrearing and that you are willing to follow my orders. It will make everything much easier once we are on the water.

A picnic lunch would be wise as we can hardly stop by at a restaurant out on the ocean. Your suggestions regarding attire sound appropriate. I am not much for swimming, but if you feel the urge I will most certainly not stand in your way.

I am a certified diver and though I do not dive very frequently I find myself intrigued by your idea of exploring underwater caves. If we take all the necessary precautions it could be very enjoyable.


	132. RE: Sailing Lessons? by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!  
Please forgive me --- I guess I was just so excited about getting to see you and go sailing with you that I incorrectly typed Saturday instead of Sunday, but I've amended it now. I guess maybe I didn't want to wait even one more day to see you again. ( blushes )  
Yes, I know all about discipline and I know how to fully submit myself to another in order to learn. That's so exciting you like to dive, too! The very thought of exploring those underwater caves with you makes me wish it were already Sunday. LOL  
I know you don't care for sweets or alcohol, but are there any food preferences you DO have? I want to make sure I cater to your every desire when I'm packing that picnic lunch.  
well, bye for now!  
Sansa  
aka LemonCake


	133. Blood on Carpet? by r

instructions online say use spray bottle don't have one anyone help? v worried will get wrong v important do good job anyone help? allowed to use computer 5 mins per day so pls answer quick thank you thank you


	134. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY by Jailbait17

Hello Charles,

Don't worry......I'm very much a doe, with all that that "entails". LOTS of options, LOTS of orifices. 

SInce you want me to have antlers, I am a Reindeer and I must say, I have a VERY impressive "rack". Would you like to lick my shiny hooves? 

Jailbait17


	135. Do You Even Have A Decent Pic?   by LemonCake

Jon,

Per your latest brilliant exploits, I have been going thru family photos in an attempt to choose one of you for the milk carton/obituary. Have you ever taken one where you didn't look like a constipated emo who'd just heard Kurt Cobain was dead? 

Honestly.....you will garner ZERO sympathy from that puss of yours. Well, I take that back. I DO have ONE pic where you're actually smiling. But I don't think you want anyone else seeing that, do you? Besides, it would be really hard to crop all those OTHER heads and thighs and thrusting pelvises out of it.

Oh, before I forget......I told Daddy. He says you're a grown man now and that while you don't have his name, you have his blood. Just try not to spill any of it on the good carpets. LOL LOL LOL

 

You are SO screwed!

Sansa


	136. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

Quite understandable, I suppose. I’m pleased you’re so excited and as I said, I’d be willing to go on Saturday. Especially since you seem to be so keen.

Discipline is absolutely vital and it’s very good that you’re ready to… submit.

We will perhaps focus on teaching you the ropes on our first trip, saving underwater cave exploration for later, although swimming ought to be possible. If you want… you said something about a bikini…

Do you have any experience with ropes and tying knots?

I am not a picky eater. I once had the misfortune of learning what it is like to nearly starve, and am therefore not very selective. But you are correct - I do not have a ‘sweet tooth’ and neither do I like becoming intoxicated. You’ve met my brother. I want to avoid making a fool of myself as he regularly does.  
If you could bring lemons and fresh water, and perhaps sandwiches I will be happy enough.

Stannis


	137. RE: Blood On Carpet? by SOURALYN

Mix salt into a bowl of cold water, pour over the stain and let it sit for a few minutes and then blot it with a paper towel, should get most of it out, depending on how big the stain is.


	138. RE: Ramsay Can You Hear Me? By lil_Wald

Hey Ramsay!!

Don't know if you saw my previous message but stopped by ur place last night just trick-or-treating ... in the woods... and saw a guy dressed as a shuffling zombie, moaning and everything.

Came by this morning to get some binoculars I'd dropped and he's still there... doing the same thing just further out in the woods.

Thought you should know.

SO WHEN WE HANGING OUT BRO?!

/please fucking call me/

\- w

 


	139. RE: Sailing Lessons?  by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!

Gee, either Saturday OR Sunday would be more than fine with me ----do you think there's a chance we could sail BOTH days? I'm sure Daddy wouldn't mind if I wanted to spend the night. He knows I'm a good girl and VERY responsible. 

Oh, I've been meaning to ask, what's the name of your boat? Will it just be the two of us or does it require more crew?

Funny you should mention ropes and knots. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of experience with both. I guess it's what comes from growing up with a houseful of uncles. Errr..... I mean brothers.

As for the alcohol, I can relate. My mother drinks a lot, too. She's much more discreet about it than Robert, but she starts with some vodka in her OJ each morning and by afternoon she's passed out in a pool of her own drool. It's okay.....Daddy says I'm better at managing the house and fulfilling her duties than she ever was. And I take my duties VERY seriously.

That's alright if we don't do any diving, at least the underwater sort, this weekend. It gives us something to look forward to. I'll still bring my bikinis, though. I have a new one I have been DYING to wear, but it's white so I have to try and not get it wet because then it just becomes completely see-thru. It's really more for sunbathing. I'll just have to make sure I don't accidentally fall into the water while I'm wearing it. That could be VERY embarrassing. ( blushes )

I was thinking of roasting a chicken in herbs, making a fresh, leafy salad from the vegetables I grow in our glass gardens, and bringing fruit and some cakes. As you probably have guessed, I LOVE lemon cakes. They've always been my favorite and that's even my Daddy's special name for me. Lemon Cake. They're not TOO sweet, but I will be sure to bring a selection of grapes and ripe berries for you. I plan on feeding them to you myself in hopes of finding out just what kind of tastes you really enjoy.

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Sansa  
aka LemonCake


	140. Please Help, V. Important!! by ItRhymesWithPain

Does anyone here have any information about pressing charges against someone who has abused you? Like, what kind of procedures would you have to go through, what kind of evidence would the police need? I'm asking for a friend of a friend. 

It's very important that this person gets locked up for a long time but my friend's friend is worried she'll end up revisiting parts of her past that she's been trying to bury for good. 

Any help would be greatly appreciated and may even end up saving a life, thank you.


	141. RE: Ramsay Can You Hear Me? By RamFlyr666

Nice to hear from you again, Lil Wald.

Next time you should call first before heading over. I am afraid I have been very busy recently and I am training a new employee that needs some extra attention.

I am glad you enjoyed our little zombie prank, we put him out there to scare off potential prankers. I will plan some time off soon for us to get together and get back to you.

Ramsay


	142. RE: Please Help, V. Important!! by DamonDanceForMe

what kind of help or advice are you hoping to get?

i might be in a position to help you out. 


	143. RE: For Sale::Large Kennel / Crate by RamFlyr666

Ben,

There are a few other items I am in need of if you happen to have them.

Do you have any E-collars? A choke chain? A Prong Collar? 

Also, I would like to speak with you about certain types of discipline techniques for my new pet.

Sincerely,

Ramsay


	144. HOSTAGE PLS HELP!!! by TheonGreyjoy

PLEASE HELP MY NAME IS THEON GREYJOY I HAVE BEEN HELD HOSTAGE DREADFORT ARMS RAMSAY BOLTON HAVE ESCAPED IN WOODS PLEASS HELP CALL COPS PLEASE HELP


	145. Nearest shelter? By PodDontPay

Passing through the North trying to meet up with this chic (wink wink) when I picked up some poor half starved kid. 

He's not making much sense but I'm starting a new job, have to leave asap.

Sounds like he had a really fucked up bf. Any nearby shelters for battered persons or lgbt youth in Weeping Waters or tricounty area?

Cheers,

HotRod Pod


	146. RE: Nearest Shelter? by Gr3nt

I'm a youth worker at a nearby shelter & have just seen your post - happy to drop by & pick the kid up if helpful? No bother at all - all part of the job.


	147. Runaway Puppy by RamFly666

This is to mainly Damon, Skinner, Yellow, Sour Alyn and other Hunters:

My new pet has run off. He is very skittish and prone to panic attacks. Does tend to bark and bite if provoked. I will pay a thousand dollars to anyone who can find and return him. He is special to me and I miss him terribly already.


	148. RE: Please Help, V. Important!! by ItRhymesWithPain

NOT YOU. Stay away from me.


	149. RE: Nearest Shelter? by PodDontPay

Gr3nt;

Aw, gee that's great! He wants me to take him. (He's pretty paranoid.)

Where's your shelter located? Anything I should do for him before bringing him over? Maybe he should stop at the ER first?

Cheers,

HotRod Pod


	150. RE: Which Streaming Service? By Prof_Drago

Dear TinyTargaryen

My sincere apologies for the unforgivably late response - I have been conducting fieldwork in Volantis for my forthcoming book, 'The Social Geography of Hills and Marshes (282-283 AC)'. Unfortunately my publisher is insistent upon my meeting the agreed deadline and so I have had to divert my attentions away from all matters dragonish in order to get up to speed on the marsh front.

Yes, I remember your brother well. I shall leave it at that.

I am sorry for this terribly rushed response - my tenure rather depends upon this book and so I must attend to my research rather urgently. Those herbaceous wetlands unfortunately will not research themselves.

Very best of luck locating a suitable streaming service.

Very kind regards 

Professor Khal Drago


	151. For Sansa, Where's Jon? by CantWaitToBeKing

Hey sis,

Did Jon write you? He texted me, saying he had located Theon and would go get him. But he didn't say where he was going, and now I can't get a hold of him. Do you know anything?

Robb


	152. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY by tywintylose

Jailbait17

Thank you sincerely for the wonderful time we spent together. I can honestly report that I have never brayed so hard in all my life.

I look forward to future encounters, which I very much hope will not be made 'on the hoof'. 

Yours

Charles


	153. RE: For Sansa, Where's Jon? by LemonCake

Oh, NOW it's "SIS, is it?

You want me to help you find Captain Fog so now sugar wouldn't melt in your pathetic mouth, huh, Robby? I have no idea where he is nor do I care. I have already called the contractors to see about knocking out a wall and converting his pathetic room into a walk-in shoe closet. For ME, of course.

I have also picked out a photo of him for the obituaries that makes him look less like Darwin's Missing- Link -with- girly- hair than most,.

AND I've told Daddy all about his affair with Theon AND you and how he's been running all over threatening people and acting like a fool. You can unpucker your ass now, Robby --- it's too late. Daddy knows ALMOST everything. And he says Jon is a grown man who has obviously made the decisions to get himself into this mess and he can ( and I quote ) "By the Gods make the decisions to get himself out of this mess". There was a lot of other stuff about blood and carpets, too, but I will spare you the details.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a weekend sailing trip to plan for. AND I have to go shopping for a set of antlers. AND I have to warm up the oils to try and ease some of Daddy's tensions.

Later, loser

Sansa


	154. For Arya - Read This by CantWaitToBeKing

Arya, I need you to look after your brothers and prepare dinner this evening. So no play dates today.  
The situation with Theon and Jon has gotten way out of hand and I need to go find him. Dad's working and I’ve given up on your sister at the moment, so please help me out here. 

You think you can do that for me? If you do a good job, I’ll let you have Sansa’s computer.

Robb


	155. LemonCake Is Needed At Home  by TheQuietWolf

Lemoncake,

On your way home do you think you could pick up some of that lavender oil if we're out......I'm not in the mood for peppermint or eucalyptus and the last time you used rose oil Robert Baratheon kept trying to sniff me for two days. If you can't find the lavender, almond will work just fine. 

See you soon,  
TQW


	156. RE: WINTERFELL HOT & HORNY by LemonCake

Dear "Charles",

yes, it was definitely an unforgettable experience. I am still trying to get all the leaves and twigs out of my hair. Don't worry about the bruises....I'll pop some extra vitamin C and they'll be gone in no time. I must say you took to the "wild" so very, very well. I am not over stating things to call you "Majestic". I think National Geographic would have LOVED to have captured THAT particular rutting on film. ( wink )

Speaking of film, I look forward to you sending me the pics you took. 

Talk to you soon,

JailBait17


	157. RE: For Arya - Read This by arya_underfoot

i can totally do that - sansa, you might as well kiss your computer goodbye now because it's already mine :D

seriously though robb, please make sure jon is okay. he was supposed to pick me up from hot pie's house earlier and never showed up, i've called his cell a dozen times and no answer, it's freaking me out. i've told mom but you know what she's like when it comes to jon...


	158. RE: For Arya - Read This by LemonCake

Robb,

You are more delusional than I thought ( and trust me, oh future king, I have long thought you were pretty damn delusional ) if you think you have ANY authority to give ANY of my possessions to ANYONE.

First of all, Daddy is right here with me on the massage table ---- it's gonna be a bitch to get the oil off my phone screen, thanks to you. He knows everything that's going on and knows I am the LAST of his children that deserves any punishement.

SECONDLY, Uncle Petyr bought me that computer and Tywin Lannister bought me BOTH of my ipads, so you REALLY have no right to give them away. If I were you, I'd start worrying about your own self. All I need to do is bump out one more wall and YOUR room can be my dressing room.

The housekeeper has already made dinner and Arya and the boys have eaten. Mom is still facedown on the cold tile floor.

Good luck finding the losers,

Sansa


	159. RE: Nearest Shelter? by Gr3nt

We have extensive medical facilities at the shelter - lucky to have a very generous benefactor, so fully equipped. Understand that the kid is twitchy - sounds like he might be on drugs? V experienced handling troubled youths & my advice would be that he needs help & support pretty urgently. More than happy to head straight over, as I say it's my job and no bother. But it's your call.


	160. RE: For Arya  by LemonCake

Nice try, mutt!

As you can see, my computer ( as well as my entire impressive array of electronics ) is still very much MINE. And the housekeeper made dinner for the boys. You can go soak your head, toke up, go hunt your boyfriend, or your idiot brothers ----- I really don't care. Now, if you'll excuse me, my hands are slippery and it's hard to type.

Peace out

Sansa


	161. Re: For Sale::Large Cage/Kennel by BadBones

Ramsay,

Just heard about your dog problem. My deepest condolences. Don't worry, he'll come back. They always do.

We can discuss shock collar training so this sort of thing doesn't happen again. And because we're friends and I know how deeply you care about your four-legged friend, I'd be willing to help out free of charge. I know it sounds harsh, but sometimes dogs just don't know what's best for them.

Ben


	162. RE: For Sansa, Where's Jon? by CantWaitToBeKing

Sansa,

I don’t really care whether you want to help me find Jon and Theon or not – although they are the ones who helped raising you, did your homework for you, when you went shopping instead, beat the shit out of every guy who didn’t talk nice to you, - even held pitiful tea parties with you in the garden, when you didn’t have any friends at school who could stand your behaviour. I’ll let you lose the connection with these family members, if that’s what you really want.

But I think it’s a bit too brave of you to threaten the person who will one day be able to disown you. Dad’s inheritance will be given to me alone, and I’ll be assigned the task of splitting the values amongst the rest of you. I know you’ve always thought that you were Dad’s darling, but you are not male, sister. I bet Dad has never told you the true details of his inheritance plans, right?

Forgive me, I guess I’m disturbing your important father/daughter time. Have fun sucking up to Dad now that you know who’ll eventually get the price. I’ll go look for my brothers.

Robb


	163. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

If your father permits it, it might not be a terrible idea to make a weekend of it. It will be good to go over the basics on Saturday and use Sunday to review what you learnt the previous day and put it to good use. And as long as you are… responsible, I don’t see why you couldn’t stay over.

The boat I had in mind is a little vessel called Proudwing, it would be just us on board. The Fury is too large to be of any use. I could never teach you to sail such a boat.  


I’m very pleased to hear you already have a firm grasp on ropes and basic knots, it will make teaching you the basics much easier. Although I fail to see how brothers or uncles could help. Are any of them scouts?

I’m very sorry to hear about Caitlyn’s drinking problem. Perhaps someone ought to discuss it with her? Sometimes there are reasons for these things that can be dealt with.

I would not object to any bikini you would like to wear. Although the white one you mention sounds like a risk as we will be out on the ocean, and the waves could cause you to lose balance and fall overboard if you’re not careful. However, I will leave it up to you. I’m told it’s not polite to police the fashion choices of women. Something about the patriarchy. Renly explained it to me.

The food you mention sounds much better than what I had in mind. But you don’t have to feed me anything. I would not ask you to do… anything… like that.

Stannis


	164. RE: For Arya - Read This by arya_underfoot

first of all SANSA CAN YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES i think jon might be in trouble so can you get your head out of your ass and let dad know??? tell him we don't know where jon is and he's not answering his phone.

secondly, i've never even seen you use that computer once so stop being so selfish and let me have it. robb's the eldest and HE said i could have it so just get the hell over yourself because i'm taking it as soon as i get home


	165. RE: For Arya - Read This by CantWaitToBeKing

Arya, 

I'll make sure you get her computer when I return, just like I promised. And since Sansa apparently is in the possession of two ipads, you'll get one of those as well.

I need to go, if you hear anything about Jon or Theon, let me know.

Hugs,  
Robb


	166. For LemonCake: A Day In The Country by WhiteSatin

Dear LemonCake,

I hope you are well, but I’d be remiss on my duty as a gentleman if I didn’t mention how overwhelmed you must be; so many errands, so many demands on your time, so many difficult situations. A precious girl like you deserves laughter, joy--and if you’ll forgive my bluntness--to be treated like a princess.

(You’re no servant to be running for oils. Any fool could see that.)

May I offer you a day in the countryside? Fresh air and a spot of shooting might do you some good--and I’ll bring the picnic. I’d certainly hope to see a bright smile and put some color in your cheeks. If you’d enjoy it, please let me know when might be a good time. I’d love the pleasure of your company.

Warmly,  
WhiteSatin


	167. RE: Runaway Puppy by DamonDanceForMe

I have eyes on your puppy, Ram. He is currently heading to a dog shelter. I am going to pick him up for you. Have my money ready, dude.


	168. RE:For LemonCake:  A Day In The Countryside  by LemonCake

Oh, Jamie!!! ( breaks down sobbing uncontrollably)

You don't know how glad I am to hear from you. Everyone is being SO awful to me. My horrible older brother Robb ( you remember....the chubby one who calls himself the future king ?) has been promising to give away my computer and one of the ipads Daddy Tywin bought me and now he's claiming that when Daddy dies he'll take away all my part of the estate if I don't do everything he says. YOU'RE a lawyer ---- Can he REALLY do these things? Is it even legal for him to give away what were gifts given to ME? This is 2015, not the Middle Ages --- isn't he wrong to say a daughter can't inherit? Maybe you can talk with our family lawyer and find out what daddy's will says. I'm pretty certain you know him and have his information. He wouldn't DARE turn down a Lion of Lannister.

Sorry.....I was crying so hard I was hiccuping and so I had to get a drink of water. I don't want Daddy to know how upset I am right now.....he's asleep and I don't want to wake him. Oh, thank the old gods AND the new that you're here with me now. You really ARE my knight in shining armor, aren't you? You're like something out of a song, riding in on your white horse ( or in your case black porsche ) to save the princess trapped by the horrible ogres and dragons.

I would LOVE to spend the day away from this madness and in the country with you. I can easily skip classes tomorrow if that's enough notice for you. Are you sure I can't bring anything? You spoil me, Jamie Lannister. If you're not careful, I'm going to turn absolutely ROTTEN on you. ( blushes )

PLEASE advise me asap about the gifts and the inheritance and let me know what time you'll be here tomorrow. I am counting the minutes until I see you and the SECONDS until you respond to this message.

Hugs and Kisses,

Your Good Sansa


	169. RE: HOSTAGE PLS HELP!!! by RamFly666

You are making me worry. I see that I did need to repeat myself after all. You are a slow learner. We can work on that, I am a very patient person. It would be better if you just accept that I know what is best for you. From everything I have heard you look terrible and you are a mess. You left your medication here. You didn't remember to take food or water, did you? Come back and I will help you, care for you. 


	170. A BONUS byDamonDanceForMe

Ramsay, since I found your little running puppy and I have the howling wolf in a cage in my damned van, I think we should talk about a bonus, don't you?


	171. RE: A BONUS by LifesABitch

Damon,

Rumor has it ANOTHER wolf is on the way to save the first one. I'll give you a SUBSTANTIAL bonus if you take BOTH of them. If you agree, you'll be contacted with the details.

Signed,

Life's a Bitch and So Am I


	172. RE: Nearest Shelter? by Gr3nt

URGENT: There is a very dangerous character on the loose, going by the handle DamonDanceForMe, well known for gay bashing and convicted for violent assault. It has come to my attention that he is attempting to contact you to gain access to this vulnerable young man. Call me urgently on 555-456-781.


	173. Robb Arya Sansa by LoverBoy20

bring help trapped in van

theon at dreadfort arms

dont come alone

call police

jon


	174. RE: A BONUS by Gr3nt

Sorry Dames, too late - you may have tracked the pet, but I've caught him. 

Ramsay, I will bring him straight to you. 

No need for a bonus. Just part of the job. But would appreciate it if you could go easy on the kid? He's in a pretty bad way, v confused and doesn't seem to really know what's going on.


	175. RE: For Arya, Read This  by LemonCake

Robb,

WE will have quite a few things to discuss WHEN you return. My electronics are the very least of what we'll chat about, dear Brother.

Sansa


	176. RE: A BONUS by DamonDanceForMe

Sounds good, let me just check with Ram on it.


	177. RE:For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside by WhiteSatin

Sweetest of LemonCakes,

Don’t fear, I’m here for you. Dry your pretty eyes and I’ll be there to pick you up right at nine a.m. It’s early, but I think we should get every minute we can of the day, don’t you?

Robb’s threats are cruel--and not legally binding. He cannot take your gifts and he cannot threaten your estate.  
He’s a petty, vulgar creature who’s simply trying to hurt you, which I cannot abide. 

There’s certainly plenty of ways we can pin him to the wall legally when it comes to it and we’ll discuss them. You needn’t fear nasty brothers, ogres or anything else--we’ll take them to the cleaners in court or their heads will be yours on a platter. It’s a promise and I keep them.

As long as I’m here (and Daddy Tywin is) you’ll have all the iPads and computers that your sweet self needs. (In addition to a picnic, I’ll bring a spare iPhone just for you, so you can always reach your lions. Keep it safe and hidden. )  
You know how protective we are of our treasures. I for one can always recognize a treasure, no matter how hard the unknowing try to keep them hidden in darkness.

For now, take a nice hot bath, put some cool cucumber slices on those sapphire eyes (my sister highly recommends those), listen to some of your favorite songs and choose something very pretty for tomorrow. You needn’t bring anything but your lovely self.

I’m prepared to run the risk of spoiling you (and there’s ways of adjusting that if there are issues, but I know you are a lady, a princess and best of all, my good girl.) Rest well, your white knight is on the way in the morning--and I’ll drive fast since I know how much you love it. And you can even choose the music. It’s been too long since there have been sweet love songs in the Porsche--and far too long since there’s been a such little princess beside me.

See you soon and remember that I am ever at your service.

Hugs and kisses from your white knight--  
Jaime.


	178. RE: A BONUS by LifesABitch

Damon,

New intelligence says a wolf bitch runt might also be heading to free your howling wolf . I will TRIPLE the bonus Ramsay gives you if you can take all three of them. I'm not sure yet what I want done with them, but take whatever means necessary if they force your hand. Call this number 555-6703 and the man who answers will verify that I am legit and the funds I am offering are very, very real.

Let me know if we have a deal,

Life's A Bitch And So Am I

P.S, Your Howling Wolf has breeched security and is attempting to call for help. Put him down. I now DOUBLE the amount already on the table


	179. RE: Sailing Lessons?   by LemonCake

Stannis,

I spoke with Daddy earlier and he approved the weekend trip! Would you like me to come down to Kings Landing Friday afternoon and spend the night so that we can get an early start first thing Saturday? If so, let me know so I can make reservations at a hotel, unless of course you wouldn't mind me staying with you?

As for the knots, let's just say the men in my family -- at least the older generation -- are very good with their hands. Ropes, knots, wood carving --- really anything you can think of -- they can do.

I KNOW you would never ask me to do anything Stannis. I think that's what first drew me to you --- you're so different from all the men and boys I've met before. I feel safe with you, truly cherished and respected. And believe it or not, that's a rare thing for a pretty girl to feel these days.

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this weekend. Being on the water, learning to sail, spending time getting to know you better --- it just sounds too good to be true and I'm afraid I'll wake up and all these beautiful plans will have just been a dream.

I'll wear the white bikini and you'll just have to promise not to let me get wet. ( wink )

I hope you'll call or text me back soon, Stannis.

Sansa


	180. RE: A BONUS by Gr3nt

To confirm: I already have the pet Reek.

On my way to Ramsay now.

Good luck locating the other mutts & no hard feelings guys.


	181. RE: A BONUS by DamonDanceForMe

Got fucked out of my bonus by the asshole freelancing and stealing running puppies. Yeah, I already caught the howler, he is muzzled and frankly he is too busy trying to figure out which part of him hurts the most right now.

You got it. Wolf hunting it is. Haven't put this one down yet. I kind of like him.  I know he is moody and feral but I might be able to tame the bitch. Thinking on it.

I am going for the wolves. Nice to work with you, friend.


	182. RE: Robb Arya Sansa by arya_underfoot

jon? what the hell is happening? where are you??

ROBB IF YOU SEE THIS ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE, I'M CALLING YOU

i was on my way home but sansa, dad and mom are literally going to do NOTHING to help so instead i'm on my way to look for you both right now.

why aren't either of you answering your phones? i'm getting really scared now


	183. RE: A BONUS by DamonDanceForMe

Fuck you, you weaselly little prick. You stole my bounty, asswipe.


	184. A Bonus For Damon   by LifesABitch

Damon,  
Hang on to the howling wolf and get the other two and you'll have a bigger bonus than Ramsay ever promised you. I really don't care what you do with the Howler OR the she wolf runt. Just make sure the fat one loses his head. I WILL want proof of death and a body to eventually turn up, so take whatever precautions you deem necessary to cover your tracks. If you called that number, you know this is no game. The job is real. The money is real.

I suggest you use Howler as bait to lure the others. They'll never be able to resist charging in to save him.

Contact me with an update as soon as you have anything to report. Again, I don't care what you do with the other two, as long as you don't lose them. But I want the Fat One missing a head.

Life's A Bitch


	185. RE: A BONUS by RamFly666

Thank you very much, Gr3nt. As I mentioned before, he needs medication, he rarely drinks or eats unless made to. He is very skittish and prone to barking and biting. I can assure you I want only the best for my little puppy. I am awaiting him eagerly, to gather him into my arms and my gentle care. I am preparing his favorite foods as we speak. Can you be sure to make sure he drinks at least one full bottle of water? He dehydrates so fast. 

 

Thank you so much,

Ramsay Bolton


	186. Robb help by arya_underfoot

robb i fucked up really bad. i don't know where i am and i feel like i'm being watched, PLEASE answer your phone

i don't know how to get home from here


	187. RE: A BONUS by Gr3nt

Sure, Ramsay. No problem.

I really am feeling quite sorry for this kid. He's pretty disoriented and doesn't seem to understand who he is or anything. I think he might be retarded? Usually don't get bothered by this stuff but reminds me of my little nephew. Wondering if you could maybe give him a break?


	188. RE: For Lemoncake: A Day in the Countryside by Whitesatin

My Dearest Piece of Cake

I’ve been out of town on business for father and only now have returned. My naughty brother regretfully failed to inform me that he had been in contact with you. Believe me when I tell you, he and I shall be discussing his...error in judgement in great detail...

But on to more important matters...my dearest sweetling...you most certainly could benefit from time spent with us...we most definitely recognize a treasure when we see it, and you, little one, are the sweetest treasure we could ever possibly admire. 

Yes, you deserve all the gifts we can lavish on you!! Perhaps some new fashions and a trip to the salon to get your hair and nails done? Our princess must look her loveliest and sparkle at all times...we’ll see to that even if your family doesn’t think you’re worth it.

Jaime and I shall be on tenterhooks until your arrival and shall have to find someway to amuse ourselves until then. I’ll accompany Jaime, and we’ll both bring you back here where you can forget all the troubles at home. Until the morning, take care, dearest girl.

Your Lovely Lioness, Cersei Lannister


	189. RE: For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside   by LemonCake

Dearest Jamie, my handsome knight....

I can't tell you what you sweet words and assurances have done to calm me. My siblings are horrible, jealous things but I must admit I'm a bit worried about them. Three of them ( the worst three ) have suddenly gone missing. I've called Uncle Petyr and left a message on his phone so maybe one of his little birds will be able to tell me what's going on.

You're right, though. I don't need to be worrying about them or ipads or anything else. Not when I have my big strong Lions to keep me safe and happy.

I know I will dream about you tonight, and normally that would mean waking up to bitter disappointment. But NOT tomorrow! Tomorrow my handsome knight rides to the rescue, and I will be waiting for you!

Sweet dreams and be safe driving here tomorrow,

Your Good Sansa

p.s. Will you REALLY promise to drive fast?? Squeeeee! you KNOW I love that!


	190. RE:  For LemonCake:  A Day In The Countryside   by LemonCake

Oh, my dearest Lady Cersei!!!

Our Wicked Knight neglected to tell me you were back ----- I was already over the MOON with joy at seeing HIM tomorrow, and now I may simply DIE at being able to see YOU, as well!!!

Is this a dream? If it is, I never want to wake up. Not long ago I was literally sobbing I was so unhappy and upset, and now my Golden Lions have swept in and put everything wrong to right again.

I will enjoy WHATEVER you plan for tomorrow --- as long as I am with my lions, I will ALWAYS be happy. 

 

Your loving Sansa

P.S. Is there a chance I may see DaddyTywin tomorrow, too? Then I will KNOW I have truly died and gone to heaven!!!


	191. RE:  Hi Mr. Bolton!    by LemonCake

Hi Mr. Bolton,

It's me, Sansa. I didn't hear back from you about whether or not it was a good idea to stop by today, so I decided not to take the chance you'd be busy. It's probably just as well.......things have been SO crazy around here. Three of my siblings have run off chasing some stray foster child, my mom hasn't been sober since Sunday, and Daddy has a migraine.

I was wanting to see about maybe setting up a time to meet later this week. Unfortunately, I have plans tomorrow and Friday, but Thursday after cheerleading practice will work great for me. A different uniform, but still a uniform. I hope you won't mind?

Actually, to be perfectly honest I'm not all that interested in a job. But I WOULD like to get to know YOU better. I hope that's not too forward of me to say, but you were always so kind to me whenever you came to the house and I've never forgotten that. Maybe we can talk over lemon cakes?

Let me know if Thursday afternoon at 4:30 works for you. I really hope it does.

Talk to you later, Mr. B!

Sansa Stark

P.S. If it's not too much trouble, I plan on having someone meet me there to finish up a business transaction. A gentleman by the name of Badbones has agreed to sell me some training equipment and I thought your shop might be just the place. I mean, you can't be too careful about meeting strangers, right? I know with YOU there I'll be perfectly safe.


	192. RE: Robb help by CantWaitToBeKing

Arya where are you? You're not supposed to be out!  
I saw Jon's text, but my phone's out of battery. I'm writing from a computer at a rest stop. I'll try to get home as fast as I can, but I'll have to figure out the way first, now that I don't have my GPS.  
I need you to find a place to stay, till I can come and pick you up. Write me here where you are, I'll write you back at the next rest stop. And call the police. Tell them that Theon and Jon might be held hostage at Dreadfort Arms.

Be careful  
Robb


	193. Runts For Sale by DamonDanceForMe

Ram,

I have two extra runts if you are interested. Since your latest puppy is recuperating and not in shape for the usual play you enjoy, maybe a second dog would do the trick. That way for your delicate puppy's consitution, you can use a rugged wolf for your rougher sports?

I have a male wolf already and have my eye on a little female pup now. Let me know. You know what my prices are.

Damon


	194. Found Your Wolf by TheSkinnerDude

Hey, Damie!

Did like you asked and got eyes on the big bad wolf. should I wait for you or go ahead and start the hunt? 


	195. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

You are welcome to stay at my house on Friday night. I will probably be working late, but my housekeeper should be able to let you in.

I didn’t realise the Starks were so interested in working with their hands, you’re fortunate to have benefited from their experience. I look forward to seeing what you can do with _your_ hands.

It is unfortunate that you have been surrounded by men who have made you feel anything less than respected. I am pleased you are aware I would never presume to take any _unwanted_ liberties with you.

Additionally, if this is a dream then it is a dream we are having simultaneously, which is a very unlikely occurrence.

Regarding your white bikini, perhaps removing it entirely would be the best way to prevent it from becoming wet?

I’ll call you with directions to the house later today, I am at the office right now. At a meeting, actually. I really shouldn’t be writing you this message.

Stannis


	196. RE: Sailing Lessons?   by LemonCake

I am giggling right now thinking about THE Stannis Baratheon doing something as naughty as texting me while he's supposed to be paying attention in a business meeting! I think I am going to be VERY flattered by that. ( blushes )

I can think of a few things I'd like to do with my hands....with you. And as for your idea about my bikini, well, you are truly a wicked, wicked man!! LOL

Tell me, are you sitting around one of those big conference tables right now? If you are, I wish I was under it. Then I would REALLY give you something to distract you from your meeting. ( wink )

I can't wait until Friday. I think I will have some lingerie shopping to do this week!

Yours always,

Sansa


	197. RE: Runts For Sale by RamFly666

Damon,

I want that male wolf you got today. You will have your price. Once my little bitch is doing better you can borrow him. We will discuss the rules of it later.

Ramsay


	198. RE: Hi Mr. Bolton! by RooseTheMoose

Darling girl,

Please forgive my rudeness in not responding sooner. My son has gotten himself into an emotional state over a beloved missing pet and I had to support him through it.  I am thrilled that you are still interested in trying my lemon cakes and it is flattering that you wish for my company if not the job.

I am most certainly available on Thursday and looking forward to seeing you again. I do know who Ben Bones is and he does the most wondrous specialized custom jobs in the area. I am impressed that you have made his acquaintance. I am very intrigued and truly eager to see you.

Yours Truly,

Roose Bolton


	199. RE: Robb help by arya_underfoot

i have no idea where i am! there's a closed book store and a tattoo place and then just a lot of empty office buildings and that's all i can see

i'm too scared to stop walking because i'm sure i'm being followed

please come get me as soon as you can, i've never been this scared before robb please


	200. RE: Bonus for Damon    byLifesABitch

Damon,

Little birds tell me the runt and the fat wolf are still on the loose. I trust you have everything well in hand. As I've said, the fate of the runt and the howler matter nothing to me. But the fat wolf MUST die. You will find I am EXTREMELY generous when I'm happy, and NOTHING will make me happier than a handsome wolf pelt.

The runt has sent a message to the Fat Wolf, begging him to come for her. It sounds as if she's in an strip mall of some sort, with empty offices and a tattoo parlor. The enclosed attachment has her phone information, as well as the Fat wolf's. That should lead you straight to them, but don't get over confident.

Let me know if I need to press my little birds to sing more songs for you. This CANNOT go wrong!

Life's A Bitch


	201. RE: Found Your Wolf by DamonDanceForMe

No, go on and do the hunt if you can. I just need a head or a pelt to show off as a trophy for the contract. We will split it.

Thanks for the help, 

Damon


	202. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

I would never do such a thing. Usually. This meeting is just rather pointless. (Robert is in charge of it.)

I do hope you didn’t receive the wrong impression regarding my idea about your bikini. I meant for you to take it off and put something else on instead. Unless you didn’t want to, in which case I would respect your choice.

There is a conference table, yes. I don’t know what you would be able to do underneath it as it is unfortunately made of glass. I mean fortunately. I mean… I’m not entirely sure what I mean.

Lingerie shopping? Have you run out of undergarments?

Stannis


	203. RE: Found Your Wolf by TheSkinnerDude

Damon,

Wolf was hunted and shot. I have a great trophy on ice. Send me the drop off and I want half plus you are paying for my trunk to be cleaned out.

Skinner


	204. RE: A BONUS by DAMONDANCEFORME

Life's A Bitch,

It isn't for you today though. I have your fat wolf's head. I have a little wolf pup to pick up and then I'll drop off your trophy. Always wanted to have a bitch of my own..might collar and keep the puppy for myself.


	205. Message for SANSA by arya_underfoot

sansa i need your help i'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and have no clue how to get home

robb was supposed to come get me but he's stopped replying and i'm sure there's someone following me but every time i look behind me i don't see anyone. i know they're there though i know it

sansa i don't care about the computer you can keep it and have my computer too and anything else you want just please drive out to meet me? i described where i am in a previous message to robb, can you find where i am?


	206. RE:  A Bonus For Damon   by LifesABitch

Excellent, Damon! 

My people have set up an account for you in Essos, this way neither of us will be plagued by troublesome bureaucrats who might not understand why this amount of money is changing hands.

I realize you may need more accessible funds at the moment. As soon as you deliver my "proof" to the designated drop site, you'll find your checking account has received a significant deposit. That should more than cover your immediate expenses and your airfare to Essos should the need arise.

I don't really care what happens to the other two. Just make sure they don't surface again. Or, if they do, make sure there's nothing left to identify them as Starks. IF this means you have to pull their teeth and dip their fingers in acid, so be it. But the rest of the world needs to believe them vanished and presumed dead.

It's been a pleasure doing business with you. I won't forget your skills in the future should the need arise. And don't worry about our messages being traced. They are going through such a complex network of routers, NASA and the CIA couldn't find us.

L.A.B.


	207. Local Review: Grant's Rescue Shelter by PodDon'tPay

I had recently had to take a stranded abused homeless youth to a shelter. Being from out of town, I had no idea what to do or where to go.

Not only did Gr3nt contact immediately, he was courteous and helpful... even enthusiastic, almost demanding really. Extremely concerned for the boy, he went out of his way to make getting the boy to safety quick and easy. Thanks for meeting me at Cracker Barrell! Love those quirky knick knacks!

I even got a small bit of compensation for my help! I didn't know that was a thing!

 

10/10 would recommend to a friend!

 

\- Podrick


	208. RE: Sailing Lessons?   by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!

I don't think you have the first clue just how sweet, adorable, and funny you are, do you? Not to mention drop-dead sexy and kind. I don't think anyone has ever cherished you, but I mean to.

I know you would never imply anything improper, and believe me, if I take anything or EVERYTHING off, it will be because I WANT to, not because you've done anything to make me feel I MUST. You're too much of a gentleman for that, and that's one of the things I adore about you.

A GLASS table, huh? Not gonna lie, that might present some challenges, but I think you'll find me VERY determined when I am after something I really, really want. I don't let much of ANYTHING stand in my way. Even glass tables. ( wink )

Oh, I have quite a collection of undergarments. But I want to buy things with YOU and ONLY you in mind when I pick them out. I want to find things you'll want to tear off of me. 

Get ready, Stannis Baratheon. I'm gonna treat you right!

Love and other indoor sports,

 

Sansa


	209. RE:  Hi Mr. B !  by LemonCake

Oh, Roose ( is it alright if I call you Roose? )

I am SO looking forward to seeing you Thursday. I know it's too early to really make plans beyond that, and as I said I'm out of town for the weekend, but I really hope we can spend more than an hour or two together sometime next week. Do you like going for drives or maybe just a nice walk in the woods?

Yes, Ben Bones was recommended to me by a mutual "patron" of his particular aesthetic, a fellow enthusiast who shares similar interests to my own. I hope to share those interests with YOU, in time, Roose. I think you'll enjoy them. Tell me, what's your stance on the "carrot and the stick" method of training? Is it anything you've ever used yourself?

I'm sorry to hear about your son's pet. I know how that is. I would be FRANTIC if anything happened to my wolf, Lady. I want you to meet her sometime, Roose. I KNOW! How about you come for an early dinner one night next week --- Daddy would LOVE to see you again, I'm sure ---- and then Lady and I can give you a tour of our family crypt. Not everyone appreciates the beauty and history of a crypt.....but it has always spoken to a special part of me, Roose. And something tells me you might hear the same voices speak to YOU, too.

As I mentioned, my two older brothers, younger sister, and our foster brother have all inexplicably gone missing in the last few hours. Daddy says they're probably just having an adventure --- at least the boys are ---- and my little sister has tagged along, as usual. But when I mentioned their disappearance to a friend of mine, he insisted on sending a bodyguard to keep an eye on me for the next few days, just until everyone turns up. I hope you won't mind if he tags along Thursday. I've never had a bodyguard before, but I'm pretty sure he'll keep a respectful distance and won't interfere with our getting to know one another better. I MIGHT even let you feed me a lemon cake or two. ( wink )

I look forward to hearing from you!

Sansa


	210. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I don’t know what to say… If I weren’t still in this awful meeting I think I might call you to talk this over properly.

Are you _certain_ you want to involve yourself with an old divorced man? I’m sure you have other options, kind and intelligent as you are… (I shan’t speak of your looks, I’m sure you are aware of them.)

Regarding your plans for new lingerie - that’s quite the visual. I don’t think I should really think about it now. (Meeting, glass table…)

Would you object to a telephone conversation when this infernal meeting comes to an end?

Stannis


	211. RE: Sailing Lessons?   by LemonCake

Stannis,

I wouldn't object to a phone call AT ALL.

I'll be waiting to hear from you.

 

Your Sansa


	212. RE: Message for SANSA   by LemonCake

Arya.

Guess you see what happens when you try and steal other people's things --- you end up lost in the boonies! WHAT were you thinking running off in the first place? Jon is a grown man and can take care of himself and if he can't, Robb is there to help him. What was a 15-year old girl who barely stands five feet tall going to do?

There is NO WAY I am getting involved in this ridiculous SNIPE HUNT!! I have plans tomorrow and don't intend to greet the Lannisters looking like something the cat coughed up. It's an aesthetic I know YOU like, but it's not really MY style.

I've covered for you with Mom and Daddy, not that either of them even noticed you're not here. I told them you're spending the night with friends, organizing a vigil for Gendry, WHO, if you care, is also still missing. I swear, I'm beginning to feel like the last survivor in some damn horror movie!

Find those two idiots you call YOUR brothers and get your asses HOME! And stop texting me ---- I'm expecting a VERY important phone call. oh...did I mention I was spending the ENTIRE weekend sailing with Stannis Baratheon??? Jelly yet? Of course you are.

Later,

Sansa

P.S. Tell Robb I know he lied about Daddy's Will


	213. For Lemoncake: Not A Chance, A Certainty by PrideofthePack

My dear LemonCake,

 

As you wish, it will be done. You know I have nothing but admiration for you. How could any proper man refuse the chance to bring you something that makes you so happy?

Jaime, Cersei and I will be there at the agreed time.I’d hate to have anything spoil our good time. As you know, I do not take chances in that regard.

I have another treat that may help ease your spirit: your brother Robb has been lying to you. He has no legal authority to give away your possessions and he has no legal authority over your father’s estate. You are and will always be safe. I promised anything for my lion-hearted girl. I keep my promises.

I will not have anything destroy this good news or your spirit. In light of this and the current situation, I’ll be sending Gregor and two personal bodyguards to keep you safe until you arrive in King’s Landing. They will not leave your side. If your father thinks so little of you as to leave you unguarded, he may discuss it with me. Regardless of what he may say, they will not go.

Be brave tonight as I know you can. Your lions are here. Including your DaddyTywin (and you know full well you are the only one who may address me so, little minx.)

PrideofthePack

PS. How gauche of your honorable brother and your honorable father. They never can see what is right in front of their eyes. A girl like you deserves far better than to be a masseuse and minder to a lush.  
We’ll see that you get it.


	214. Looking for a Place to Crash by G0dOtitsNwine

In need a discreet place to crash for awhile.

Prefer to room with someone who appreciates good conversation, philosophy, debate, fine art, Russian literature and getting wasted.

In fact, if you like to drink and don't find 'midget' jokes funny, please respond.

I have an obscene amount of money.

All the best,

Leon.


	215. RE: For LemonCake:  Not A Chance, A Certainty   by LemonCake

Oh, DaddyTywin!

I could just weep for joy to know you're coming with my Knight and Lady tomorrow! THANK YOU!!! I can't wait to snuggle into your lap and shut the rest of the world out.

Jamie and Uncle Benjen both told me Robb was lying, but it feels better coming from you. WHY does he have to be so awful to me? WHY couldn't I have been born a Lion of Lannister instead of a Wolf of Winterfell????? It's just not fair!

I apologize. I'm sounding like a spoiled brat. I've just had such an awful day and now all the idiots --- well, MOST of the idiots --- of my family have all gone missing. I am really grateful to you for thinking to leave your men with me. I know Daddy loves me, but he thinks the North is still like it was when he was a boy, even though he grew up in the Vale and basically doesn't know ANYTHING about the North.

Thank you for making me feel so safe.....when I'm with you I really DO feel like I am your lion-hearted girl. I wish I could be so brave the rest of the time.

Oh....does Gregor need to know that I carry my own hand gun? In case he needs to know, it's a Sig-Sauer P228. Uncle Benjie says it's the best gun for me.

Well, I guess I'll get ready for bed now. The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner it will tomorrow and you'll be here!

Your Loving Little Cub,

Sansa


	216. RE: Sailing Lessons? by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

First let me thank you for the _informative_ conversation we had today. I feel we are on the same page now.

I’m just writing because I forgot to ask if you have your own leash and collar, or if I should get one for you. If you want me to get one, do you have a preference regarding colour and material?

Stannis


	217. RE: For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside by White Satin

Saucy Little Lemoncake--

 

I’ll drive fast enough to make your heart race, and make you squeal and grab my arm, good girl. Because I know you love it. 

Hugs and kisses from your white knight, sweetling.

Jaime


	218. For LovelyLioness: A Grand Day Out from WhiteSatin

To the Loveliest of Lionesses,

My compliments; you are as clever as Lann himself and easily thrice as beautiful. A family picnic, two dazzling ladies, and our LemonCake getting the treatment she deserves, especially with some lady time together. Perfection.

That makes me grin like a schoolboy. I hope it makes you smile too. You know how your smile delights me.

A word of advice; Father has advised me that there may be some issues with our day of pleasure and repose. He’ll be bringing the SUV, if not more. I’d advise you to accessorize appropriately and make sure your bag is big enough for a magazine or three--not the ones that you slip your charming fingers through at the hair salon. (You can change to a more stylish bag when our LemonCake is safe in hand, though you always dazzle all those fortunate enough to be around you.)

Very truly yours,   
Jaime


	219. RE: A BONUS by DAMONDANCEFORME

Drop off confirmed.

Thank you for your business, let me know if you need any in the future. I have just picked up the smallest wolf and the howler is already with a new owner. There shouldn't be any issues.

Damon


	220. For Lemoncake: Not A Chance, A Certainty by G0dOtitsNwine

Grrrooooooss.

I just threw up $50 worth of a a tawny noir, and I never get sick anymore!

Tellyou little daddy's girl how you treat ur REAL kids sometime and Nooooooo no no no one wants cares that you 'could have forced ur mother to have abortion' for the millions timr.

Thank you autocorrect. You are my copilot and bff. 

You guys know what's so cool? Elevators. Amiright?

Escalators are fucking ducks and t hey know it 

!


	221. RE: For LovelyLioness: A Grand Day Out from WhiteSatin

My Dearest Lion, 

Your kind words are welcome, as always, and yes, knowing that our girl will be where she belongs, with her strong lions, enjoying our hospitality where she is safe and secure makes me smile as well. I'm glad the thought of our outing pleases you. My brother's happiness is always of paramount concern to me. 

The warning is duly noted and I will accessorize accordingly. 

Your LovelyLioness


	222. RE: Sailing Lessons?   by LemonCake

Hey Stannis!

I really, really, REALLY enjoyed our phone call. My fingers are still sticky. LOL

As for the collar and leash, I actually have several and will be happy to bring a few. 

But would you think I'm being terribly wasteful if I wanted YOU to buy them for me? I just think there's something really intimate about the jewelry a master puts on his pet --- it's the physical symbol of my binding myself to you, submitting to YOUR will in all things. I'll leave what it looks like up to you. It doesn't have to be fancy and expensive, just given from the heart. I guess if I DID have a preference, I'd like something dark blue, to match your eyes.

Well, you probably have better things to do than talk to me about collaring and leashing me while I wear a $500 bra and pantie set, so I'll let you go for now. But I'll have the phone right next to me on the pillow if you decide you're up for Round Two later. 

Sweet dreams, my One True King

 

Your Sansa


	223. BadBones, I Need Advice! by Ramfly666

Ben,

I have two very different pups on my hands and both are having some issues. One is the former mentioned pup. He is very high strung, prone to barking fits, fainting fits and now is weaker than ever. The vet who cares for him says he needs rest, food, water and a gentler training hand. His physical and mental health is pretty bad, I have to admit. So I need you to evaluate how I can train him without causing him any worse issues.

The other one is a new one and it's a wolf or at least a wolf hybrid. He bites, barks, howls, snarls and is a pain in the ass. I have to really work in order to make him obey. I would love some tips from you on him. And if you can bring the stuff I need when you come that would be great. I would pay for your travel of course.

Thank you,

Ramsay 


	224. Hey, BenBones! Want More Business? by DamonDanceForMe

Hey buddy!

I finally got my own pet! Kind of so ugly its cute type thing. A little wolf, purebred and totally a bitch! I really really need a few items from you, custom made of course on a few of the items.

Mainly right now, I need a muzzle or two. A pretty red collar, some training collars, leashes, also some restraints, but the kind with fur inside. Think I could sort of rush the order?

Thanks buddy,

Damon


	225. RE: Looking For A Place To Crash   by JailBait17

Hey Godotitsandwine!

Long time no talk. I'd set you up in the guest room, but most of your family will be here bright and early in the morning and I'm guessing you do NOT want that.

Good luck finding a place to say and call me sometime! I miss our Dostoevsky vs Chekov vs Tolstoy debates.

 

Take care of yourself!

JailBait17


	226. RE: For Sale    by LemonCake

Mr. Bones,

First of all, please allow me to apologize for the delay in picking up my muzzles, collars, and leashes. I'm afraid a series of unplanned and rather bizarre events took place that completely shook my entire schedule. Plus, I didn't hear back from Mr. Bolton until late.

Would Thursday afternoon around 4:30 at Mr. Bolton's coffee shop work for you? I'll throw in another $50 to make up for the delay and your having to meet me.

Also, I will be bringing some plans for a special kit I'd like you to work up for me --- collar, harness, leash, gag -- EVERYTHING. Of course, I realize something like this will take time, and you can't rush true craftsmanship. The gentleman who will be "indulging me" with this is extremely wealthy, so ....just as in our projects in the past.....money will be no object. I will let you know now I want dark blue leather, sapphires, and possibly silver.....but if you think the silver may not be strong enough, then we may need to go with titanium. You still have all my measurements and bite molds from our last project, correct? The one you did for me in crimson and gold? 

I'll have the exact details with me Thursday, but as always, I defer to your expertise and judgement. I may even have ANOTHER project for you after this one, but this will be for a true "recreationist" and therefore will be more about strength and durability than beauty. 

Uncle Benjie says "hi" and wants you to give him a call sometime --- don't ask me what about.

See you Thursday!

Sansa Stark


	227. RE: For Lemoncake: Not A Chance, A Certainty by PrideofthePack

My dear little cub,

 

It will be my utmost pleasure to have you in my lap.Having my little cub with me makes the world infinitely more delightful--and you make such lovely noises when I nip at your ear. 

You are safe with myself and with the pride. Always.

As for the petty and foolish men you mention: petty and foolish men are sheep. Despite how frightening they think they sound, it is always bleating to those with sharp ears. 

Never forget that you have sharp ears, sharp claws and sharp teeth no matter where you were born; I wouldn’t call you a lion-hearted girl or a little cub if I only thought of you as a Northern wolf, would I? 

You are brave in the midst of a dreadful situation. You have the eyes to see it for what it actually is and not what others say it may be.  That is true bravery.

Clever girl. 

A Sig-Sauer P228 is an excellent choice and I’ve informed Gregor that you have it. Regardless,  Gregor and the bodyguards will be right by you keeping our treasure safe.

Curl up and sleep well, little cub. Your Daddy Tywin wishes you the sweetest of dreams till he can have you with him.

PrideofThePack

 

PS. If you have any worries or tears tonight, imagine that any of those questionable fur pieces is a red and gold velvet cloak, then wrap it around you tightly. Keep the Sig-Sauer on hand too. That’s my brave cub.


	228. RE: For LemonCake: Not A Chance    by LemonCake

Thank you, DaddyTy,

 

I will be purring in my sleep now.

Can't wait to see you!

Your little cub


	229. Re: Looking for a Place to Crash by G0dOtitsNwine

Hey HEY ... you

I member you just hold on, wait a minimum. 

Rrrrrrrnt you the redhead who that kid Dion was hung up on? 

Wait, no, no, wait omg. You where hung up coz he was well hung! Get iy? Yeah u get it.

Holy fucking hells... r u

R U FUCKING MY DAD 

How many hors r gonna do this to me?! I'M WELL HUNG TOO

REMEMBER?!

Ha ha, remember my member? Get it? Do you like thst?

Dos any1 think I should have been a comedy?

What am I doing witj my life?

Does any1 want to snapchat? Will send pix of my crying into tray of hello shots.

 - the Lion wait no no wait Leon no, no, this is so hot ok Leone. Is that hawt? Hey is that the 300 guy r ths thundercat? 

Guts, remember thundercats? Member that,


	230. Hey, BenBones! Want More Business? by BadBones

Damon,

Long time no hear.   
Let's see. It's been a while since I've had to do anything custom, but you know I like a challenge.   
As you know, I'm still hurting from the recent loss of my two dogs, so I guess I'm looking for something to fill that empty space in my heart right now. Helping you out with your guy might be just the ticket. Pay if forward, I always say.

Ben


	231. Re: For Sale by BadBones

Sansa, my dear,

Unfortunately, I have sold everything to other interested parties. 

Fortunately, I also have a new order of custom products in the works and would be happy to put your order in as well. 

I will be out of the "office" tonight helping with several clients (I swear, something about the full moon makes animals go nuts), but I will have what you want ready by mid-week. Is this agreeable to you? 

Yours truly,  
Ben Bones


	232. Re: BadBones, I Need Advice! by BadBones

Sorry for the late reply. Business has been booming for some reason.

I'll be by around 6:00.

Ben


	233. RE: For Sale     by LemonCake

Hey Mr. Bones,

That sounds fine, as I said, no rush. You know I have plenty of equipment on hand, I just like special people to have special things and I always defer to your taste and judgement.

I am assuming we're on for Thursday afternoon at Roose's coffee shop? Let me know if there's a change of plans.

SO happy for you that business is booming, but don't work TOO hard!

Take care,

Sansa Stark


	234. RE: Looking For A Place To Crash  by Jailbait17

Hey Tyrion,

Well, I'm not a whore and I wouldn't let Theon touch me with a ten foot pole ( which even YOU don't have )......but I think you have finally remembered me.

Yeah....Thunder Cats were the best, weren't they?

As I said, I'd have you here at the house, but your dad ( and sister ) are due here first thing in the morning and I'm pretty sure that is a scene EVERYONE would like to avoid.

Things with your dad are....complex. He's a deep and fascinating man and I am extremely fond of him. I love him. I also love your brother and sister. AND I'm exceedingly fond of YOU. In fact, the only person in your family I DON'T love is that loser nephew of yours. LOL You gotta admit, that's pretty funny. If he had ANY idea that troll's head would EXPLODE!!

So, what are you doing here in the North? If you can find a place for tonight and aren't too creeped out by having Gregor Clegane around, you're more than welcome to crash here starting tomorrow night. I'll be heading down to Kings Landing Friday and you can always hitch a ride with me. It's not like you haven't done the same for me. Remember that summer I was 14 and I almost got busted crawling out of my Uncle Edmure's bedroom window and you saved me by yelling that you'd seen a dragon and everyone was so busy looking at you that they didn't see me? Those were good times, my friend. GOOD times.

I'll call you tomorrow night after the coast is clear!

Be careful!

JailBait17


	235. RE: For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside   by LemonCake

Hey Ser Jamie-fuckin-Lannister!!!!

I can't wait for you to drive like the wind --- let's RACE the damn wind, okay? Knowing you, we'll beat it!

Oh, heads up. Your baby bro is in town for some reason. He's pretty wasted and looking for a place to crash for the night. I would have asked him out to the house but I figured that would NOT go over well with everyone else in the morning. PLUS I don't need anyone to encourage my mother to drink. Catelyn Tully Stark --- she drinks like a fish! LOL Get it? A fish?

Anyway, after you guys go back tomorrow ( heart breaks at the thought ) I told him he could come and stay in the guest house. Then he can just hitch a ride with me and Clegane down to KL on Friday. Do you think that sounds like a plan? I can't really get much coherent out of him, the last text he sent me had to do with The Thunder Cats and me fucking your dad. ( sigh )

 

Sweet dreams, my handsome knight. And give my love to our Lady.

Your little cub


	236. RE: Looking For A Place To Crash  by JailBait17

Tyrion,

You know what? I can't stand the thought of you winding up someplace dangerous tonight. I've had enough damn people go missing on me today.....I don't need another. If you PROMISE me you will lay low all day tomorrow and not leave the guest house even ONCE, you can come on out here tonight. Sound like a plan?

Can you catch a cab or do you need me to send Jory or one of the guys to pick you up. Do you even know where you are?

Lemme know. We'll get some food in you, AND some water, you can take a hot shower and go to bed. Did you manage to show up with any luggage? If so, don't forget it. I doubt you want to wear my little brother's stuff from Gap kids if you have any other choice.

Call or text me asap

JailBait17


	237. RE: For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside by White Satin

Naughtiest of LemonCakes,

Then you are in for quite the ride, sweetling. It seems to me that a certain lovely little cub knows just what happens when she teases her Ser. Perhaps I’ll leave the top down so you can get a bit of extra fresh air--and you do look so fetching in that little wisp of chiffon you call a dress. That skirt flutters in the breeze so prettily. (Yes, I remember exactly what happened you wore that dress; when we hit 100, it was clear you’d forgotten smallclothes-we had to stop several times. Leaving early tomorrow is thus terribly important.)

Baby brother, hmm? Has he been texting you about Thundercats as well? He was quite enthused about discussing it into the wee hours last night--for some reason it’s been on his mind. Your guest house should be fine --and I know with Gregor and the guards you’ll be safe as well, which is of my most importance.

(It boggles the mind how rumors start and how they end; while people indulge their nasty rumors about my family, one could say the grand driveway to Winterfell is paved with Mother of the Year Catelyn Tully Stark’s vodka bottles--and the windows at the Great Sept of Baelor are made from her schnapps collection.  
But that would be low of me--although I do hope I’ve at least made you laugh. Your laugh is as pretty as little bells and we don’t hear it often enough.)  
Ah well, let’s think of pleasanter things. I know a little cub who needs to get some rest and have sweet dreams before we see each other. Your lions (including your favorite knight) will be there to sweep you away for a treat--and very soon we must sweep you away for a week (or even a weekend)--you’ve been at Winterfell too long. It breaks our hearts not to have you one night if not several. We all miss you so.

I’ll give your love to our Lady in her very favorite ways--and tomorrow you can too. Don’t forget to save some for your white knight, best of girls. 

Hugs and kisses from your Ser and sweet dreams, darling cub.

Jaime

PS. I’ve taken the liberty of packing a few of your favorite pretty things for our day in the country which I do hope you’ll enjoy wearing.


	238. RE: For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside   by LemonCake

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Oh, my white knight! You are SO wonderfully wicked!!

Do you think after I graduate I can come and spend the summer with you at the Rock? Think of all the fun we could have! We could travel ALL over the Seven Kingdoms and have naughty adventures everywhere we go!!

Sleep tight, don't let the bad little cubs bite! UNLESS, of course, you LIKE that sort of thing. ( wink )


	239. Everthing According To Plan   by LemonCake

Hi Uncle Petyr!

Just wanted to let you know that EVERYTHING is going according to plan. I'm spending the day with the Lions tomorrow, meeting Roose on Thursday ( WITH a Lannister bodyguard ) and I leave Friday for a weekend of fun and sun and sin with Stannis on his boat.

I miss you! Ros said you were in a meeting when I dropped by this afternoon --- I LITERALLY didn't get to stay for five minutes before the idiots known as my siblings forced me to come home and get everything under control. 

Call me when you get this --- I'll be up for a while

Sansa


	240. RE: For LemonCake: A Day In The Countryside by WhiteSatin

Dearest little cub,

Nothing could delight me more. Summer at the Rock is yours.   
Besides, we’ll get you out of this blasted snow and ice and into some sunshine. You can loll around in it all you want; it gladdens my heart to think of you sleeping in a sunbeam.

Your idea is splendid. Travel broadens the mind. So do naughty adventures. Clever little lemoncake.

Of course I like it when the bad little cubs bite--now I’ll have trouble getting to sleep. Whatever shall I do about that, naughty girl?

I’m certain you’ll giggle about that, but I’m also certain things will be balanced out to our satisfaction. You know how that works.

Close those pretty eyes, keep warm, keep your weapon close and your pride will be here for you in the morning--and your white knight has plenty of kisses and hugs. Think of that.

Dream lovely dreams, princess.

Jaime

PS. And brave little cubs who don't get enough sleep might doze off in their Ser's fast car and miss all the fun--and we don't want that, do we?


	241. STARKS HELP by LoverBoy20

HELP US HELD CAPTIVE AT DREADFORT ARMS BY RAMSAY BOLTON

SAYS ROBB IS DEAD ARYA WITH SOMEONE

THEON SEVERELY HU


	242. . by r

master  
says  
very  
sick  
master  
says  
be  
here  
master  
says  
say   
hello  
master   
says  
get   
well  
master  
says  
good  
boy  
if   
well  
bad  
boys  
get  
sick  
master  
says  
say  
hello


	243. RE: Help Requested!! by Samwell_Tarly

I would like to introduce myself as Samwell Tarly and to apologise for the confusion that has been created above. Unfortunately my ex-girlfriend, Gilly, is in a very delicate state following our breakup more than 18 months ago. This is not the first time that Gilly has posted in a public forum that I have passed away, but I can assure you that I am very much alive. I would just like to note that Gilly and I do not have, and have never had, a son. We did, however, used to own a beautiful little miniature pony called Sam, who we very sadly were forced to put to sleep due to ring-rot and overgrown hooves. I had been starring in a theatre production of The Wall at the time, on tour, and had assumed that Gilly would care tenderly for our little Sam. When I returned, our poor pony was in a terrible state, and so was Gilly. It was this unfortunate event that instigated our breakup and, in the case of Gilly, a breakdown. I have contacted Gilly’s father in the hope that he will be able to take Gilly into his care, and my understanding is that she is now safe and sound back at home receiving the attention she deserves. But I just wanted to come on here to clarify that I, Samwell Tarly, am alive and well. To my knowledge, my identity remains very much my own, and so I can only assume that the ‘SamT’ character to which Gilly refers is a fabrication of her own making.

\- Samwell Tarly


	244. RE: Help Requested!! by tywintylose

Might you go into further detail about those hooves?


	245. RE: Help Requested!! by Samwell_Tarly

PS On another note, I am a little concerned to read some of the other content on this and other threads. Theon Greyjoy is a close personal friend, and indeed I was in touch with him on GChat earlier today. I am hoping to meet him tonight to catch up on various matters. He has long been estranged from his father and so the above simply does not make sense. I wonder if perhaps this is another of Gilly’s fabrications? I will contact Theon to let him know the situation, but according to our chat earlier, he has not taken up a new career in recent weeks.


	246. MESSAGE FROM THEON GREYJOY by Theon_Greyjoy

My name is Theon Greyjoy, one-time winner of International Male Escort of the Year (296 AC) - you might recognise me from the various ‘Fifty Shades of Greyjoy’ memes that became popular a while back. One of my clients has alerted me to some of the threads that have appeared on this site. I am pretty used to my identity being used and abused in this way, and so I’m not going to spend too much time on the issue here. But, suffice to say, I am *not* looking for new work and so, if any existing clients are reading this, please know that I have not left the industry. I’m also actively seeking new clients so, if you’re a guy looking for a good time, just hit me up on 555-675-985. You won’t regret it.


	247. RE: Help Me Find My Brother??? by Theon_Greyjoy

Asha, I don’t know what’s happened here but I’m totally fine. So sorry for the silence - been filming in Lorath. Not sure why you’d think I’d be in trouble?? Sorry for the nasty tweets with dad - as you know, he’s not a big fan of my career choices. Wish he wouldn't put me down so publicly, though - have had to block him. Been reading the threads on here and some kid has been posing as me (he even put I'm 19! LOL!!) Sounds like he might be in a heap of trouble, hoping he's doing OK. Anyway, in town for a few nights to see a few clients. Hit me up on 555-532-019 if you wanna meet. T x


	248. Advice on Troubled Teens? by Old_Nan

I am writing to request some advice on dealing with teens? I am a nanny, working for a wealthy family, and their youngest son is causing us a very great deal of concern. Quite simply, I believe that the boy - who I shall call ‘R’ - may be suffering from serious mental illness. Unfortunately his parents point-blank refuse to find him the professional help that he deserves, focusing as they do on dealing with the mother’s raging alcoholism. But I am deeply concerned about R. Recently, he has become obsessed with another, much older fellow, ’T’, who - shall we say - is far from an excellent role model. Following in T’s dubious example, I believe that R may be developing homosexual tendencies and so is clearly at risk of psychosis as a direct result of this. I attempted to speak with R about this two weeks ago, but - as has happened several times before - he promptly ran away from home. His parents are most relaxed about his disappearance, and I have been instructed simply to ‘let him stew’ on the understanding that he will come home when ready. However, he has yet to return and I am becoming increasingly worried. How should I handle this situation? The boy is just 15 - although he regularly pretends to be much older - and at very great risk of being turned by the many homosexuals who live in this area. Can anyone please advise? Yours thankfully. Old Nan.


	249. RE: Advice on Troubled Teens? by It_Varys

Old Nan, I am sorry to hear about R's situation and I really hope that you find him. However, you might not be aware that homophobic remarks are now classified as hate speech in five of the Seven Kingdoms, and so you do need to be mindful of that when posting on this site. Given the other content of your post, I won't report you to the site administrators and wish you the very best of luck. But I just wanted to alert you to this issue, as you could potentially find yourself in some trouble when making remarks like that. On another note, I'd just like to say that people come in all shapes and sizes and there are many forms of love too. My own nanna used to say that, so long as you're lovin' and not hatin', you're all right. I can see that you love this young man and he is lucky to have someone looking out for him.

All the best

V


	250. RE: Advice on Troubled Teens? by Old_Nan

Dear V  
Thank you for your incredibly generous and kind remarks, and for not judging me. I can see that I have much to learn, and feel quite humbled by your response. I do appreciate your patience, and for the gentle warning, which I shall take on board. Thank you.  
Yours  
Old Nan


	251. Gay Porn Video, Twink Porn by TheonXXL

Hardcore action with TheonXXL

Watch this twink jerk, fuck & suck his way to the top

Bonus content: three-way action with The Mountain & The Hound

Click here to view


	252. [Blocked Content]

_The content of this post has been blocked for your safety._

_If you believe that this content may have been blocked in error, please contact the Site Administrators here._


	253. Locksmith Needed   by LemonCake

Good morning Jory!

Thanks for tracking down my drunken little friend last night --- he's really a good guy and I hope you get a chance to spend some time with him when he's sober.

I'm going to be out for most of the day and then will be gone from Friday until Monday, so I hate to ask, but could you keep an extra-sharp eye on things here at the estate for me? Of course Daddy and Uncle Benjie will be here, but the last time I went away to Highgarden for a week, mom aspirated on her own vomit and nearly died and there was apparently some kind of orgy in the guest house.

Now, getting back to my reason for writing you in the first place........while I'm out today, can you have the locksmiths come by and install some industrial grade locks on the door to my personal suite? At LEAST three, and make sure they leave ALL keys with you. I don't want to sound paranoid, but some of my lingerie appears to have been "tampered" with.....and as most of my impressive and very EXPENSIVE collection are all gifts from dear friends.....I really can't have that happening. You know I've never objected to the borrowing of an occasional pair of panties to help get someone thru the night, but you really DON'T want to know the details of what's been happening. Let's just say what's been done to some of my things is a SACRILEGE to La Perla. And while they haven't been DAMAGED, I am pretty sure someone has been trying on my shoes, and the gods know it's not Arya or mom.

I'm actually going to be meeting with a company in KL on Friday that specializes in combination locks --- almost like a safe --- for closets and dressing rooms. My friend Margie has had them installed to keep her brother Loras out of her things. Honestly, as creepy as this family is, this is NOT something I ever thought I would have to worry about.

Thank you for keeping an eye on things and taking care of the locksmith for me.......and for just being you. Honestly, Jory, sometimes I don't know what I would do without you. Everyone wants me to be so many different things to so many different people, sometimes I almost feel like I'm being torn apart. But no matter what, you've always been my rock. Not a day goes by I don't use the skills you and Uncle Benjie taught me and I am SO thankful for you.

I've got a surprise for you and Uncle Benjie later this week ---- one hint : Mr. Bones! hee hee

Hugs & Kisses,

Lemon Cake


	254. Security Concerns   by Lemon Cake

Mornin' DaddyTywin,

Your little cub is up EXTRA early getting ready for you. I can't wait for you to see the new color I've painted my little "hooves" for you. NO hints, though. It's a surprise!!!

One thing.....I have noticed someone(s) has been coming into my room and going thru my things. Of course I keep my jewelry in my safe, but some of my pretties you've given me have been "disturbed" and I'm fairly certain someone has been trying on my shoes and looking thru my makeup and perfume. Normally, I would write this off to a curious little sister, but I think we both know THAT'S not the case. LOL

I know you've had all those special locks and monitoring systems installed at the Rock ---- do you think you could have your people come here and fortify my suite? Right now it's just the bedroom, sitting room, bathing suite, walk-in closet, and dressing room......though I do plan on adding a special shoe closet soon AND maybe expand my dressing room to make it even larger so I can keep my little pretties on display in glass cases. Won't that be nice?

Anyway, if you could have them come.....and maybe set up some kind of retina scanner as part of the lock -- that would be WONDERFUL!!

Guess what? Ser Jamie and I have been planning for me to stay at the Rock with you this summer --- what do you think? Would you like that? I could come to your study every afternoon and evening and help you relax......I've had YEARS of training and can't wait to put it to use working out those kinks that you might get in your neck and shoulders. hmmmm.......just thinking about it gets your little cub FAR too excited for this early in the morning, especially when I'm all by my lonesome with no one to help. ( wink )

I am now counting the minutes until you get here --- time to pop in the shower. I want to make sure every INCH of me is scrubbed and pink for you.

Your Little Cub


	255. Robb, Jon,& Arya: Listen Up, Losers!   by LemonCake

Okay, you idiots,

You've now officially been gone an ENTIRE NIGHT! Mom and Daddy would be worried sick if they actually cared about any of you. I obviously don't care about any of you either, but this IS very rude and inconsiderate behavior, even coming from YOU.

I am going to be out with the Lannisters for most of the day, so don't even bother with any more of your ridiculous calls and texts -- I am THIS close to blocking all of you.

You need to get your asses home ---I am pretty sure Old Nan has developed a severe case of dementia and the last time we were all gone for the day mom passed out and nearly aspirated in her own vomit on the kitchen floor.

Oh, and Robb? If you even THINK about coming in my room and touching ANY of my things, I think you'll find a very NASTY surprise. That goes for Milk Carton Boy and Lady Ringworm, too.

Later, Losers --- GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!

Sansa


	256. Plans For The Day  by LemonCake

Dear Daddy,

Just wanted to remind you I'll be out for most of the day and won't be available to have breakfast or lunch with you. The cook knows to bring a tray to your study and I should be home for dinner, albeit a late one.

Jory is going to drive the boys to school ---still no word on Robb, Jon, or Arya but I think you're right, they'll come home when they're good and ready and in the meantime we should enjoy the peace and quiet.

I didn't want to mention this, but mom has apparently found a way to get around the breath-a-lizer tests we've been giving her ---- she's started ingesting bottles of Vodka via an enema. I did some research and apparently taking the booze straight into your rectum like that allows it to hit the blood stream much faster than if you're merely drinking it. My biggest fear is she's going to perforate her colon --- again.

Such unpleasant talk for such a beautiful morning -- forgive me. Uncle Benjie and Jory are going to be keeping an eye on things today.....no need for you to worry that handsome head of yours about a thing. But if you DO get tense, your LemonCake will be home soon to make it alllllll better. ( wink )

Love you Daddy,

Your LemonCake


	257. Creepy swamp man!? by OwlEnthusiast91

Hey folks!

I went owl spotting the other night, when suddenly I heard some weird, creepy whining sound. When I turned around, I saw this!!

I swear I've never run so fast in my life!! Who, or WHAT, is this?! Have any of you seen anything like this before?? It's freaking me out!!

 

P.s. To all of you unbelievers out there - this picture is NOT fake!!


	258. Attention Starks and Friends! by LoverBoy20

I just want to let you all know that I am very sorry for causing any worry or concern. I have checked into a very private rehab facility that is helping me out with my deep emotional issues. Privacy is key to my mental health right now so I will not be giving any information concerning where I am. I am sorry for my delusional whining and pathetic attempts to play hero for someone who did not want my help nor even need it. 

Sansa, I am truly sorry for causing you any type of distress at all and I am not going to sully the family with any further contact. 

Signed,

Jon


	259. To R. by RamFlyr666

Hello there, sweet good boy that is a very sick boy.

You should rest and not use the computer until you feel better. I think your kind loving Master is being generous by allowing you such a comfy bed, pain medication and time to get all better. You should rest because your Master will be bringing by a very good friend tonight to visit with you. This person needs to see you standing and obeying if you can. So be a very good boy and get off the computer, lay down.

 


	260. Mistaken Identities? by RooseTheMoose

I am concerned and would like to see you in my office immediately, Ramsay. You may bring Damon with you and I have already sent Locke to pick up Gr3nt and Skinner. I want answers and I want them now.


	261. RE: Attention Starks & Friends   by LemonCake

Jon,

I wish it hadn't come to this, but I'm just relieved to know you're getting help.....and MORE importantly.....getting out of our lives. Your very existence has been nothing but an embarrassment to Daddy and the rest of our family since the day they found you under a pile of wolf crap.

To show that there are no hard feelings, instead of burning all of your personal belongings, I will arrange for them to be donated to charity. That way other little pitiful goth-emo-vampire-wannabe's can share your bounty of pathetic-ness. Where you were even able to FIND some of that stuff boggles the mind. ANYWAY.....I already have contractors scheduled to start turning your former room into my shoe closet, so you can take comfort in that.

I am hoping you have checked Robb and Arya into this facility also? IF so, tell them if and when they ever come back, they can find new rooms in the guest wing. I am really knocking out walls and expanding my suite. Leaving like this may actually be the kindest thing any of you have ever done for me. It almost makes me not hate you.

I'll make sure Daddy knows you won't be back. I'd tell mom but I don't need her celebrating right now. I'd say Bran and Rickon would miss you, but I think we all know that would be a lie.

Good-bye, Jon. 

Sansa


	262. Thanks Again, Ben! by DamonDanceForMe

Hey thanks again for taking the time to visit me and bring all the items I needed! I know that you will helping Ramsay at his house on and off for the next week or so. He called me too and I will try and come by myself but I just have my own hands full as you know! 

The equipment works great and your techniques really are amazing! I can't believe how well my new bitch is already learning. A muzzle and the right punishment really can make a difference! Never had such a rambunctious puppy before but from what I've heard its normal at first. Besides, compared to Ramsay's new wolf, you must have thought my little runt was a piece of cake! LOL!

Damon


	263. RE: Plans For The Day   byTheQuietWolf

Lemoncake,

That all sounds fine --- have a good time. I am assuming you know why our contractor has already called twice this morning about renovations? I am forwarding his info to you......please handle it like you handle everything else for Daddy.

The house DOES seem strangely quiet this morning......I'll have Old Nan spend extra time telling Bran and Rickon stories in case they start missing the others.

Love you,

Daddy


	264. Winterfell Construction Project   by LemonCake

Hi Mr. Mormont!

Thanks for getting back to us so quickly, the relationship our family shares with you and your company is one of our most precious resources.

As I said in my phone call yesterday, we are planning to expand my personal suite. To do this, we'll need to knock out a few non-load-bearing walls and incorporate four rooms that have previously been used as other bedrooms.

Enclosed, you'll see my general outlines for the plans. I would like to bring in some special sub-contractors to handle the custom work. There is a company in Lannisport that does INCREDIBLE custom tile and cabinetry. I plan on adding a sauna, so there will be need to bring in plumbers. The same ones who installed my new shower and tub last year should be fine. They did a wonderful job. 

Please contact the Umbers for the reclaimed cherry flooring already in the rest of my suite --- I want this addition to appear seamless and not as an "add on". I will be bringing in a closet designer from Highgarden, a lighting consultant from Kings Landing, as well as a company to install various locks and security features. You'll find all of their names and contact information in the above mentioned attachment.

As usual, I'll be point-person on this project.....no need to bother Lord Ned. However, as I would like you to come out today if possible for a preliminary inspection, I'm going to ask that you ask for my Uncle Benjen. I will be out of town on and off for the next few days and he can act as my eyes and ears, though you know I am just a phone call or text away if you have questions/concerns only I can answer. Uncle Benjen knows to expect you.

On a more delicate note, I trust you to remain discreet regarding my mother and her "illness". You probably won't even see her, but if for some reason she does stagger across your path, please just ignore her. 

I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Sansa Stark


	265. Dr.Q MD Medical Advice Online!! by Dr.Q

I am DR. QYBURN AND FOR ONLY A DOLLAR A MINUTE WILL ANSWER YOUR MEDICAL QUESTIONS!

TEXT  EMAIL PHONE, WILL GIVE CLEAR EXPERT MEDICAL ADVICE!!!


	266. RE:  Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online    by Jailbait17

Dr. Q,

Just curious, in your experience, what is the usual healing time for a branding mark, provided the recipient is in good general health and the iron used is standard?

Also, what after-care would you recommend ---is a round of broad-spectrum antibiotics necessary?

Please get back to me asap!

JailBait17


	267. RE: Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online   by EeryLadyoftheEyrie

Dr. Qyburn,

I have consulted with the best doctors in Kings Landing and the Vale and NONE of them tell me what I want to hear. What is YOUR opinion on the proper weaning age of a child?

Also, do you have a good recipe for preserving things .....like fetuses? A friend and I have been trying to work out just the right formula for YEARS and still haven't come up with anything we really like. The solution I'm using now is from Dorne and I don't think THOSE people really know what they're talking about.

Sincerely Yours,

Lysa Tully Arryn


	268. RE: Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online By Dr.Q

In order for me to properly help you I would need a picture of this brand. A close up as well as further back with several angles, please. And fully unclothed will help.


	269. RE: Dr. Q Medical Advice Online   by Jailbait17

Dr. Q,

Normally, photos like the ones you're asking for would NOT be a problem, but in THIS particular situation, it's really not possible. I realize you can't give SPECIFICS without actually seeing the brand, but can you at least give me general information ?

Oh, and just so you know, I have an extensive background in wound care. Daddy always says that "she who causes the pain should also wield the mercy".

Get back to me ASAP, please!

JailBait17


	270. RE: Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online By Dr.Q

Dear Lysa,

Weaning is a very personal thing and it is considered that you should wean your child before they leave for college, marriage, or such things.

As for your other question, please email me at QybrnMircls@hotmail.com. I have a solution that may work well for you.


	271. RE: Dr. Q Medical Advice Online   byEerieLadyoftheEyrie

Dr. Qyburn,

Thank you for your prompt response. I must say your position on weaning is the most progressive I have ever come across in the last ten years. SO refreshing. I have looked over your formula and I think it may be JUST what we've been looking for. I NEVER would have considered adding any of those things to the formaldehyde. 

On a personal note.....are you married? If not, might I entice you to meet me for drinks and dinner some time? A learned man of your talents is SO very hard to find.

Yours,

Lysa Tully Arryn ( widow )


	272. RE: To R. by r

rhymes  
with  
sick on  
rhymes  
with  
bracken  
a bit  
like  
reckon  
a bit  
like  
slacken  
master  
angry?  
going to  
blacken  
both  
my  
eyes and  
then do  
fuckin?


	273. RE: Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online By Dr.Q

Jail Bait,

Please refer to your email and I have sent you my famous burn recipe.

 


	274. Spot on Starks by JoinSoon

 

His established law poisons mighty empires,

claimed and plagued territories in valleys east.

Beasts of loyalty threatens our nights.

 

\- Join our numbers


	275. RE: Dr. Q Medical Advice Online   by JailBait17

Thanks Dr. Q!

Your burn recipe looks great --- I will whip up a batch soon! As for the other stuff, thanks....I wasn't sure and I didn't want to take any chances, ya know?

I'm sorry I couldn't send you pics of the brand itself --- there were third party privacy concerns, that's all I can really say.

To make it up to you....open the attachment I just sent you. LOTS of nice pictures for a nice doctor! LOL You're Welcome!

Btw....would you care to sign on as someone I could keep on round-the-clock retainer? I think you'd find the pay excellent, the work challenging, and the fringe benefits VERY much to your tastes. All I ask is your complete loyalty and discretion. And of course you would be required to sign the standard non-disclosure agreements I have all of my people sign. Our family lawyer has modified it to suit my particular needs.

 

Look over the contract I sent with the pics and get back to me!

JailBait17


	276. RE:  Dr.Q Medical Advice Online   by BastardHater69

Dr. Q,

Does soaking a tampon in vodka before putting up yourself really work? I would try it to see, but don't want to waste my drihk uf it deosn't work.

 

BastardHater69


	277. RE: Winterfell Construction    by BigBearMormont

Thanks Sansa,

The relationship we've maintained over the years with the Starks has really been the cornerstone of our business. Your family has not only trusted us to do work for you, but has recommended us to many others and that is a debt we can never repay.

I looked over the plans you sent me.....everything looks good. I've set up some time with Benjen after lunch today. We'll come out and measure everything and make sure all is good with taking out those walls. Luckily we have existing blueprints to work from so I don't think there will be any problem. I may poke around in the walls a bit just to make sure everything seems sound. I'll shoot you an e-mail with my initial findings.

The name of one of the sub contractors you plan on using kinda stuck out to me --- you seriously want to do business with those guys? I admit they're the best, but not exactly what I would consider the norm for a lady's bedroom. Oh, well, not my place to question your needs. My people and I will work with them to make sure you get what you want.

 

Talk to you soon,

J.Mormont


	278. Escort Review Theon XXL by GrandMP

Escort's name: TheonXXL  
Location: Winterfell  
Age: early 30s? [tho advertised age 24]  
Orientation: bi  
Height: 6'0"  
Weight: 160 lbs  
Skin colour: white  
Hair colour: brown  
Eye colour: blue/green  
Pubic hair: trimmed  
Chest hair: light  
Penis size: easily 10 inch  
Tattoos: small octopus on inner thigh  
Piercings: no  
Smoking: no  
Condom use: oral (no), penetration (yes)  
Top/bottom/versatile: highly versatile  
Recommended: hell yes

Notes: Actually lives up to the hype. Huge cock, tight ass. Could have gone all night. Will be booking again for sure.


	279. Wanted: People Mover   by NightsKing

Am looking to buy a large van or bus.....possibly more than one......... something to move as many people as possible at one time

Luxury is not necessary, but it does need to be dependable and able to stand up to extreme cold, snow, and ice

Send pics and info on mileage and maintenance history

Do NOT waste my time with junk

The Night's King


	280. RE: Wanted: People Mover by SamT

I have a large van and happy to help. On my way up North so no charge. Van sometimes used to move animal carcasses so smells a bit, hope won't be an issue. Email samwell_oh_well@gmail.com if interested.


	281. RE: To R. by RamFly666

Very cute. Off the computer now. Or else. Before I decide you are indeed a bad boy NOT a sick boy.


	282. RE: Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online By Dr.Q

Dear BastardHater69,

No, it won't work at all. You need to get some help if you are trying to resort to those types of ways to get alcohol in you. If you look on my page there are several things I can sell you to help you detox in a completely painless and intoxicating manner.


	283. RE: MESSAGE FROM THEON GREYJOY by RamFlyr666

I would love to hire you for the night. See to the attached email for what I am offering and what I am looking for. If this suits you, please let me know.

Ramsay


	284. RE: To R. by r

master  
angry?  
been  
a twit?  
worried now   
am in   
big shit?


	285. RE: MESSAGE FROM THEON GREYJOY by Theon_Greyjoy

Nice try, psycho, but I've read the other threads. That poor fucking kid. No idea why the cops aren't all over this shit, but you've clearly paid them off. Get your cock sucked from someone else, preferably not an underage sex slave.

Yours **F** aithf **U** lly 

Theon


	286. Help by arya_underfoot

I'M BEING HELD CAPTIVE A GUY CALLED DAMON I DON'T KNOW HIS LAST NAME PLEASE SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE HE'LL BE BACK ANY SECOND AND I CAN'T MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE HE'S PUT A FUCKING DOG COLLAR ON ME SANSA GENDRY ANYONE READING THIS PLEASE SEND HELP


	287. RE: To R. by RamFly666

If r is bad, then Master is mad

instead of nice soft lunch, r will get rock hard punch

so get that ass back in bed before it becomes pink then red


	288. RE: Security Concerns by Lemon Cake by PrideofthePack

My dear little cub,  
It appears I’ll have something very pleasant to think about on the journey. Thank you for being such a considerate little lady and providing me with such a lovely diverson:strength, impeccable manners, charm and beauty. I have never been so grateful to be able to recognize loveliness where others cannot.  
Of course I will tend to all your security needs. Your safety is of paramount importance to myself and all your lions, as are your treasures. I also believe a new trip to La Perla and Agent Provocateur is in order to replace anything that has been tainted by misuse.   
Having you at the Rock for the summer would be the most splendid of pleasures. My little cub needs to be able to play in the sun, swim and be cherished for the delight that she is. The thought of your fingers on my shoulders is a particular pleasure--my left one has never been the same since King’s Landing and you always make it feel so much better.  
Run along now; you know I do not have a flair for pretty words, but know that your Daddy Tywin is very much looking forward to having a freshly scrubbed, sweet little cub on his lap. 

Your Daddy Tywin


	289. RE: To R. by r

made master mad  
for being wanky  
now master's feeling  
very spanky  
writing this rhyme  
to make him cross  
don't think he should  
be my boss  
don't want to live  
any more  
on top of that  
i'm pretty sore  
master when you read  
these words  
i hope you drown  
in a sea of turds  
and so i say  
my last goodbye  
Ramsay Bolton  
let me die


	290. RE: Help   by LemonCake

Arya,

Knock it off with your games and stop interrupting me when I am TRYING to have alone time with Tywin!

Jon sent everyone a message that he's getting mental help and I can only hope he makes you and our other idiot brother get some, too. I have already told Daddy you won't be home for the foreseeable future, so just try and get your act together and GROW THE FUCK UP!

One more stupid message like this FROM ANY OF YOU, and I am blocking you from my phone AND e-mail. Got it?

Sansa

p.s. I donated all your things to Westeros Good Will and the Mormonts have already started making your room into a sauna. You freaking out and running off was THE best thing you have ever done in your miserable little life.   
AND you can tell our stupid brother, THE KING, that I BURNED his shit and HIS room is being made into a dressing room with floor to ceiling shelves to display my Birkens and all the other gifts I'm given. Tell him to think about THAT the next time he thinks he can give away MY stuff!


	291. RE: Dr. Q MD Medical Advice Online By RamFlyr666

Are you doing housecalls, Dr. Qyburn?

I need to have something removed. I usually do my own home surgeries but this one is a bit complicated.

Please see my email for futher details.

Thank you,

Ramsay Bolton


	292. RE: Help by arya_underfoot by RamFlyr666

Don't worry Arya. I let Damon know you required assistance. He is on his way now. Have a great day!

Love,

Ramsay 


	293. RE: Help by arya_underfoot by Gendry420

Arya! What the fuck? I mean, what did you get yourself into? Okay listen, I am in possession of a new paddle, sold some of my best stuff for it. That is how much you mean to me, girl. So I am paddling as quick as I can, just hang on!

Love,

Gendry


	294. RE: To R. by RamFly666

r,

Death is a no. but alterations can and will be made. You only hurt yourself when I have tried so hard to be reasonable and patient.

I am taking Ben's advice on castrating my dogs for less aggression. Thanks for helping me make that difficult decision, r.


	295. RE: Winterfell Construction Project   by BigBearMormont

Sansa,

During my preliminary inspection of some of the rooms we'll be working with, I noticed what appeared to be some damage to a wall. Upon closer examination, I noticed the stones were loose and when I looked behind them.....well.....I found something I think you need to see for yourself.

Normally I would have already called the sheriff about this, but you all being Starks, that changes things. Benjen plans to lock the room up until you get here.....he says it was the bedroom of the little foster boy that used to live here.... Theon, I think he said his name was.....Grey? Grey-something? Anyway, you should probably get back here to the house as soon as possible. I know you don't want to bother Lord Ned with this.

Call me with any questions

J Mormont


	296. Ben, Just A Quick Question by Ramflyr666

Taking your advice on getting my pup and wolf castrated.

I need some more advice on stopping the puppy from barking and howling. I can't always restrain or muzzle, the vet said so.

The bigger one is still biting but otherwise is actually smarter and behaves better then the little one. Wolf is just sullen and whiny. The little one is a shitty brat that needs so much work, Ben. If castration and a heavier hand don't work, I might consider selling the pup. If this is the route I choose, I hope I can count on you to help me with the adoption process.

Ramsay


	297. Missing My Stag    by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!

Just a super quick note to tell you I hope you're having a wonderful day. Right now I am surrounded by people and they are all talking but I don't care what they're saying because whatever it is, it can't be more important than YOU.

I MAY have done some shopping today......you'll just have to see if I bought anything you'll like. ( wink ) Oh, and that reminds me......I have ordered a present for YOU, too. It's being made so it may not be ready for a while, but something tells me it's gonna be worth the wait. Sort of like how YOU have been worth all the years I've waited to find you.

Missing you and counting down the hours till our trip,

Sansa


	298. RE: Missing My Stag by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

Forgive me for the late reply, I am working extra hard this week to make sure I’ll have peace and quiet this weekend.

I understand what you mean about being surrounded by people but focused only on someone who is not quite within reach…

Your shopping sounds intriguing, and I am curious to see what it is you have ordered for me. Is it a present just for me, or is meant to be shared?

Regarding your previous message about a certain blue leather item that you expressed an interest in, I am willing to purchase you anything you like.

Perhaps I should not be after our phone conversation, but I’m surprised at your enthusiasm - very gratified - but surprised. I don’t think anyone has ever expressed such an interest in spending time with me before.

I confess I am counting the hours, too.

Stannis


	299. RE: Winterfell Construction    by LemonCake

Mr. Mormont,

I am on my way and have already spoken with Uncle Benjen. Thank you for your discretion in this matter, though I would not expect less from you. You have always been loyal to the Starks.

See you soon,

Sansa


	300. EMERGENCY!  by LemonCake

Uncle Petyr,

I have left you a voice mail already, but I need you to call me IMMEDIATELY. Also, you should probably start heading this way. Drive around to the back and meet me in our usual place. All hell is about to break loose.

Sansa


	301. Apologies and Kisses   by LemonCake

Tywin,

I just want to apologize again about having our wonderful afternoon cut short, but now that you've seen the circumstances for yourself, I know you understand. THANK YOU for you advice --- I don't know what I would have done without your unflappable calm.

As you suggested, we've sealed off the room and one of your men is standing watch outside the door. Mormont will keep quiet. Gregor is right outside my door as I write this and Uncle Petyr is on his way and should be here any minute.

I think you're right that we should keep this from Daddy until we are certain what it is we're dealing with.......as you said, that thing could have been in the wall for hundreds of years. But I have a bad feeling that's not going to be the case.

Thank you again for a lovely day.....you remain an island of strength for me in a sea of chaos. Please give my love to Ser Jamie and Lady Cersei and let them know I am thinking of them and holding onto the fact that we will all be together for the summer. And I LOVE all of my beautiful new things. Honestly, you DO spoil me!

Your Little Cub,

Sansa


	302. RE: EMERGENCY   by TheMockingbird

Am pulling around back right now. Ditch Gregor and meet me.

P


	303. Job Offer   by LadyRose

Mr. Greyjoy,

Your name was given to me by my brother. He's apparently seen your work and is a fan. One of my dearest friends is going through a rough patch right now, family troubles, etc. I want to cheer her up with a little party and I want YOU to provide the entertainment. 

This will require you to come to the North, but the money will be more than enough to make it worth your trouble. Attached you will find the date of the party and various other details, as well as transportation and accommodation arrangements for your stay. Call the number and speak with the man who answers. He'll arrange to have half the money wired to your account immediately......you'll get the other half after you've made my friend smile.

I look forward to meeting you,

Margaery Tyrell of Highgarden


	304. RE: Wanted: People Mover by RamFlyr666

Really? How intriguing and can I ask how many folks you plan on transporting? Or is it for wolves, perhaps? I am not stupid and you have certainly used up your five minutes, haven't you? Go ahead, respond. Think carefully what you say back as it might just affect your night.


	305. RE: Wanted : People Mover    by TheNightsKing

I don't know who you are nor do I care. You obviously have me confused with someone else. Unless you have a vehicle for sale that would fit my needs, I suggest you refrain from contacting me again.

The Night's King


	306. Devastated   by Lemoncake

Stannis,

I know you're in a meeting right now so I can't call you......but I so desperately need to hear your voice right now. As I mentioned, we are having some work done here at Winterfell, converting some vacant bedrooms into part of my suite. Today our contractor came out to do an initial inspection and found something....something inside one of the walls. Human remains.

Fortunately he's loyal to the Starks and immediately got in touch with me while Uncle Benjen sealed off the room and kept everyone away. Mr. Mormont won't say a word, but I couldn't just leave a body in the walls!!

A friend of mine and my Uncle Petyr have really taken care of everything. They had it removed and taken away to be disposed of, hopefully with some dignity, but I honestly don't care at this point. I just want it out of my home. And of course the nagging question is, how did it get in that wall in the first place?

The men are all trying to tell me it could have been there for centuries, and given the age of Winterfell, that's a possibility. But I SAW it, Stannis. It didn't look like it had been there for centuries.....a few years, maybe, but not CENTURIES. Its clothing, if it had been wearing any, were long gone....and that may be the best proof that the body was walled up long before my siblings and I were born. I WANT that to be true. I NEED that to be true.

Right now the plan is to pretend nothing happened. No body, no questions. Construction will continue as planned, no questions will be asked. Or answered. Acting on advice, I've decided to keep it from Daddy for now. There's nothing he can do about it and it would only add to the burdens he's already under. Between my mother's drinking and now three of my siblings suddenly leaving home, he has enough on his plate.

I received a strange message from my half-brother Jon today, saying he's realized he has a problem and has checked himself into some kind of mental hospital. I THINK my brother Robb and sister Arya are with him. I can only hope so. I fear they've all been living a kind of "folie a deux" between them all....maybe a "folie a trois".

Honestly, REASON tells me I should stay here at Winterfell this weekend and take care of things, but I feel if I don't get to see you and go sailing with you I might lose my mind. And break my heart.

Please call or write me when you get this, Stannis. I'm so sorry to dump all of this on you, but I honestly don't have anyone else I can trust the way I trust you.

Your Sansa


	307. RE: Devastated by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I will call you as soon as I can.

Are you certain that the authorities should not be alerted? This seems like the sort of thing that ought to be investigated by the proper people. If you do not wish to alert the police, I can recommend an excellent private investigator who can handle matters discreetly.

If you wish it, I could come up to Winterfell instead of you visiting me in King’s Landing? The sailing lesson will keep for another time. Perhaps that way reason might be satisfied, and I might be able to help shoulder some of your burdens?

Let’s discuss it over the phone. I should be able to get free in half an hour or so.

Stannis


	308. Spot on Starks by RamFlyr666

I am so glad to see you making use of your computer time. I am on to you and I suggest you not send anymore messages like this or you won't HAVE the gracious amount of time I have been offering to you.

I give things for good behavior. You know what I will do for bad behavior. So now....you will respond to me and I expect a good response. Make it good, make it amuse me or please me or else you will lose more than computer time.

Ramsay


	309. RE: Apologies and Kisses by LemonCake by PrideofthePack

My Little Cub,

I understand completely and I am glad to be of service to you. Know that it is my honor to help you through this difficult time by any means that I can. Take comfort in the fact that you have friends all around you and we all want this time to be as peaceful as it can be. I am certain it will pass over quickly and my little cub will soon be smiling again (with her sharp little teeth.). The thought of that makes me smile.

At this time I urge you to keep Gregor and your guards with you at all times. We do not know the full extent of this situation and I will not have your safety compromised. You can rely on Gregor and my men for absolute obedience, silence and loyalty. If you require even more silence and discretion, I will even send Ser Illyn Payne.

We take care of our own, little cub.

Keep your Sig Sauer at the ready. Keep a knife on your person at all times until this crisis is fully passed. (Your new pretty things can easily accommodate a blade or an arm or thigh holster for a blade or a gun. I made certain of it when I had them ordered.)   
My little cub needs her claws and fangs right now as well as her loveliness.

Keep being a brave cub. We’ll see you before the summer but if you need tranquility during this time, think our beautiful summer to come, of lying in the sun near the Rock, enjoying the warmth and a few new pretty things. 

Keep one hand on your weapon, your wits about you and keep in your mind that your Pride is with you.  
Call immediately if you have need of me, Jaime or Cersei. Do not hesitate.

Your Daddy Tywin  
PS. It is my delight to spoil you, sweetling. I’ve also passed on your message to the twins and they send their love.


	310. RE: To R. by RamFly666

oh dear, is my little pup out of rhymes now? are you ready to behave?


	311. Where Is Everyone?  by Bran-doll

Where is everyone? 

I'm out of Doritos and there is no coke in the fridge. And WTF is all that banging coming from upstairs? It sounds like someone is breaking down the walls. I'd go up and check, but that would mean having to talk to Robb. Not worth the aggro. But this is not cool, people. I just had an epic Starcraft battle with some Korean guys and it nearly threw me off my game. (Didn't, of course. They thought I was a noob. I schooled 'em when I unleashed my Zerg Queens in the endgame. Haha. Professional players, my ass.) 

Oh well, at least Rickon is laying off the music.

I need a change of pace. Jon, Arya, are we on for Call of Duty tonight? Jon, can you pick me up some munchies on your way over? And Arya, I need coke. Both kinds, if it isn't too much trouble.

Love you guys, looking forward to seeing you.

Bran-doll


	312. RE: Wanted: People Mover  by TheNightsKing

RAMFLYR666,

 

On reviewing your previous posts, I now understand the context of your inquiry. Please be assured that I am not an animal rights organization and I have no interest in your pets in their current state. I do offer certain business services regarding the disposal of deceased pets. No job is too large or too messy. I will pay for specimens in good condition. Absolute discretion.

Please keep me in mind for ... all ... your disposal needs.

The Night's King


	313. Spot on Starks by JoinSoon

fuck you rmsay! i’m not exusing myself to ou. specially not for somthing i didnt do! you ct of my fucking fingers, yo killed my brother, tormented rickon and wont tell me wat happend to my sistr! who would i write and how wuld i manage when m head is in constant fog after you beatings!!!!


	314. RE: Devasted   by LemonCake

Stannis,

I'm following your orders and have taken a hot bath and am ready for bed, but first I wanted to tell you good night and to thank you again.

You will never know --- because I hope you are never in such a desperate place TO know --- what hearing your voice tonight meant to me. I have people around me who love and protect me, but there is something about YOU that makes me feel safer than I've ever felt before. Maybe because you are the first man that I can remember who has never asked anything of me, made no demands.....just wanted to give.

My heart was set on spending two days on the water with you, just the two of us with no one else around for miles.....no crazy texts or phone calls, no family drama, no skeletons in the closet. ( Sorry. That isn't really funny, is it? ) But the more I think about it, the more I think you're right that we should spend the weekend here at Winterfell.

Privacy shouldn't be a problem, we have an entire wing to ourselves now and you would never know the rest of the family is here most of the time. We can go for long walks in the woods and you can meet Lady. And MAYBE, if you're VERY, VERY good......I'll give you some surprises. ( wink )

Security is tight now --- Gregor Clegane and his team will be here and of course Jory and his men will be in place. But I think you're wise to bring your own security team, as well as Mr. Seaworth. I'm not sure a private investigator can really help at this point, but he certainly can't hurt. I have already told the staff that we'll be having more guests so don't worry about accommodations for your men. 

I guess I should tell you now that I will also be carrying a weapon. I keep a handgun with me at all times, as well as a knife. I have learned the hard way that NO PLACE is truly safe in this world. I'm sure you'll be bringing your own personal weapons yourself, but if you weren't, I would urge you to rethink that decision. We may be surrounded by bodyguards, but I still like knowing we can defend ourselves if need be.

Do you think you'll be able to leave Kings Landing early on Friday? I know I'm being childish, but I don't want to be robbed of a single minute with you. Let me know when you should be landing and I'll be at the air strip with cars ready to bring everyone back here.

Call me tomorrow when you get a chance, please.

I love you, Stannis Baratheon.

Your Sansa


	315. Spot on Starks by RamFlyr666

Not very smart of you, boy. The vet is coming tomorrow to castrate a puppy...I am thinking of having him castrate my dog too. What do you think of that? I'll tell you what....if you write me a very nice apology...I will tell you where another runt is....


	316. RE: Wanted: People Mover by RamFlyr666

Thank you, I may need your services soon. I will let you know.

Ramsay Bolton


	317. Where Is Everyone? by CantWaitToBeKing

Hey Bran, buddy

I know it's been a long time since we last talked, and actually I'm not at home now either, as I'm at the Bolton's. You might have heard about Jon and his situation. In fact it was Mr. Bolton who was so kind as to help him in his time of need. Arya and I drove to the Dreadfort Arms as soon as we heard what had happened. As Jon was dealt with, Mr. Bolton offered us to stay over for the night. 

I got to talk to a boy here, around your age, who mentioned some important tournament at Clutch Con, which he is attending, and he asked if you were interested in joining him?

The Bolton's are very generous, so Arya and I are staying here for a day or two. If you want the chance to join the tournament, I can have a car come pick you up this evening. Let me know, bro.

Robb.

Ps. Tell Dad that Arya and I are both fine. 


	318. WASSUP?  by Bran-doll

Yo, Three Eyed Crow....wassup?

Things are dead here. My sibs are all AWOL and I'm so bored that I'm tempted to go wack off in Sansa's underwear drawer again. Do you and the Children have any special projects on the go? That infidelity website thing was a hoot, although I still gotta say sorry to my dad next time I see him. 

I need something to do to kill time while I wait for someone to bring me Doritos.

Bran-doll


	319. Spot on Starks by JoinSoon

plese.... im sorry, i didn't mean to write that. ... im so tired an in pain... im sorry ill behave. i promisd please tell me where m sister is. can i see her? i need to see her...


	320. RE: Devastated by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I’m glad you decided to take that bath I suggested, it sounded like you needed it. I’m even more pleased to hear you feel safe with me. I intent to protect you the way you deserve to protected and cherished.

Going out on the water would have been an enjoyable escape, but as I said before, the sailing lesson will keep for a better, more convenient time.

I’ll be arriving at three in the afternoon on Friday. I’ll bring Davos Seaworth, Rolland Storm and Justin Massey with me.

Don’t worry about weapons. I am extensively trained in hand-to-hand combat after my stint in the Navy, and I always keep a handgun nearby. (King’s Landing is not really the safest place in the world, especially if one needs to pass through Fleabottom on a regular basis.)

I will call you as soon as I get the chance tomorrow, I swear it.

Sleep well my precious girl.

Stannis


	321. Change of Plans   by LemonCake

Uncle Petyr,

There's been a change in plans ---instead of my going to KL Friday, Stannis is coming here for the weekend. The good news for YOU is that means I have the PERFECT excuse to wave off Aunt Lysa. She's been pestering me to come for the past month and I know it's just to drool all over you. Did you know she was hitting on some on-line medical quack earlier today? Pa-thetic. Now I know where Robb gets it. LOL

I can't think you enough for stepping in and taking care of everything earlier. I don't know what I would have done if you and Tywin hadn't been here. I don't want to know details, but I am assuming the "problem" has been taken care of?

It's sort of creepy having Gregor Clegane right outside my bedroom door. Jory and Uncle Benjen were both fit to be tied when they saw him, but they'll get over it. He may be a monster, but for now, he's MY monster.

I'll see you tomorrow morning first thing,

Sansa


	322. King of the Idiots   by Bran-doll

Nice try Rubb-My-Ass. I'm sure you'd get your friends the Boltons to send me off to a Wilderness Youth Camp. Probably fundamentalist followers of the Seven. I'd be going for runs and eating nuts and berries. Getting my ass flogged. There's a reason I haven't left the house in three years. 

Stop bullying Jon and Arya and bring them home. Take them via the store so they can get me some munchies. If I have to make Sansa fetch my fucking Doritos, it is NOT going to be pretty. 

 

Bran-doll


	323. Spot on Starks by RamFlyr666

Much better, good boy. The person you need to speak with if you want to visit her is Damon. You remember him, don't you? He is rather good at dog training according to Ben. You remember his handle, DanceForMe, don't you? And you remember WHY he is called that?

So I suggest you ask him very kindly for any answers on your missing pack member. As for the other little runt, he is having some behavioral issues. Once he gets over them I will allow a visit, provided you are behaving yourself and being a good boy. Understood?


	324. RE: Change of Plans   by TheMockingbird

Sweetling,

Don't give the "problem" another thought. It's all been taken care of, and your delicate little hands remain clean.

Don't get too comfortable around Clegane ---Tywin may have him on a leash, but he's still dangerous. You know how to handle yourself.

And DON'T let Stannis out of your sight this weekend. I know you think you love him, but he's a dangerous man and could upset a lot of plans if he were to get suspicious. Just enjoy yourselves and keep close to the house.

And be careful how much you tell Tywin. Sometimes I don't think you realize the kind of power he wields and if he thinks you're in danger, he could start burning villages --- and villagers.

Now that I've given you my list of things NOT to do.....here's something you CAN do --- get some sleep. Even gorgeous girls like you can get dark circles under their eyes and we wouldn't want that, would we?

Have you heard from Roose Bolton today? You may want to touch base with him.....something is going on with that creepy son of his.

I'll see you in the morning,

Petyr


	325. Lemon Cake Forgive My Lack Of Response by RooseTheMoose

My dear please forgive my absence recently. My son has been unruly and I had to sort him out. I am looking forward to our lemoncake date tomorrow. I shall be there and am comfortable with your company joining you.

Yours Truly,

Roose Bolon


	326. RE:  Hi Mr. Bolton   by LemonCake

Hi Mr. Bolton,

I was just sitting here wishing I had a lemon cake and naturally that made me think of you. I hope you had a good day. Parts of mine were magical, other parts were from a nightmare. But at least it's over now, right?

Are we still on for Thursday afternoon? I hope so, as I am really looking forward to it. As I said, I'll probably have guards with me, but even they can't stop a girl from enjoying a lemon cake and a cup of coffee, can they?

Hope to hear from you soon,

Sansa Stark


	327. For damon by jon

For damon

ramsay told me to writ you... uo know where my sister is. is she ok? can i se her? he allowe a visit, pleas let me se her....

j


	328. RE: Apologies and Kisses   by LemonCake

DaddyTwin,

I am sitting here all alone in my big bed, thinking about the beautiful dream that was this day --- until it turned into a nightmare. I know I'm being a brat, but I hardly EVER get to spend time with you and the twins and the ONE day we have together, skeletons literally start falling out of the closet.

I'm wearing some of my new pretties you bought me......and thank you for the special locks for my drawers. That should make a HUGE difference until we can get the new closet and dressing room built. It's SO sick....you'll never know what it's like to find your La Perla profaned by what looks like a mixture of old glue and orange chip crumbs. Ugh! I get dizzy just thinking about it.

Gregor is outside my door and my gun is under my pillow --- the only thing that would make me feel safer is if my Great Lion was curled up here next to me.

I'll be awake for a while if you want to chat, Daddy.

Your frisky little cub


	329. For LemonPie by CantWaitToBeKing

Sansa, dearest

I've got a problem concerning Bran, that I thought your wit and ladies charm might be able to handle for me?

Bran might have told you, or he might not, but I'm with Arya near the Dreadfort Arms. After we helped Jon, we stayed in the area. There's a boy here, slighty related to Bolton's, with an offer for Bran. This could help strengthen our relations with the Bolton's.

Could you help me out and convince Bran to come? I'll send a car for him. Afterall, you are my favorite sister. 

Robb.

 


	330. RE: LemonCake Forgive My Lack of Response   by LemonCake

No worries, Mr. B!

I'm just excited to see you and wanted to make sure you're still looking forward to seeing me. It's been at least a year since you've been out to the house to see Daddy. I know you are both so busy, but I've missed seeing you.

Have I ever told you that I used to wait by the door when I knew you were invited? That's because I wanted to walk you to Daddy's study myself and not take the risk of one of Daddy's men or one of my siblings doing it. I used to wonder why, and now that I'm a little older I think I may have had a bit of a crush on you.

I can see why 15-year old Sansa would have liked you --- you were one of the few males who actually looked me in the eyes when you spoke to me, and you always smiled that sweet, small smile whenever I asked how you were...... your voice so soft when you would ask me how I was enjoying school.

Well, that enough reminiscing for now. Now you simply MUST tell me what I can bring YOU tomorrow when we meet. After all, you're playing host and offering me cakes and coffee, the least I can do is bring you something in return. If you were a lady I'd bring flowers, but I'm not at all sure what I should bring a man like you. Is there something you'd like, something I can give you that would make you happy?

I'll be waiting to hear from you. I hope your troubles with your son are sorted --- trust me, I know how trying family can be.

Sansa


	331. RE: For damon by DamonDamonForMe

Jon,

Are you talking about my new puppy? She is not ready for visits as she is being punished for doing something without permission. However, since Ramsay did mention how much more behaved his wolf is being....and asked that I allow contact as a reward...you may speak with her here. I will allow her to send you a message. Once she has learned to behave, not touch things without permission and stops chewing on things that she shouldn't, I will allow a play date.

Damon


	332. RE: For damon by jon

 

No i need to se her!! ramsay said i could see her! and dont hurt her!

Pleas i need to se shes ok


	333. RE: For Lemon Pie   by LemonCake

Hey, Loser!

You must have found some good drugs. They have made you forget that I wouldn't PISS on you if you were on fire. In fact, I'd douse you in gasoline and dance around the flames with my coven of witches.

As I have already told Milk Carton Boy and Lady Ringworm, if you losers don't stop calling and texting me, I am going to block you. As far as Daddy and I are concerned, you all are gone and are never coming back. It's called GOOD riddance to BAD rubbish!!!

If you want Bran or Rickon either one, you are more than welcome to them. Hell, take them BOTH. All you need to offer Rickon is candy and Bran would literally blow Uncle Robert for a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's done worse than THAT. Too bad you've done nothing but bully him his entire life. Bran might be the only person on the planet who hates you more than *I* do. Did I ever tell you about the time we planned to lock you in the basement and make you eat dog food out of a bowl and shit in the corner? It would have worked, too, if mom hadn't started hiding her booze down there.

I'm not sure if Arya got around to mentioning it, IF you crazies are allowed to communicate in between electro shock and ice baths....but the contractors are already at work converting all your bedrooms into MY master suite. Because I only loathe and despise THEM, I donated all of their personal possessions to Good Will. But for YOUR crap....let's just say I played with matches. It's rather alarming just how combustible dozens of bottles of Axe Body Spray can be. And all your porn? bu-bye!

Let me know if you need anything or run out of cash ---- so I can LAUGH! I had Benjen meet with the lawyers and accountants this morning --- you guys are officially CUT OFF!

Nice chatting with you, big brother!

Sweet Sansa


	334. RE: WASSUP?   by ThreeEyedCrow

Bran-doll, good to hear from you. 

There are some interesting developments in your neck of the woods, as a matter of fact. Some old friends are in town. So far I'm just watching. I don't have a specific project in mind, but I'm always open to creating chaos. Let's put our heads together.

Thanks for those wonderful videos of your sister. I had to run facial-recognition software to identify all the participants. She has quite the impressive ... set of contacts.


	335. RE: For damon by DamonDanceForMe

Watch your tone with me, little buddy. I will talk it over with Ramsay.

If the little bitch can behave herself, we can work something out. I can assure you she is perfectly fine. Well fed, even saw the vet the other day, got a check up. She is full of energy and working on focusing all that energy on training instead of fighting. Don't want that all messed up over an overemotional barking wolf, you hear me? I will get some promises on restrictions on this visit. In the meantime, go ahead and send a message to her. I will let her read it and respond.

Damon


	336. RE: Apologies and Kisses by LemonCake by PrideofthePack

Dearest Little Cub,  
It’s quite all right for you to be upset. You’ve had a nasty shock and handled it very bravely. I’m disappointed that our day was cut short, but rest assured, our Pride will be with you soon and we won’t let anything in or out of any walls spoil our fun. We'll be sure to have you for several days so we can enjoy ourselves at leisure.  
I’m glad to know the locks are working well for you. I’m certain they’ll prevent any future unpleasant occurrences. I myself will go to any lengths to ensure that your pretty things remain undisturbed and that you are free of any vulgarities.  
(You know your Pride will go to any lengths to ensure you are safe and undisturbed. Know this. You already know I do not promise these things lightly.)  
I am glad to hear you are well armed and that Gregor is at your door; happier still to hear that my little cub is enjoying some of her pretty treats. I do enjoy hearing my little cub is a bit playful again; we have been too bereft of your smiles. I am also certain that you are a vision of loveliness.

Your Great Lion wishes he were beside you too. I and the Pride will see you through this. 

I’d be delighted to talk. You know how much your Daddy loves your voice even when you’re a naughty minx. Especially when you are a naughty minx. I look forward to hearing from you, lovely little cub.

Daddy Tywin


	337. For Arya by jon

arya this is jon.

Are yuo ok? did he hurt yo? Please tell me if youre ok. Im so sorry for causing this, this wasnt supposed to happen. do you know where you are? I promise ill come get you soon little sis, and i'll bring you home. im doing my best to get out of here so i can come for you. you have my word Be careful

hugs and kisses

jon


	338. Beware the Dorito Fairy   by LemonCake

Bran,

Just thought I'd warn you that Meathead.....aka our fave brother Robb.......sent me some jacked-up message about wanting me to get you to meet him at some motel with the Boltons or some such nonsense.

You can take three guesses what I told him.....but I thought I'd give you the heads up in case he tries anything. That guy that's as big as a Mountain is standing outside my bedroom door, armed to the teeth, so if you need me for anything, I suggest you call or text rather than stop by my room.

Ohh.....I meant to tell you earlier and I forgot. I am officially THE best sister in the world. If you look in the fridge beneath the bar in the den, you'll find a six-pack of cold coke chillin'. AND if you look in the pantry behind the hidden shelf where mom hides her Vodka bottles, you'll see two family-sized bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos. Sorry....they were out of Cool Ranch.

Why is Rickon so quiet tonight? You don't think he got into mom's valium again, do you?

Later,  
Sansa


	339. RE: For Arya by DamonDanceForMe

You just lost your chance to visit your sister, buddy. She won't be reading this bullshit. Send a real message I can show her or don't send anything.

I made sure to send a copy of this to Ramsay. I'd hide now if I were you. You are allowed to have her leave you a message here and that is all.

Until you and she learn how to be good loyal fucking pets!

You are lucky its Ramsay and not me, because my whip would love to see you dance!

Damon


	340. RE: For Arya by RamFlyr666

Jon,

I am not amused or pleased by this at all. Damon is very upset and so is your sister who was told she was getting a message from you today. Imagine her disappointment when she was ordered not to read her letter from you. Do you think she cried and that made Damon have to discipline her? After all, he was very angry with what you did and his temper would be short. Why do you cause such pain for yourself and others? It really wasn't fair to your poor sister, was it?

Also, I was quite fair with my allowing you so much freedom with the computer. For good behavior I rewarded you with allowing you contact with your sister. A visit even. How did you repay me for that? So I ask you...how should I repay YOU for it? Enjoy the wait until I come for you, boy. I am on my way home and that room you are in doesn't offer much in the way of hiding. If I were you, which I am not thank gods, I would weep if I were as stupid as you...but if I were you...I would start getting practice groveling.

One more small thing, the vet comes today. Don't worry about it though, I am going to give you enough to worry about just as soon as I turn two more blocks. 

See you very soon, pet.

Ramsay


	341. RE: Beware the Dorito Fairy   by Bran-doll

Oh my sweet sister Sansa, how I adore you. You are my Luthien; my Kerrigan. I am feasting on Doritos and coke. 

No problemo re the dude with the gun. He leaves me alone, and I'll leave him alone. I found one of Arya's stashes in the rec room, and I'm so gouched that I probably couldn't even crawl up the stairs right now. Like, man, am I smacked. I wonder what those pills were?

I was kinda worried about Jon and Arya earlier, but then I found some messages where Jon was talking to a guy about a puppy. Puppies are awesome! All that licking and soft fur. Glad they are having a good time.

I need to go to bed. 

Love you, Sister Dorito Fairy. 

Bran-doll


	342. To LemonCake by RooseTheMoose

Dearest Sansa,

Forgive me, my son needed my expertise another time and I was bereft that I could not write you straight away! I am so looking forward to our meeting tomorrow. I am thrilled to even think of your lovely lips and tongue tasting the sweet tartness of my cakes. There is nothing like it anywhere else. My darling girl, the only gift I wish from you is to sit with you and watch you enjoy yourself. Please, dress anyway you wish, act only as yourself and allow me to pamper you with unique but simple pleasures. This meeting is all about seeing the pleasure glow upon your face.

Yours Truly, 

Roose


	343. RE: To Lemon Cake    by LemonCake

Dear Roose, ( it still feels strange to call you that )

I hope I'm not being a pest while you have your hands full with your son. 

If you're POSITIVE I can't bring you anything tomorrow, then I suppose I will have to show up empty handed. But I am going to keep thinking and maybe I will come up with a surprise for you after all.

Speaking of strange family members, I received a message earlier this evening from my older brother Robb. I have been led to believe he, our brother Jon, and sister Arya have all checked into a mental health facility. To be perfectly honest, I could not be happier. Daddy has already cut them from the Will and contractors have started converting their former bedrooms into an expansion of my personal suite. I have told all of them that if they attempt to contact me again, I will block them. BUT, still I received a strange message from Robb. He acted as if he didn't really even know me, he kept calling me "Lemon Pie" instead of Lemon Cake and he acted as if we were close. We have NEVER been close.

ANYWAY, one of the strangest parts of the message was he started talking about YOU, or your family at least. He wanted me to send my younger brother Bran to the Dreadfort Arms.......something about a young relative of yours and how it would create an alliance between our families. VERY strange, especially when you consider there IS an alliance between our families and always will be as long as I am the heir to Winterfell.

Forgive me for bothering you with this silly story. My brother really must be terribly, terribly troubled. It's probably for the best he's not one of us anymore.

Well, guess I'd better get to bed. I mean sleep. I'm already IN bed. LOL

I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, Roose.

Sansa Stark


	344. RE: Beware the Dorito Fairy  by LemonCake

Bran,

Do you really think it's a good idea to take strange pills and pass out when Robb is trying to get you out of the house? I've tightened security, but it's still a risk. You need to get upstairs and into your bed ASAP! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. 

I swear, I love you, but sometimes you almost act as stupid as the rest of them.

If I don't hear that you're in bed --- with your door LOCKED --- in the next five minutes, I'm sending Jory to CARRY you to bed.

Sansa


	345. RE: Beware the Dorito Fairy  by Bran-doll

Whoa, oh no! Thanks San-Sparkles! 

I flipped on some extra protections before I went to bed -- little surprises some friends and I have been working on. No reeducation with Robb's Sparrow friends for me. And I'm kinda worried about some big-ass spiders that started appearing in the basement. I think they were coming for me. Spiders everywhere, man!

Arya needs to put labels on this stuff.


	346. Damon I need your assistance by SpearMe

 

Yo, Damon, I need your help.

I'm having a hell of a time trying to lure the Stark brat to Dreadfort Arms, but he doesn't rise to the bait man.

His sister ain't any help either, although she does seem rather fond of playing Bolton's game, if you know what i mean. 

Are any of your men free and up for helping me on this, collecting the brat at casa Stark?

 

Cheers,

Luton


	347. [Blocked Content]

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	348. Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by LorAss

Shit did anyone just see that post?? It's just been deleted but what the fuck was that??


	349. RE: Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by Theon_Greyjoy

Huh?? What post??


	350. RE: Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by LorAss

Theon_Greyjoy it was the most fucking freaky post you've ever seen!! Someone had posted a gif and it was from a horror movie or something. But then there was a fucking photo and it seriously looked like me in the photo. I mean, it seriously was me. I am fucking freaked out right now. It was posted by 'SamT' - have you come across this dude before? Is it some frat boy having a joke? I am fucking freaked out.


	351. [Blocked Content]

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	352. RE: Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by Theon_Greyjoy

Fucking Gods I've just seen it. It's just been deleted again. I have no idea what you look like, dude, but unless you have brown hair, sea-green eyes and a fucking aquiline nose then I am pretty certain it was ME in the fucking photo. Oh my Gods, dude, I am shitting myself now.

Is this some kind of crazy joke you're pulling???

LorAss ... I recognise that name. You're an escort right? Are you trying to kill my mojo for the awards tonight?? You're that kid trying to break on the scene and steal all my clients? You fucking prick. I'll kill you for this.


	353. RE: Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by LorAss

Theon_Greyjoy I am seriously not pulling anything right now. Though you're right - I'm an escort & I have to say that I love your work, especially your movie, Fill My Krak. But seriously I am *not* joking with all of this. Who is this SamT dude?? Have you come across him before ... OK so I'm reading through some of the threads right now and ... Who the hell is SamT?? I'm really seriously scared right now ... Did you notice that the Gilly girl posted and then nothing?? That is some seriously weird stuff ... OK I'm calling the cops right now, I swear to Gods that video looked real. It was fucking awful. Did you think it looked real?? It did, though, didn't it??


	354. RE: Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by Theon_Greyjoy

LorAss OK dude thanks so much for the compliment, I'm pretty proud of that movie I have to say. 

Look, don't sweat it over the SamT thing. I'm totally used to people playing shit like this, and it's just some kid somewhere making himself shit his pants laughing. Just don't sweat it, OK? No need to panic at all. I've contacted the site administrators but one thing I'd note is that it is NOT a good idea to call the cops. I've been advertising on this site & even got a review - really don't need the cops sniffing around me, OK? But I've reported this SamT guy and, from the looks of other threads, the cops are already on his ass. So, no need for us to get involved in that front, OK?

Dude, I'm just looking at your profile on HotBoyz now. I have to say that you are one seriously hot boy. Tempted to make a booking myself. ; -) Can't see any movies on your profile - am looking for a new bottom, fancy teaming up?


	355. RE: Did Anyone Just See That Post?? by LorAss

Theon_Greyjoy OK so I won't get too worried about it. I'm still feeling pretty freaked but I guess you're right.

On the movie thing? Sure thing!! That would be awesome!! If this doesn't sound too creepy, I've been a big fan of your work for some time now. So, yeah, that would be amazing to hook up. Let's talk later. Got a booking now but will contact later. Have a good one.

L


	356. RE: Did Anyone See That Post?? by Theon_Greyjoy

Ok it's a date - will contact via profile to set up. 

Got a booking now too - prob bad idea before the awards tonight but can't resist! The guy is pretty hot - sent a photo & wow. Long black hair & the fullest lips I've ever seen on a dude. Ought to be an escort. Goes by the handle TheRam - hope that's a ref either to his fucking technique or that he's got a great 'butt'! ; -) If he comes your way I can recommend already. Contacted me on HotBoyz so obviously making his way through the scene.

Anyway, gotta go - speak later.

T


	357. Careful, Brother Dead  by LadyRose

Loras,

Or should I say LorASS?

You might want to be a little more discreet with some of the conversations you're having. Dad may not be smart enough to turn on the computer by himself, but Willas AND Grandmother are known to prowl the net in the wee morning hours and I am pretty sure Grandmother has put trackers on ALL of us. PLUS....if you stand ANY chance of getting back with Renly, you'd better lay low.

That said, that Greyjoy kid IS pretty cute --- I've hired him to perform at a party for poor little Sansa. If that doesn't put a smile on her face, i"m not sure what will. Seriously......we need to fix her up with someone her own age. Are you SURE you can't fake it? All cats are grey in the dark, ya know, and she is into some pretty interesting stuff I think.

Speaking of Willas --- have you seen him lately? He keeps disappearing for HOURS at a time and I can't find him ANYWHERE. Weird. REALLY weird.

Later,

Margie


	358. RE: Damon I need your assistance byDamonDanceForMe

Skinner and Alyn and Locke are on their way to help you out. Hope its sufficient...if not tell me, I will come down. Got a new bitch and she is a handful, she behaves when I am with her...but tends to be a bit of a sneak and escape artist if I leave her alone. 


	359. RE: To Lemon Cake by RooseTheMoose

My sweet girl,

How dare anyone trouble you! To taunt you with fake emails when you have clearly tried so hard to help your siblings, then forced to let them go, how truly evil of someone! I promise I will have my son Ramsay look into this for you immediately. 

This person couldn't have been very smart, to have gotten your lovely and unique handle all wrong like that. Also, silly considering that you are the obvious heir to Winterfell and of course the Boltons are as always, faithful allies to the family.

I know you are quite safe, I also have made sure that you will be very safe during our visit. No one will touch you as long as I am around. In fact, I have been in touch with the Lannisters to ensure that "our" sunshine that glows through our darker lives will remain safe and precious to us all.

However, I am concerned that your brother Bran might not be as safe. After all, he does not have your connections nor your winning ways. It bothers me that you must be forced to care for a younger sibling when you are so young and important in so many other ways.

Perhaps I can help in this matter, having a bit of a wild son myself, I am sure you and I can discuss options. He is so very young and impressionable, Sansa. And if I might be frank, not one of your siblings had your smarts. Thank goodness, your father has you to help him make critical decisions about family when he is always busy with work.

You have tried so hard to be a good example for your siblings, but you can only do so much. I am eager to discuss with you many options for your sibling problem. Most of all, I wish to make you smile and squirm with delight over my lemon cakes.

Looking forward to our meeting today more than anything else,

Truly,

Roose Bolton


	360. RE: Damon i need your assistance by SpearMe

Thanks man, owe you

Tell them to park away from the house though. Apparently the chick has ordered guards in the house. Bran just turned of the light in his room, and the moron left his window open. Man, this is gonna be piece of cake.

Luton


	361. RE: To R. by r

made master mad

for being silly

now master says

he'll take my willy

don't know how 

i even dare?

as if i even

fucking care

lost three fingers

and now my toes

got half an ear

but still my nose

master says i'm

looking pretty

got to say i'm

feeling shitty

will push & push

so slit my throat

The Ram's your man?

more like a goat

 


	362. RE: Damon I need your assistance byDamonDanceForMe

no problem, mate. be careful though. he is a stupid but wily one.


	363. RE: To R. by RamFly666

all i asked was for you to behave, but you act like you were raised in a cave.

i tried being kind, then i tried beating your behind.

then i beat your sides and your front, for being such a cunt.

you have been kept in the dark, you aren't very smart.

here is a clue, it isn't all about just you.

you should wonder if you are alone, haven't you heard any familiar moans?

want to see other members of your pack?

i have one that is a sad sack. the other is a female runt, also sometimes known to be a cunt.

want to see them? then you should shape up, before I stop just taking pieces and make you into a REAL pup. 

think i don't have the money for such a surgery? try me.


	364. RE: For R. by r

master please

i beg you this

don't smack my ass

give it a kiss

you think i care

about those fucks?

just give my cock

a last few sucks

can't help these words

can't even stop them

been diagnosed

with mental problems

you think i want

to lose my junk?

my dad don't care

my mom's a drunk

it made me wrong

it fucked my head

all i want now

is to wake up dead

and you

you cunt

you fucking want it

why else let me

on your

tablet?


	365. WTF, Bran?  by LemonCake

Bran...

What the HELL was all that screaming I heard coming from your end of the wing? It sounded like someone dying and then all I could smell was burning hair and flesh! Have you been electrifying your doors and windows again? Dammit.....Daddy warned you about that after you nearly killed Old Nan!

Gregor is itching to shoot something, so I would chill the fuck out if I were you. Oh, damn.....Jory is calling and apparently has set the wolves loose. Looks like we may have intruders on the grounds.

Sansa


	366. RE: WTF? Bran   by Bran-doll

No worries, my Luthien,

I think a badger or something just tried to crawl thru my window --- must have left it open to let the weed smell out. Poor little guy got 10k volts --- pretty sure he's dead. From the sounds of the scream and the burning smell, I am pretty sure he's dead. Poor little badger.

Tell that wall of meat and muscle to chill --- don't let him shoot Nan, for gods sakes.....you KNOW how she can wander around at night. OR mom. 

Great.....now you sent guard to MY room? What the hell, Sansa? you think this is Gitmo or somethin'? Shit -- did you hear that? I think the wolves have someone treed! OMG! 

I am NEVER taking Arya's "mystery" pills again --- this shit is WAY too intense right now to be high!

Bran


	367. Intruders!   by LemonCake

Uncle Petyr!

Jory says a carload of what he thinks were crackheads apparently made it onto the perimeters of the property.......the security lights came on and they loosed the wolves. I think one of the wolves may have really hurt one of them ---- do I need to worry about property liability right now? I REALLY don't want another claim after what happened last Spring.

Bran has apparently set up some kind of MacGuyver-esque security system of his own and may have just roasted a badger. Gregor has called all his team and if he doesn't end up shooting Mom or our senile old nanny, I'll be surprised. Thank God Daddy is still asleep.

As per your instructions, I have sealed myself in the Safe Room and Uncle Benjen is with me. Do you think I should keep my appointment with Roose Bolton today? I really want to get to know him better, but there are just SO many creepy things going on right now. Maybe I'll invite him out to the house.....

Call me when you get this.

Your Sweetling


	368. Change of Plans   by LemonCake

Roose,

I am SO sorry to have to tell you, but I don't think I'll be able to keep our date for this afternoon. We apparently suffered a security breach overnight and some of the intruders may have been killed or injured --- details are still sketchy.

Anyway, as you can imagine, my handlers all insist I not leave the estate until further notice. I am SO disappointed. I was looking forward to tasting your lemon cakes, and now I guess I'll have to settle for staring at a bunch of ugly old guards with big guns.

You don't think this has anything to do with that strange message I received from Robb....or someone CLAIMING to be Robb, do you?

Please let me know if you'd like to come out for tea this afternoon. Gregor and Jory might force you do submit to a cavity search before they let you near me, but I'll try and make it worth your trouble. ( wink )

Oh....and if you don't mind.....could I trouble you to pay Ben Bones for some recreational equipment I have bought from him? He was supposed to meet me at your coffeehouse this afternoon so we could complete the transaction. If YOU could pay him and maybe bring the things with you if you come, that would be wonderful. I would be MORE than happy to pay you back. WITH interest. ( wink )

Please call or message me asap!

Sansa Stark


	369. RE: For R. by RamFlyr666

you stupid selfish little fuck

your brother begs me to see his sibling mutts

i won't let you die, get it out of your head.

but if you won't comply, i will alter then sell you instead.

i let you type, i let you play

you fuck up, i get to flay


	370. I've Been Breached!  by LemonCake

DaddyTywin!

A carload of intruders has tried to make it onto the grounds. Between the guards and the wolves and enough electricity to power White Harbor, they were scared off.

Gregor was amazing and I am now locked in the safe room you had secretly built for me with my Uncle Benjen. I was SO frightened, DaddyTywin! I wish you were here --- do you think you need to send more men? I really don't want to worry Daddy and I know your men are completely discreet and trustworthy.

I am just rambling right now......I guess this really shook me up, on top of everything else that has happened in the last 24 hours. I was scheduled to meet with Roose Bolton at his coffee shop this afternoon, but Uncle Petyr and Uncle Benjie are forbidding it and Gregor screamed obscenities at me when I dared to mention it to HIM. What do you think? 

PLEASE call or message me as soon as you get this! I am trying my best to be your brave cub and make you proud of me.....I am remembering how sharp my teeth and claws are.....but I still would feel safer if a lion or two were here.

Love you,

Little Red Cub


	371. Fair Damsel Needs Her Knight  by LemonCake

Brave Ser Jamie,

I need you! Some awful people tried to break in and attack me overnight. The guards and the wolves took care of them, but I would feel safer if YOU were here.

Speaking of.....Gregor won't let me leave the house and Tyrion isn't responding to my calls or texts. He's staying in the guest house and I am worried about him.

I didn't want DaddyTywin to know Tyrion is staying here ( for obvious reasons ) and so I don't want Gregor to find out, either. Do you think YOU could come up today with some men? You can stay in the guest house with Tyrion if you'd like and the two of you can have some great bonding time.

 

Call or text me asap,

Your naughty little cub Sansa


	372. Bring Him To Me   by LemonCake

Jory,  
After you see to his injuries --- well, enough so that he doesn't die just yet --- bring our new guest to my "sitting room". What would people say about my manners if I didn't show our surprise guest some hospitality? Even if he were so rude as to drop by uninvited, I'll make sure he gets a warm Stark welcome. I'm sure I'll be able to get him to open up -- figuratively AND literally -- and tell us what he was doing on our property.

Benjen is standing by to assist. Standard procedures should be more than adequate. I'll see you asap.

Sansa


	373. What Is Going On With You?   by Jailbait17

Tyrion!

why aren't you answering your goddamn phone???? Gregor won't let me out of his sight and I KNOW you don't want him to find out you're here. Were you even sober enough to HEAR the circus that was taking place on our back lawn earlier?

Honestly...I don't know what to do with you! I have asked Jamie to come up and spend the next few days with you --- I'm not going to KL anytime soon and neither are you. 

Call me when you get this, you little asshole

JailBait17


	374. For damon by Jon

 

I am to apologize to yo for my behaviur yesterday. Rmsay was kind to instruct m of the mistakes  i made an generously helping me from repeating tem again. I promise i wil behave in the future. i am grateful that my sistr is in you care and accept that only you an Ramsay will makethe decision of whether im ready to se her again. I am  truly regretful and hope you wwill accept my apology

jon


	375. RE: What is Going On With You   by G0dOtitsNwine

Relacx, woman.....don't type so loud....my head feels like i have been beaten 

Heard something but couldn;'t really focys....glad we are not dead

FUCK ---don't you dare let my father's pet monster anywhehre near me!

Jamie ......good to see jamie...that's good

goinig back to bed now.....cold as fuck here


	376. Ramsay! by RooseTheMoose

I want you and any and all of your associates in my office immediately. Now.

 


	377. Ran Into An Issue by SkinnerTheDude

To Damon, Ramsay and Locke,

Sorry about the mishap. Uh, I am a bit crispy I got out just fine. Thanks for waiting around for me, Lock you cocksucker! Lost Alyn though, I think he might be still alive but they have him if he is. Please advise?

 


	378. RE: For damon by DamonDanceForMe

I accept the apology. I am giving Arya permission to speak with you through this forum. She can use the computer only if she can continue to behave. So don't expect to hear from her much. When you can show us you behave at home and here online, you can have a visit in real time.

Damon


	379. Intruder Update  by Cassel1

Lady Sansa,

My men think the wolves may have got wind of another intruder somewhere still on the grounds and are running him to ground as we speak. They have been instructed to use lethal force, but if possible we will bring him back alive.

I apologize for the condition of your "guest", but it took a while to get the wolves to back off. Rodrick cauterized the wounds as best he could, but if you have a discreet doctor you could call on, that would probably be a good thing. I know you only need him alive long enough to talk, but right now I'm not sure he'll last that long.

Jory


	380. How Quickly Can You Be Here   by JailBait17

Qyburn,

Time to earn that exorbitant retainer fee I paid you. I need you here at Winterfell as quickly as possible. Be prepared to care for severe large animal-inflicted wounds and possibly more than one missing limb. You'll find we have adequate facilities if you need to perform rudimentary surgery. Bring bags of O+ with you.....I don't want to deplete my supplies on this "patient". You won't be required to save his life, merely prolong it so that he is able to answer questions.

On second thought, bring ALL the type O blood you have ---- you may have more than one patient to deal with. And bring your things.....you'll be staying at the house for the foreseeable future.

JailBait17


	381. I Don't Want to Worry You, But.....    by LemonCake

Stannis,

Could you please call/message me?

A group of intruders tried to break in here last night ---security was able to repel them, but at least one of them is dead....eaten by one of our wolves.

Gregor Clegane and his men, as well as our own Stark men, are doing an admirable job......but I wish you were here. I will understand if you decide not to come. I'm not going to lie, Stannis. I think this has somehow turned into a very dangerous situation and I'd feel better if you were safe in Kings Landing. I'll be able to visit you soon, I'm sure. But I'd never be able to live with myself if something were to happen to either you or one of your men. You planned on only bringing three men......right now I would say it would take at least a dozen Baratheon forces to really make a difference.

I guess fate just doesn't want the two of us to be together, at least not this weekend. You'll never know how I was looking forward to being in your arms. 

Don't give up on us, Stannis. WE are worth fighting for, if maybe not dying for.

Your loving Sansa


	382. RE: To R. by SamWell

Dear RamFlyer666

I hope you don't mind me crashing this thread, but I would be very interested if you do decide to sell your pet. It sounds like he's a major handful and is pretty insistent on misbehaving. I am on the lookout for a feisty pet & happy to do some kind of a swap if money isn't your thing. I have a pretty one, very obedient, but that just doesn't do it for me. I like the biters.

Let me know. Email sam_well@yahoo.com


	383. RE: I Don't Want to Worry You, But..... by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I am deeply disturbed to hear these news, I will change my plans and bring more men. I know Robert will be willing to lend me some of his security team. Robert is sure to want to do anything to help Ned Stark and his family.

I’ll call you to talk over the details.

Know that I am coming for you, and woe betide those who would harm you.

Stannis


	384. RE:  WTF? Bran!   by Bran-doll

Sansa  
Where are you? I just saw mom staggering down the hall with a bottle of vodka and a box of tampons. YOU deal with her.

Shit -- you will not believe the scorch marks that badger left on the flowerbeds below my window!!!!! That sucker must have been HUGE! I guess the wolves probably dragged him off and ate him. Hope they don't mind their meat well-done. LOL

One of those Lannister pet monsters you have guarding you actually GROWLED at me when I went down for some Captain Crunch. I know it's not my business and I try and stay out of your personal life, but Sans........you are REALLY into some strange things with some STRANGE people. No judging....just an observation.

SHit-- just found Old Nan. TTYL


	385. O Brother, Wherefore Art Thou   by G0dOtitsNwine

Jamie....

father's little red whoere says you are coming to babysit your baby brother. That is good. Bring more wine. This place is cold and their wine is all a bunch of Calfornai shit. bring good stuff and pyt it on DADDY'S tab


	386. RE:  I Don't Want to Worry You, But.....   by LemonCake

Stannis,

I have always heard people describe themselves as "torn", but up until this moment I never really understood what they meant. Part of me wants to weep I am so relieved you are coming, another part is terrified about the danger you'll be in. You're such a GOOD man, Stannis. You're exactly the kind of man Ned Stark has always promised me.

Now...at the risk of bringing up an ugly subject. Your security. I am glad you are bringing a group of the Baratheon elite. We may need every one of them. But it has occurred to me that we have spoken over potentially non-secure lines regarding your transportation and arrival times. Not to be paranoid, but I like to anticipate every problem and head them off before they can happen. 

My brother is sending you a heavily encrypted and coded message with special directions regarding your departure and arrival. I'm not sure now I will see you when you first arrive --- the men won't let me out of their sight OR outside the front doors. But I will do my best to be there. You will have security, no worries.

Call me on my land line as soon as you find time,

Your loving Sansa


	387. RE: Intruders   by TheMockingbird

Sweetling,

Per our earlier phone conversation, it sounds like my competent little dove has everything well in hand. In light of what has happened, I have placed more of my own little birds about to watch over you. It will be good if both Stannis and Jamie can show up. That won't create any awkward "problems" for you, will it?

Btw.....where is your Uncle Edmure in all of this? Have you sent for him? I admit he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer but he's big, knows his way around a gun, AND usually has interesting friends with him. Give him a call if you haven't already.

Believe me, no one understands your fascination with older, dangerous men better than *I* do, but for now, leave Roose Bolton alone. I doubt he'd be foolish enough to come out to Winterfell. Even if you only want to "play", he can't know that and if what your "guest" says is true, he could be tied to the attack in some way. I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.

Since our breakfast date was spoiled, how about I come out for a late lunch? The usual time. Just you, me, and Gregor. HOW romantic. Oh, and tell Bran I'll bring that case of Coke and the Doritos he wanted. Kid's a pain in the ass, but he has his uses. Best to keep him happy.

Uncle Petyr


	388. RE: I Don't Want to Worry You, But..... by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I’m not the sort of man who is afraid of a challenge. Your tormentors are the ones who should be afraid. For I am coming, and I am _furious._

The message from your brother has reached me, and I will call you soon.

Stannis


	389. RE: Ran Into An Issue by SpearMe

Hey guys, where u at??

I got away, not sure bout Alyn and Skinner though. Fucking starks. Can any of you pick me up??

Luton


	390. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

Samwell,

I am going to email you but I will tell you up front, the castration hasn't happened. The damned doctor has a crisis he is dealing with and can't show up. So he will still be intact and he is certainly a biter. I am interested if you are.

Ramsay


	391. RE: Ran Into An Issue by RamFlyr666

email included with directions to someplace safe.


	392. On Our Way  by BlackFish63

Sugarpuss,

Ed told me what's going on. He and that Red Viper friend of his are headed your way and Barristan and I are tagging along. You know this old dog never wants to miss a fight, especially when someone threatens the family.

Keep an eye peeled til we get there

Love you

The Blackfish


	393. RE:  On Our Way   by LemonCake

Thanks Uncle Bryn!

I will feel SO much safer with YOU here. Some of my friends are coming for the weekend also, so it should be quite the house party. I just wish the circumstances were better. We still have no clue why these people would want to attack us.

Mom is "resting" right now...but I know you understand. I hate to ask, but Bran wants to know if you guys could pick up more cokes and Doritos if you stop anywhere on the way? Ohhh.. and some of those pecan log roll things. Sorry....but he is TERRIFIED we are going to get into a siege situation and he won't have his supplies of junk food.

Don't worry about other supplies, though I know you will be bringing what you need. Weapons, ammo, food, water, medicine, blood --- all taken care of. I have even found a reasonably competent doctor and have set him up in the suite adjacent to the "wet room". If someone wants to start a war, we will be ready, just like you taught me.

 

Oh...before I forget.....I MAY have a surprise for you! ( don't tell uncle Ed, okay?)

Love you,

LemonCake


	394. LemonCake I Am On My Way by QyburnMD

Ms.Stark,

I am on my way per your instructions. Please do NOT tell your aunt I am coming over.

Dr. Qyburn


	395. Dearest Sansa by RooseTheMoose

Darling girl,

I am devastated that this is happening to you and your little brother. I have been in contact with the Lannisters and find that they are just as worried for your welfare. How can I help you, my sweet dearest? I am a family friend and loyal to you always. I have always wanted your smile to be sunny and now you must be frowning. It pains me to know that. So please advise me how I can assist you and bring that smile back.

Yours Truly,

Roose Bolton


	396. RE: To R. by Sam_Well

Cool. Great that still intact. Will sort out details over email.


	397. RE: LemonCake I Am On My Way   by LemonCake

Excellent Dr. Q!

I have set you up in rooms adjacent to our "surgical theater". No need to rush.....they've stopped bleeding. For now. I have found out most of what I need to know but a friend of mine wants to spend some time with them so I am leaving what's left of them alive for now. HOWEVER, it will be good to have you here and standing by.

As for my aunt, you have no worries in that department. I no more want her here than YOU do. You're not the first man she has made uncomfortable with her attentions and advances, so I apologize on behalf of the family. She's.....not well. Actually, neither is our mother. I just found her cramming vodka soaked tampons in both her vagina AND rectum. I'm fairly certain she's beyond help, but perhaps you can assist me in "easing her transition" while you're here. I'd like it all to look as "natural" as possible. 

The guards are expecting you, but don't make any sudden movements. Your vehicle will be scanned for explosive devices....and you should avoid sudden movements when walking up to the house as this can "rile" the wolves. Have some of my men bring in your luggage and equipment....they know where it goes. Then you can join me for a late lunch. I have someone interested in meeting you.

Sansa Stark


	398. Jon, It's ME! by WolfGirl

Jon i am so glad to know u r ok. damon won't let me know about anyone else. you know who i am talking about! are they ok? i am not happy i have to wear a fucking collar and he can be a real dick when he is pissed off! but i am ok. but i want to know if everyone else is too! robb can be a real prick and rickon has a mouth that won't quit. i am afraid for them. please respond soon, ok?

Love,

Arya

wish i still had my needle instead of a collar


	399. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

Glad over email that we could reach a decision. Let me know when is good for the swap. by the way, i would like name for this new pet. what was it called before?


	400. RE: Dearest Sansa   by LemonCake

Roose,  
You are SUCH a sweetheart for wanting to help. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do right now. Unless of course you can find out who would want to hurt me and why they would attack my home. Honestly, I have NO idea who would do something like this. I swear I have always thought of myself as a generous, loving, and EXTREMELY OPEN MINDED (not to mention FREAKISHLY limber) individual. I never thought I had an enemy in the world!

I had thought that perhaps someone else in the house was the target, but all of my friends seem certain someone must have been after me. But whatever FOR? Did they want to kill me? Hold me for ransom? Degrade me and force me to do unspeakable acts with my hot mouth and young, nubile, body? I have been playing out all the different scenarios in my head all morning. Me, naked and terrified, tied down to a cold metal table with a gag in my mouth while some faceless man uses me as if I am some sort of animal!

Tell me, Roose....what do YOU think someone would do to me if they had me like that, all alone and helpless? Completely at their mercy, my flawless porcelain skin prickling from the cold and the fear......my sky blue eyes wide with terror and tears.....screams of pain stifled by the gag in my mouth? Can't you just imagine it, Roose, how HORRIBLE that would be ?

I'm afraid all this "plot to kill me" business has everyone quite determined to build an army around me, so I'm afraid I probably won't be able to see you for a while. We can still talk over the phone and exchange messages, though. I'd really like that.... if you would. ( blushes )

Do you think you could still go ahead and pay for my things from Ben Bones? He's done a lot of custom work for me in the past. This isn't anything like that, just some strong equipment I thought I might be able to find good use for sometime. Always helps to be prepared, as we never know WHAT opportunities might arise, right Roose? I'd be ever so grateful to you. And that way we have the PERFECT excuse for getting together whenever all this mess blows over. Besides the crypts, I have a special room here I'd like to show you. It's a secret room that very, VERY few people know about. I'd like to share my secrets with you, Roose......lay my body and soul bare and hide NOTHING from your probing eyes and heart and mind.

Do you think you might have time to call or message me later? I certainly hope so. It would make all this terrible waiting and fear SO much more bearable.

Until then,

Sansa


	401. RE: Jon, It's ME! by jon

Im very happy to hear yu are ok. Im fine to. I dont think you needto wory about your brothers, im sure they are fine. just stay as sweet as you always have, can u do that for me? I lovee ou and miss you. well talk again soon. Take care sis

hugs and kises

jon


	402. Re: I've Been Breached! by PrideofthePack

Dear Little Red Cub,  
Well done. That’s my very brave girl, you did beautifully. I know you are still armed because you are so clever.  
I am sending men instantly. No one is going to touch my little cub and you may rely on our discretion and superior weaponry.  
I’ll be sending reinforcements as well. Your Pride will see you through this.  
Given the situation, do not meet with Mr. Bolton today. In fact, I highly suggest you not do it until all is resolved and even then with guards. You are a smart girl and a bit of patience will always get you what you want. (I told you of my strategies and know you listened; pay them heed now and take the time to let your prey come right to your claws.)  
My men are on their way. Stay in the safe room, stay armed and be my brave little cub as I know you are. We’ll see each other soon--and soon, we’ll be choosing pretty things for your summer at the Rock.  
Stay brave and sharpen your fangs and claws. Your Daddy is here for you.  
DaddyTywin

(PS. I also think it’s time that my little cub had a nice shiny Kashkalnivov--and I’ve seen just the pair of Louboutins to go with it. I hope that gives you even the tiniest of smiles. )


	403. RE: Fair Damsel Needs Her Knight by WhiteSatin

My brave princess and naughty little cub,

Of course your knight is here for you. Always and till the end of time, sweetest of lemoncakes.

Stay safe, listen to Gregor and don’t leave the house. I know you love to explore and play, but I need you to mind today and till everything is secure. Your current arrangements sound like they will work for me.

Let’s make further plans on the land line, shall we? I do so enjoy hearing your pretty voice and perhaps I can help soothe some of your worry. (Our Lady’s thoughts are with you as well--our Pride won’t leave you behind. Promise.)

Think of your knight nibbling at your ear while you lie in a sunbeam at the Rock--and the next time you see me, I promise to have lots of presents which I know you’ll just love.

Hugs and kisses to my princess--  
Jaime

PS. Our guest is well; I received a text about the inferiority of local wines and a very misspelled version of "THUNDERCATS HO!". I hope that helps ease your worries.


	404. RE: I've Been Breached!  by LemonCake

DaddyTywin,

You make your little cub feel SO safe. THANK YOU!!! I DO think you would be proud if you could see your little girl right now. I feel like I'm tottering around in a pair of your shiny black boots ( the ones I love to lick ) and giving orders left and right, just like a REAL Lioness would. I hope Gregor is giving you a good report of me. He is definitely unpleasant, but I can't think of anyone besides maybe a handful of people --- you chief among them -- who could make me feel as safe.

It's odd that you say that about Mr. Bolton. No one else will let me get near him, either. But he messaged me earlier claiming he'd been in contact with the Lannisters and that you were all "on the same page". Was he not being truthful, Daddy?

Daddy....you make your cub giggle. You KNOW I've been wanting a sniper rifle! You spoil me! Do you think you might take picture of me with it....in my new heels......and nothing else? ( scampers away feeling naughty )


	405. RE: Fair Damsel Needs Her Knight   by LemonCake

Oh, Brave Knight!

I am SO glad that you are on your way. I know I will be safe as a little cub in her daddy's paws with you here. Do you plan on picking me up by the scruff of my neck and dragging me around? LOL

I feel SO relaxed after our phone call. You leave me wrung out and like I don't have a solid bone in my body. ( blushes )

Daddy Tywin agrees with you about Roose Bolton, but Mr. Bolton says he's talked with you all and that he's on the same page with you. What do think it all means?

 

Love you, 

Red Cub

p.s. I wish you were hear to lick the sticky off my fingers


	406. RE: To R. by Sam_Well

See HotBoyz - LorAss. Profile still up for full details & market price.


	407. A Matter of Urgency, Dear Lioness by WhiteSatin

Most Regal of Lionesses,

I know today is your seaweed wrap and shower massage day. You know I wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t important, because I adore how you tend to yourself. I always think of it as polishing a perfect gem (and you always smell like a field of fresh lavender after. Ahhh.)

As for the interruption--our little cub has been attacked. She is safe and well armed, but shaken. I’ll inform you later how best you can assist when I know more, but I think a note would bring her great comfort. She loves her Pride and I know your tenderness is very special to her. She needs a lady’s good wishes as well. I’ve already done my best to make her smile. Fear not, we’ll keep her safe--and she’ll be spending summer at the Rock. 

The two loveliest women in the world beside me in the sunshine-- Lovely thought--however did I become so fortunate? I’d say my greatest of good fortunes began at our birth.

Once your pretty fingers can reach your phone, please do catch up. You’ll write and you and I will speak privately later. Fear not, all will be well.

Hugs and scratches,  
Jaime


	408. Re: I've Been Breached! by PrideofthePack

Dearest Little Cub,

It does my heart good to know that I make you feel safe. You know I’ll do anything to keep you that way.  
Anything.  
You know I do not make idle promises.

Before anything else: None of the Boltons have been in contact with us. None. He is lying to you. Stay away from him. Tell him nothing.

That being said, I am so proud to see you giving orders and organizing just like a brave little lioness. Teeth and claws, sweet girl. I think we’ll have to get you a pair of black boots like mine in your size for being such a fierce cub. You are formidable.  
(You’ll still be licking mine, though. I know you like them even better than honey sweets, little minx.)

I think a portrait of you with only your new rifle and pretty new shoes would be one of my finest treasures. Of course we’ll do that. We will need to do it several times to make sure we capture you perfectly, of course. (You are of course, my very finest treasure.)   
Your Pride is with you.  
Keep being my very brave cub; your Daddy is proud of you. After the storm has passed, he’ll show his little girl just how proud he is. For hours.

Your  
Daddy Tywin

PS. Gregor has given me sterling reports of your behavior. I’ll be sure to keep you by my side in battle, little lioness.


	409. Re: Fair Damsel Needs Her Knight! by WhiteSatin

Sweet and Saucy Little Princess--

There will be sweet words to follow. Can’t leave my best red cub without those.

Mr. Bolton and none of the other Boltons have not been in contact with us nor any other Lannisters. Do not speak to him. Do not share any information and stay away from him. I’m glad that you spoke to us to confirm--such a clever girl. Lann himself would be proud of you, though probably not as proud as I or the rest of your Pride.

Now. Such a brave and clever girl deserves a treat. I can’t wait to have you in my paws. Of course I’ll drag you by the scruff of the neck because I know you love it so. I’ll be biting the scruff of your neck too because you are delicious. Did you know that you smell like honey and pastry? Of course your knight wants a nibble or three; and that’s not to mention licking, sweetest of sweetlings. That will be there too, I promise.

(I also promise you’ll have a solid bone in your body when I get the chance. That may be low, but you know I couldn’t resist it, teasing your lion like that! ) I’m also feeling deliciously wrung out and relaxed; you do give me such luscious reminders of what I’m fighting for. Mmm.

Your Pride is with you and you are ever in my thoughts, brave girl. Rest well, princess and think sweet thoughts. (If I haven’t mentioned it, there’s a lovely place in the dunes at the Rock just large enough for a girl-sized blanket and a bottle of honey wine. Think of all the lovely things we can do there--and did I mention that the smallfolk walk by regularly? I do aim to make you smile.)

All the kisses, all the licks and all the love-bites from your devoted knight.

Love you, sweet girl.

Jaime

PS. I wish I was too; you are my very favorite sticky treat, naughty girl. Wish you were here to get your sticky treat from my fingers--but I promise there will be more for my best cub. Kisses.


	410. RE: A Matter of Urgency, Dear Lioness by LovelyLioness

Most Valiant of Lions,

As much as I adore my spa days, they are of secondary concern when it comes to doing whatever I can to ease my brother’s troubled mind...

As disturbing as this news is, I thank you for passing it along. I will immediately send off a note to our darling cub and let her know that we will not rest until our red sister is here with us.

If I can render any other assistance, please let me know. We must support each other in these difficult times.

Nips and hugs, 

Cersei

P.S. It is I who count myself fortunate when the Gods gave me a brother such as yourself.


	411. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

Don't bother, sweet boy. Already found a replacement for you. And found you a new home. Consider yourself lucky its a private sale and not a brothel in the West somewhere.


	412. RE: Jon, It's ME! by Wolfgirl

i understand. i am trying to be a good little cub and brave like a lion but its hard. u just stay still and silent and behave. i will too. so they will let us visit with each other. i am sure u are right and our brothers are fine. I KNOW that ONE of the pack is fine and will NOT bother with us. Ginger head cunt. sorry, i will be a sweet girl and dream of my needle. i do not have it.  


	413. Important Message by OneTrueKing

Robert,

Please put down the bottle and read this carefully. I need you to send about a dozen of your best men over to Dragonstone. I’m taking them to Winterfell to protect Sansa Stark from a great danger. I’m sure Ned Stark would have asked you himself, but communication in and out of Winterfell is difficult, and possibly not secure.

Do it now.

Stannis


	414. Boys. Home. Now. by RooseTheMoose

I am beyond displeased. Every single one of you and each of the "new pets" will be here as fast as your asses can move. Now.


	415. Attn: Twin Lannister

Tywin,

I have not reached out to speak with you in some time except at our charity functions..those infernal things. However, it seems my son has caused a small uproar and precious Sansa was never a target. I am afraid a small war between the Stark siblings and my Ramsay has occurred.

I will be sending Sansa a message about what has happened along with my humblest of apologies as well as a small token of my sincerity. It was directly from Ramsay and I am sure she will enjoy it. However, I do not feel that I should speak with her without making sure that you know what has occurred. So there is an email including the whole sordid thing. I am sure Sansa will agree that no true harm was done. Don't you?

Roose


	416. RE: Important Message by Warhammer123

HI STANNIS

OF COURSE I WILL SEND NED SOME HELP! BUT WHY ARE YOU GOING? SHOULDN’T I BE GOING? I AM MUCH BETTER AT FIGHTING THAN YOU. I CAN BRING MY HAMMER.

I’M COMING OVER!

-RB


	417. RE:Dearest Sansa by RooseTheMoose

Dearest Sansa,

I must make a terrible confession to you. I am so deeply ashamed of myself. I must tell you the truth. I lied to you, it is true and I wish I didn't. I just sent a message to Tywin explaining everything so I am transparent to you. You may have Tywin check the details for truth, as I am sure he already is.

I am very sorry to tell you this. I didn't want you to be under any further distress than your siblings have caused you. Apparently, Jon, Robb and Arya thought that Ramsay had Theon. They began to harass him and his friends. Also, that boy Rickon had shown up, following his siblings I guess and began to drive my son out of his mind.

Please remember that Ramsay has a temper and doesn't take to harassment well. Ramsay and his friends subdued the naughty children and has started to straighten them out. He has given them all new homes with new opportunities for personal growth. They will never bother you again, I have seen to that. I have personally seen them and they are already learning to behave properly. 

Now as to the "attack" on your house. I am sorry to tell you that was also due to my Ramsay. It was NEVER aimed at you, but at naughty Bran. Ramsay knew how much I wanted to see you and he thought he was "helping" you by taking the last naughty sibling out of your lovely hair and soft hands. He was going to install Bran in his program along with his siblings. I was not informed of this nor would I have approved without your complete agreement first.

Please forgive such a breach and I can assure you that Ramsay and his friends have been harshly disciplined for causing you such a ruckus. In fact, I am sending you a gift though Tywin's office, so they may check it first. It is something from my son, so you may see he was truly punished for his blunder.

If you wish it, Jon and Arya have behaved in the program long enough that they could speak with you supervised on the message board or by phone if you truly wish for it.

Your With Humble Apologies,

Roose


	418. RE: I Don't Want to Worry You, But..... by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I’m afraid you’re going to have to stock up on booze. Robert is insisting on coming to Winterfell with me and there’s no arguing with him.

Stannis


	419. My Dearest Lemoncake by LovelyLioness

My Dearest and Bravest Cub, 

It always deeply pains me to think about you suffering even the slightest discomfort...unless it’s one of us making you feel that discomfort, little sister. However, your life has been threatened. That is unacceptable and know that the Pride will make them pay, and whoever is responsible will come to regret their whore mothers laying with their fathers once we are through with them! But my girl needs pleasing thoughts to get her through her troubled times...

I am ecstatic beyond measure that you will be coming to stay with us at the Rock! I’m having the warmest and sunniest quarters of the house made ready for you! I know how you adore the sun and heat. Winterfell offers neither of those things. Here, you will be waited on hand and foot, and your every whim indulged. You shall spend your days shopping, going to the spa, picnicking, sunbathing, hunting...

However, I am especially looking forward to having girl time with you...sometimes, we just need time away from the men, wouldn’t you agree, sweetling? However, I can always...accessorize should you decide that there’s one thing that they offer that you want. 

There are rooms here at home filled with the loveliest of toys for our sister to use...and for us to use on our sister...it’s not only her lovely hair that is lovelier when it’s red!

I’ll leave you now, though I promise my little one that I shall be thinking of her later when I fall asleep, wishing she were here with me...such a naughty cub, giving your Lady such salacious thoughts and sticky fingers...

For now, know that your Pride is with you in spirit, and we count the days until you will be will us in the flesh. Please stay safe. You are my treasure.

Your Lady, Always,  
Cersei


	420. Operation Only Child    by LemonCake

P....

I think the Bolton's are planning to try and give Rickon back. It's exactly as you feared. As much as I hate to do this...(.wait....that's a lie...I don't hate it at all.)...I think you should go ahead and put your plan in motion.

S


	421. RE:  I Don't Want To Worry You, But....  by LemonCake

Darling Man,

Robert is MORE than welcome here at Winterfell. As Daddy's oldest friend I will be honored to host him. In fact, I plan on Robert and Daddy spending a LOT of time together, that way you and I have more time to ourselves. ( wink )

Seriously, though. You have first hand knowledge of my experience with difficult siblings. Robert will be fine. Tyrion Lannister is here so I have already sent staff to the liquor store. He's more of a wine drinker, though, and I know Robert is a scotch and bourbon man. I will take care of it. Too bad he doesn't want Vodka.....my mother has it stored by the case in the basement.

This place is going to be a MAD HOUSE.....but you have my solemn promise that if I can't bend Heaven I will raise Hell in order to be alone with you and in your arms as soon as possible. I am literally counting down the minutes until you arrive.

All my love,

Sansa


	422. RE: Operation Only Child by RooseTheMoose

Dearest Sansa,

I could not help but notice this message. To be very blunt, I am not giving you any children. Your siblings have become comfortable in his new environment and is not seeking to reattach with his name or family. The same can be said for Jon and Arya.

I am trying very hard to please you, my dearest. You said so many times how your siblings have mentally and verbally abused you no matter how hard you tried with them. You set them a high example and they couldn't live up to it. Darling, I simply wanted to make you happy and now that your siblings are out of your lovely red hair, you can be happier.

Please, Tywin will understand when he sees your present from us. Ramsay personally worked on it himself.

Truly Yours,

Roose


	423. RE: I Don't Want to Worry You, But..... by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I’m glad to hear that Robert won’t be too much of an inconvenience. As I said, there really is no arguing with him when he makes up his mind to join a fight.

I’ll be there soon. (And Robert and about a dozen men, too.)

Hopefully we will have a chance to speak in private…

Stannis


	424. Re: Attn: Twin Lannister by PrideofthePack

Dear Mr. Bolton,

Thank you for your contact regarding Miss Stark.

I am not Miss Stark and cannot speak to what she will find satisfactory. 

However, I find it unsatisfactory and unsavory that you discussed an alliance with the Lannisters that has not existed.

One might think if you had Miss Stark’s welfare in mind and did care for an alliance you would have discussed it with me before requesting my help in rephrasing a kidnapping and attack as a boyish prank.

This is extremely illegal activity, not a fraternity hazing. 

I urge you to cease any contact with Miss Stark immediately until she has had the chance to seek council. I would also argue that a breach of trust and giving misleading information about alliances is in fact a particularly insidious form of real harm.   
A harm so real, that in fact it is known as harassment and causing mental distress. This will stand up in court. 

I cannot predict what Miss Stark will decide, but I would think carefully if you wish to have the law involved in your affairs. 

I wish you a pleasant evening.

Very truly yours,

Mr. Tywin Lannister, Esq.


	425. please ramsy by jon

 

Please I hav been good… i have behaved lik yo told me to. i do what ou ask of me… i promise ive learnned. I know wats right now…. i havent tried torun… i dont talk about them anymore... please rmsay,? ..you told me i had been good. please i beg you donnt let him do that to me…!!!  ill do anything.. ill listen, be quit. why wuld uo do this? please don't do .... i obey i do what you ask, im good. damon said i behave, i... arya,... i cant... please ramsay dont  


	426. RE: Dearest Sansa   by LemonCake

Roose,

I am still reeling a bit from the news, but I am SO happy you decided to be honest with me. That is all I ever want between us --- complete honesty. I will tell YOU right now that I am not "exactly" the good girl Daddy thinks I am. I have.....interests. Some people wouldn't understand them. But since the first time I felt your cold, dead eyes running up and down my still-developing body, I KNEW you would understand. I KNEW I had found a kindred spirit.

I am touched that your son wanted to "relieve" me of my burden. But Bran is really the only sibling I have ever cared for. We bonded long ago at being the only two people in this family ( besides my uncles, of course ) who are not insane or stupid. Or insanely stupid. We share a hate for Robb, a disdain for Arya and Jon, disgust with Rickon, and a sense of hopelessness for our mother. Bran also has skills that are incredibly useful and we join our talents to form a strong, working unit.

However....I am SO happy you realized I have NO interest in seeing any of the others EVER again. IN fact, the ones who's bodies aren't identified, I intend to have declared missing-and-preumed dead. A new Will has already been drafted and signed. Bran is content to let me have the run of things as long as he is left in peace and given copious amounts of junk food. With Daddy and Uncle Benjen by my side, we will remain a power in the North. And as long as YOU and *I* have a bond, then our Houses are united in peace and mutual good will.

I look forward to my present. I have a hint at what it may be. If it's what I HOPE it is, I have JUST the place for it --- right on a shelf in that special room I told you about. I look forward to the day we can admire it together.

Now, I'm afraid your son has left me a bit of a mess to clean up. Not only are House Stark guards on high alert, but as we speak contingencies of Lannister and Baratheon men......as well as Robert & Stannis Baratheon, the Blackfish and the Red Viper......are headed this way. IF we don't have a war to fight, I will have to make sure all of them are entertained for the next few days. I am confident I can think of SOMETHING. ( wink )

It's a pity you don't feel safe coming out to the House. I assure you, after the guards search you, you will be in NO danger. Think about it. Now....it would be VERY dangerous for someone else that might wander onto the property. It would almost be like signing their death warrant. Food for thought. Food for thought.

Yours,  
the Lemon Cake


	427. RE: Important Message by Warhammer123

HI STANNIS,

I HAVE A QUESTION. WHY DO YOU WANT TO COME TO WINTERFELL SO BADLY? I GOT THIS. YOU KNOW I GOT THIS. YOU CAN STAY IN KING’S LANDING AND DO YOUR FAVOURITE THING WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY WORK. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

-RB


	428. RE: Important Message by OneTrueKing

Robert,

None of your business. I’m going and that’s all you need to know.

Stannis


	429. RE: Important Message by Warhammer123

NO SERIOUSLY STANNIS YOU HAVE TO TELL ME. TELL MEEEEEEE. TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME OR I’LL FIRE YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


	430. RE: Important Message by OneTrueKing

Robert,

I have recently struck up a friendship with Sansa Stark and she asked me to help her. She asked _me,_ not you. So I’m going.

Stannis


	431. RE: Important Message by Warhammer123

ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK NED’S DAUGHTER STANNIS?

I’M NOT SURE I’M OKAY WITH THAT.


	432. Manna From Heaven   by Bran-doll

Bran to Three-Eyed Crow

I'm awake. In daylight. The world must be mad. Fucking kill me now. 

My defenses killed a badger in the night, though. Cool, hunh? Smelled like shit, though. Sansa seems pretty het up about it. I'd ask, but she seems pretty busy with her own stuff and i don't want to be a pest. I'll put some more stuff in around the perimeter, and sleep in the server room in the basement until things clear up. 

My brother Robb has cross the line, man. I don't care if he ends up dead in a ditch, but fucking with Jon and Arya is not OK. I had a look at his cell, but he hasn't been on it in days. Such a pain in the butt -- the asshole lives like it is 2007. Do you believe that he has HARDCOPY PORN?!? And he uses cash. This is really limiting my options for fucking with him and his religious dickbag friends. 

Fortunately, I excel at fucking with people. Remember that Manna from Heaven project idea we had for the Sons of the Harpy? I'm so doing it. Put the order in this morning, bill sent to the Targaryen Eugenics Foundation shitheads. I'll take delivery in a couple of hours, and get to work. 

Bran-doll


	433. RE: Important Message by OneTrueKing

Robert,

I’m not _trying_ to do anything. Now go to sleep.

Stannis


	434. Forgive but Don't Forget   by LemonCake

DaddyTywin,

I heard from Roose Bolton. I listened to him just the way you taught me. I handled him JUST the way Uncle Petyr and my other Daddy taught me. I don't trust him, but I think he is likely being honest. He would have to be an idiot and/or a madman to attempt something like this. One does not poke a sleeping lion without drawing back a bloody stump.

His son, on the other hand, sounds to be an idiot and a madman. I am reasonably satisfied he and his "men" were the sole responsible parties, though I'm not sure I believe their true motive was wishing to please ME. Fortunately, they have put themselves squarely in the crosshairs should anything "unpleasant" befall my other siblings and it were to come to the attention of outside parties.

I have told Roose I have no hard feelings towards him, and --as far as that goes -- I do not. However, it will be a while ( if ever ) before the Starks and the Lannisters put their trust in a Bolton.

Obviously he has failed once to keep his son in-check, so until further notice I think we should proceed as planned regarding our "war efforts". It's just as well you're not here, as Robert Baratheon has insisted upon travelling here with Stannis. I would NOT want to see that fight, so I will just have to be content with our calls and messages and with Jamie's presence. 

Enough of this serious girl ----- your little cub is TIRED of being so fierce and formidable like her Daddy! Though I am SO very thrilled you would think to take me into battle with you!

You know what your cub is thinking about right now, Daddy? I am picturing your big, red bed --- the one at Casterly Rock.....and at the foot of that bed there are TWO pairs of shiny black boots.......one tiny compared to the other......sitting side by side. The larger pair is shined with a cubs sweet licks and kisses and polished with my curtain of titian hair. Would that please YOU, Daddy ????

Can't wait to hear from you,

Your little cub Sansa


	435. Night of the Badger  by LemonCake

Bran,

I'm glad to see you've relocated to the basement. I have had Jory's men check to make sure the generators and alternative power supplies are at full capacity should we suffer a loss of power. You and your servers should be perfectly safe.

I'm not going to lie, there's a chance there could be trouble at the house in the next few days. But I don't want YOU to worry. Our men are on top of things, and more Lannister forces should be here any minute led by Jamie Lannister himself. Stannis and Robert Baratheon are also heading this way with men of their own. And Uncles Edmure and the Blackfish should be here for dinner. They're bringing Barristan Selmy and the Red Viper with them.

I don't wish to alarm you.....and I know it sounds like we are gearing up for war, but right now we are just taking a defensive position in case anyone tries to harm anyone at Winterfell. I have even hired a Dr. Qyburn who is here to deal with any medical crisis that might occur. Between Mom and Uncle Robert's drinking, that's a distinct possibility. Maybe you can talk to him sometime......I think you might like him.

Security has been tightened. No one enters or leaves without being searched and their vehicles scanned for explosive devices. I'm not telling you all this to frighten you, I am telling you this to let you know the steps I am taking to keep us safe. I know we have a fucked-up family. To be honest, you are the only one I have ever loved outside of Daddy and the Uncles. I would DIE if anything happened to you, and I am planning on living a long and exciting life. So....just stay put and listen to the guards if they tell you to do something. I have personally selected the SmallJon to act as your bodyguard. He's not to leave your presence, IS THAT CLEAR? If I have to have Gregor follow ME to the bathroom, YOU can surely put up with a nice guy like SJ for a few days.

Let me know if you have any questions. I'm sure you know some things that neither of us want to think about, much less give voice to. 

Love you,  
San

P.S. It looks like a goddamn convenience store blew up I have stockpiled so much coke and Doritos


	436. RE:  I Don't Want to Worry You, But.......  by LemonCake

Stannis,

More and more men are arriving here and I think you will be pleased with the strategy I have implemented so far. But I don't care if every warrior in Westeros was coming, bazookas and flamethrowers at the ready ---- I just want YOU.

I have relocated my little brother to the basement and assigned him a bodyguard. I am about to send Uncle Robert a message thanking him for coming......I know he is coming from a place of love and doesn't like to miss a fight. The Blackfish, the Red Viper, and Barristan Selmy will all be here so I am sure he can swap war stories with them.

You've not told me yet, but do you have a preference for dinner? I plan on having cook make something special just for the two of us to share in my rooms. I'd really like it if it were something you liked.

Speaking of rooms, I hope it is not too presumptuous of me, but I have planned on you staying in my suite with me. That's the only reason Gregor will not be sleeping in here. LOL There is a chaise lounge in my dressing room and a small sofa in my sitting room that I will be more than happy to sleep on if you don't feel comfortable sharing my bed.

I have put Robert in an entirely separate wing. Something tells me you could do with a break from him.

Let me know about the food and the beds,

Love,  
Your Sansa


	437. RE: please ramsy by RamFlyr666

You have been very good and have been learning faster. I will let you stay intact. If you ever attempt to run or fight me like you used to....am I clear?

And you can address me here the same way you do at home. Master.


	438. RE: Important Message  by LemonCake

Dear Uncle Robert,

You don't know how happy I am to hear you are accompanying Stannis here to Winterfell. Hopefully the worst is over and all of this will just be a precaution, but I know I feel better having a legendary warrior like YOU here with us. I know Daddy is looking forward to seeing you, too. As you can imagine, he is up to his NECK in meetings, but I know he plans to send you a note or call you soon.

Speaking of legends, besides you and Stannis and Daddy, the Blackfish, the Red Viper, and Barristan Selmy will all be here. And don't worry......I made a special run to the liquor store today just for you. I have ALL of your favorites on hand.

Thank you again for coming, Uncle Robert. As Daddy always tells me, a crisis brings out the TRUE friends in your life. 

Much love,

Sansa


	439. RE: Jon it's ME   by Bran-doll

Hi Guys! Just found this thread. Your code is hilarious. So much emo. Love it. You'll have to explain what it all means to me another time.

I'm missing my Call of Duty buddies, and I assume you are getting pretty sick of older-bro the King of Kiss My Ass's shit. Bet you'd like to get out from under his religious fuckers pronto. Unless getting your asses paddled is stokin' your fires, LOL.   
I'm working on something that should give Jon, and maybe Arya, pretty free communications. You'll know it when you see it. Until then, sit back and think of Winterfell.

Love, Bran-doll.


	440. RE: I Don't Want to Worry You, But..... by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

Sounds like Winterfell is turning into quite the battle ground. I do hope you will feel safe in your own home with all those men around.

I have no particular preferences when it comes to food, and I’m sure anything you order will be perfect.

As for sleeping arrangements… if you will feel safer with me in your room I can hardly object, though I wouldn’t dream of preventing you from sleeping in your own bed, precious girl.

I think Robert will be very pleased to have his own, very separate, wing.

Stannis


	441. RE:I Don't Want to Worry You, But.....   by LemonCake

Steam shower.......hot oil massage......Fresh Egyptian cotton sheets

What are you waiting for, Mr. Baratheon?

Sansa


	442. RE: Important Message by Warhammer123

SANSA,

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AND NED! THANKS FOR BUYING THE BOOZE! I WILL OF COURSE BRING MY PRIVATE SUPPLY, TOO. 

YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR MY BROTHER. I THINK HE HAS IMPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU.

-RB


	443. RE: Important Message   by LemonCake

LOL

Uncle Robert! You are WICKED! Please don't tease Stannis. And besides, how do you know *I* don't have impure thoughts about HIM? ( wink )

Love you,

Sansa


	444. RE: Night of the Badger   by Bran-doll

Sure thing, Princess! I'll stay out of your way, just let me know if you need anything. I've got my own project on the go to fill up time. I'll let security know that I'm expecting delivery of a very large, very heavy box soon, and they are NOT TO TOUCH IT. 

I don't want to pry -- seriously, you know that if I did, I'd just get everything off your communications -- but are you OK? You seem pretty stressed out. Lots of balls in the air (wink). You know you're always welcome to come work off some of that aggression with me. I got my mitts on a beta-version of Fallout 4. You worry too much. It isn't good for you. Everything will work out.

Peace, Bran-doll.


	445. RE: Important Message by Warhammer123

I NEVER TEASE STANNIS, SANSA. YOU KNOW THAT. AND I KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE IMPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM BECAUSE COME ON IT’S _STANNIS_. NO ONE HAS IMPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


	446. Hammer and Ice   by TheQuietWolf

Robert,

My little Lemon Cake tells me you're headed this way. I can't tell you how much that means to me --- it'll feel just like old times again, though I'm afraid we're all fresh out of pretty serving wenches. You'll have to make due with your hand just like the rest of us. ( wink )

Speaking of my Lemon Cake, I think she's taken quite a shine to your brother. Sansa's had every man and boy from Essos to the Wall chasing her since before she had anything worth chasing, but this is the first time I've seen her so starry-eyed over someone. There could be worse things, ya know. Maybe we will finally get that Baratheon-Stark alliance you've always wanted. I could probably handle a few grandkids running around here with scowls. LOL

See you soon, brother

Ned


	447. An Unexpected Gift   by LemonCake

DaddyTywin,

The gift from Roose Bolton arrived. Per your instructions, the men scanned it before I ever got near it. As a precaution, I opened it only in the presence of Gregor. I am grateful I took that precaution, because what was inside the box is meant for only a VERY few, select eyes. Pretty much just yours and mine. LOL

Let's just say I have a very unique souvenir to remember my big brother by --- a true work of art destined to be a Stark family heirloom for generations to come.

 

Love you,

Sansa cub


	448. RE: Hammer and Ice by Warhammer123

NED! IT’S SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU! SHAME ABOUT THE LACK OF SERVING WENCHES! SHOULD I BRING SOME WITH ME? HANDS ARE NO GOOD.

HAHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS ABOUT SANSA LIKING STANNIS? THAT’S A JOKE, RIGHT? ALTHOUGH I SUPPOSE IF THEY WANT TO MAKE BABIES IT’S NO SKIN OFF MY NOSE. AS LONG AS I DON’T HAVE TO SEE IT. NAKED STANNIS IS PROBABLY WORSE THAN REGULAR STANNIS.

IS SANSA EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE BABIES THOUGH? I THOUGHT SHE WAS THIRTEEN?

I’M ABOUT TO PASS OUT NOW, BUT I’LL SEE YOU SOON!

-RB


	449. RE: I Don't Want to Worry You, But..... by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I think I need to… _talk_ to you. On the phone. Now.

Mr. Baratheon


	450. Thank You!   by LemonCake

Roose,

I can't tell you how pleased I am with the generous gift you sent me. This MORE than makes up for the confusion sparked by events earlier this morning. To be honest, it was a good drill for our men. It trouble-shot any potential weakness in our security and told us where to tighten up. Plus, my wolves enjoyed themselves. I would offer to return the remains of Ramsay's men, but I'm afraid there aren't any.

The workmanship is exquisite, particularly the attention to detail. You son has a gift and a passion. It's obvious you've encouraged his talents. I will treasure this work of art and it shall be a treasure of House Stark for generations to come.

Just out of curiosity, have you given any thought to my little suggestion? I have some of the most legendary warriors in the Seven Kingdoms scheduled to be at my home within the next 24 hours. It would be a shame if they came all this way and didn't find any good sport.

Again, thank you for the gift.....your apology, and that of your son, is truly accepted. I can't wait to show you where I have it displayed. Such a lovely, lovely token of fealty and affection. I trust you will allow me to show my appreciation some time? To YOU, of course. NOT your son.

Yours faithfully,

Sansa


	451. Thank You! by RooseTheMoose

Sansa,

Thank you very much for your letter back. I have been waiting, dying to hear your response, hoping you would appreciate the gift. I can assure you that my son understands that the closest he will ever come to you is through his talent at creating gifts. In fact, I have informed him that any time you wish for a special present, that he will instantly drop all he is doing to accommodate you.

I hope you do understand know that we truly meant no harm. I am truly your loyal servant though I do understand it will take you much time to install any trust in that. I will do everything I can to prove this to you. I am sure you understand why I will not be able to stop by while so many that are protective and loving of you are there. They are angry and this will understandably turn upon me.

However, when some of the most testosterone of them are gone, I would love to meet with you. Under any precautions you wish to have. I would even submit to Gregor's cavity search if I must. I would do anything for you dearest girl. And I can assure you that your brother is very safe, will never experience such a terrible thing again. In fact, my son's friends will be paying all their paychecks for a month into a fund for your brother's great love of beverage and snack.

As for the worry of Jon, Arya and Rickon, they will not be resurfacing. They have new names, new identities and handlers with tight leashes. They and their handlers are under strict orders to never bother you or your family again. Please know I am thinking of you and your pleasures only.

With Sincere Feeling,

Roose


	452. RE: Thank You!   By LemonCake

Roose,

I really like the idea of you thinking of my pleasure. 

Call my cell. NOW.

Lemon Cake

p.s. Forgive my skepticism, but your son and his men couldn't even keep THEMSELVES on a tight leash. Why should I feel confident they can keep anyone else under control? There is an expression about things running down hill. I trust you have made sure those below you on that hill have felt your displeasure and learned a lesson.

Sorry.....hope ominously phrased warning didn't kill the mood. CALL ME. NOW.


	453. RE:   Thank You!   By LemonCake

Roose,

Gregor just handed me a VERY disturbing report and you are DAMN lucky he didn't show it to Tywin. YET.

Apparently, our team that inspected the box your son's "gift" came in detected traces of anthrax on the outer AND inner packaging......a metal device of some type was removed from the "gift" itself that, upon closer inspection, turned out to be an explosive device! 

Luckily we had every state-of-the-art precaution in place and tragedy was averted, but HOW could your people have been so foolish? EVEN if you had succeeded in killing me, did you not KNOW that the likes of Tywin Lannister, his children, the entirety of House Baratheon ---just for STARTERS --- would not rest until your House and everything connected with you was razed to the ground, burned, and the ground salted???????? I took you for a very intelligent man, Roose. Was I really that mistaken?

I am rattled to the CORE, Roose. Did you have anything to do with this? Or was it Ramsay again? I suggest you get to the bottom of things before the Lannisters/Starks/Baratheons rain down hell upon you and everything you hold dear. You obviously aren't running as tight a ship as you think over there. Loose canons, Roose. LOOSE canons. They sink ships. 

The North Remembers --- and so does Sansa Stark


	454. RE: Forgive but Don't Forget by PrideofthePack

Bravest Little Cub,

Very well done. I am extremely proud of my little lioness. Good diplomacy, excellent observation and very well managed and reported. Thank you for being such a clever little cub (and for keeping your Daddy so well informed. It is an honor, I must say, my fiercest girl. You make me very proud indeed.)

Very wise to keep things smooth with Roose and also very wise to keep away from his son. You have your Pride to aid you should anything untoward happen in the courts or in other ways.We are all proud of you. I will keep my little cub safe even though I know she’s a predator when she must be.

Of course I’d take you into battle. How could I lose with such a marvelous lioness at my side? Especially once you have the chance to practice with your shiny new toy.

While I regret that we can’t be together right now because of the inopportune Baratheon invasion I am glad that my men will be there to keep you safe. They’ll have something else you’ll like.

You don’t need to be brave for right now. Come curl up in your Daddy’s lap, good girl. I think those two pairs of boots would look very handsome--and the ones shined by your lips and hair, not only handsome, but a treasure. You take such good care of your Daddy, little cub and it is well appreciated. 

If you’d like it, I am in seclusion and you could call on your land line to discuss any issues. Best of all though, Daddy could tuck you in (and you’d get a story too for being such a clever, brave cub.   
Shall it be storytime, little girl?

Your  
Daddy Tywin


	455. RE: An Unexpected Gift by PrideofthePack

Dearest Little Cub,

Very well done; proper precautions and discretion. I am glad that you are pleased with Mr. Bolton’s present and I look forward to admiring it with you privately. Such a brave and fierce girl with such teeth and claws! Daddy is so proud.

(Fear not: you’ll never be too fierce to be my little girl. There’s always room on my lap for you, my little ruby cub.)

It’s where I wish you were right now so I could tell you how proud I am myself. I do also recall my little girl gets a story if she wishes. 

I love you too, little cub.

Daddy Tywin


	456. Sansa by RooseTheMoose

Sansa,

You are correct. I would never be so stupid as to try such a thing nor did I ever have such an urge! I am hurt at this accusation and concerned as to who wishes to harm you and frame me. I can assure you that my son and his friends were no where near during the packaging of this gift. That was done by someone under my supervision but if you wish it, I would deliver him to you for questioning if that could satisfy some of this concern.  

Roose


	457. Looky, Looky, Here's the Nooky!   by GoldenBoyKing

Hi LemonCakes;

Hear you've been running around all over the place causing trouble. If you don't want me to cause you some trouble, I want to see you in front of your webcam naked and on all fours like the dog you are. Get ready to howl for me, bitch. 

GoldenBoyKing


	458. Not Barking by WolfGirl

i am not complaining because things are good. i am good. trying to be good. i am. i wear my collar and i don't pull on the leash and i don't need a muzzle because i don't bark. i try not to bark. i mostly don't bark or pull on the leash and i never try to pull on my collar. it doesn't bother me anymore. i call damon master because it is being good. i eat and drink and sleep and do other things when i am told to. i come when i am called. i am good and try to do as i am told. i mostly do as i am told. i try to do as i am told. i got to go to a fancy house and see jon. we could not talk because we are good and we try not to bark. but we touched and saw each other and it wasn't sad to see jon on his hands and knees and it wasn't bad for him to see me like that and we both didn't care that we had leashes or masters. they let us hug and say we loved each other before i had to leave. it was worth having to see the scary man, scarier than master when he is mad at me. it was worth getting hurt after the masters got hurt because i got to see jon. and i am allowed to talk to him on this board so maybe he will see this. master said if i stay very good i can see jon for a real visit. one where we can sit and talk together for a while. i really want to do that so i am being good. master is kind when i am good. he feeds me from his hand then and makes me feel safe on his lap. it is safe there and safe to stay on the ground curled up on his feet. master is safe. when i am good or when he is not mad at something. i hope jon stays good for his master too so i can see him again soon. this is not barking it is just typing because i need to. i hope jon is good so he can go online and see this. i love you jon if you see this. i am being good. please be good. it hurts and it is not safe to be bad. 

The Newly-Declawed,

Wolf Girl


	459. RE:  Jon, it's ME!   By Bran-doll

Hi Jon;

If I've estimated your location correctly based on the ISP address you were communicating though, you should be receiving a little gift soon. Get ready to catch! Hahaha.

Bran-doll.


	460. RE: Thank you!  by LemonCake

Roose,

Forgive my earlier outburst of temper, I fear I may have acted too hastily. Upon giving it further thought, It makes no sense for you to have done something like this, something that could so easily be traced back to you and your son.

You look into things on your end and I will check out things on mine. Someone wants us to go to war, Roose......even if it means sacrificing me to do it. WHO would benefit from a Stark/Bolton war, Roose? Especially one where the odds are so heavily against you?

Call me on my land line. We need to talk. And yes, I mean we need to hold an actual conversation this time.

Sansa


	461. RE: Thank you! by RooseTheMoose

i shall call you immediately. but i think i have found the thread of it. you will not like it at all, dear. this time ramsay was the one to get the proof for you. i am afraid you have been betrayed at the highest and worst of levels. From within, my dear.


	462. RE: Jon, it's ME! By Jon

got it, thanks, bran. you work on finding another way for us to kill that ginger hair cunt who doesn't deserve all your inheritance. you are the last male stark left now, it is yours, dude. just like you have been saying all along.


	463. RE: Manna from Heaven    by Bran-doll

Bran to Three-Eyed-Crow;

So Project Manna From Heaven should be a go any minute now. Leaf and her friends are all organized. Bricks heaved through every window in the joint followed by the payload: A THOUSAND FUCKING CELL PHONES WITH CHARGERS. Boo-yeah! Those losers are going to need snow shovels to clean them all up! Jon should be able to get his mitts on a few if he's fast. I'm not sure if they have Arya in the same place or not, but Jon should be back in regular communications. I just hope he's smart enough to use an unrecognizable code name or we're back to square one. Oh well, I've done what I can. 

Bran-doll.


	464. IMPORTANT by RooseTheMoose

Sansa please read the enclosed messages. Have your experts go over to trace them back for legitimacy. I am so sorry to be the bearer of such deceit towards the most deserving of Starks. If it comforts you in anyway, Jon was never speaking with Bran once we had him. It has always been Ramsay pretended to be his pet. Jon has never been allowed to read the texts. He is only allowed to speak with his sister and no other. he has become very compliant now and so is your sister. neither have been involved in this horrid deceit of Bran's. Forgive me for the terrible news. If there is anything else I can do please let me know.

Yours,

Roose


	465. RE: Important  by LemonCake

Don't worry, Roose.

Daddy and Bran both have a lot in common. That's all I am going to say. When is the last time anyone outside this house has actually SEEN Bran? Three years, wasn't it? 

Don't fuck with Lemon Cake........cause she will BURN your world down to the ground and fuck your miserable bones in the ashes


	466. Sure, Jon    by Bran-doll

Sure "Jon". I'm all about the money. Not. 

If you need anything from me, start with the name of your Call of Duty character, and then I'll consider listening.


	467. Security Breach  by LemonCake

Roose,

An outside party has cannibalized your communication network, meaning THEY now see every word you type, hear every word you speak. Your entire system is infected. You would have infected ME if our firewalls weren't illegal. Time Coding says the intrusion took place within the last half hour.

Sansa


	468. Amateur Hackers   by LemonCake

DO. YOU. WANT. TO. PLAY. A. GAME.?


	469. FUCKERY   by LemonCake

Petyr Baelish cc Tywin Lannister cc Stannis Baratheon cc Brynden Tully

 

Gentleman,

Earlier this evening Winterfell suffered a cyber attack. This basically means any text or e-mail you would receive from me --- or anyone using our band and streaming service --- could have been hacked and/or tampered with.

Steps have been taken and the intruder has been thrown out of the system. But I would suggest all of you have your own experts examine your systems for implanted trojan horses.

I apologize --- whoever carried out this attack knew what they were doing. Unfortunately for them, so do we. 

You might advise you team that the STARK technology used is NOT exactly legal. Technically only the Westeros Defense Department is supposed to have these kinds of capabilities, so I would appreciate your discretion on the matter, as well as that of your tech teams.

Sansa Stark


	470. Security Breach by RooseTheMoose

Thank you, we are on it.


	471. I Will NOT be Ignored!    by Goldenboyking

To LemonCake

Are you fucking ignoring me, bitch? I gave you an order. You KNOW that there will be consequences if you don't obey. I'll grind your face into the dirt and make you beg me for a fucking, you little slut. You have ten minutes to give me that show.

GoldenBoyKing


	472. Good Work!   by LemonCake

Bran,

Fantastic job catching that mess before we were totally exposed. I have warned the Lannisters, Baratheons, and Uncle Brynden. 

Do you think The Children might have had anything to do with this? I know you don't want to think it, and neither do I. But BR is the only other hacker outside of yourself who could have pulled something like this off.

well....that's not really true. If it had been you or BR --- you never would have been caught in the first place. This was an amateur. A talented amateur, but an amateur.

Track them down Bran. Track them down and SHUT them down. I know you have a little side project, but this takes immediate priority. We can't risk not only our own exposure, but that of our closest friends and allies.

Sansa


	473. DEFCON 1  by Lemon Cake

Jory Cassel cc Bran Stark cc Ned Stark cc Roderick Cassel cc Benjen Stark

 

In the aftermath of tonight's attempted Cyber breach......I am raising our defense readiness condition to DEFCON ONE. You all know what this means and I expect you to take the necessary steps that we have planned in this event.

I'll be in touch,

Sansa Stark


	474. RE: Good Work    by Bran-doll

Bran to LemonCake

Least I could do. So sorry about not consulting on the side project. Looks like my efforts to contact Jon were a bust. Hope he enjoys singing hyms. 

Uh ... you didn't read ALL those posts, did you? Because I was just joking. You know that, right?


	475. RE: I Will Not Be Ignored   by Lemon Cake

Oh, really? Because it sure seems like that's EXACTLY what I am doing. Freak!

Your Grandfather told me a little secret. Does "summer's eve" ring a bell, Joffrey?


	476. A Gesture of My Good Will    by LemonCake

Roose,

I don't blame you for not wanting to trust me right now. Quiet frankly, I'm not too sure who to believe, either. But I know what I feel for YOU is real and so I am gambling on that.

We are NOT going to become the X-treme BDSM version of Romeo & Juliet. We will NOT let impotent fools drive a wedge between us.

Look out on the balcony of your study right now, Roose. THAT is a token of my pledge to you. THAT is how important our relationship and the relationship between House Stark and House Bolton is to me.

Let me know what you think. As you can see, I literally could not give you any more than what's waiting for you.

Sansa


	477. Not Barking by DamonDanceForMe

that is being a good girl. we are going to visit the big house again soon. you may have your visit with jon.


	478. Gone to Ground   by LemonCake

Stannis ---

I am in my safe room. Alone. I don't know who I can trust any more. Tonight I found irrefutable proof that someone I trusted with my very life has betrayed me. I don't know how far this conspiracy goes but I am in grave danger, Stannis. To my knowledge, this room cannot be breached. But then, there are ways around everything. If you don't hear from me again by tomorrow morning.......you and Robert turn around and head back to Dragonstone. I am serious. This may be the last thing I ever ask of you, of ANYONE, and I demand you respect my wishes.

I'm so, so sorry. SO sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. Save Robert and save yourself.

I love you

Sansa


	479. Netflix & Chill?   by Bran-doll

Bran to Jojen;

Hey Dude. Wanna come over for Netflics and chill? 

I am so freaking confused right now. Sansa's on the warpath, so I was staying out of her way and fucking with the Boltons. Turns out the war is with the Boltons! Still not sure what it is all about, but she's keeping me in Doritos and coke, so I don't wanna ask too many questions. Aparently the Boltons think she'd be mad at me for trying to contact Jon. Guess his emo face was starting to grind her gears. I don't understand it, but then I never understand most of what my sibs get all upset about. Anyhow, I'm laying low because she doesn't seem to have noticed that it was me that messed with her La Perla undies. Would love to see ya -- just make sure that Old Nan doesn't catch you coming down to the basement. You know how she is.


	480. LEMON CAKE BITCH!   by Goldenboyking

LemonCake

You threatening ME? Oh, it is on, you little ho. I wouldn't fuck you right now even if you did beg me. It would be like tossing a hot dog down a hallway. But you WILL regret this, slutbitch. I promise you that.


	481. RE: LEMON CAKE BITCH!  by LemonCake

Joff,

At this particular moment I find myself regretting a great many things. But threatening you is not one of them.

A day of reckoning is coming for you, Joffrey. And when it does, you will tremble in fear and beg for mercy . And somewhere the gods will let me hear your screams.

Sansa


	482. RE: Did Anyone See That Post?? by Theon_Greyjoy

Hi LorAss, been texting but no reply - sounds like you've been a busy boy! Wow - I can definitely recommend The Ram - hot as fuck and into some serious kinky shit. A real find as slave play is totally my thing but rare to find someone who will play hard. Still there now. Fucking loving every minute.


	483. RE: Gone to Ground by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

I am gravely concerned. I hope I hear from you soon. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold Robert back even if I explained your wishes to him.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold _myself_ back.

If there’s even a slight chance of saving you I will take it, and damn the consequences.

Stannis


	484. Message for The Ram by TheonXXL

Sorry to disturb you but just to let you know that it's getting a little hot in this trunk, hoping you can let me out to play? Promise to be a very good slave ; -)


	485. RE: Beware the Dorito Fairy  by LemonCake

Bran...  
I need you to hack into the safe room system. NOW.


	486. RE: Beware the Dorito Fairy  by Bran-doll

Done.

we're secure. wassup? I just spend a million dollars tricking out a piece of shit dodge on GTA 5. SO boring. I think I have been playing with a four year old. What the FUCK kind of parent lets a 4-year old play GTA 5? In the middle of the damn night? 

Bran-doll


	487. RE: Beware the Dorito Fairy  by LemonCake

BRAN

THIS IS IMPORTANT. I NEED YOU TO FOCUS. I NEED TO BE ABLE TO SECURELY COMMUNICATE WITH YOU AND STANNIS BARATHEON. CAN YOU ARRANGE THAT OR NOT?


	488. No Fucking Around   by Bran-doll

Sis,

Chill. you are secure. It would take Blood Raven to hack you.....and even then I would backtrack him and trap his ass.

What is going on....you are harshing my mellow. I am worried about you.....deep breaths...just take deep breaths


	489. RE: No Fucking Around   by LemonCake

Bran,

This is very important. Is anyone in the basement now besides you and Small Jon? Unless it is Uncle Benjen, you need to have SJ kill them. No. I am not joking. We have been betrayed. I don't have time to explain everything, besides I know you are just going to read what I write to Stannis, anyway.

Have SJ secure the basement and do not open it for ANYONE unless *I* tell you. There's a good chance I may die in the next ten minutes, so I need you to remember what we talked about. Operation Dark Sister. Don't worry about me.....save yourself. FOLLOW THE PLAN. And don't stop to save ANYONE except Benjen, and ONLY if you see him.

I love you, Bran. Never forget that. I know you've whacked off in my lingerie drawers and I have never killed you for it. The orange Dorito crumbs were kind of a dead give away.

The North Remembers

Sansa


	490. RE: No Fucking Around  by Bran-doll

FUCK SANSA

YOU"RE SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME! I DON"T WANT SJ TO KILL JOJEN! WHO HAS BETRAYED US? I AM NOT LEAVING HERE WITHOUT YOU! YOU ARE THE CLOSEST THING TO A NORMAL FAMILY MEMBER I HAVE.


	491. Blood & Betrayal  by LemonCake

Stannis,

Bran has made this a secure line but I don't have much time. Gregor Clegane wants me dead. I don't know if he's still working for the Lannisters or not. But I now realize I have been used as bait.....bait to set up a bloodbath here at Winterfell. I've figured it out now and Gregor knows it. 

Someone has used an apparent threat to me to orchestrate it all. Think about it Stannis -- you and Robert and your best men are on your way. So are my uncles and the Prince of Dorne. And I have opened my doors to dozens of Lannister forces. 

The Boltons were just a ruse, something to distract us so we wouldn't see what was going on. I exaggerated the so-called cyber attack in order to put my men on high alert and slip away from Gregor. But I am on borrowed time. If Tywin Lannister is behind this, he installed this safe room and probably installed some kind of override for just such an event. 

I need you to get in touch with my uncles and turn them around. Then you and Robert do the same. You can't save me or anyone here. I have a plan in place to get my brother to safety....hopefully my Uncle Benjen will go with him. He knows to contact you later after everything has died down.

As soon as I finish typing this, I am going to open the door and empty my gun into Gregor. I figure my odds of surviving him are 10 percent at best. And even if I make it past him, I don't know who else may be in on this. You, Bran, and Benjen are the only people I can trust. The only people I love.

Don't forget me

Sansa


	492. RE: Message for The Ram by TheonXXL

Seriously, dude, the air's getting really thin in this trunk ... Struggling to breathe a little now ... Can you let me out? I promise I will make it worth your while ; -)


	493. RE: Blood & Betrayal by OneTrueKing

Sansa

I don’t know what to say… I will do as you ask, and I am not surprised if Tywin Lannister turns out to be behind all of this. He is a twisted, cruel man who cares nothing for justice.

I am unused to this feeling of fear that is coursing through me. Please be alive. Please answer me.

I will never forget you, precious girl. I will do everything in my power to sort this mess out, I swear it!

Stannis


	494. RE: Message for The Ram by RamFlyr666

Don't worry, mate. I have someone coming to let you out in just a minute. This someone will have weapons, if I were you I wouldn't struggle.

I win,

Ramsay


	495. RE: Message for The Ram by TheonXXL

RamFucker666, get the fuck off this thread, psycho. No business of yours. Piss off.

The Ram I am getting really short on oxygen dude - this is getting serious. Look, there will be no charge for this booking - I had a great time & so the pleasure's all mine. Can give you a discount next time too. But like I mentioned before I have this major awards show to get to, and I'm kind of an honoured guest. Just let me out, man. Please.


	496. RE: Message for The Ram by TheonXXL

DUDE THIS IS FUCKHNG SERIOYS I CANNOT FUCKING BREATHE!!!!! LET JE OUT OR IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!!!


	497. Concerning Trunk Ass by RamFlyr666

Damon,

I know you are just getting here and still have to get your wolf inside, but after you do, please get Theon out of the trunk in case he really is unable to breath. Please restrain him to the cross for me then gag and bag him. If he gives you trouble, use any means besides maiming to get him under control.

Thanks buddy,

Ramsay


	498. RE: Message for The Ram by DamonDanceForMe

Calm down, Theon. I am parking the car right now and will come get you.


	499. Yours Is The Fury  by Bran-doll

Stannis,

Look dude, I've barely spoken two words to you and I have known you my entire life. But one thing I know about you is you have balls of steel. So are you really gonna leave my sister here to die?

Sansa has her faults -- believe me, no one knows that better than I do. But you don't know all the fucked-up shit that has been done to her since before she could walk and talk. Anyone else would be rocking & drooling in a padded cell. But she has done whatever it took to protect me and to protect the Stark name. You don't know ANYTHING about what has gone on in this house and for your sake I hope you never do.

She even planned for this. Well, not THIS, this. But she planned out what I should do if we ever got attacked and separated. I should be half-way to a safe house en route to Essos right now but I'm not leaving her. Because she is fucked up but she is amazing and she deserves better than to be raped and murdered by someone like the fucking Mountain!

Sansa is like some wizard mirror -- she shows people whatever they want to see. But she's not like that with you. Don't get pissy but I have read all the messages and texts you guys have exchanged. I may also have listened to some phone calls. You are a fuckin' perv and if we survive this I am gonna punch your face for sayin' half that shit to my sister. But she actually loves you and was willing to sacrifice herself to save you. Think about that when you are sittin' your ass safe and sound back in KL. 

I'm findin' my Uncle Benjen and we're gonna go save my sister. 

Bran Stark


	500. Jon, I am HERE! by WolfGirl

master was out he came back and told me we were coming to the scary man house. he said i can't visit yet because he has to get something out of the trunk. i am here in the house, he said you are here too. i can see you soon but i want you to know i am here if you don't know yet. i want to visit with you master said i could he said we were good and it was a reward. i miss you and i am happy we can talk.


	501. To Supplier by Dr.Q

The new place of employment is well stocked if somewhat deserted of all but armed men. A young boy I believe is playing computer games somewhere judging by the sounds. My new lovely employer has shut herself away with other important things. In order for me to offer her the most of my services, I need a few things. I may have left some things behind with you at the other lab and would be most appreciative if you could send them.

I do believe that most things are searched before entering. So please be careful when packing my jars of burn liquids, this is of utmost concern as they are dangerous to the touch. My new client has some branding issues that need this medication immediately. Please send the other items from my lab that you know are essential to me.

Thank you so much for your assistance in this matter,

Dr. Q


	502. To Supplier by Supplier

Everything in your former lab is still in good order. It shall be carefully packed and delivered to you ASAP. If you need anything further, please let us know.

Thank you very much for your service, it is always a rewarding experience to work with you!

 


	503. To Sansa, My Love by RooseTheMoose

I saw my gift from the balcony. You have my heart, you know that don't you? Do not despair, I am going to help you, my love.

Roose


	504. To Bran by RooseTheMoose

I know you have no reason to trust me, considering what my son and his friends tried to do. Please understand I write this only because I feel your sister is in very dire straits! Both of you actually! You must stay as far from Gregor as you can. Do not act suspicious in any way but when you are contacted by Qyburn, you must go to him. Please do as he asks and listen to what he says, you will need to work together to help save yourself and Sansa.

I hear you are excellent with electronics and explosives. This might be your chance to prove it, boy. If needed, my men are as close as they can get without being seen by the Lannisters. Send a signal and they are yours.

Roose Bolton


	505. Some Crazy Shit!  by G0dOtitsNwine

Jamie....

You might notice I am sounding sober. There's a reason for it. Fearing for your life will sober you up pretty damn fast.

So...I'm out in the garden, pissing out some of the Stark's horrible domestic wine on a garden gnome ( cos you know gnomes piss me off... fuckin ableist shit ) when I see some skinny teenager come out of the main house and go to a car. Right when he gets there, one of OUR men walks up and shoots him right in the back of the head. WTF?

Somethin' is going on here bro, somethin' worse than the fucking cold and terrible wine. hit me back when you get this

T


	506. RE: Yours Is The Fury by OneTrueKing

Bran,

Of course I’m not sitting by in King’s Landing. Don’t be an imbecile. I’m nearby. I need your intelligence regarding the security around the house. Is there a way for me and my men to enter safely?

As for your eavesdropping -- don’t you know that’s very rude?

If Sansa is still alive I intend to protect her at all cost. I know she is a particularly strong young woman, and if she has been through half of what you indicate she has been through, that would explain why she would have felt the need to act as a ‘mirror’ as you say. It is not an unusual survival mechanism.

Get the intel regarding the security system plus anything relevant to me as soon as possible.

Stannis


	507. House Guest from Hell  by G0dOtitsnwine

Sansa,

sorry I have been a drunken asshole the past couple of days. I appreciate you bringing me here and hiding me from my father and Gregor. I am also sorry I called you a whore. I know better than most how Tywin always gets his way, so what you do is not my business or my place to judge.

Right now,though....I think something bad is going on at the main house. I just saw some teenager get shot point blank in the head by one of my dad's men. I am sure Gregor is breathing down your neck as we speak, but you need to keep an eye on him. 

hit me back. if I don't hear from you in the next 10 minutes I am coming up to the house and I really don't want to do that because I like staying alive

Tyrion


	508. RE: Yours Is The Fury  by Bran-doll

HOLD ON

SOMEONE JUST KILLED MY BOYFRIEND IN OUR FUCKIN DRIVEWAY

NOTHING FROM SANSA SINCE HER MESSAGE TO YOU

 

BRAN


	509. Bran by Qyburn

Bran,

I am sorry to bother you but some packages have arrived for me in the lobby. I am unable to carry them with my back back and servants seem to be lazing and hiding. Would you please carry these down to my labs?

Thank you,

Qyburn 


	510. RE: Bran  by Bran-doll

WTF DUDE?

PEOPLE ARE GETTING MURDERED AROUND HERE AND YOU WANT ME TO MAKE LIKE A PACK MULE AND HAUL YOUR SHIT?

GO FUCK YOURSELF

BRAN


	511. RE: Some Crazy Shit!  by WhiteSatin

T....

that is fucked. get inside the guest house and stay there. I am trying to get hold of Father but he's not answering.

Addam Marbrand and I should be there with his unit within the next few hours --- not in time to do anything if shit goes sideways. stay put and let me know if you hear anything else. 

Any sign of Sansa?

J


	512. RE: Yours Is The Fury by OneTrueKing

Bran,

Thanks for the intel you sent. I have a plan. If your sister is still alive I will find her and then I’m getting you both out of there.

Stannis


	513. RE: Some Crazy Shit!  by G0dOtitsNwine

I sent Sansa a message telling her what I saw and warning her to keep an eye on Gregor. If our men are turning, you know he will be the first dog to bite.

Haven't heard anything back from her --- I don't have a weapon but do you think I should try and make it into the main house to find her?

I know what we're both thinking. You know as well as I do who is behind this. Fucking bastard

T


	514. Get Qyburn  by LemonCake

qyburn

i need your help i've been shot and can't stop the bleeding don't talk to anyone but my brother bran or my uncle benjen if you can find them am in my suite...go thru the walk-in closet and when you see the puddles of blood you will have found me

sansa stark


	515. RE: Some Crazy Shit  by WhiteSatin

T  
Stay put. You can't do her any good if you get yourself killed. Maybe try her brother or uncle.

He's not answering my calls. Either is Cersei.

Lock the doors and don't open for anyone but me. I know you don't have a gun but look around for at least a kitchen knife. aim for the back of their knees and then their throats

I am driving as fast as I can

J


	516. RE: Yours Is The Fury  by Bran-doll

SANSA'S BEEN SHOT

LOSING LOTS OF BLOOD

IN THE SAFE ROOM. SEE THE BLUE PRINTS I SENT YOU FOR HOW TO GET THERE

GO TO THE GLASS DOORS TO MY DAD'S STUDY -- JORY WILL MEET YOU. YOU CAN TRUST HIM

I CAN'T LEAVE SANSA

SHE'S NOT BREATHING AND HER LIPS ARE BLUE


	517. RE:Get Qyburn by QyburnMD

on my way. your brother is not interested in what i have to say. i tried already to reach him but i will try again. he is very rude.


	518. A Report by Dr.Q

Mr. Bolton,

Sansa has been shot and I am attending to her injuries now. She is without any assistance as her brother Bran would not help me. I can find no one here to trust, there is a large specimen shot and writhing on the floor. The house seems empty where I am, I must concentrate on patching up our mutual friend. She is quite wounded but will live, I think. Please get here and send your men to help us.

Dr. Qbyurn


	519. Qyburn  by BabyWolf

Qyburn,  
The supplies you have asked for are being taken to your lab. 

Let me know if you need anything else.

Save her if you want to walk out of here alive yourself


	520. Concerning Your Sister by QyburnMD

Your sister has been shot. I am going to attend her if I can get through. I need your help whether you like it or not. If you don't want to listen to Roose or myself, please listen to your sister who sent for me. She asked for me to get you or someone named Benjen to escort and help me. I am not waiting considering your callous response before. I hope you or this Benjen do decide to help your sister.

Qyburn


	521. Calling All Wolves, by RooseTheMoose

All of you. Now.

Ramsay and Damon, that means you too. You both will be leaving with me in five minutes. Cage your pets and move out.

Roose


	522. RE: Yours Is The Fury by OneTrueKing

Bran,

I'm following your instructions, but my men are running into Bolton men. Friend or foe?

Stannis


	523. Attack on Winterfell  byGoldenBoy1

Father,

For the last time, what is REALLY going on at Winterfell? Teenagers are getting shot by OUR men. 

Jamie


	524. How is she?  by BabyWolf

Bran,

How is she? Tell that quack he will wish he had never been born if anything happens to her

Benjen


	525. RE: How is She?  by Bran-doll

fuck, uncle benjie......there is SO much blood and she is so pale and when I got here she wasn't breathing and her lips were blue The doctor is working on her and he seems to know what he's doing. SmallJon is with us and we need you to rendezvous with Jory and the Baratheons....he is bringing them in thru the side door of the study

she killed the fuckin mountain....but I think he killed her, too


	526. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by wolf

i hear yo downstairs. i am up stairs master havent decided if i can see ou. i hope ican. i have been good., i do as hesays. i mis you arya. i hope to see yo. master is generous and i hae behaved. i need to hold yu…

someone is onthe stairs. i hope i can se you.


	527. RE: Yours is The Fury  by Bran-doll

Stannis,

the doctor shot a needle of adrenaline straight into her heart like in pulp fiction and got it beating again. there is blood everywhere, I am slipping in it, the doctor is slipping in it

he says if he can stop the bleeding long enough to get her on the table she might live

if you and uncle robert want to see her before if you and uncle robert want to see her you'd better some as soon as you and our men have secured things 

she killed the fucking mountain but i think he killed her, too


	528. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by WolfGirl

master said they had to all go away and help someone. he said good pets good rewards and we can visit. he says the skinner man will stay and let us visit but we must be very good. if i stay good it isn't bad, jon...master can be nice, he can be. i just have to listen and obey and i will so i can see you and so i can stay safe. its how we can stay safe. i learned this, he taught me this. 

skinner is coming to get us and let us visit in the living room. i am so grateful to master for this, i won't bark, i won't run or be bad. i won't say things i can't or won't or should not...i want to hug you jon i miss you here comes skinner i hear him and i am a good girl so i must go hush and sit quiet for him. i will see you in a minute i think.

 


	529. RE: Stannis by OneTrueKing

Mr. Bolton,

I will ask my men not to harm your men for now. I am on my way to Sansa's side. If I see Bran I will ask him why he is not responding to your messages.

Stannis


	530. RE: Yours is The Fury by Bran-doll

re The Boltons

For now they are friend, but I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them


	531. Stanis by RooseTheMoose

My men are standing down for the moment. I believe you are a true friend of Sansa but we aren't full of time to discuss it.

We are breaching Winterfell to save Sansa who has been shot. Qyburn, my personal doctor is with her now. Bran is not responding to my messages.

Roose


	532. Sansa  by Bran-doll

Roose

I have told the Baratheons not to engage you but I don't trust you yet

Qyburn is working on Sansa but it doesn't look good I have never seen so much blood in my life and he stuck a fuckin needle in her HEART

she killed gregor. The Baratheons are clearing the downstairs and our men are sweeping the upstairs and roofs

The Baratheons obviously took out some Lannisters on the grounds, but they couldn't have got to all of them. Cover the grounds and out buildings. Jory and Benjen will coordinate with you. I guess you know the truth about Willem. He's Benjen's right-hand. He's here with us in case any of your men recognize him. Sansa has a friend in the guest house please don't hurt him enough innocent people have died today

Bran Stark


	533. RE: Yours Is The Fury by OneTrueKing

Bran,

Robert and I are outside, let us in!

Stannis


	534. Sansa Shot  by G0dOtitsNwine

J

Some guy who looked like he'd just left his job at the carnival knocked on the door and said Sansa's been shot. He didn't know details but said it didn't look good.

You know our evil father and that vicious cunt of a sister are behind this. I doubt they meant to get Sansa killed, but they meant to get a lot of other people killed. It looks like the Starks are being joined by Baratheon Storm Troopers and the collection of Carnies that Bolton employs.

I'm not sure you want to be charging in here -- they will most definitely shoot first and not ask questions later. Apparently the brother told them not to hurt me and that is probably the only reason my little body is still breathing

You should definitely hold back and try and get in touch with Father. HE started this mess, he needs to help clean it up!

T


	535. Winterfell Update  by LittleBird

Mr. Baelish,

It would appear Stark, Baratheon, and Bolton forces have teamed up to secure the main house, out buildings, and most of the grounds. Baratheon Storm Troopers have sealed off all the gates. If there are any Lannisters still alive, they would have had to go through the woods and the Starks have loosed their wolves and the Boltons have turned out a pack of vicious looking hounds.

Details from inside the house are sketchy, though it would appear one teenage male has been killed, likely Bran Stark. We have heard reports that Sansa Stark has also been killed but we cannot confirm that. Clegane is DOS.

Little Bird


	536. RE: Message For The Ram by TheonXXL

The Ram dude I am so sorry I am so totally sorry if I have done something to offend you ... I'm just really scared right now that I've fucked up I'm just really confused I don't know what's going on ... This guy Damon came and fucking forced me to ... He just made me do stuff & it hadn't been stuff I'd agreed to do ... Plus I hadn't thought this was a threeway thing I mean he's pretty hot but I just ... He said it was that I'd made you mad and that I hadn't been good and ... I had kind of hoped I'd been good a good lay and you seemed pretty happy and ... Dude I'm really fucking scared right now. Please can we just end this booking now and I'll just go home no questions asked? Also, I fell off that fucking contraption he put me on and have smashed my face up can someone take me to ER if it isn't too much trouble?


	537. RE: Jon I am HERE! by wolf

arya, if uo found the compute, im in masters room upstairs. I hope yo will write back  
master allowed us to write while he away, yo need not worry. you tell skinner if he ask. iam glad master let me se ou again and happy to hold yo again. it is hard not talk i want to hear yur voice ...  
Pleas writ me bak my sweet sister


	538. RE:  Attack on Winterfell  by Goldenboy1

Father,

Eyes on the ground say our forces have been attacked by a coalition made up of unspecified troops and apparently it's a rout. I can't get anyone to respond to calls or texts. Two-way radio communication is also down.

On advice, will not advance further until we have more information.

Thought you would like to know Sansa has been shot and is likely dead. Apparently she or one of her men took out your favorite pet.

No matter what reason you have for doing this, I will NEVER forgive you. And if she dies, you will never see me again.

Jamie


	539. Help Please? by r

pls help bad way need help v dark think underground v scared get mom pls someone pls?


	540. RE: Attack on Winterfell by PrideofthePack

Jaime,

This operation is having serious setbacks.  
Nothing was ever supposed to happen to Sansa. Nothing.  
I tried to provide for her and keep her safe.  
I knew and expected collateral damage.  
Stay out of the way. I do not want you ambushed. We have already lost enough men.   
I am doing all I can to reach Sansa.

I will provide further information when I am aware. I will tell you if and when you are needed. I will do what I can to retake the day.

Tywin


	541. RE: Attack on Winterfell by WhiteSatin

Sansa’s been shot and it looks terrible. She’s with Stannis.  
You’ve lost our cub.   
Your cub.  
Our fucking treasure.  
I have no words for you.

Jaime


	542. RE: Help Please? by r

pls master not mad? will be good if sell back pls? sam v bad so sell back pls?


	543. RE: Help Please? by RamFlyr666

Why should I believe you, Rickon? I gave you every chance. Besides, consider the things I have done to you, what could he be doing that could be worse? Nice try, small fry. 

Sad thing is, I really did enjoy you if it weren't for your mouth and attitude. You kept trying to run, kept trying to fight me then you never stopped being disrespectful. Perhaps all that is making you so desperate to make me buy you again is that this owner found a way to make you behave.


	544. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by WolfGirl

i am here, skinner said i can use the computer to talk to you. i made him call master to ask so i was good. if i was bad and didn't ask maybe i couldn't see you later. jon i heard them and they talked about something but i am not barking i can't bark because it gets me in trouble. so i want to tell you but i can't. the masters were talking and they said about a name i don't really know it but i think maybe you remember. i can and don't remember because it would be bad and i am good all the time most of the time because lying is bad and if i lie that hurts its not safe so most of the time i am good. but i heard a name and it makes me cry but i don't know why. it must be really bad like master says if just hearing it makes me cry. but its a name and the name was here but is gone but maybe your master might take him back i heard him say so. i don't know if that is bad or good or safe or hurt. it makes me cry now just to think about it. if i cry and skinner sees he will want to know why and that might be bad. i have to go dry my eyes so he doesn't see.


	545. RE: Message for The Ram by RamFlyr666

How dumb can one man be? Truly?

Damon Dance For Me...works for the Boltons?

Friend of Ramsay Bolton?

Who you read was trying to kidnap Theon Greyjoy?

And you are??????

Don't worry, I will come personally to put you back on that contraption you fell out of. Moron.


	546. Roose Bolton By Qyburn

She will live, I sent someone to tell that rude obnoxious little brat.


	547. RE:Help Please? by WolfGirl

is this you? i will get in trouble if i am bad but is this you? don't say the name if it is because its a bad name and it makes me cry. if master hears me if any master hears barking or that name i will not be safe i will hurt i will be bad not good then i can't visit jon so i have to be good and not bark but is this you?


	548. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by wolf

don't cry arya, we ar safe for now. what name ? rickon? wil he take rickon back? master will be away forsome time, messages will be gone then.. Please answer aeya, its ok.. Im so glad to write to you. be gohd and skinner will not hurt you. pleas answer, what ramsy said about rickon? try remember. i love yo sis, i dont want you hurt. I promise you wont be hurt, please dont cry. if quiet skinner will not know , and messages wil be gone wen they return 

jon


	549. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by WolfGirl

sold and gone somewhere else but ramsay thinks he is not safe he might buy back but don't say bad name it hurts its not safe please we have to be good. i am scared so scared but i saw him online he has message under r and it is bad he is not safe he is hurt bad worse then our masters not like damon who is kind and always safe when i am good and he is not mad.  can can you ask ramsay to buy him back or will you be not safe and not be good? don't get hurt please. we have to be good have to not bark have to not make masters angry so we can visit and not hurt. i am being good skinner is not hurting me only made me touch him and i did so he would not hurt me i am good even if i did cry.


	550. Sam_Well by RamFlyr666

Hey,

Just wanted to check in with you. I have been hearing some rather disturbing things concerning your new and my old pet. By the way, I wasn't aware perhaps of the type of swap I was getting into. The girl isn't exactly what I was hoping for and would like to swap back. If you aren't up for that, how about I buy back Rickon from you and I will find another owner for the girl.

I am a bit concerned for the boy's health. You do know he is only fifteen, right? I mean removing a few small body parts is probably considered bad...but when you said you wanted to eat a boy alive, I really thought you were joking. This girl has chunks, large fucking chunks taking out of every part of her you didn't show me! I mean, she is missing most of her thighs, dude! A bit too much for me. I am guessing she just didn't taste good and that is why you sold her alive. I am guessing because you ate her tongue so I couldn't ask her.

I will pay you for him, I want Rickon back. Hell, even his cold blooded sister wouldn't want to hear someone cannibalized her littlest brother. If you don't give him back, I may just have to have my father tell her of it. You won't want to imagine what she would do to you. Give him back and I will pay you for him. Do not eat that kid, he might be a snot nosed brat, but even he doesn't deserve that.  


	551. RE: Sam_Well by Sam_Well

RamFlyer666

I haven't laughed so fucking hard in a long, long time. Yeah, he did end up looking a lot like a girl by the time I'd finished with him. And the legendary LorAss ain't got such a great ass now half of it's missing, yeah?

I appreciate that we didn't physically meet when we did the drop-off, & so trust is going to be thin on the ground. I apologise - my fault for insisting on keeping such a low profile. Unlike you, I stay off the radar. And while the cops sniff around your crotch, they still have absolutely no fucking clue who the hell I am. In fact, I've been throwing a few crumbs your way over the past few weeks. I'm guessing they'll be coming to 'talk' quite soon. Thanks for the trade, by the way - your DNA on that kid has been pretty helpful.

Oh, the kid? I don't plan to eat him - I've buried him alive on your estate. He has a phone, though, so - if you're that concerned - you might want to ring him. Someone for the little guy to talk to during his last few days on earth. Or, should I say, under it.

So, it's been great catching up. I know you'll be going crazy trying to work out who I am, and how to find me. So I'll give you this one thing. We have met before.


	552. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by jon

i will ask ramsy about rickon, i promis. Grt him back... you are being good sis, im glad damon leave yu alone wen you are fgood... Plaese let skinner not touch you, he should not... i wish i could protect you my sister, im sorry... I love you so. I wil tell skinner to not touchyou again., is he by you? where ar you now?, can you see him from wher you ar?..


	553. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by WolfGirl

nonono! he will hurt us he will hurt us both for saying anything please don't i am going to be a good girl and you need to be a good boy. skinner will hurt us if you bark, do not bark. if he tells damon i was bad master will be mad and it will be not safe i will hurt please if i just do what skinner says he won't tell master i was bad but he said if i didn't do what he said he would tell master make master mad make master hurt me. please don't bark please! 


	554. RE: Message for The Ram by Theon_Greyjoy

Shit, dude. Busted. Pity that I got out, and I guess I won't see you again - or, at least, for a while. Would have loved to play longer. You might want to check on your friend 'Damon' or whoever the fuck that was who tried to stop me leaving. He wasn't in a good state when I left.

Oh, and send my regards to my little 'brother', Rickon. He was pretty upset when I last saw him. He used to get like that after we'd fucked. Did he do that with you? Fucking heaven, wasn't it?

Anyway, it's been fun. Don't suppose you'll be giving me a 5 star review, but I'll live. A lot longer than you, at a guess.

Enjoy.


	555. RE: Jon, I am HERE! by jon

i know you ar scared sistr, please listen. i need you to get away, you shouldnt go through this. please,, it hurts me se you like this,Its only skinner and us. i lure him up her, sp you can run.. pleas arya, i love you, i need youto be safe...dont be scared, dont cry, please. you were always brave, can yo be now?


	556. master please by WolfGirl

master please i am scared i am scared i am a good girl am trying to be good and not barking but jon is good boy but he is scared and he says skinner can't touch me anymore and i should run from the bad touching but skinner will make you mad at me he will make me hurt and i just want to be good i am scared but i know not to run, running is bad it is not safe it is hurt so i won't run but master i am scared for me and jon and you are not here to tell me what to do please i wish you were here so i could be good at your feet. then i can visit jon and tell him i am good and him to be good and never to run or bark. please if skinner gets mad at him or hurts us i am trying to not bark or run or cry.


	557. Damon by RamFlyr666

Damon get the gardeners and some shovels and start digging. fucking lunatic cannibal buried rickon alive in the fucking yard. find him.


	558. To WolfGirl by Damon

I am back and downstairs. Tell Skinner that I said to come downstairs to where I am that I need his help. You are not in trouble, you are a good girl and it was good to tell me what happened. Go tell Skinner and lay down. I will see you later, I am busy right now.

Master


	559. RE: Help Please? by RamFlyr666

listen very carefully to me, pet. you are under the dirt in my yard that is where sam put you. do you hear that shoveling above you? we found you and are digging you out. stay very calm for me. if you hear us yelling for you, yell back.


	560. RE: Help Please? by r

master no digging? can't hear digging?? master there's only silence? bad sam said other ones buried? master are you digging for me?


	561. RE: Message for The Ram by Theon_Greyjoy

PS I almost forgot. Jon says hi. Did you honestly believe I would leave him? He's the fucking love of my life. And he's pretty fucked up, dude. I got to hand it to you. But I don't need to add that it wouldn't be in your best interests to come looking. But, that's your call. Just take this as a warning. If you come anyway near him, you're fucked. I mean that both literally and figuratively, by the way.


	562. Ramsay by DamonDanceForMe

Found Rickon, he is still alive but dirty as all fuck and chewed up a bit...for real, someone tried to eat this kid i think! also, i broke skinner's arm so hope you don't need him for anything..he was fucking around with my wolf girl. gonna go see her and i will leave your pet tied up in the bathroom with Luton to watch him. He needs a bath. I hurt too much from that fucker earlier, sprained my damned wrist and got a concussion from him! You owe me Ramsay!

Damon


	563. Status Report  by Blackfish63

Sansa Stark cc Benjen Stark cc Jory Cassel 

 

Have established beach head not far from your locale

Observed suspicious movement and took fire from what appear to be Lannister men

RV has questioned a prisoner and learned of the attack

Need to know your status as well as status of any Lannisters still present

keep your men out of the treeline unless they can be easily identified as friendlies we have set up sniper posts

The Blackfish


	564. RE: Status Report  by BabyWolf

Blackfish

SNAFU

Have managed to eliminate all known Lannisters at present time but my gut tells me we may have some turn cloaks in our ranks

Losses have been minimum but Sansa is down

Some quack she hired has had her on the table for the last five hours touch n go

be proud of her --- she took out Gregor Clegane while taking fire from him

Not entirely pleased with what Bran is calling "Bad News Bears" coalition ------ our men plus Baratheon elite Storm Troopers and some savage mutts from Roose Bolton

Stannis and Robert Baratheon are both here --- Stannis has taken over much of what Sansa would normally be doing , Robert passed out a couple of hours ago

Have sent the Boltons packing for now as i don't trust them but our men confirm they were seen taking out Lannisters

unconfirmed reports say Bolton's mutts may have taken some captured lions with them for "purposes"

Normally would advise you to come to the House but it may be good to keep an established secondary base nearby in order to flank any other Lannister attack

Jory has passed word re the treeline just be advised we have Stags amongst our numbers and they are definitely friendlies

will update you more on our girl as soon as I know anything more

Benjen


	565. RE: Status Report  by Blackfish63

Benjen

Let me know the minute you know ANYTHING about Sansa

If Lannisters are behind this you can bet your ass your have turn cloaks in your midst --- their gold buys a lot of loyalty just hope the rot doesn't run too deep

Stannis Baratheon has a brilliant tactical mind -- I'd let him take point if I were you 

Barristan may be paying you a visit soon to coordinate strategies 

Right now we are maintaining defensive positions and have set up snipers on both sides of the main road up to the house

Those damn woods are where the danger is -- if anyone is going to try and mount a sneak attack, that will be where it comes from

Confer with Stannis, but I would think about calling back the Boltons to patrol the woods -- they know the land better than the Stags and you want to keep the bulk of your people around the house

The Blackfish


	566. Sansa Stark medical update  by TheGoodSon

Roose,

Just thought I would give you an update on Sansa --- she's still in surgery but Qyburn says her chances are good if she has held on this long. He is shady as fuck but I guess I don't need to tell YOU that. I just hope he's as good as you say.

I know you don't want me around Ramsay and his men.....but Benjen thinks we may need them back here to patrol the woods. That's likely where the Lannisters will attack next WHEN they attack. I will stay here and avoid contact. Just make sure they know not to provoke the wolves. They've gotten a taste for man flesh recently thanks to your bastard.

I'm not sure I understand everything that's going on with you and Sansa, but something tells me this isn't just a recent thing, at least on YOUR end. If she lives, she might have a chance at a decent life with Baratheon. He seems like the type who'll take care of her and get her some help. If you are actually capable of caring for her you might keep that in mind.

Will update you on Sansa when I know more,

Willem


	567. Shit is BEYOND Fucked  by G0dOtitsNwine

Jamie,

Sansa's friend Willem just paid me a visit. Obviously they don't trust me because I'm a Lannister but Willem knows I love Sansa and hate Father and was at least willing to tell me that Sansa is still alive but has been in surgery for hours. I can only imagine the kind of "doctor" they are using, though if the Baratheon's brought him maybe he's not a quack. He didn't take my phone or the computer here but I am sure every word is being monitored. 

I don't know much else. Every so often I hear gunfire. The worst part is I am afraid to get drunk for fear I will wake up in some dungeon with Roose Bolton staring at me with those creepy dead eyes of his. 

Do you know how awful it is to be cold, scared, and going thru the DT's? At least they have Netflix. I've been watching movies with that guy who always dies in everything --- the dude from LOTR? Yeah....he made some movie about soldiers in the snow during WW2 ---- NOT helping me with my anxiety. Of course he is gonna die, I can just tell.

SO. Have you decided what side you are gonna be on when Father comes? Cos you know he IS coming. He can't stand to lose. If you defect, you might have to kill half your men. I know Marbrand is your boy, but you don't know who owes allegiance to Tywin's money or Cersei's cunt.

I'll let you know if I hear more about Sansa. This is SO fucked up. If she lives, I think you guys should cut her loose and let her try and build some kind of normal life that doesn't involve licking Father's boots and sucking your cock while Cersei eats her out. She's still a child, Jamie, albeit a really fucked up one, and she is just trying to make you guys happy. It's sick.

Tyrion


	568. Tarentino Nightmare   by Bran-doll

Bran to Three-Eyed-Crow

Man, things are going crazy here! I have seen some shit in the last 24 hours that you would not believe. Jogen got shot! A quack stickin' a needle into my my sister's heart! And now there's like a freaking army wandering around with seriously freaky guns and nightvision googles. I'm hiding out in the server room -- it's getting so bad that I'm tempted to open a bag of Doritos in HERE! Can you believe it?! It's like a bad ...

...

...

Wait ... crap. Is this all a trip? It is, isn't it. I KNEW those pills of Arya's were a bad idea. Oh well, at least it is fun. I'll keep pretending it is all real until the smack wears off just in case some of it is real. I just can't tell anymore, and better to be safe. 

Jogen's gonna pee himself laughing at me. Oh well, the good news is that I can go get myself a bowl of Fruit Loops now.


	569. RE: Status Report by OneTrueKing

To the Blackfish CC: Bran

Sansa is still in critical condition. I want to get her out of this hellhole. I’m calling in a chopper.

Bran, are you still functioning? I’m going to need all the information the helicopter pilot will need to land here.

Blackfish - will we be able to transport her safely? My men will of course help cover us, but snipers would have more oversight.

Stannis


	570. RE: Status Report   by Blackfish63

Stannis,

My men will of course lend what cover they can, but they are set up in trees and the helicopter is going to need to land in the open -- between distance and darkness it could be dicey

I evac-ed enough wounded during the Nine Penny wars to know you can't take them anywhere until they are stable. You know that yourself. 

We can't let our personal feelings cloud our judgement. Not when her life is on the line. Listen to what the doctors say and if they say she can be moved then I will personally set up a perimeter ring to get you out.

You don't want to hear this and I don't want to say it, but you guys will be sitting ducks in a chopper if anyone has any kind of rockets or heat seekers. Lannister pockets run deep.

The Blackfish


	571. RE: Status Report   by Bran-doll

Bran to Stan re San

No problemo, my brother, my captain, my king! Gandalf the Grey has returned as Gandalf the White and has provided all information for the landing of the eagle to carry our Luthein away from Mount Doom. Shall I also be whisked away by eagle, or should I summon Shadowfax to carry me into battle against the hoards of orcs poised to ravish our fair bodies? .


	572. RE: Status Report by OneTrueKing

To the Blackfish CC: Bran

You bring up fair points Blackfish. I won’t attempt to move Sansa until her condition is stable, but it will take time to arrange for a chopper to come.

Regarding heat seeking missiles and such… I have a plan.

Bran - from what I could understand of your bizarre message you want to know if you have a spot on the chopper? Yes you do. Especially if you send me all the information on the crypts beneath Winterfell and the tunnels.

Stannis


	573. RE: Winterfell Update by LittleBird

Baelish,

At this time my cover remains in tact.....no one suspects me but the Baratheons are suspicious of EVERYONE. Your sweetling appears to have survived surgery, and by the looks of the quack who is working on her, that is nothing shy of a miracle.

The Stags have this place sealed up tighter than a drum and sent the Boltons packing, though I hear mumblings about them coming back to patrol the woods.

The Fat Stag has been passed out for hours and the other one is calling all the shots and hovering over the girl.

No sign of the Lannisters yet but the dwarf is still in the guest house. Cassel has guards on him and Baratheon wants him moved to the main house asap.

Let me know when you need me to take action.

Little Bird


	574. RE: Status Report by OneTrueKing

Jory Cassel cc Brynden Tully cc Benjen Stark cc Bran Stark

In the interests of security, I want a detail of men to transport the Lannister dwarf from the guest house here to the main house. Lock him in one of the basement rooms and and put two guards outside the door.

Stannis Baratheon


	575. Concerns  by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

Do I want to know why there has been no sign of Ned Stark during this mess? Or why neither he nor his wife have bothered to check on their daughter while she's fighting for her life?

Stannis


	576. RE: Concerns   by BabyWolf

Stannis

No, you don't.

Benjen


	577. RE: Hammer & Ice  by WARHAMMER123

NED WHERE ARE YOU? JUST WOKE UP AND READY FOR ACTION. 

ROBERT


	578. Mutual Interest  by Goldenboyking

To RamFlyr666

I believe we have mutual interests. A certain ex-pet of mine slipped the leash a couple of years back and she's been getting positively feral. She needs a sharp lesson. I'm sure that with a firm hand she'll remember her training. She talks a good game, but she's more fragile than she lets on. 

Unfortunately, she's been causing you some trouble lately. I think you know who I mean. A certain red haired wolf? She's a bit under the weather, but if you don't take action, she's bound to pop up again, peeing on people's lawns. Right now an old scheme of hers may cause you serious trouble. If you don't know what I am talking about, I suggest that you make inquiries into the identity of a certain "Willem". I think you'll find his face familiar. Your father already has.

If you don't move quickly, you stand to lose everything. 

Your Friend, the GoldenBoyKing


	579. RE: Concerns   by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

In that case, I will need your help with Robert. He is awake now and insisting on seeing Ned. Though unethical, perhaps it would be best if you were to slip him what I believe is commonly referred to as a "mickie" ? This should keep him out of our hair for a while. But eventually both he and I will require answers. I have a feeling we won't like them.

Stannis


	580. RE: Status Report  by Bran-doll

Gandalf to Aragorn;

Of course I know the Mines of Moria. I got full schematics right here. But how do I know you are the REAL true king Aragorn? All that is gold does NOT glitter. Right now you are talking like Stannis Baratheon. No fun, dude! If you don't play, it is gonna be all 'drums in the deep', and 'we cannot get out' for you.

Man, this is an awesome trip!


	581. Sweet Luthien  by Bran-doll

My Fair Luthien,

Do not fear, Gandalf the White is working with Isildur's Heir to free you from Sauron's Evil grip. Or is it Melkor who has you?

have you ever noticed how much dad looks like Boromir? That's fuckin trippy as shit

I don't know what Arya has been chargin' for those pills, but it ain't enough. I took a couple more cos I was having some bad lucey's and now I can TASTE colors


	582. Hi Dad!  by Goldenboyking

Hi Dad;

I know we've had our differences, but there is something I think you need to know. Your best friend Ned hasn't been seen in months. By anyone. Except, of course, for sweet Sansa. Maybe it is all a misunderstanding, and you are sitting there with your buddy drinking beer. If so, sorry to bother you. You know I've always been suspious of Sansa since the break up. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I'm sure Cat can fill you in on the details if you ask her. 

Your son, Joffrey.


	583. You Are SO Fucked!  by Goldenboyking

Cum Dump,

Don't look now.....but I think she's startin' to suspect somethin!!!! HA HA you red whore ......you think your nasty cunt is too good for me? Well....I am gonna fuck your ENTIRE world.....tell ALL your dirty little secrets. And even my grandfather won't be able to save you when I do.

I am gonna lick the tears off your face right before I cut your throat and fuck your corpse


	584. YOU SHALL NOT PASS  by OneTrueKing

Bran Stark cc Qyburn cc Benjen Stark

Bran, I am coming down to the server room RIGHT NOW. Do NOT take any more pills or you will be experiencing the Charge of the Rhohirrim on your ass DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR ???? This is NOT a trip, you are NOT Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. Your life and your sister's is in danger, and if you give me ANY TROUBLE I will rip those sewer plans out of your hard drive and then take a match to it. Then I will tie you up and deliver you to the Dreadfort Arms with a red bow on your head. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? 

Quyburn, do you have a powerful emetic available?


	585. STANNIS!  by WARHAMMER123

STANNIS! WHERE IN HELL'S NAME IS NED? CAT IS UNCONSCIOUS IN A POOL OF VOMIT WITH A TAMPON HANGING OUT OF HER ASS. ROBB, RICKON, ARYA AND JON ARE MISSING. THEIR ROOMS ARE FULL OF SHOES. BRAN CALLED ME A CAVE TROLL THROUGH THE DOOR. 

I WANT SOME ANSWERS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	586. RE:  STANNIS  by OneTrueKing

Calm down Robert! I don't need you barging in here bellowing and disturbing Sansa !

No one is missing. A lot happened while you were passed out. Ned has taken most of the children to safety as any good father would. As far as Catelyn goes, I thought you of ALL people would recognize the signs of a hopeless alcoholic. She is a disgrace to her family but I will make sure one of the servants tends to her. Now, I think Benjen wants to have a drink with you and listen to how you knocked out Rhaegar at your Senior Prom. Drop your phone off with me on your way. You don't wish to be disturbed, do you?

Stannis


	587. RE: Concerns  by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

I need you to deal with Robert IMMEDIATELY! He has apparently been roaming the halls in search of all the missing Starks. I have been forced into the distasteful position of having to LIE to him. I do not like lies or liars, Benjen. This entire house REEKS of lies. Take his phone away from him and bring it to me. I don't need him trying to call Ned, because we all know he won't get an answer.

Catelyn has apparently passed out in a pool of vomit in the hallway of the guest wing and Bran has ingested enough hallucinogens that he literally believes he is living out the plot of the Lord of the Rings movies. I am beginning to see why Sansa is always so desperate to visit me. I would want away from this mad house, too, if I had to live here for any length of time.

Stannis


	588. JOFFREY  by OneTrueKing

OneTrueKing to GoldenBoyKing

Listen and get someone to help you with the big words you probably won't be able to understand, you pathetic product of incest.

You will NOT....repeat will NOT .... attempt any further contact with either Sansa Stark or my brother. From this point on, you will be dealing with me. And if you think I intend to put up with your filthy threats and lies, then you obviously have me confused with some whole other body. You must have your brains in your *dick* if you think I will allow you to keep playing your sick games. 

Make no mistake about it, LANNISTER, I will cut your fucking head clean off and not give one shit if I leave anything for your mother to bury. And that's IF you're lucky and I don't give you over to Roose Bolton and his boys to play with. I am sure they would enjoy your pretty blonde ass. For a while. Until it's not so pretty any more. Do you have any idea how much you bleed when someone cuts off your balls?

Or maybe I'll hand you over to the Red Viper. Would you like that? Maybe he'll give you to his Sand Snakes to play with. Let 'em stake you out naked in the desert with wet rawhide straps that are gonna shrink as the hot, Dornish sun beats down. But that will be just a tickle compared to what else will be going on with you. They'll use a razor to cut your eye lids off so the sun fries them in your skull. And in case you thought you'd just pass out from the pain, they'll inject you with enough adrenaline to keep you awake for days. NOT that you'll live that long. Did I mention you'll have company? A fire ant mound nearby. And someone will have been thoughful enough to smear honey all over your scrawny body.

You may be used to threatening girls, but this time you have picked a fight with a man. And if I so much as hear of you THINKING about Sansa again, they will never find all the pieces of you.

Stannis Baratheon


	589. RE:  Sansa Stark medical update  by TheGoodSon

Roose,

Thought you'd like to know Sansa regained consciousness for a few minutes. Most of what she said didn't make much sense and most of it was to Stannis Baratheon, but she did ask for you at one point.

You won't like it, but when this is all over and the Baratheons head back South I am going with them. I will miss Sansa and Benjen but I don't want to stay hidden here forever. Maybe if I'm on the other side of Westeros I won't see Ramsay looking over my shoulder every minute. Stannis has already offered me a position working with his team and I think I would enjoy it. Maybe start a new life for myself, meet a girl, settle down.

Well, I just wanted to let you know Sansa was weak but awake and obviously thinking about you. I still say if you care about her you'll let her go make a life for herself, too.

Willem


	590. RE: to R. by r

master thank you

you saved my ass

it sucks being buried

under grass

master i will 

make you proud

no more biting or

barking loud

i'll be the best pet

and love you truly

never misbehave

or be unruly

i'm writing this

not to be cheeky

please don't think

i'm being sneaky

i give this poem

to give my thanks

just hoping it won't

lead to spanks

master truly 

you can bet

i'll make the best

most adoring pet

xxx


	591. RE:Sansa Stark medical update by RooseTheMoose

My men are coming back to patrol and search the woods. They will leave your men and wolves alone if they are not provoked. Our only concern is for the welfare of Sansa Stark. We can discuss any further plans after she is back to a stable health.

I have reason to believe that it might be another traitor beyond the Lannisters. I suggest you check into that.

Roose


	592. RE:YOU SHALL NOT PASS by Qyburn

Yes I do. I also have a nifty little syringe filled with some liquid that will make that little brat as clear as the break of day. Want me to sober him up the quick hard way just say the word.

I have wonderful other news as well. Sansa is stable, however she cannot be moved for at least another day or two. THe blood loss was significant and she is must rest. I will be honest, she should be dead and I am amazed that she isn't Even with all of my medical powers it wasn't enough, it was her own sheer determination that has kept her breathing. 


	593. RE:Sansa Stark medical update by RooseTheMoose

I shall miss you but I do understand. I will stay around to protect and show loyalty to Sansa Stark and if she chooses a relationship with another then I will still support and show loyalty to her. Her allegiances and mindset are her own. Unlike others I do not wish to force her into being anything else. I do not wish for her to pander to me or perform for me.

Sansa understands my feelings for her and she knows if she chooses to marry and settle that I would never stand in the way of it. I would always remain her faithful man and she knows it.

Thank you for the news and I am again sorry that we could never be the family we should have.

Roose


	594. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

you are humble and that is pleasing,

no more attitude, no more leaving.

want to stay intact, want to stay not hurt

want to stay safe not buried in dirt?

then show me you are a nice pet.

 

Since Jon has gone away, your sister Wolf Girl is very sad and she cries over you all the time. She would like to see you, I hope that if your humble attitude is real, I can allow this. Damon says the girl is really upset and this could help calm her down.


	595. RE: To R. by r

master i do want to 

make you happy

won't nip or scratch

or get all snappy

i've never said

these words before

but master know

that all i'm for

is being good and

being yours

i love you master

cross my paws

so please know this

your little pup

will be so good

i won't mess up

xx


	596. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

poor little puppy, sad little boy

you could very well become my favorite toy

give me big eyes and fear

show me submissive affection while i am near

shiver and whimper, do not howl or bark

and you might keep the rest of your parts

 

Tonight I am allowing you a visit with your sister. It is not a reward for you, it is for her. Apparently, losing Jon has really affected her. Damon says she is well behaved but shows utterly no emotion anymore. Perhaps seeing you will bring her back a little bit. I hope for her sake and yours that you are on your best behavior. Prove what your lovely poems to me are saying, be a good pet for me.


	597. JonJonJon RE: WolfGirl

jon? jon? jon? i am trying hard not to forget your name even though its bad. i am good master said to forget your name you are gone all gone just gone. did they sell you did you die are you alive did you run and are you hurt or safe or bad or good and i am not scared because i am just not

i am not bad i can forget but jon are you and i am good not bad not scared because i am just not anything now it is easier to be. i do not even feel my collar i pulled it today not to be bad but to see if it was there and i forget why and who but one is back and you are gone and i forget who i am and i forget who you are but i think i knew and you are a bad name it makes me cry and master is sick of my crying it bothers him unless he wants me to cry cause i was bad and he is mad and he hurts but he master is kind now but mad if i cry he doesn't want me to remember the bad name and it is easier to not remember or be anything

 i am going today to see a visit still here at big scary man house and i have a reward a visit master says a name it used to be a bad name a cry name but now it is good and i have to to remember and forget so much that i can't feel why so what is a visit what is a rickon i am not here i am nothing unless i pull the collar, if i don't feel a whip then it is all gone nothing left no one home and i have no shoes. i used to have shoes but i have no shoes but when i get to visit i get to wear a long shirt that master gives me but no socks and no shoes because why does nothing need shoes i am so tired and master is busy i can rest gonna go under the bed my favorite where it is dark and warm and nothing


	598. RE:Mutual Interest by RamFlyr666

You and your family just tried and failed to smoke that ginger haired cunt. The Boltons have rallied around her and my father has his personal doctor working to keep her alive.

Yeah, so what I should do is team up with a failure that has a family that just had an even huger failure than your incestuousness birth. No thanks, but thanks for the other information.

When we were much younger and hunted together I really thought you were a kindred spirit...then you sort of went fucknuts, must be the impure blood. Worse than being a bastard, really.

I will be blunt here, dude. I own one of her brothers and my best friend owns her sister. You really think she doesn't know about that? I had also taken her brother till the fucker ran off and she knew about that too. Hell, the kids all begged her for help and she didn't blink, that is how ice cold she is.

Forget her, get over it and move on..or the bitch will truly kill you someday.

Ramsay


	599. RE: Mutual Interest  by GoldenBoyKing

Ramsay,

you bastard coward. you can suck her ginger cunt all you want but I will be wearin her FACE on my dick. maybe if you'r lucky and I'm desperate I will wear it when I fuck YOU up your sorry bastard ass Would you like that, RamRam? don't think I don't know what a fuckin homo faggot you are.....you and your pets. I used to thank you were cool but now I see you are just white trash with new money and no brains.

Fuck you ramsay.....you and your whole goddamn family will rue the day you did not bow and kiss my feet I'm gonna make you watch while i shove a hot poker up your pets ass and them make you lick the blood and shit before i cut out their eye balls and fuck them in their sockets and after i kill THEM I am gonna make you MY pet and drag you around on a little leash until I get tired of you and give you to the Cleganes to play with. they'd like you RamRam....you have such a pretty mouth. Right now you are just a dead hillbilly that isn't smart enough to crawl into the box


	600. Can We Keep A Souvenir? by SkinnerTheDude

So Luton, Locke and I are thinking, we have been injured and working constant overtime here. Scouring the woods is boring and its been fucking hours. I already got burned, worked over by fucking Damon. I am scouring woods for fucking lions while trying to stay away from snarling wolves.

The three of us found this funny little guy walking past the little house in the Stark estate. He is really cute and drunk. We want to keep him, if you all gets pets..we think we could take one this one as our bonus? Locke lured him out with some extra booze and Luton found this really cute we stuck on his head. The little dude is so funny when he is angry too.

He ran back into the small house but we are trying to lure him back outside. If we manage to nab the little fucker, can we keep him? We promise to take really good care of the pet! Already know how to feed him, wine and steak seem to make him happy from what we observed. I want to get some bells for the hat and train him to wear the hat all the time and shake the bells. I would be fucking hilarious!


	601. Stannis and Robert by Qyburn

If no one is using that half dead large specimen that is still in my lab on a cot, would you mind if I kept him for a project? I am sure Sansa would not mind, in fact it is for her benifet. I have already used his spleen, one kidney and a goodly amount of blood from him to put Sansa back together. What I would turn this giant into would be her most loyal and elite of bodyguards.


	602. RE: Stannis and Robert  by Qyburn

Dr. Qyburn,

I will not pretend that I am not repulsed and disgusted by your request. However, Sansa Stark means a great deal to me and I realize she would not be alive now if it were not for your extensive medical skills, however unethical. This does grant you a certain amount of leeway with me. A very SMALL amount. 

Having said that, I plan on instituting a policy I always found to be effective during my stint as First Admiral of the King's Navy ---Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

In other words, you are free to conduct whatever experiments you deem fit so long as it causes no harm to either the Starks , myself, or my men.

Earlier you mentioned something about Sansa Stark's medical history that I should know about. I plan on asking her Uncle Benjen for that information. Make sure he has access to whatever knowledge you have come across.

Yours,

Stannis Baratheon

P.S. Feel free to inject Bran Stark with whatever will sober him up quickly and with as little side effect as possible. I care not for his discomfort but I need him thinking rationally. He just texted his sister's phone asking if she would procure him a human adrenal gland. Nip that in the bud.


	603. Hey Arya! by Gendry420

Girl, I am coming really i am getting closer everyday. you sound bad, last I saw of your posts you don't sound too good. Are you on something that is new or whatever it is its majorly fucked up.

So I had to hitchhike and got caught up with some dudes in a van. They were way cool and had mind blowing drugs to share! But they had to stop because of some Burning Man type concert. They thought it was a real Burning Man but it was just a bunch of potheads in a Walmart parking lot. This made them mad and they burned some poor Walmart greeter named Gene and danced around him.

I split the scene before the cops showed but now I am back on foot. Hopefully I will get a ride soon, I am already in the North, close to you. Hang in there, girl, don't freak, Gendry is coming to your rescue! And stop taking whatever you are taking it is majorly fucking with you!


	604. SCARED SHITLESS  by G0dOtitsNwine

JAMIE

I JUST STEPPED OUTSIDE FOR SOME FRESH AIR AND TO PEE ON A GNOME WHEN THE MOST FRIGHTENING CREATURES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN TRIED TO GRAB ME!!!

THEY MUST BE BOLTONS ---- THINK "STRAW DOGS" AND "DELIVERANCE" AND YOU WILL GET THE PICTURE ....ITS LIKE IF GARY BUSEY HAD A WHOLE BUNCH OF SONS THAT ARE EVEN UGLIER THAN HE IS

I MANAGED TO RUN BACK INSIDE AND LOCK THE DOORS BUT NOW THEY KEEP CIRCLING AROUND THE HOUSE, BANGING ON THE DOORS AND LOOKING IN THE WINDOWS. I HAVE TURNED OFF ALL THE LIGHTS AND AM SITTING IN THE DARK CLUTCHING A FUCKIN' GINZU KNIFE I GRABBED OUT OF A DRAWER. I PROBABLY LOOK LIKE THAT GIRL FROM THE FUCKIN "BLAIR WITCH PROJECT". GODDAMN SEAN BEAN......I KNEW WATCHING ONE OF THAT FUCKERS MOVIES WOULD JINX ME. I HOPE HE DIES IN EVERYTHING HE IS EVER IN FROM NOW ON. HE SHOULD DIE JUST FOR BEING IN THAT SHITTY "JUPITER ASCENDING". BEES, MY ASS. 

JAMIE....I AM NOT NEARLY DRUNK ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT. THEY ARE HOWLING AND CALLING ME "TEACUP LION" AND SAYING HOW THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE ME THEIR PET AND GIVE ME BELLS TO WEAR

I AM GONNA TRY AND SEND A MESSAGE TO SANSA'S PHONE AND MAYBE SOMEONE WILL SEE IT. MAYBE WILLEM WILL COME BACK TO CHECK ON ME

IF I DIE.....I WANT YOU TO CARRY OUT MY LIFE LONG DREAM OF SHITTING IN EVERY PAIR OF TYWIN'S SHINY BLACK BOOTS, OK? IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR ME. 

THANX YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD BROTHER

TYRION LANNISTER


	605. Wher are yu? by SlowCrow

t, were ar you? i saw your mmessage by the bed to write yo here. where am i? an where is my sister? is se here is she ok? pleas answer,. 

j


	606. S.O.S.  by G0dOtitsNwine

WHOEVER HAS SANSA'S PHONE

THIS IS TYRION LANNISTER. I AM SANSA'S FRIEND. I HATE MY FAMILY AND SHE WAS LETTING ME STAY IN THE GUEST HOUSE. I KNOW SHE PROBABLY CAN'T TALK BUT SHE IS THE ONLY CONTACT I HAVE SAVED IN MY PHONE AND I CAN'T GET TO MY LAPTOP CAUSE THAT WOULD REQUIRE COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE BED I AM HIDING UNDER

SOME SCARY BOLTON TYPES ARE TRYING TO BREAK IN AND GET ME......SAYING THEY ARE GONNA MAKE ME THEIR PET 

PLEASE SEND HELP

WILLEM AND BRAN KNOW I AM A GOOD GUY AND WOULD NEVER HURT SANSA . MY FATHER IS A FUCKER AND I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU TAKE HIM DOWN. JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CALL THEM OFF.

HIT ME BACK IF YOU ARE COMING......I WON'T OPEN THE DOOR UNTIL I KNOW IT IS NOT ONE OF THE CARNY FOLK

TYRION LANNISTER


	607. RE: Stannis and Robert by Qyburn

I thank you and yes, I believe you may want to speak with others that know her medical history. As Sansa's doctor I cannot give you any private information concerning her medical history.

I had Bran held down and injected him. In about ten minutes he should be very shockingly and possibly a tad painfully sober and aware of his surroundings.

Qyburn


	608. RE:Can We Keep A Souvenir? by RamFlyr666

Its a no on the little dwarf. That is Tyrion Lannister and Sansa likes him. Leave him be. I have a bonus right here for you all after the shift ends. I am giving the Boys a pet of your own! Her name is Loras I think....very well behaved and is mute. I am sure you will love your new pet.  

He or she is a bit ABC (already been chewed) but not ruined completely. Just your style!


	609. RE: S.O.S  by OneTrueKing

Tyrion

This is Stannis Baratheon. Try and remain calm. No one will harm you. I have dispatched men to escort you from the guest house to the main house. You were supposed to have been moved earlier and I apologize for the delay. 

As you can imagine, the fact that you are someone Sansa is fond of does not carry much weight with me at the moment. Sansa has been fond of several people who have apparently betrayed her and tried to have her killed, your father chief among them.

However, both Bran and Willem seem convinced you are on the up-and-up in regards to your family. We shall see. You will be escorted to a holding room here but I can assure you it is not an inhumane dungeon with torture devices hanging from the walls. And I would expect anything would be an improvement to your current predicament. 

When time allows I will be paying you a visit and we will be having a long talk. In the meantime, you will be allowed to keep your phone but please be aware any and all communications are being monitored. We will be able to listen to every word you say and read every word you type.

Stannis Baratheon


	610. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

hey, sweets, don't sweat it I'll be back soon. sorting some stuff out but nothing to worry about. can't wait to kiss the hells out of you. missed you so much these last few months. just been composing this song for you in my head - hope you like it xxx

"Black Crow" by T for J

There's a crow flying  
Black & ragged  
Tree to tree  
He's black as the highway that's leading me  
Now he's diving down  
To pick up on something shiny  
I feel like that black crow  
Flying  
In a blue sky

I took the ferry to the highway  
Then I drove to a pontoon plane  
I took a plane to a taxi  
And a taxi to a train  
I've been traveling so long  
How'm I ever gonna know my home  
When I see it again  
I'm like a black crow flying  
In a blue blue sky

In search of love & music  
My whole life has been  
Illumination  
Corruption  
And diving diving diving diving  
Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing  
Just like that black crow flying  
In a blue sky

I looked at the morning  
After being up all night  
I looked at my haggard face in the bathroom light  
I looked out the window  
And I I saw that ragged soul take flight  
I saw a back crow flying  
In a blue sky

Oh I'm like a black crow flying  
In a blue sky


	611. NEED A RIDE FAST!!! by Gendry420

Hey, stuck on the road for hours and my girl Arya need me to get back and save her ass! she is on some crazy ass drugs with some asshole who convinced her she is a slave or something! Anyone, i have some amazing shit with me and willing to part with it for a ride!!!! any takers?

Gendry


	612. Blown Covers  by TheGoodSon

Bran cc Benjen Stark cc Sansa Stark

My father informs me someone may have discovered my true identity. His message was cryptic but hinted heavily that someone has tipped off my brother and that that someone may be somehow connected to the Lannisters.

If you are coherent now, I would appreciate it if you and your friends could look into it. Perhaps a look at my brother's recent communications history may tell us who the leak is.

This of course not only means my personal safety has been compromised, but it means we may have a mole inside these walls. I admit I am not surprised, I am merely shocked they felt me important enough to "out".

Thanks, Bran. You guys are my real family and I want you to know that.

Willem


	613. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

please plesse tell were she is, is she ok? i need toknow if shes ok. is she iin the locked roomm downstairs? whwn wil you be herr? and wy did ou lock me inthe house. uou even lovked thw windows. why woul uo have bars blocking th windows? pleass get here quik, i m scared,. i need to see yu i need to se her,

J


	614. RE:  SCARED SHITLESS!!!  by SonNoMore

Tyrion......

 

Brother, I need you to stay calm and take deep breaths. You are inside and they are outside. The Stark guest house is practically a mcMansion......you are safe. Get to an interior room and go inside a closet. Calling or texting Sansa is a good idea if you can't get to your computer. Someone will either have her phone or will be monitoring her messages. Tell them who you are and what's going on. The important thing to remember is if they really wanted to break in, they would have. You know those types, they are just having their idea of fun.

Let me know as soon as you hear anything. And do what I said about getting in a closet or under a bed. I have officially cut ties with father. Maybe you and I can move to Lys and open a bar when this is all over. I am sorry you are having to go thru this sober, but it just may have been what saved your life. You can go on the world's biggest bender just as soon as this mess is over and I won't ever say a word.

Keep you chin up, little brother

Jamie

P.S. That Sean Bean curse thing is not transferable .....his movies are not like watching the fucking video from "The Ring". Chill out.


	615. RE: SCARED SHITLESS!!!  by G0dOtitsNwine

J

I am still alive and apparently in no immediate danger of joining the Bolton menagerie. A bunch of Baratheon storm troopers showed up and scared the jackals off and have taken me to the main house. I'm locked in a room in the basement but it's warm and they let me keep my phone. Someone brought me a bottle of vodka and a bag of Doritos. I wish they were cool ranch.

Stannis Baratheon wants to talk with me later. Joy. I have already told him I will help in any way I can to take down Father. I need to know where you stand when they ask. I know you are ready to walk away from him, but what about Cersei? You MUST know she was in on this all along. You need to decide what you can live with. And what you can live without.

And fuck you --- goddamn Sean Bean is EXACTLY like that fucking video in "the Ring". I would probably be drinking Dornish Red and eating oysters off the soft belly of a fine whore right now if I hadn't watched that fucker's movie. btw....have you ever noticed how much he looks like Ned Stark? fuckin weird......

T


	616. hi roose by LemonCake

hi roose

I feel awful and can barely move my fingers but they gave me my tablet as long as I rest. just typing this is making my tired. I would not still be alive if it weren't for you. i owe you more than i can repay. qyburn saved me and you sent qyburn. i am having awful dreams roose. i keep dreaming that daddy is hurting me and people are yelling and then i am doing terrible things. i am afraid to go back to sleep and afraid to tell anyone else because they will think i am crazy. you dont think i;m crazy do you? need to rest now sasna


	617. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

don't sweat it, doll - the bars are just to keep you safe. missing you so much - can't wait to smell your hair & that organic conditioner you use ... that's a gentle hint btw you were pretty stinky ; -) can you shave as well you know I can't stand hairy junk ... gods it's gonna be amazing. see you v soon my love xxx

PS Wrote you another song - hope you like it:

"Black Crow"

Eyes from the tree take me down the way  
Red riders of the dark  
Help me through this maze  
Do you know, mister, of this place?  
Do you know, mister?  
No time to waste

Won't you help me be on my way?  
Won't you help me be on my way?  
So I can set me free

Saw murder in his eyes  
The dark of a thousand crows  
Cold thriller in disguise  
Blue shadows stitched to her toes

Do you know, mister, of this place?  
Do you know, mister?  
No time to waste

There's propergand for everyman  
On the paperstand you know  
When will the spinsters face  
Let give that twist of grace you know

Do you know, mister, of this place?  
Do you know, mister?  
No time to waste


	618. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

Actually just tried & failed to delete that song ... Have realised that it sounds too much like 'master' & I don't want you thinking of that cunt instead of me. Still not sure if he fucked you? If so we'll have to give you an enema with some bleach or something. But I'll ask you about that in more detail when I get back xx


	619. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

just made this one up now - it's a bit of a downer but makes a good song I think. hope you like it xx

"Black Crow"

He sees the stormy anger of the world  
And wants no part of it at all  
And as the weeping leaves of Autumn curl  
He feels the savage winter call  
See far below the dust of conflict settles on the hill  
Where there was no escape before  
And as he spreads his wings and soars up to another level  
He brings the icy prophecies of war

Black crow, black crow, tell me where you really go  
When you fly into the sunset, high in evening sky,  
Black crow, black crow, tell me what you really know  
Will we flourish in this hurricane, or will we fall and die?

While children lose their souls and so much more  
To ragged armies of the field  
A vicious fanfare cries appeasing hungry savages  
To trigger that their fate is surely sealed  
I wonder if that black crow sleeps as day beckons the night  
Or if he even sleeps at all  
I wonder what he thinks of all the human traffic passing far below  
That's struggled on the road for so, so long


	620. Chapter 620

master i'm not 

trying to tease

but my words

don't seem to please?

always wanted to

be a poet

thought i'd have 

a good go at it

interpretative dance is

better placed

to give my master 

a sweet taste

of all the love 

i wish to give

after all

i'd like to live 

and so my master

i'm getting ready 

in the hope that

we'll go steady

be my boyf

you won't regret it

i heart you

so don't forget it

xxx


	621. Mobile Hairdresser Wanted for Home Visit (Winterfell Area) by KrakAddict

Looking to treat my boyfriend to some serious pampering - his hair's a pretty high-maintenance style & needs some attention, maybe some kind of conditioning treatment & reshaping ... have pictures to show you the exact style he needs to go back to. Post on here if interested.


	622. To R by RamFlyr666

darling pet, I do like your rhymes

sweet and sassy pet of mine

as long as you aren't rude

as long as they are not crude

sweet little r,

i am not far

coming to play

i hope you'll obey

 

You did well with WolfGirl earlier. I was pleased and there will be no hurting for good boys today. I am sorry she was in that state but you took it well. And she seems better for seeing you. A little clearer also after she got to be out of that dark room.


	623. hi roose by RooseTheMoose

Sansa,

I am so relieved to hear you are better. I do understand and we can talk of those nightmares later on. I swear I know a cure that is better than anything Qyburn could offer for those terrible images in your head. My men are patrolling your woods, I am awaiting your every demand.

Yours Truly Forever,

Roose Bolton


	624. RE: To R. by r

master i could

jump for joy

all i want's

to be your boy

master if i 

get this chance

to show you my

special dance

i know you'll only

ask for more

i promise it won't 

be a snore

master you are

all i want

be my boyf

don't say you won't

i know it's no

good to hurry 

but maybe we could

even marry?

xx


	625. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

Ah Ha!

I knew it would come and it is here!

Slowly the boy reemerges, some wit so clear!

You are treading the line, I see your tricks!

Careful boy, I can still take your dick!

When I come to see you, best be on your knees

or this time maybe I'll put you under a tree


	626. Sacred Sorcery for sale by WickedRed

Newly educated sorceress in search of practice!

I have obtained a higher wisdom in the following skills: Tactical sorcery, Divination techniques, Ceremonies and rituals: Invoking and repelling. Also I have completed the reputable online course ’Souls: Summoning, handling and restraining.’

 

I offer:

\- Fire therapy

\- Fortunetelling by Hot Stone grids readings

\- Distant healing

\- Distant hurt

\- Ritual ceremonies and offerings (costs extra if I’m to provide the sacrifice)

 

Also I have 37 black candles and six pounds of fennel seeds left over from a gathering. Can be purchased at a low price (or in exchange for various kinds of Essosian sandstone.)

 

~ Melisandre

_”Great power requires great sacrifice.”_


	627. RE: To R. by r

master i can't stop crying you don't like me any more?


	628. How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy? by Rick

hi there does anyone have any advice? i'm 15 yo & just started seeing this amazing guy, my first boyf & i'm pretty nervous. i've been trying to find ways to let him know i'm really into him & like a total dorkus mentioned marriage already. a total dorkus-based fuck up i know. now he's super not happy & i think i've messed up for good : -( can't stop crying & a total mess. it's a long story but he kind of saved my life & everything & so i thought he was really into me. what do i do?? don't want to lose him : -( any advice on the whole man-keeping front? thanks in advance if you can help.


	629. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

 

pleas come home… im scared, i dont know wat to do. i apreciate your songs but i cant think cearly right now .. i really want to se my sister … i saw her se was hurt. i need to protect her.. why were ou at ramsays ? i need to know wy, what has happnd

pleas come home , i dont want to be alone her... and im so hungrry but theres a lock pn the fridge… 

you hav painkilers? i fell of ghe bed due to your silk sheets and i hurrt my shoulder…

j


	630. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

Master likes you very much

Do not cry, why waste tears if Master is not there to soothe them?

Was I too rough, my little one? I so longed to have you again, I was a tad too eager.

Was my poor little pet hurt? Hurt doggie?

I will come and let you sit on my lap while I am in this boring meeting.

You can have your Master pet you if you stay very silent and good.

I will come to get you.

 


	631. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

so sorry to hear you fell out of bed hon - actually they're not silk, they're pima cotton, 1000 percale & some pretty smooth shit. just like your junk i'm hoping - did you shave yet? i love it best when my crow doesn't have too many feathers ; -) your sister? why the fuck do you give a shit about that bitch? you only need me now baby. can't wait to run my fingers thru your hair. but that is *not* a reference to your balls, babe. i hope you don't mind me saying but those guys were rocking some serious werewolf shit. make me howl, but don't make me growl, understand what i'm saying? (i'm saying 'shave your testicles' btw). anyway can't wait to kiss you babes. love you xx PS getting you a hairdresser to sort out that 'do. you've looked better, i have to say, but you'll be my gorgeous boy again before you can say 'i've shaved my testicles'.


	632. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

DONT CAL HER THAT!!!! ..,,…pleas, im sorry… dont be mad …pleas dont talk of her lik that…se is my sister, and yourss… she is hurt,, we need to hhelp her,… ill go shower now,…


	633. who are you by Wolfgirl

not sure i remember why i write this not sure to who but i am telling don't know who anyway. had a visit saw rickon i remember it is a brother he is good now i am good now and you are bad and do not exist anymore. i don't like to cry anymore. master is happy with me now and when i got scared again it made him more happy. getting used to things don't shake or sweat as much mind is still gone and i can't remember but i am being good and i saw a brother named rickon and he is a collar hands and knees pet like me. he hugged me when they told us to. we both cried but we don't know why anymore. 


	634. RE: JonJonJon by wolf

arya, sweet sister,,, its jon..im so sorry. i should stayed with you. i want tosave yu. hope you see this. … are yo ok? have uo seen rickon? dont tell…ill come safe you. cant say where i am, but im saafe. i try to get help to save yo. i miss you sis, i wantto holdl you. please be good, so youre noy hurt . please remember my name, but dont tel. Ill come get yo arya,. please be good, stay safe


	635. RE: JonJonJon by WolfGirl

jon is a bad name master said so. hush do not say it is bad and i have to be good. i saw rickon hugged rickon and we talked. he is happy to be back he is happy with ramsay and i am happy to be safe with damon he is a good master and is kind if he is not angry and i am a good not barking not crying girl. stay away if you want no collar and no hands and knees. you are safe but you are not you will be hurt. i heard the masters talk they never look under things and now that i can be free in the house i can hide under things. they say the bad name is in danger from a worse bad name. same bad name that hurt my master who hurt me. same bad name who hurt rickon put him to die in the ground. same bad name that will keep you locked up. same bad name that bit and bit and ate poor loras. loras cries all the time he belongs to the boys and he used to be pretty i think. careful you are not safe i must go now. master will be here soon and i am a good girl.


	636. To r by RamFlyr666

Thank you for that wonderful dance, my sweet boy. And you sat so well for me during the meeting. I am very pleased with you, my good boy. I am so glad we started over and this time you are so affection and obedient. Tonight, I will show you how I can reward very good boys. I am going to bring you some soda and candy too my little Rickon. See how kind I can be, how loving a Master?

Stay a good boy for me,

Master


	637. RE: How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy by LemonCake

Hey Rick.....

How long have you guys been together? NEVER mention marriage! OR babies. Cardinal rule. Not to brag but I have a pretty high success rate with guys and am usually trying to figure out how to get THEM to leave ME alone. How old is your man? If he's a little older I have all KINDS of tricks to help you. but remember..little blue pills are NOT your friend.

lemon cake

p.s. excues mistakes ...am recovering for the flu and still weak


	638. Bad Dreams  by LemonCake

Stannis

I know you're busy trying to keep us safe.....but I keep having horrible dreams about my daddy. he's hurting me so bad in them stannis. and there is so much screaming and crying. Can you bring daddy to see me? Please? tell him I will be his good girl. tell him I will do whatever he wants and I won't cry no matter how much it hurts. pretty please stannis? I am afriad to close my eyes because I see such terrible things. it hurts all over. why doesn't daddy come? is he mad at his lemon cake? tell him i know my duty. learn my duty. do my duty. always do my duty. hhis good girl. please.

saddddna


	639. RE: hi roose  by LemonCake

roose....

it hurts all over and i keep seeing bad things when I close my eyes. do you really understand my dreams? can you help me make them stop. I am so tired and ujust want to sleep. and daddy won't come visiti me. i think he's mad. i didn't tell. i never tell. please make hm not be mad.

snansa


	640. RE: Bad Dreams by LemonCake

stannis

tell him i didn't tell. please. i never tell. good girl. best girl. sweket lemon cake. pleaese birng daddy so the dreams wills top. am so tired and it hurts so much. stannissssssssssssssss....you are so nice to me. you won't love me if i am a abad girl will you. no one loves bad girls. pleease make him not mad.


	641. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

t, i need you hom …pleas, im cold… i showerd like you said but had no towel… and i slipped… im tired myy body hurts… pleas i need yu to hold me,,i wrote to ary, se respomded… im worried for her, an what sh wrote.. she met with rickon….hes at ramsays did yu know? did you se hiim there? why didyou leav them? why you only save mme?… she said somone hurt rickon and wold hurt me.. pleas come backc soon, i cant be alone….


	642. Don't Look Now   by Bran-doll

Uncle Benjen cc The Blackfish cc Stannis Baratheon cc Qyburn 

Don't look now guys, but I think leaving a tablet with Sansa right not may not have been the best idea. She is obviously out of her mind on painkillers and attempting to talk to people. I have been monitoring the messages and they are getting increasingly frantic.

Maybe Qyburn can knock her ass out again? He certainly had no trouble being a Mengele Nazi dick to me and shoving needles in my damn stomach!!!!

Don't worry....I have restricted who she can and can't message. as of now no one outside of a select few can send or receive messages from her. The last thing we need is that dick Joffrey spewing his filthy threats at her.

speaking of Joffrey....I have intel for you, Aragorn on where your orc may be hiding. Don't freak....I am still clean. Just like to mess w/you

Bran


	643. RE: Bad Dreams by OneTrueKing

Sansa,

Precious girl, you should be resting. I will ask Qyburn if he has anything to help you sleep more peacefully. Those dreams do not sound good at all.

I have been unable to locate your father, but from the sound of things I doubt that’s an entirely bad thing.

Try to rest, and know that I will take care of everything. I’ll come and sit by you soon.

Stannis


	644. Ned's History with Sansa by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

I need to know everything about Sansa’s relationship with her father. I have been receiving messages from her that indicate some very disturbing things happened between the two of them. Do you know anything about this? I must know so that I can help her.

Please.

Stannis


	645. RE: Ned's History with Sansa  by BabyWolf

Stannis,

I had a feeling this was going to come up. Right now I am in the middle of the woods west of the house looking for lions and trying to keep our wolves from eating any of Bolton's scarecrows. Can we not wait and do this face to face? I had planned on spending the night in the Blackfish's camp. Maybe things will be easier to deal with tomorrow after everyone has had a little more rest and we have further secured the perimeters. And you are not going to want to hear ANY of this. I really think it's something that needs to be done in person.

Benjen Stark


	646. RE: Ned's History with Sansa by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

I’m afraid this can’t wait. It is urgent that I know _exactly_ what sort of demons Sansa is facing. I won’t be able to help her otherwise. Her mental state seems _extremely_ fragile, and I need to know how to approach her.

Just hit me with the necessary facts now and we can go into detail when we meet face to face.

I cannot stress how urgent this is. There is no time for delays.

Stannis


	647. RE:  Ned's History with Sansa  by BabyWolf

Dammit Stannis!

Maybe the Blackfish is the one you need to talk to. I know what happened with Ned and Sansa but the Blackfish is the one who took her to doctors and got her diagnosed. We sort of share responsibility for her and I don't feel comfortable talking about any of this until he can be there, too. And with the mess we have going on right now I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon.

Can't you just hold her hand and tell her a story? She has always loved that one about Florian and Jonquil. Before....before when she would be frightened or hurt I would hold her and tell her that story until she fell asleep. Just try that and let me know if it works. Can't that damn quack do something?

Benjen Stark


	648. RE: Don't Look Now by OneTrueKing

Bran,

Stop calling me Aragorn.

Sansa had sent me some very disturbing messages. Benjen is refusing to tell me what sort of relationship your sister had with your father to inspire such mental anguish. Do you know anything about this?

Give me the intel on Joffrey. That little shit needs to be taught some manners.

Stannis


	649. RE:  Don't Look Now  by Bran-doll

I WILL call you Aragorn because YOU had your Nazi henchman shove a needle of some kind of experimental drug in my stomach and completely crashed my ass from one of the most intense highs I have ever had in my life! And let me tell you, this reality SUCKS! I am never leaving my server room again!!!!!!

See attachment for the latest on Joffrey. From what I can see of his messages, HE is the one who tipped off Ramsay Bolton re Willem's true identity. Maybe I should pass that along to Roose and let him take care of things in his own, special way? OR...from what I saw him say to Ramsay earlier.....he won't be alive much longer. Seems some of your more creative threats might be coming to pass after all. Oh, I meant to tell you, I was impressed when I read that. I never figured you for the type. Guess maybe I see what Sansa sees in you. A little. A precious little. You're still a goddamn jack-booted, FASCIST!!!!!!!!!!

re Sansa. I remember some things. I suspect more. NO ONE talks about it, especially Sansa. The uncles are the ones you should talk to. If they won't give you answers I guess I could break into her medical files. But I;m not sure I really want to know. I am even more sure YOU don't really want to know. Sleeping dogs, man...sleeping dogs.

Bran


	650. RE: Ned's History with Sansa by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

You’re acting like a child. Just give me the facts and we can sort out the details with the Blackfish later. This. Is. Important.

I am doing everything I can, but unless I can tackle the root of the problem, I’m afraid it won’t help her. Holding her hand and telling her a story is equal to putting a bandaid on a festering wound. Not entirely helpful.

Stannis


	651. Cats & Their Bags  by BabyWolf

Blackfish,

Stannis Baratheon is insisting I tell him the truth about Ned. And Ned and Sansa. Apparently she's drugged up on pain pills and saying things. I was afraid something like this would happen. If only that goddamn Qyburn had kept her knocked out.

What should we do? I suppose if anyone has earned the right to the truth, it's him. And SANSA can't tell him because most of HER doesn't know the truth, either. I really wish we could sit down with him together to do this.

Can you talk to him? I'm not sure how much to tell him. Should I tell him the stuff about Robb, too?

Get back to me on this asap

Benjen


	652. RE: Cats & Their Bags   by Blackfish63

Benjen

I will try and reason with Stannis. I agree he probably needs to know but this is something we need to talk about face to face. With plenty of booze on hand.

If he insists, just give him the general outline for now. And if what we suspect has happened to Robb is true, then yes, go ahead and tell him about the things with Robb, too.

Don't say or do anything until you hear back from me. 

None of us need this shit right now.

Blackfish


	653. It's a Need to Know Basis   by Blackfish63

Stannis

Have heard from Benjen that you are asking questions neither of us really want to answer right now.

I suggest you get the doctor to give Sansa something to relax her and then we can all talk about this later.

The situation has been on a need-to-know- basis for years and I'm still not sure you have a need to know.

Do us all a favor and forget this. Or at least move it to the back burner. We have Lions to deal with and don't need the distraction. 

The Blackfish


	654. RE: S.O.S.  by LemonCake

Tyrion  
its me sansa. i saw your message. are you okay? please be okay. i don't feel well tyrion. i can't feel parts of me and this man keeps putting needles in my iv and it makes me feel worse. and the dreasms I have are awful. daddy is in them and it is so scary. i am scared tyrion. i can't remember a bunch of stuff. your my friend though, right? you message said you were my friend. i need a friend tyriogn. i will be a good girl i promise. and i will nver ever tell. you will be happy and love me right?

sandfasa


	655. RE: It's a Need to Know Basis by OneTrueKing

Blackfish,

Trust me. I need to know.

Qyburn has done what he can, but without at least a vague outline of how to approach Sansa's scarred psyche, I am unable to give her the help she needs. Helping her is the No. 1. priority. There is no point fighting the Lannisters if Sansa is beyond saving.

I swear, if you don't give me some answers I will show you what it means to awaken the fury of a Baratheon!

Stannis


	656. EOS  by LemonCake

stannis can you bring jme one of my eos lip things? my lips hurt. bring the red one or the bleu one with white stripes. i will be good pleasea 

this is sansa if you don't know the man says he give me omething to make it stop hurting and the draems stop i love you stannis i will be good so you wont get mad ok


	657. RE:  It's A Need to Know Basis  by Blackfish63

Stannis

Listen here, boy .....I fought with your father and grandfather in the War of the Ninepenny Kings at the Stepstones. I was there when your grandfather died in your father's arms. So don't you DARE threaten me. I will SHOW you what it means to bring the fury, young one.

I will talk to Benjen and one of us will get back to you. But just be prepared. It's best not to ask questions you REALLY don't want the answers to. Remember that.

The Blackfish


	658. RE: EOS by OneTrueKing

Of course, Sansa - anything you need. I'll be with you in just a moment.

Don't worry about behaving right now, just focus on resting and healing. No one is going to get mad at you for that, I promise. 

Just close your eyes and think about breathing, think about sailing in the sun and exploring underwater caves in Dorne. 

I'll take care of everything.

Stannis


	659. RE:  Cats & Their Bags  by Blackfish63

Benjen

He is hell-bent on knowing. Let's hope he can handle the truth. Give him the bare facts. If can stomach more, we will tell him later.

Blackfish


	660. RE: Ned's History with Sansa  by BabyWolf

*****WARNING******WARNING*****THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD********EVEN FOR THIS STORY IT IS BAD******

Stannis,

This is going against both mine AND the Blackfish's better judgement, but you asked for it.

Ned is nowhere to be seen because Ned is dead. Sansa killed him. It was his body that Mormont found in the wall. I know because I am the one who hid it there and that's where it should have stayed. Fuck. And the worst part is, she doesn't remember any of it. I think parts of her still think he's alive. I think part of her thinks SHE is Ned.

I know everyone loved my brother, but none of you really knew him. And after our dad and Brandon and Lyanna all died he really snapped. It didn't help that by the time Sansa was a baby Catelyn started showing signs of mental instability. She took to the bottle like a trout takes to water.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to say, especially about my own brother. But Ned always had a strange obsession with Sansa. Since before she could walk or talk. I don't know everything he did and I don't want to know, but when she was just over a year she had to have surgery to repair some damage to her urethra and vagina. 

I guess after that he was either more careful or she got bigger and it didn't tear her up as bad. Catelyn was so far gone she never noticed and probably wouldn't have cared if she had. Gods forgive me, but I didn't know what to do. What do you say to your own brother who is raping his little girl? I have made a LOT of my own mistakes with Sansa and I will live with that guilt and shame for the rest of my life. But I swear I never wanted to cause her pain.

It wasn't just Ned, either. The summer she was 11 I heard crying coming from our stables. I found Sansa naked and tied to a post. Apparently Robb had forced her to give him and his friends "oral pleasure". I took a belt to that little bastard and he couldn't walk for a week. I got her cleaned up and tried to talk with her but she just pretended that nothing happened and tried to perform oral sex on me. That's when I first started noticing that things were off with Sansa, that she acted like she didn't remember things. 

Stannis, you would have never known to look at her what was going on. She was SO beautiful and gentle, just like she is now. And she ADORED Ned. Used to spend every waking moment at his side. I thought he had stopped and was trying to make it up to her. I swear that. Then one night when she was 15 I guess Ned didn't bother to use one of the sound-proofed rooms. There was apparently a lot of screaming. The other kids either didn't care or didn't want to get involved, but Bran ran in and tried to pull Ned off of her. He ended up knocking Bran into the wall and knocking him out. Sansa must have tried to save Bran and she hit Ned over the head with a bedside lamp and killed him. When I got there Bran was out cold, Ned was naked and dead, and Sansa was bloody from the waist down and curled up in a ball. I cleaned everything up. The Blackfish came and got her the next day and took her to RiverRun. She saw doctors there. 

Is that enough? Are you sorry you asked now? I feel sick.

Benjen


	661. RE: Ned's History with Sansa by OneTrueKing

Benjen,

Fuck.

That was... more than I expected.

I... I'm going to ... fuck, I need a drink.

Stannis


	662. RE: Don't Look Now by - OneTrueKing

Bran,

Benjen just told me some of what happened between your father and Sansa. Probably not everything, but most of it. I am seriously disturbed and have been forced to raid Robert's stash of booze. Do you hear me? I have been forced to drink an entire shot of whiskey because of this mess! AN ENTIRE SHOT.

I need every single medical file you can get your Dorito-stained fingers on, do you hear me? NOW.

Stannis


	663. RE: Ned's History with Sansa  by BabyWolf

I tried to tell you. The blackfish and I both tried to warn you that you didn't want to know.

NOW do you understand why I didn't want to fucking TEXT that shit in the middle of the goddamn woods in the middle of a goddamn WAR???

YOU need a drink? I need a whole goddamn bottle. I just puked my guts up and I doubt it will be the last time.

Benjen


	664. RE: EOS by LemonCake

stannis have you found my daddy yet? you need to find him so he's not mad and knows I am good and do my duty lkee a good girl. tell him i never told you i never never never never ever told promise corss my heart and hope to die i;m so sleepy but my lips hurt an nowone brings my eos balls


	665. Sedate Her!  by OneTrueKing

Gods damn you Qyburn --- I need you to sedate her! Put her all the way out and keep her out until I tell you otherwise.

SB


	666. RE: Don't Look Now  by Bran-doll

In case you don't remember.....

I AM MONITORING EVERY FUCKING COMMUNICATION IN OR OUT OF HERE. I KNOW WHAT HE FUCKING TOLD YOU. THIS ISN'T ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW. A LOT OF THAT SHIT I DID NOT KNOW. SOME I GUESSED BUT I DIDN'T KNOW. GIVE ME A FUCKING MINUTE TO DEAL WITH THIS, OKAY? 

I WILL GET YOU YOUR GODDAMNED FILES AND THEN I AM TAKING MORE OF ARYA'S MAGIC PILLS AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT IT. IF YOU NEED ME BAD ENOUGH YOU'LL JUST MAKE YOUR NAZI DOCTOR BUDDY STICK ME AGAIN

BRAN


	667. RE: Sedate Her!  by Qyburn

I just pushed 20 cc's of my own special blend of benzodiazepine. Contrary to what you might think, I DO know what I'm doing. She is too unstable to just put into some kind of "suspended animation" like you seem to want. Unless I intubate her again I can't take the risk of suppressing her natural instinct to breathe.

This should calm her anxieties and allow her to get some rest. I will be nearby working on my other patient but closely monitoring her. I took away that tablet for now as it seemed to only exacerbate the problem. She's already asleep.

Qyburn


	668. RE:  Don't Look Now by OneTrueKing

Bran

Forgive me. I am extremely upset and wasn't thinking clearly. I had forgot that you would be reading every exchange between your uncles and myself. I am sorry you had to find out about your father's death like that. And the rest of it. What he'd done.

When you are ready, please find out what you can from her files and send it to me. I am assuming her childhood surgery was what Qyburn was referring to when he spoke of her "previous medical condition" but we cannot know that for certain. And we cannot get her the help she needs if we don't have the facts.

Stannis


	669. RE: S.O.S  by G0dOtitsNwine

Sansa,

Thank goodness you are alright. I was really worried about you. It sounds like you are heavily medicated so maybe you just need to sleep and not worry about silly little lions like me.

Yes, I am your friend, Sansa. And no one who knows you could ever think you were anything but a good girl. I'm not sure about your father, but it's been my experience that fathers aren't all they're cracked up to be.

I will try and come to visit as soon as I can. I can't bring flowers or chocolate, so will you settle for Doritos and vodka? 

Get some rest, sweet girl. 

Your friend,

Tyrion Lannister


	670. RE: Don't Look Now  by Bran-doll

I'M PRETTY SURE I KNEW MY DAD WAS DEAD SINCE I WAS FUCKING THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. AND I AM PRETTY SURE I KNEW "WHAT HE'D DONE" SINCE I SAW HIM RAMMING HIS COCK INTO MY SCREAMING SISTER!

WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW WAS ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT HIM TEARING HER UP WHEN SHE WAS A FUCKING BABY AND THAT MY ASSHOLE OF A BROTHER ROBB RAPED HER TOO. I ALWAYS HATED THAT PRICK AND NOW I KNOW IT WAS WITH GOOD REASON. I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S DEAD, TOO. I ONLY WISH I HAD BEAT SANSA TO IT AND KILLED HIM MYSELF.

Working on your fucking records

Bran

p.s. I meant what I said about getting fucked up after this. Don't try and stop me


	671. Robert Baratheon  by TheGoodSon

Stannis,

Benjen left me to check in on your brother since I couldn't go with him into the woods. ( for obvious reasons ) I just thought you should know your brother seems to be coming around. Please advise on what you want done regarding him. Should I ask Qyburn for another sedative for his drink or do you want him awake and alert?

One of the maids says that Catelyn Stark woke up a few minutes ago and is asking for toast and vodka. Should we give it to her and do you want her confined to her rooms or is she free to move about the house?

I am awaiting your orders

Willem


	672. RE: Don't Look Now  by Bran-doll

sorry i yelled. 

you are saving us

i know that

i wont take anything, but can i go back to being gandalf please?

bran


	673. RE: Don't Look Now  by OneTrueKing

You can sally forth upon Shadowfax to turn back the Nazgul just as soon as you get me my records.

Don't forget to save Faramir from the burning pyre.

Aragorn

p.s. just go easy on the pipe weed. We still need you for the Battle of the Morannon.


	674. RE: Sedate Her!  by OneTrueKing

Qyburn

I am sending a young man named Willem down to your medical suite. Please give him the strongest sedative you have. Enough to knock out an aurochs should be just about the right dosage. I need it to be in some form that can be dissolved in a drink.

Thank you.

Stannis Baratheon


	675. RE: Robert Baratheon  by OneTrueKing

Willem,

Thank you for keeping me up-to-date on both my brother and Catelyn Stark. I am sending my aide Justin Massey to Robert's room now. Once he arrives I want you to head to Qyburn's rooms. He'll have a sedative waiting for you that can be dissolved in a drink. Get it to Massey and then you may join me here in the temporary command post. I'll need you to step in for Massey. He has experience with Robert so this will work out well.

As for Catelyn Stark, get her all the vodka you can carry and make sure the guard stays outside her door. We don't want her wandering. Hopefully she will finally finish what she has been trying to do for the last 20 years.

SB


	676. You Asked For It  by Bran-doll

***********************WARNING **********WARNING *******MENTIONS OF EXTREME AND REALISTIC SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD ********************************  
Stannis

I found a shit-load of records from both a pediatrician and surgeon in Braavos who apparently treated Sansa as a baby ( though as you can imagine someone had tried to bury them very deep ) as well as from our family pediatrician and doctors in the Riverlands. I have downloaded all of it to a file for you, but these are the parts I think you are looking for. Our fair Luthien did not deserve this.

Bran

 

Harys Blackwood, M.D. , D.O.  
Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatry  
Certified, Westeros Board of Psychiatry and Neurology

The patient in question presents as a 15-year old female. During initial physical examination it was determined she was suffering from bruising and tearing to the genitals as well as deep lacerations to the inner thighs, buttocks, and breasts. Upon closer examination it would appear lacerations due to human teeth. The tearing and lacerations have been cleaned and the patient placed on a broad-spectrum antibiotic. ****Note that patient shows signs of earlier surgical intervention to repair damage to the urethra and reconstruct vaginal walls. All signs indicate surgery was successful with no resulting complications.

An initial mental exam found the patient to be in a fugue state. Over a period of approximately 23 days patient began to display indications she was aware of her surroundings and would respond to basic stimuli as appropriate.  
Beginning in week five of hospitalization, patient began to respond to questions though was quick to display signs of agitation and anxiety when asked about her home or family. See attached chart for exact medications and dosages prescribed.

Additional hospitalization and further evaluation is recommended. Patient's great-uncle has signed consent forms to allow.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Harys Blackwood, M.D. , D.O.  
Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatry  
Certified, Westeros Board of Psychiatry and Neurology

 

  
After approximately 12 weeks of observation it is this doctor's opinion that the 15-year old patient in question is suffering from a combination of Dissociative Amnesia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and Depersonalization-derealization disorder.

It is this doctor's belief the resulting conditions will be life-long and stem from the patient having been subjected to long-term sexual and emotional abuse since infancy.

Normal development of personal identity has been subverted, allowing the child to step outside herself and observe trauma as though it is happening to a different person. It is likely this ability to dissociate will be used as a coping mechanism in response to stressful situations throughout her life.

Patient may be subject to symptoms including episodes of amnesia or blackout in the absence of substance abuse, the patient referring to herself as "we", the patient not having awareness of past actions of behaviors. Due to the severe nature of patient's sexual abuse, it is this doctor's opinion she has a high risk of sexual promiscuity and will be prone to subverting her own wants and desires in an effort to please others. She is extremely vulnerable to those she sees as authority figures. Periods of fear, often undifferentiated, as well as difficulty trusting others are already on display.

Treatment recommendation is intensive and on-going talk therapy and immediate removal from childhood surroundings. While patient will always display symptoms, it is this doctors opinion that she can lead a productive and happy life if treatment is maintained.


	677. Stannis by RooseTheMoose

Stannis,

I know exactly what Sansa has gone through and though I am not comfortable with telling you anything, I will say this much. She is remembering long ago...or sadly, not so long ago things that traumatized her deeply and cost my friendship with Ned Stark.

I was unable to do anything to help her at the time, but now I can and all I can hope is that you will understand I only wish to help pull Sansa through this darkest of times. Please allow me to come visit, I will see you first. I will await your response.

If it means you will allow me to assist our young hurting friend, then I will tell you as much as I can.

Roose Bolton


	678. RE:Sedate Her! by Qyburn

I do not think you understand how much Sansa's body has been through. I have given her all the narcotics and sedatives I can at this point. Anymore and it will kill her, she is simply too weak. The last resort is for me to put her in a medically induced coma. I can do this but she will need to be carefully monitored and there are risks to this. I cannot make promises.

I am a medical doctor, I am not equipped for severe emotional trauma. The girl has PTSD and it is all resurfacing. Without putting myself in any legal or "other" trouble, I can only suggest this. Please contact Roose Bolton who has helped Sansa deal with this in the past. You may not know this, but they have had a platonic relationship for many years now. He might provide some relief for you and Sansa.

If you wish for me to proceed with inducing a coma, please let me know. Also, on a lesser note, I found her mother in the hallway. She had aspirated on her vomit and passed away soon afterwards, I did what I could but it was too late. I do not feel many will mourn but I have put her body aside for you to deal with.

Qyburn 


	679. RE: Jon, It's ME! by Wolfgirl

master says its a reward he says this will let me go outside and everywhere with him. it is because i am good this will be a new thing a new face to go with my new name but i do not remember my name or face. i never look in mirrors, i never look at myself i only look at master. you will not see me because i won't look like me but that is good it is not bad master will be happy and i will be happy i will be able to always go with him everywhere then i am scared this will hurt and i will cry and master will be mad but it is a good thing to have a new face to obey and be safe


	680. For benjen help! by crow

Uncl need help !! i dont know who else ro contact, arya is in teouble se is hurt, by boltona men, i think hi name ia damon,,,, they going to hurt her agai get her home!!! im safe, i cant tell. please sace her, i cannot go for herr myself an dont know who else,,, helo her!!

jon


	681. RE: For Benjen help!  by BabyWolf

I have done enough to wipe your ass in the past......burying the bodies of all those teenage strays you lured home to rape and murder. Do yourself a favor. When you're dead, stay down.

Benjen


	682. Stannis by Qyburn

I have done all I can. Sansa is now in a medically induced coma and is resting well. She must simply have time to heal. I am leaving to do a small procedure on another person. I will leave my three best assistants with Sansa. I will be back very soon and if there is any emergencies, please let me know and I will return immediately.

Qyburn


	683. Damon by Qyburn

I am on my way now. In answer to your question, I cannot keep her aware and feeling the entire procedure. The risk for shock and cardiac arrest is too high. Also, I am on pressed time and having her awake, able to more during this procedure makes it longer.

Here are your two choices. I can numb her so that she cannot feel nor move but is still completely aware of the procedure. Or I can put her into a twilight sleep where she will still feel a more manageable amount of the procedure, but will not remember it later.

Qyburn


	684. RE: For benjen help! by crow

 

wat are yo talknh about? Uncl its me jon pleas Help me!! help arya ses in danger!!  listen t me!!! uo need to sav her!!

 


	685. RE: For Benjen help!  by BabyWolf

******This person has blocked your number *******


	686. RE: Sedate Her!  by OneTrueKing

Qyburn

I hope you know what you're doing in regards to inducing coma. But considering the mental, as well as emotional, trauma Sansa is dealing with, it may be for the best to keep her out as long as is safely possible. Will this prevent her being moved in the next 24 to 48 hours? 

Advise immediately.

I am not comfortable with you leaving Sansa in the care of "assistants". I have seen them and they do not inspire confidence. An escort will accompany you on your "mission of mercy" and remain in constant contact with me. You have a limited amount of time before I will require your return. You will be thoroughly searched upon your return to Winterfell so no funny business. You will find I am a man who does not appreciate humor. And my patience is running very thin.

Stannis Baratheon


	687. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

aw babe I'm so sorry you slipped, really hope you're doing ok. sorry it's taking me so long to get back - just trying to sort some stuff out. wow - you're pretty touchy about A. - ok so I won't call her a bitch again. anyway, will be back soon - are you hungry, sweets? will pick up some steak for us tonight - might go to the wholesale so make sure the freezer's empty, ok? can't wait for later. hope you're ready for me xx


	688. Sansa Medical Update  by OneTrueKing

Bran Stark cc Benjen Stark cc Brynden Tully

Gentlemen

Dr. Qyburn has now re-intubated Sansa and placed her in a medically induced coma. Considering what we now know her to be dealing with, I regard her emotional trauma at recent events to surpass her physical trauma and feel this is the best course of action. No word yet on how this will impact our plans to evac her to the South.

Qyburn insists on leaving the grounds to attend another patient. I make no secret that I do not trust the man, even if he was instrumental in saving Sansa's life. I have him under surveillance and have made him aware of that fact. I strongly suspect he is in the employ of Roose Bolton.

This brings up my next concern: Roose Bolton has contacted me regarding Sansa and his wish to come here and see her in person. As she is now unable to recognize, much less interact, with visitors I plan on telling him that is unacceptable. But it does lead me to question his knowledge as to what has occurred between Ned Stark and Sansa. If any of you have information pertaining to this I would appreciate an immediate reply.

I realize I am new on the scene and it would be easy for me to point fingers of blame. But I cannot deny that after reading portions of Sansa's medical records I am both disappointed and outraged on her behalf. Obviously, the course of treatment her doctors prescribed has NOT been followed and I will require answers as to why. The only way we can help her is to be perfectly honest and put our own personal agendas aside in favor of her best interests.

With Qyburn's assistants in charge, I do not feel comfortable leaving Sansa alone, even if heavily guarded. Therefore I am temporarily standing down and my chief Aide, Richard Thorpe - with the assistance of Davos Seaworth - will temporarily assume tactical command. Be advised I will remain in constant communication with all of you during this time.

With regards to the joint Stark/Baratheon/Bolton task force now deployed in the woods west of the main house, I would recommend continued stealth formation. The Lions have shown no signs of returning but I think we all know it is not "IF" but "WHEN". Remain cautious who you trust. It is extremely likely we have traitors and turn cloaks in our midst. I will be interviewing Tyrion Lannister personally later today in hopes of obtaining more intel.

Regards,

SB


	689. RE: Wher are yu? by crow

THERS A BODY IN YOR FREZER!!!!!! WHO DI THS???!?!?!


	690. RE: To R. by r

master you have 

made my day

was so scared i'd

pushed you away

master i can't

get enough

i like it when you

fuck me rough

but most of all

i love to snuggle

thank you for the 

lovely cuddle

wish i were your

only one

those other pets?

wish they were gone


	691. RE: Sansa Medical Update  by Bran-doll

Aragorn

You know you make my brain bleed when you talk like that, right? 

re Roose Bolton......keep him away from my sister. But you might want to pass on the attached file. I'm sure he would like to know where he could fine a certain little blonde shit

Gandalf


	692. RE: Stannis  by OneTrueKing

Bolton,

I'm afraid Sansa's medical condition prevents any opportunities for visitors. I have no doubt Qyburn has kept you well informed as to her status.

Forgive me if I don't trust you. I know little if anything about you personally, but what I have heard disturbs me. That Sansa seems to have formed some attachment to you does you no favors in my books. After all, she also formed an attachment to that bastard Tywin Lannister. AND the mysteriously absent Petyr Baelish.

People -- men -- have taken grievous advantage of Sansa in the past. I have put a stop to that. From this point on she will receive the medical care and nurturing environment she needs if she is ever to have any chance at happiness and a normal life. 

I confess to having mixed emotions in regards to your mention of Ned Stark. Part of me is glad you at least had the decency to end your friendship to the man. Another part is angry you did nothing more to help children who were obviously in a state of distress. 

In the chance you can offer unique and useful insight into this situation, I will be in touch. And I want to thank you again for lending your men to our joint effort of securing Sansa's home against a common enemy. While they have not been without incident, including a rather disturbing event involving Tyrion Lannister, my commanders say they are an asset in the woods and particularly excel at hunting and tracking.

I am aware of your relationship with Willem. He appears to be a fine young man and I have offered him a permanent position on my staff when this is all over. He has accepted and I hope you will agree this is the best option for him. Like Sansa, he needs to leave the scenes of his nightmares if he is ever to have a normal life.

Regarding Willem, attached you will find coordinates to the last known location of Joffrey Lannister. I have only one request -- make him suffer.

Yours,

Stannis Baratheon


	693. RE: To R. by RamFly666

Dearest jealous pet, you are the only one.

Jon is gone, Jeyne is dead, Loras belongs to the boys and Arya is not mine, she belongs to Damon.

The prisoners are only for fun, they will not be pets. Perhaps I shouldn't have taken you down to see them with me. I am sorry you thought they meant anything to me. Be careful with this jealousy of yours, pet.  

In a while I will write you a lovely poem back and I am coming to get you soon for a nice walk in the gardens. I have a new leash and collar for you that I think you will like. A fur lined collar, my lovely little boy.


	694. RE: Wher are yu? by KrakAddict

sure - it's for tonight, thought you'd be hungry? why are you so freaked out? it's just meat, babes - you haven't suddenly gone vegan on me have you?? it's just a bit of meat. nothing to get stressed over. you know that's all we're made of right? I'm meat. you're meat. the tastiest fucking meat in the world, I'm guessing. anyway, don't sweat it, babe. on an unrelated note, you're looking pretty skinny recently - can you make sure you eat a good, square meal tonight for me, ok? we need to get some flesh on those bones. you're no use to me if you're just skin & bone, you know? anyway, back in the next hour or so. love you, hon xx


	695. Attn. Boys by RamFlyr666

I want that little golden shit. You know which one. Bring him to me boys. We have Roose's FULL approval. Daddy doesn't like the little fucker either.


	696. RE:Ramsay! by RooseTheMoose

Enclosed is information to find the boy. Do what you will but make sure he is gone forever. Not much of a blow for the enemy but an effective message perhaps.


	697. Catelyn Stark  by OneTrueKing

To: Bran Stark cc Benjen Stark 

Bran,

I know of no easy way to tell you this so I will just come out with it. Your mother has finally succeeded in drinking herself to death. My men inform me they found her lying in the hallway of her suite just over an hour ago. Qyburn's assistants were dispatched but there was nothing to be done. She apparently aspirated on her own vomit.

I'm sorry Bran. I will not deny I have nothing but disdain for a woman who would allow her children to be so horrifically abused while she chased the bottom of a bottle, but she was still your's and Sansa's mother and I am sorry for your loss.

If it is any comfort, she likely didn't even know what was happening. Qyburn's people are taking care of the body. I will leave the arrangements up to you and your uncles Edmure and Brynden.

Please let me know if you need anything I can provide. I am with Sansa now and even in a coma she appears to be suffering some kind of nightmare. I am begining to doubt Qyburn knows what he's doing. 

Yours,  
SB


	698. RE: Stannis by RooseTheMoose

I do understand your concerns regarding myself and all other men in Sansa's life right now. I truly do and all I can offer is this. I cannot speak for the others, but I was the first one to take Sansa Stark to the doctors. I was the one to insist that Ned get her some help, as he wasn't willing to let her see a physician afraid of repercussions. I was the one who plead with Cat to dry up and see what was happening around her.

I am not a good man, Stannis, I can and will admit that. I have done many bad things in my time and many of them Ned knew of. He blackmailed me for many years and I was forced to do his bidding to keep both of my sons safe. When he went missing, I was not stupid, I went to Sansa and found out the truth. All along, I tried to help by being her friend, unlike the other men, I didn't try to sleep with her, I let her find comfort with me. I never had any sexual relations with her, but I did try to see she got therapy. I saw that she had someone she could speak with and not have to pretend to be something else.

Qyburn will return to you soon and I can assure you the little boy you speak of will not only never resurface, he will suffer terribly. Please let me know soon when you would like to speak with me. If you fear for your safety, take precautions. I will not hurt you because Sansa would not like it. Unlike with Ned, I am loyal to Sansa Stark willingly.

Roose Bolton


	699. jonrickonwhatname by WolfGirl

master was kind master was nice master was so merciful he let the doctor give me medicine so it didn't hurt. i could hear and see but not feel it was so kind master said it was reward for being good so i have a new face but no pain and i could hear the sounds of my face peeling but it is all over all new and i have so many bandages and i can only drink with a straw no food until everything is better and the new teeth are in. he is so kind to give me a new face with my name and i have a shot when i hurt so much i scream. so rickon so jon i won't see you again because you won't know its me.

 


	700. Ill Tidings   by OneTrueKing

To: Edmure Tully  
To: Brynden Tully

Edmure and Brynden,

It pains me to be the one to inform you, but Catelyn Stark has died. My men found her passed out in her rooms just over an hour ago. Qyburn's team responded but there was nothing they could do. Apparently she aspirated in her own vomit.

I am sorry for your loss of a sister and a niece. I did not know her well, nor will I pretend to have anything other than the utmost disdain for how she allowed her children to suffer, but I know you must grieve for the woman she once was.

I have already informed Bran and alerted Benjen. Qyburn's staff is taking care of the body and I will leave all arrangements up to you. I am with Sansa now and even in this so-called "coma" Qyburn has put her in, she is thrashing and wimpering as if in the clutches of a nightmare. I honestly thought the man was more competent than this. I will continue to watch over her and let you know if there is any change.

Now is obviously not the time, but I would like answers as to why more was not done for Sansa and why she was allowed to come back to this place that could hold only nightmares for her. I also find myself unable to comprehend how you could have allowed her to fall into the depraved clutches of someone like Tywin Lannister. And it has not escaped my notice that her "uncle" Petyr has not made one inquiry regarding her health since the first attack on Winterfell. The fact she did not trust him enough to reach out to him in her greatest hour of need tells me Sansa had begun to suspect him of something. I almost guarantee that though he has made no effort to reach out to anyone here, he knows every move being made. Baelish is sly and his pockets are deep. Not Lannister deep, but deep enough to buy spies and informants. Watch yourselves.

Stannis Baratheon


	701. Stannis by Qyburn

My assistants have alerted me that Sansa is already fighting off the medication which I can tell you is only one in a hundred percent chance of ever happening. I am on my way immediately to her.

Stannis to be blunt, the girl is too strong physically and too weak mentally. I am wishing to consult with another specialist but I will speak with you first,s o you may check her out before I contact her.


	702. RE: Stannis  by OneTrueKing

Qyburn,

I am more than aware she is coming out of the coma, considering she is crushing my hand that is not typing this. She is also crying and begging for "something" to "stop". I shudder to think what she is dreaming.

From what I can make of her medical records, she has no memories of the death of her father. It was too traumatic for her mind to handle, so a part of her has, in effect, assumed his identity. I fear seeing Gregor lying bloody on the floor, dead by her own hand, has triggered deeply repressed memories that she is struggling to bury. I can't speak for her physical strength, but emotionally she has had to be made of pure steel lest she break under everything that has been done to her. The way I understand her disorders, her mind goes to any and all lengths to protect the part inside of her that remains "Sansa Stark".....developing other identities that "help" in various situations.

I am hesitant to allow any colleague of yours to get within a mile of Sansa. As soon as she is stable I will get her help. I will take her to Kings Landing or Dorne or across the fucking Smoking Sea if that's what it takes to find her peace. Obviously money will be no object. 

I will let you know if I reconsider. Now get your ass back here....she's attempting to pull out her own breathing tube!

SB


	703. RE:  Sansa Medical Update  by OneTrueKing

To: Benjen Stark cc Bran Stark cc Brynden Tully

 

Despite assurances from Qyburn he was putting her into a medically-induced coma, Sansa seems to be fighting the drugs and has begun coming around. She has been crying and thrashing and pleading for "something" to "stop". A few moments ago she attempted to pull out her own breathing tube so she could speak more clearly. Qyburn's team had to hold her down to remove it for her before she choked herself or damaged her trachea.

I, of course, will remain with her. I have instructed that quack to get his ass back here immediately. Be sure our men at the gate inspect him, his vehicle, and anything he may be carrying. I do not trust him, especially with Sansa. He has requested to bring in a colleague to help. I have told him no but will be open to discussing it with you. We will have her out of here soon and then I intend to get her the finest care available.

I know all three of you are where you cannot leave to come to her side. Rest assured I will be here and will update you with any significant changes.

SB


	704. RE: Sansa Medical Update  by BabyWolf

Stannis,

Thank you for keeping us posted and for taking care of her. I have certainly failed her in that regard and I will regret it to my dying day.

I appreciate you realize you are late to the party and it would be easy for you to point the finger of blame. And believe me, there is plenty of blame to go around. But most of it is mine.

I don't know if you ever knew this, but around the time Sansa was born I was planning to join the Wall Unit. In fact I had already earned a slot with their elite Rangers. But that's about the time Cat started drinking and Ned withdrew more into himself and I could not, in good conscience, leave them. I was too young to know what to do, but that doesn't excuse my not doing anything. I could have gone to someone for help when I suspected what was going on. Robb was acting out and Jon was withdrawn into himself and Ned kept the baby with him almost around the clock. The only time he would hand her over to the nurses was when she was screaming and would not stop. One night one of them came to find me. Cat was passed out drunk and they knew Ned was not the person they needed to go to. I went to the nursery and could hear her screams before I even made it to the hall. Her little body was racked with pain and her diaper was full of blood. I didn't know what else to do so I scooped her up and drove her to the emergency room in Wintertown. Some young resident took one look and turned white as a sheet. Why he never called the authorities I will never know. Likely because I was a Stark. They gave her something for the pain and attempted to put in a catheter to relieve the pressure on her little bladder. 

Our family doctor showed up and made some phone calls. The next thing I knew I was on my way with her aboard a private jet to Braavos. Even as a tiny baby she fought the drugs they gave her to keep her unconscious. There was another medical team waiting for us on the ground and they rushed her to a hospital and into surgery. I was there with her for almost four months. Poor little thing took her first steps in a hospital hallway. All I could think was that she was ruined for life and would never have children. Don't worry -- the doctors assured me she could still have children though she might require a C-section to deliver them. I have never heard any different so I assume that's still the case. Once they discharged her, I brought her back here. Back to drunk Cat who never even touched her and Ned who never put her down. That was the first time I knew I'd failed Sansa.

As I said, I never knew about Ned hurting her again. I thought he'd learned his lesson and was trying to make it up to her by being so loving and spending so much time with her. And you never saw a child more devoted to their father. She would toddle around after him and cry her eyes out if he had to leave her even for a few hours. It wasn't until I found out what Robb was going to her that I knew she was still being hurt, albeit by someone else. I beat his ass and told him I would kill him if he ever touched her again, but I did nothing else. That was the second time I failed her.

When she was 13 I slept with her for the first time. I have no excuse. I wasn't drunk. I knew it was sick and wrong. I did it anyway. I told myself it was merely giving in to what she'd been after for years. I told myself she was already sleeping with Edmure so what could it hurt. I told myself Ned had already taken her innocence so what did one more dark deed matter. I stopped after about six months. She never asked me why and we never talked about it. Looking back, she probably didn't even remember what we'd done. That was the third time I failed her.

Then, the night Ned died, all I could think to do was call the Blackfish. You know the rest. Except after she was discharged from the hospital he wanted to keep her there at RiverRun. He wanted to have her continue to see Dr. Blackwood. He wanted her never to come back here. But there were complications. Cat was just sober long enough to demand Sansa come home. My guess is she didn't want any scandal. Hopeless drunk that she was, she kept her dirty secrets secret. The Blackfish and I would have probably fought her harder, except we feared what would happen if Sansa ever found out the truth. She still believed Ned was alive, even started talking about phone conversations she'd had with him. She desperately wanted to get back home and so, gods forgive us, we let her. That's when she started spending time alone locked up in his study. If you spoke with her she'd refer to conversations she and "Daddy" had. We started getting messages and e-mails from Ned. It was an unspoken truth that we all just went along with. The fact that none of the other kids ( aside from Bran ) ever noticed gives you a good indication of the family dynamic.

But to be frank, it was money that finally made up our minds regarding Sansa. While she was in the hospital I discovered that six months before he died, Ned had changed his Will to leave everything ----WInterfell, its lands, the Stark fortune, all of it --- to Sansa and only Sansa. We feared that if questions were ever raised, even if Bran would corroborate our version of what had happened, the finger of blame would be pointed at Sansa. And then, of course, she's be confronted with the truth about what had happened and we feared that would kill her. The fourth time I failed her.

Joffrey was some boy Robb brought home. He was a friend of Ramsay Bolton's. Sansa went out with him a few times and we thought it was healthy that she show an interest in someone her own age. Then we found out the first time he took her home to meet his family she'd ended up in Tywin's bed. And that was that. I don't know when the relationship with Baelish started or if it was even sexual. It would make perfect sense if it was. 

Then she met you and we saw a side of Sansa we'd never seen. She was happy when she spoke of you. She didn't seem to put on an "act". She wasn't trying to be what you wanted her to be, she was just being herself. OR what herself might have been if she'd had any chance at a normal life. No matter what happens, you should know that. She was happy with you. Bran tells me her last thoughts before she thought she was going to die were of you. THAT should tell you something.

Now you know most of the truth. I can't say it makes me feel any better for the telling of it. But maybe it will help you help her.

Benjen


	705. To My Loving Pet by RamFlyr666

My loving, adoring pet, special boy of mine,

I must admit to a very small omission.

There is one last pet here, he is a very very BAD one.

He calls me filthy names, spits at me and tries to fight me, Rickon.

I know you don't wish for me to have pets other than you.

And this one is such a very bad one.

So I would like to make a gift of him to you,

To prove my love. To show I am only yours.

I will come get you soon and you will visit him with me.

And I am going to let you hurt and kill this bad thing anyway you want to.

My only rule is this...you must make it long and painful.

With Love,

Master


	706. Bagged A Lion Cub by DamonDanceForMe

Ramsay,

Skinner put the little fucker in a cell in the basement. I am glad it was a quick and easy job, I hated leaving my wolf when she is still recovering. Thank you for watching over her while I was doing the chore for you. I was relieved to see you letting her lay on a soft dog bed in the living room. I was afraid she would do like always and crawl off to hide in some cold dirty place. Qyburn said infection can be a real bitch and she can't get her bandages dirty at all.


	707. Roose Bolton  By BabyWolf

Stannis,

On the subject of Roose Bolton, I don't like the man. But he may be a better man than me.

To my knowledge he never slept with Sansa. He has shown interest in her, but nothing noticeably sexual in nature.

I almost get the feeling he knows what Sansa is, what monsters hide behind that beautiful face. He knows her truth and is not repulsed by it, but rather is DRAWN to it. I can't explain any better than that.

You asked for opinions on Bolton --- I don't trust him and I don't trust him with Sansa. But he's never hurt her to my knowledge.

Benjen


	708. RE: Catelyn Stark  by Bran-doll

Stannis --

Thanks. As a mother she was a piece of shit. As a human being she was a piece of shit. The only time I even saw her was when she was staggering around to get a fresh bottle and I would head the other way. I can't even remember the last time I spoke to her.

Any more of my family members gonna pop out of my nightmare closet?

I really wish you fuckers would remember I can read/hear every word you say to one another. As if that story about Sansa and the bloody diaper wasn't enough to make me puke, then I find out BOTH of my uncles were fucking her, too. Hell, maybe I should have had a go.....then it could have been a true family affair.

I'll be in the server room. I don't want to hear from anyone else for a while, okay? unless it has to do with sansa's CURRENT condtion, just give me some space. can you please make sure Jojen's body is being taken care of so we can give him back to his parents? 

thanx  
Bran

p.s. In what may go down as the only good thing to come out of this fucking horrible day, I think the Bolton's have Joffrey


	709. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

how culd you ddo this?? who is that ? why ar yo like this..im scared... pleas dont hurt me....stay away from me... i dont knoww you...wha happened to yu? please where is he Theon i once knew ? i dont know what thi is,, im locking myself in you room plese leave me,,, help me, idont know what todo...


	710. Dead Cat by Little Bird

Mr. Baelish,

I thought you would want to know Catelyn Stark has died. She choked in her own vomit while drunk.

Sansa Stark was placed in a medically induced coma but seems to be defying medical science by waking from it. Stannis Baratheon is with her. Guards are everywhere. There has been no opportunity to do what you asked.

I will continue to keep you informed,

Little Bird


	711. Intruder Alert  by Bran-doll

To: Stannis Baratheon cc Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Brynden Tully

 

Just wanted you to know I have intercepted another out-going message from some unknown person to Petyr Baelish. I have gotten pings on the little bastard twice before but this was the first time I managed to isolate the signal to a specific part of the house. Whoever it is is using a pretty high-tech scrambler. If I hadn't upgraded my system a couple of months ago, even I would have missed it.

Attached you'll find a copy of the messages

This Little Bird was in the servant's quarters when the message was sent. I suggest you do a search. I'm sending you an image of what the device likely looks like so your men will know what they're looking for. 

Bran


	712. RE: Intruder Alert  by Bran-doll

To: RIchard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Justin Massey cc Willem Snow cc Brynden Tully

 

Security has detected someone in the Servant's Wing attempting to send an unauthorized message to the outside.

Attached, see photo of device you are looking for

Search wing from top to bottom. Question everyone. If cannot find, ascertain who among the staff may be missing. we will attempt to track them electronically.

S Baratheon


	713. RE: Intruder Alert  by OneTrueKing

Horpe.....

Have your men get a visual on Tyrion Lannister 

SB


	714. A Meeting  by OneTrueKing

Tyrion Lannister,

I plan on meeting with you in the next few hours and I am told you are in no fit state to engage in coherent conversation. Do something to remedy this. My men will bring you black coffee and a hot meal. Pull yourself together and prepare to give an accounting for yourself. Your future may depend on the words you choose so choose them well.

Stannis Baratheon


	715. I'm Still Alive!  by G0dOtitsNwine

J

Not that you seem to care, but the Sean Bean curse has yet to claim me, though there was a rough moment earlier when I choked on a dorito.

If you can picture a humorless tyrant who makes even Father seem warm and cuddly, then you know what Stannis Baratheon looks like. Lucky me, I am soon to be interrogated by him.

I can't be certain, of course, but I am REASONABLY sure he is going to mention the little thing about OUR FAMILY PLOTTING TO MURDER HIM!

As I told you yesterday, you need to tell me where you stand in all this. I know it is something that requires thinking and thinking is hard for you, but I need you to focus. Sansa could easily be dead right now and I could be wearing a jingle bell hat and dancing to the theme from "Deliverance" because of what our father did. Time to choose a lane, Jamie. 

This teacup lion intends to tell Stannis anything he wants to know. I may never get to shit in his boots, but I will get some revenge on Tywin Lannister.

 

Tyrion


	716. RE: Sansa Medical Update   by OneTrueKing

Benjen

It has taken me a considerable amount of time to calm myself enough to reply to your last message. Perhaps you feel an armed siege while the lives of your niece and nephew hang in the balance is the proper time to unburden your guilty conscience, but I can assure you - it is not.

I was the one who asked for the truth and therefore I must suffer the hearing of it. But the things you confessed to fill me with a rage I have NEVER known.

Do you know how I am currently occupied, Benjen? I am holding the hand of your niece, your niece who is so traumatized and tortured that her demons caused her to literally FIGHT THROUGH A MEDICALLY INDUCED COMA. She has been whimpering and crying and alternately asking for her father and then pleading with him to stop while tears roll down her face.

Do you have any idea what it feels like to have someone you love in that kind of excruciating pain and you unable to lift a finger to help?

No, you don't. Because you may love Sansa and you may have seen her in pain, but you HAD the option of helping her. Saving her. Time and time again. And time and time again you made the wrong choice.

You DARE refer to Sansa as a "monster behind a beautiful face" when YOU are one of the ones responsible for her condition? How could you? How could ANYONE let that happen to a BABY? AN INFANT?

Of course little Sansa clung to Ned. That's how she learned to please him and cling to him so she wouldn't come to as much harm. It's all a powerless child can do to survive.

And then you tell me that you SLEPT WITH HER? WHEN SHE WAS 13?  
KNOWING YOUR BROTHER HAD ALMOST RAPED HER TO DEATH? KNOWING YOUR NEPHEW TIED HER NAKED TO A POST AND FORCED HER TO ENDURE EVEN MORE RAPE? HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU FUCK YOUR NIECE AND NOT PICTURE THAT TINY BABY WITH A BLOODY DIAPER?

The fact that you KNEW and had SEEN with your own eyes her broken and bloody little body and could still do that is an act that condemns you to death.

Right now I need your skills and knowledge to keep Sansa safe and alive. We don't even know the identity of all the players who may be plotting against us -- even inside our own walls. But I promise you this, Benjen Stark: When this ends - and it will end - I am going to kill you with my bare hands.

Stannis Baratheon


	717. By A Thread by WhiteSatin

Little brother--

I care. I love you. I'm afraid for you.  
Breathe, be brave and listen. I'm telling myself that and I don't know if it's working.

Little brother, there aren’t even words for this. I have said I’ve cut ties with Father, I said we could go open a bar in Lys, what more can I even say right now? 

You have to do what you need to do.

You didn’t see what I wrote to him. You didn’t know what Sansa means to me (or seven hells, meant. I hope it’s means.)   
Or Cersei.   
Do you think we’d let anyone in that close? Just anyone?  
I wish I’d gone in for her. I wish she’d known I was coming because maybe things could have been different.

Of course I care. In fact, for someone who tries not to have it, I seem to have developed an overabundance of care. I care about you, I care about Sansa and as much as you fucking hate it, I care about Cersei. To quote, I’m love’s bitch, at least right now.

Which brings me to the latest item on the list and why I’m off the rails right now: Joff is missing. I don’t think it’s a teenage dick move. At least not anymore.   
I’m keeping as much as I can from Cersei and keeping her in Valium and Pinot Noir since she’s already a mess till I can figure out what may be going on, how bad it is, what to do or say. I can’t reach Robert and my guess is that he’s dead drunk too. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt so utterly grateful for alcohol without having any of my own. 

I may have to talk to Father and I dropped the mic on him. I don’t ever want to talk to him again. That’s how bad things are. 

I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can, I love you and I am falling apart. I can’t do that right now. Going to spend ten minutes with the punching bag and start figuring how to handle this. Be safe as you can. I'm doing all I can.

Jaime

PS. I don’t need to tell you this but know that Sansa was/is (was?) our princess. Our fucking treasure.Every godsdamned thing was worth it since Cersei and I saw her smile at least once.  
You’ve seen it so I hope you understand.


	718. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

Is this some kind of a joke? Not happy babe. Am outside now but just want to let you know that we need to have a serious talk xx


	719. To Mr. Bolton by ProfessorB

Beloved Father

 

In fact I am too busy to contact you, as research is taking up all of my time. But I cannot ignore the disturbing news that has reached me all the way here at Oldtown.

They say a storm is rising over the Kingdoms and sadly the rumors include my good family name. I’m not surprised, but I am troubled by the fact that you seem to have been taking a liking to Eddard’s daughter in the middle of all this. I will not blame you your interest for pretty, bright maidens, but I am very troubled by your choice, regarding her name.

As always I assume my savage bastard brother is up to no good in all of this? In fact, I could not care less about his situation, but my manners compel me to ask.

 

Sincerely,

Domeric Bolton.


	720. RE: How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy by Rick

Hey, thanks for the advice - you're awesome. Luckily things worked out again. I have a teensy problem tho which is that he's introduced me to someone else & I'm kind of smitten. Big time smitten. Wondering how long it's appropriate to wait after a proposal of marriage to dump someone? Don't want to hurt his feelings - he's an awesome guy. Any advice?


	721. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

 

pleas stay away frm me.,,! i cant talk t you.. my theon cant dn this, this wasn supposd to happen.n 

we should be togther,.. i cant see you,, you've turned into a monster! why? 


	722. RE: To Mr. Bolton  by ProfessorB

"Professor B"

 

I don't know who you are, and apparently you don't know much about me.

 

But if you ever dare try and make sport of me with your lies and games again, I will make sure it's the last thing you ever do.

How DARE you mention my son Domeric OR Sansa Stark. I will remove the hands that write these lies. I will remove the tongue that speaks these lies. And I will remove the head that thought it clever to think these lies in the first place.

Maybe you've heard some tales of my bastard?

Remember who taught him everything he knows.

Do you think I can't trace this message?

ROOSE BOLTON


	723. For Ramsay Bolton by ProfessorB

Brother,

  

I cannot believe I am misusing any of my precious time writing you this letter. You have managed to always be the most troubling and time-wasting factor in my life, even now as we are this far apart. Luckily, this time I don’t have to hear your pifitul voice as you answer, which is quite a consolation.

Rumors have reached me at Oldtown and I am not proud of what I hear, especially regarding our family’s interference in the matter. What exactly is Dad’s plan, getting involved with Eddard’s daughter? And why are you not doing anything about it? I cannot imagine you being so busy fooling around, that you cannot find time to help secure our family name. I am asking you, will you for once make use of your crazy ways, and put her in check? She is no good to him. 

People at the University are very curious to know about my baby brother, and I regret each day that he hasn’t yet achieved anything gainful for me to boast about. I am not sure if this would help either, but at least you would have tried to do something of importance to the family, for once.

 

Sincerely,

Domeric Bolton


	724. To Mr. Bolton by ProfesserB

Brother, stop these childish games of yours. I have written you such a nice letter and this is how you greet me? 

Also, I am familiar with Dad’s writing, and this is not his. You better admit it or I will let him know that you are responding on his behalf. And we both know what that equals. Does he still close the windows when he punishes you, I wonder, or does he simply not care anymore?

 

Domeric Bolton


	725. RE: To Mr. Bolton  by IKilledYourAss

Look, Fucktard,

I'm in no mood for this shit. You're not my brother. I happen to know this because I made a nice pair of gloves out of him. AND I may have crafted some other shit out of him I sold on Etsy.

Maybe you should see what's happened to the last fool who thought they would be cute and send shit messages to me. Let's put it this way, I won't be able to re-purpose ANY part of them.


	726. RE: To Mr. Bolton by ProfessorB

Oh, my dear, sweet, silly brother.

I know you were having a very rough time when I moved away to college, but were you really that delusional as to think you had killed me? And still do?

I know Dad is very busy and is not talking much about me, but he must have mentioned me at some points. It doesn't sound like you are getting the right medical treatment. Or did you simply "forget" to medicate again? Must have been going on for a long time, it seems. I will have to talk this over with Dad.

 

Domeric Bolton


	727. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

look I'm really sorry I want so crazy & hit you so hard - I was kind of angry that you've been questioning me & been pretty challenging recently. you need to sort yourself out, babe, seriously. plus you really should know not to push my buttons, you know how stressed I can get. you're asleep right now or maybe passed out, I'm not sure, but when you wake up I'll show you this so that you know I've actually apologised. hoping you can do the same, you know? so sorry if your face is a bit messed up tomorrow - tho you look kind of tasty like that, I have to say. love you hon & don't forget it xxx


	728. RE: To R. by r

master i just have to say

your lovely gift is one great lay

i'm pretty into this new pet

and hoping if i'm good you'll let

me keep it cos i'm pretty smitten

thank you for this lovely kitten

though i'm hoping you won't hurt it, please?

i can train this pet with ease

without whips or belts or knives or chains

or any other kind of pain

i'm really hoping you won't mind

if all i do is just be kind 

xx


	729. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

My lovely pet, you didn't understand.

You were not to give him love and a gentle hand.

So I have removed his hands, feet and eyes.

Also flayed his cock, ball, ears, nose and thighs.

Tonight he will die.

Then you will cry.

As I beat your hide.


	730. Sansa Dearest by RooseTheMoose

My love,

I am so happy to hear you are awake and feeling better. Stannis will not let me or anyone else come near you. Even your brother cannot come too close and Qyburn is searched every time he walks away from you. I have asked the doctor to bring you the special lip balms from your room. I am sure no one has bothered to bring you any and we both know how important it is to you.

With my love and loyalty,

Roose


	731. RE: Where are yu? by SlowCrow

Im sorry about yesterday. I truly am. i didn't mean to annoy or upset you... But im so scared Theon. i dont recognize you anymore. I used to love you so. I still do. im sorry, please dont hurt me again, i will stay good I promise. i need you to hold me and be here for me. Im so scared, I feel lost. i've lost everyone, I need you to forgive me. Pleas.. I've spend a lot of time on this message, typing right like yo told me to. i will behave and be more thorough with my writing from now on if you wil just stay with me. I will try to clean up in the bedrom now,, even though my head hurts.

Pleas forgive me.


	732. RE: Sansa Dearest  by LemonCake

Dear Roose,

THANK YOU so much for having someone bring me my EOS lip balls. You KNOW how I hate for my lips to feel dry and chapped and I have been asking for them for what seems like days but everyone is probably too busy to bring them. You are such a thoughtful man, aren't you?

I am feeling much better since I woke up from my nap. Dr. Q has given me all kinds of vitamins he says will have me up and around in no time. Everything is still a little blurry....the last thing I remember is heating up some massage oil for Daddy's poor neck and shoulders. Then I woke up and Stannis was holding my hand and looking at me like I was about to die or something. I DO have quite the headache, but you know I've never been one to let a little pain stop me. ( wink )

I finally talked Stannis into going and checking on his men....I think he said something about having a talk with a cup of tea? No, that doesn't make sense...maybe I misheard him. 

I think he might be going a little overboard on the whole "overprotective" thing. I didn't even know he was coming and now he's here and has guards even inspecting my EOS!!! A girl likes to feel safe and protected and everything but to inspect my EOS balls? That's going a bit far.

At least he let me have my tablet back if I promise to be very careful about who I talk to. I'm sure he won't mind me talking with YOU since you work with Daddy. Daddy was here earlier and read me a story. It was very soothing but now I'm alone ( if you don't count 5 armed guards) and feeling a bit restless. No one will tell me why I have to stay in bed --- do you know? I thought for certain Daddy would tell me but he didn't seem to know either. Maybe Uncle Benjen will come and sit with me later. I asked Stannis to send for him but he just started grinding his teeth and sorta growling and said Uncle Benjen is very busy right now and doesn't have time for visits.

I guess I will just binge-watch some "Pretty Little Liars" on Netflix. Do you think I'm naughty cos I kinda have a thing for Spencer's dad? AND Pastor Ted? LOL

I wish you could come and visit and bring me lemon cakes. Maybe if I am a VERY good girl and do everything Stannis says, he will let you. Will you please write me back? 

Smooches!

Sansa


	733. New Sansa Update by OneTrueKing

Bran

I am pleased to report that Sansa seems awake and alert and seemingly in remarkable spirits. She is complaining of a headache but otherwise shows little or no side effects to having been shot and undergoing hours of emergency surgery. Perhaps Qyburn is not QUITE the quack I have believed him to be.

One thing IS troubling --- she apparently has no recall as to how she wound up here. She even seemed surprised -- albeit pleasantly -- to see me at her bedside. And I am more than a bit alarmed that she insists Ned has been there and read her stories. She is asking for Benjen and I absolutely forbid that.

I have some urgent matters to attend to, chief among them my chat with Tyrion Lannister. I have allowed Sansa access to her tablet, but I want you to keep a close eye on who she communicates with. I know you said you have blocked much of her access, but I still want you to inform me if she attempts to make contact with anyone. She is incredibly fragile right now and does not need to be upset. I am also going to place a call to Dr. Blackwood and give him a general idea of what is going on. Perhaps he will have some suggestions as to what strategies we might use with her until we can get her proper care.

Despite the fact she is wanting to kiss and cuddle, Qyburn insists she's still not stable enough to move. I would override him on this and we would already be gone if it weren't for the storm now raging. Davos and Horpe report all our men have been properly outfitted for these severe winter conditions but visibility is nearly down to zero.

There is no word on whatever person or persons attempted to send the unauthorized message to Petyr Baelish. A t search of the servant's quarters have turned up nothing and I know my men were thorough. Keep me posted if there is anything new on that front. AND if you hear anything concerning the status of Joffrey.

My man Massey has charge of Robert and I think it best we keep him on ice until we make ready to depart. I don't want to alarm Sansa, but we will need to pack some things for her. Is there a particular maid or servant that is familiar enough with her things that they could pack what is most precious to her? I tried to ask her some questions but all she seemed to want to talk about were panties and something called her "EOS" balls.

I expect a reply, Bran. I know you are dealing with a lot right now but your sister and your people need you sharp and alert.

Stannis


	734. WX Update by PockFaceSlayer

To: Stannis Baratheon cc Davos Seaworth cc Justin Massey cc Benjen Stark cc Brynden Tully cc Aerys Oakheart

 

Sir,

Reports indicate the snow storm we are currently experiencing is only expected to grow in intensity over the next 24-48 hours. Temperatures are holding steady due to heavy cloud cover, but visibility is near zero. 

Our men have been issued the necessary clothing and equipment. We came prepared for bitter conditions and the Starks themselves have an impressive stockpile of supplies, combined with what the Lannisters left behind. I would estimate we could maintain current standards of living for 3-to-4 months. Auxiliary power supplies and back up generators are off-line. 

The Tully/Martell camp inform they are well provisioned at this time and are maintaining their positions along the perimeters. They report drastic decrease in visibility but say enemy forces would encounter same. I have sent Oakheart to relieve Rainwood as liason to the Blackfish. 

I will keep you advised of new details/information as they become available.

Horpe


	735. RE: WX Update  by OneTrueKing

Massey,

Weather conditions necessitate a delay in our departure. This requires Robert be kept "indisposed" for a longer period of time. I arranged for one of Qyburn's men to bring you a supply of "additives" for his drinks.

Coordinate with Horpe or Seaworth concerning your relief. Make sure to cc me on any change.

SB


	736. RE: New Sansa Update  by Bran-doll

Aragorn, Isildur's Heir 

Gwaihir and I will keep eagle's eyes on our fair Luthien.

So far she has only sent a message to Roose Bolton. 

I'll let you know if she tries to fly over the cuckoo's nest.

Re Joffrey, I got no deets but from what chatter I did pick up he is no longer a problem. Hopefully I'll get more juicy details.

Gandalf, Wielder of Narya, Sacred Ring of Fire


	737. PM Itinerary  by OneTrueKing

To: Jorey Cassel cc Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Willem Snow

 

Cassel

I plan on interviewing Tyrion Lannister within the next half hour.

Have guards get a visual and confirm he is capable of such.

Also coordinate with SJ Umber regarding Bran Stark and mind-altering hallucinogens 

I need everyone sharp and on my page

SB


	738. Lonely Little Cub  by LemonCake

Daddy Tywin,

Your naughty little cub misses you! I just woke up with a terrible headache and no one will tell me why I must stay in this strange bed with so many guards and a doctor who keeps giving me shots.

No one will bring me any of my pretties and I am wearing this most HORRIBLE paper gown.

Stannis Baratheon has been sitting with me and keeping me company. He is VERY sweet and attentive but now he's gone and I am SO lonely and bored. Will you write me back and tell me about what we'll do at the Rock this summer and about all the pretties you are going to buy me to wear for you?

I have already asked Daddy if I can go with you and he says I may IF I am a good girl and obey you in all things. I PROMISE I will be good DaddyTywin!!!!

Could you please write me back ? I wish you were here to rub my little paws. And maybe if you like, I could put my antlers back on and we could play Rutting Stags again? I know how much you enjoy that and YOU know how much I enjoy giving you pleasure.

Kisses,

Your Red Cub


	739. RE:  Lonely LIttle Cub  by PrideofthePack

Sansa!

My sweetest girl! You don't know how desperately worried I have been to hear from you. What do you mean you're in a strange bed with doctors and guards? Where are you? 

I have been trying to call you for days.

Listen.....I need you to focus and be my little lioness, alright? I need you to find out where you are and who the men are guarding you. Can you do that for me?

I will be right here waiting to hear from you, sweet love.

DaddyTywin


	740. Stannis by RooseTheMoose

Thank you for allowing me to send Sansa her lip balm through Qyburn. I am trying to be very transparent with you so you are aware I mean my loyalty to the Starks. To my dear friend Sansa. And in that spirit I am informing you that I have received word that Tywin Lannister is in contact with our ill girl who is not thinking straight. He is asking her how many men are surrounding her. She has not responded yet, but I put my men on heightened alert for any trouble.

Please advise as to how else I can better help protect Sansa. Until this danger is over, I will bow to your expertise and do as you need us to do. This does not suggest anything more between the two of us then a mutual need to help out our friend. However, until this danger is gone, I wish to remain in as amiable contact with you as we can both tolerate. Let me help, Stannis. I am not trying to steal or hurt Sansa. When she returns to her senses you will hear from her own ears that I am her most loyal PLATONIC friend she has.

Roose


	741. Beloved Pet by RamFlyr666

I am sorry, pet. You misunderstood, didn't you? I meant for Joff to be a target for you to take your jealousy out on. It backfired and I was the one who became jealous. I got rid of all my other pets for you and you just shit on it. You didn't torture and kill the boy as I wanted, instead you dared to say you LOVED him! You dared to give him the gentle affection that should be only mine.

I had no choice but to mutilate him and force you to watch while I killed him. Perhaps it was too much to make you disfigure his corpse afterwards. You really fought holding that chainsaw with me and I did most of the work, not you. However, in the sake of kindness and mercy to you, I have let others dispose of the pieces. Do not fear, I did send him back to his family members. A few members actually. There was enough to pass around.

I believe I sent his head to his mother, his limbs to his father-uncle and his cock and balls to his grandfather. So there is that to make you feel a bit better. I am sorry I beat you so hard, I know that it can take a long time for fingernails and toenails to grow back. If your nose is broken, I will have the doctor fix it for you. I will check tomorrow but right now I am still too upset to speak with you in person. It might not be safe for you.

Please understand how much I want things to be good between us, Rickon. Don't worry, little pet, we will get through this.

Master


	742. Tywin Lannister by RooseTheMoose

Did you think that because Sansa Stark was injured that there would be no immediate harsh repercussion for your crimes against her?

Enjoy your package, Tywin. And if you continue to attempt to contact Sansa, I will send more relatives to you in small boxes.

Roose Bolton


	743. RE: To R. by r

i want mom i want mom i want to go home pls i'm only 15 pls let me go home pls let me see mom? pls i'm only 15 pls i need mom?


	744. RE: Stannis  by OneTrueKing

Bolton,

Rest assured I will put a stop to further communications between Sansa and that bastard Tywin Lannister. Thank you for alerting me.

I am, however, more than a bit suspicious that you know to whom Sansa is speaking and what their conversations entail.

As you said, Sansa is ill. I don't want her put under any more stress than necessary and I will do whatever it takes to keep stressful subjects --- or stressful individuals --- from her life. Am I making myself clear? As long as you are not a problem, you will not be treated as a problem. I am a man who does not care for problems.

Stannis Baratheon


	745. RE: New Sansa Update  by OneTrueKing

Bran

I just received a disturbing message from Roose Bolton.

He informs me Sansa has been exchanging messages with Tywin Lannister and he has inquired about the number of men we have. I thought I had made myself clear that you were to limit the people Sansa has access to. Tywin FUCKING Lannister is most definitely someone she should not have access to!

Not to mention the fact that Roose Bolton knowing to whom Sansa is speaking and WHAT they are saying to one another shows me your security is not nearly as tight as you would have had me believe. 

You need to pull your head out of your ass and get serious if you want you and your sister to get out of this mess alive! Do you understand? This is NOT one of your video games, boy. This is real life and these are real killers we are dealing with. Sansa and I are both counting on you to stay on top of security.

Stannis


	746. Possible Security Breach  by OneTrueKing

To: Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Justin Massey

There is evidence our communications, both internal and external, may not be as secure as we had hoped.

Be advised and take necessary precautions. For now keep this intel within the Baratheon chain of command only.

I will update with new intel as it becomes availbable.

SB


	747. Robert Baratheon Status  by SmilingMassey

Sir,

Robert Baratheon regained consciousness for a few minutes earlier. I administered the supplied sedative and he is once again sleeping.

You should be aware that in the few minutes he was awake and surprisingly alert, he insisted he had been speaking with Ned Stark. 

Advise if this is something Qyburn should be made aware of as a possible side effect of the tranquilizers.

Massey


	748. RE: Robert Baratheon Status  by OneTrueKing

Massey

Maintain status quo until further notice.

Alert me if there is further mention of Ned Stark.

S Baratheon


	749. Hi Tyrion!  by JailBait17

Hi Tyrion!

I just woke up from some kind of strange nap and saw your message. I'm sorry you were worried about me. I'm not really sure what happened to me but I'm fine now.

Are you still in the guest house?

If so, wanna come over for Netflix and chill? ( wink )

Seriously, I am bored and would LOVE a visitor.....though I'm not exactly sure I know where I am right now.

Stannis and Daddy have both been here but neither one will tell me anything. The last thing I remember was heating up some massage oil for Daddy and then the next thing I know I was waking up in this strange bed! Now, you and I both know I'm no stranger to strange beds ( wink ) but this is REALLY weird

It's so lonely here. I hope Stannis or Daddy come back soon. I will ask them if you can come over for a visit.

Later,  
SansaBait


	750. RE: Where are yu? by KrakAddict

It's ok babe. I understand. I've composed another song for you - let's just say I know what's on your mind so focus in particular on the bit about the 'broken wings' xx

Black Crow

Black crow singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Black crow singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Black crow fly Blackbird crow  
Into the light of the dark black night.

Black crow fly Black crow fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.

Black crow singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.


	751. RE: Hi Tyrion!  by G0dOtitsNwine

Sansa,

I'm so glad you are feeling better. You don't recall what happened to you? Not anything at all? That IS strange.

I'm afraid I am about to be tied up in a meeting with your friend Stannis, but I will ask if I can stop by. We can most definitely watch a movie, just as long as it's not anything with Sean Bean. I would explain, but it's a really long story.

I'm sure your father and Stannis are just looking out for you and trying to make sure you get your rest. You gave us all a scare with how sick you were.

Hopefully I will see you soon,

Tyrion


	752. Re:  PM Itinerary by OneTrueKing

To: Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth

Horpe,

Be advised there will be a delay in my interrogation of Tyrion Lannister.

Other matters require my immediate attention.

Have him informed of the delay.

SB


	753. Hi Stannis!  by LemonCake

Hi Stannis!

I know you are busy doing other things right now, but if you get a chance do you think you could come back and watch a movie with me? OR.....maybe we could think of OTHER things to pass the time. ( wink )

You're probably meeting with Daddy so if you see him could you remind him he promised to come back and read me another story? He told me not to tell you he'd been by, but I think that's just silly. WHY would you even care if he visits me? It's HIS house.

If you can't come yourself, do you think you could let Tyrion stop by for a while? I hate to be a pest, but I am really feeling fine and don't know why I have to stay in bed. OR why I can't just stay in my OWN bed in my OWN room.

HOPEFULLY I will see you soon. ( pretty please with sugar on top! )

Your Sansa


	754. Sansa Inquiry  by OneTrueKing

Qyburn

Is there further medical necessity for keeping Sansa in her present location?

She is expressing a desire to move back to her own suite and unless you have objections I am inclined to allow it. Not only would she be more comfortable, but her suite is less accessible to the outside and can more easily be secured.

I will be down shortly to supervise the move.

Stannis Baratheon


	755. Re: Hi Stannis!  By OneTrueKing

Sansa,

You don't know how relieved I am that you are feeling so much better. 

It should please you to know that I am making arrangements to have you moved to your own suite. Hopefully being surrounded by all your own things will make your more comfortable and alleviate any boredom. 

You cannot possibly be aware but we are in the midst of a snow storm that makes leaving here almost impossible at the moment. This requires me to be in almost constant touch with my men, but there is nothing to prevent me from setting up a temporary command headquarters in your rooms. I confess the idea of a movie is quite pleasant.

Rest for now and I will see you shortly.

Stannis


	756. RE: To R. by RamFlyr666

I am sorry little pet, your mother died the other day, choking in her own vomit. Your family knew you were missing and did nothing. They didn't care and still don't. In fact, if you ever managed to escape me and wander the streets...your family would do their damnedest to make sure only your lifeless body ever emerged. I am all you have. I am the only person to rescue you as I already have.

As to your age, that is the only reason I even took you back and gave you a second chance. You really don't understand things well, do you? Let me be very clear for you. You, Jon, Robb and Arya were nothing more than disgusting embarrassments. You didn't show loyalty to the right members of your family. So they dropped you. All of you. You and your sister are the lucky ones.  You both have Masters that care for you, protect you from worse things. You have no idea how much worse things could be. Or maybe you do have an idea, after all you did get chewed then buried alive by a cannibal.

Go back to your cute little poems and adoration. Or return to the poems that gave me attitude. Either way you are owned, you are my pet and that won't change. How I will treat you depends on how you act. I am sure you are old enough to understand that.

Your Master For Life,

Ramsay


	757. At Your Service  by G0dOtitsNwine

Dear Stannis,

I wanted to say I'm looking forward to our finally meeting face-to-face and that I plan on being as cooperative as possible. Believe me, I have NO loyalty to my shit-heap father OR sister. My brother Jamie is an affable fool with no small intellectual resemblance to a good-natured golden retriever. I know he's upset about what happened to Sansa and he's angrier at my father than I can ever remember. But just which camp he'll ultimately land in is anyone's guess. His ties to my sister are....complicated.

Speaking of Sansa, she sent me a message earlier and I'm relieved she sounds more like her old, bubbly self. She's asked that I come and visit her and I'd like to if possible. I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen her this entire time since I was pretty fucked up when I got here. I would ask Ned or Benjen Stark but I haven't seen either of them since right before all hell broke loose and I saw the boy get shot.

Speaking of, I've been trying to be some comfort to Bran. He's pretty messed up by his friend's death and nobody's talked with him much since Qyburn came down and played Fallout 4 with him for about half-an-hour last night. I don't know what pills he's been taking but they are apparently good ones and I do not intend to leave here without a baggie of them myself. Sorry. I know that's not your thing. But I am the despicable imp and I'm afraid things like that are very much MY thing.

Anyway, back to Bran. He rambles a lot about three-eyed crows and children and has apparently decided my new name is Frodo. Normally I'd take offense, but that's one of the better names I've been called since I've been in the North.

Yours sincerely,

Tyrion Lannister


	758. Stannis by Qyburn

Yes, Sansa may be moved back to her room.

More importantly, I have some terrible news to deliver to you. I would have told those morons had the sought my advice before giving Robert sedatives that he was already too intoxicated. I am afraid by the time I was notified it was too late. I tried everything even massaging his heart with my bare hands. I am very sorry for the loss of your brother.

Qyburn


	759. Re:  Stannis  by OneTrueKIng

Qyburn ---

Are you saying my brother has DIED???????

SB


	760. Re:  Stannis  by OneTrueKIng

Qyburn ---

Are you saying my brother has DIED???????

SB


	761. MASSEY, NOW!!!  by OneTrueKIng

MASSEY

CONFIRM STATUS OF ROBERT BARATHEON IMMEDIATELY!!!!

SB


	762. Stannis by Qyburn

Yes, your brother Robert Baratheon has passed away thanks to your men giving him sedatives while he was over intoxicated to a very dangerous level.

Qyburn


	763. Meeting  By OneTrueKing

To: RIchard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Justin Massey

Meet me at Sansa Stark's personal suite ASAP.

Speak to no one else about this. Bring six of your best men. Stay alert and keep your weapons at the ready.

SB


	764. RE:  At Your Service  by OneTrueKing

Lannister

This may be critical so I need you to focus and think carefully ---are you certain you saw QYBURN playing video games with Bran Stark? And are you certain that you have been in the presence of an apparently "intoxicated" Bran Stark since that time?

Also...and this is MOST critical ---can you say without one doubt that you saw Benjen AND Ned Stark on the grounds of Winterfell? You drink, Lannister. Could this have been some kind of hallucination? Or could you have seen another man and mistake him for Ned Stark?

I need an immediate reply --- Sansa's life could depend on what you have to say.

Stannis Baratheon


	765. Re: At Your Service  by G0dOtitsNwine

Stannis

I will answer your questions in the order you asked them of me:

Creepy guy who looks like he is overly familiar with dead bodies? Yep -- he was playing video games with Brandalf . Trust me, that is a sight one does not easily forget.

The kid fluctuates beween calling me Frodo and calling me Aslan and crying at how brave I was to sacrifice myself to save Edmund. I am rather an expert on being fucked up so I can say with 100% certainty he is FUCKED UP.

And YES....I am almost positive I saw Ned Stark walking with his brother in the garden. Tall, unhappy looking? freakish resemblance to Sean Bean? That was definitely him. Why would that be so strange? This IS his home. It is HIS daughter you are trying to save.

Tyrion Lannister


	766. Fuckery Afoot   By OneTrueKing

Commander Buckler

I need you and a team of your best men to make your way to the basement immediately. There you will rendezvous with myself and the rest of the command team. 

If you encounter ANYONE who did not accompany us from Dragonstone, shoot them on sight. No questions asked. If they are not one of us, assume they are the enemy. 

Stannis Baratheon


	767. RE: Hi Stannis!  by OneTrueKing

Sansa

This is very important so I need you to pay close attention. You will be coming with me and a team of my men. We are going to find your brother and Tyrion Lannister. 

I need you to say NOTHING about this to ANYONE. And that includes your father and Uncle Benjen.

Am entering your bedroom now and will personally carry you. We need to get you dressed in boots and warm clothing.

Stannis


	768. Re:  At Your Service  by OneTrueKing

Lannister

Your life may depend on doing what I say so pay attention. Without drawing attention, I need you to get Bran and yourself into the secure server room and lock yourselves inside. You will need to somehow distract his Stark guard long enough to do this. You're a Lannister so I trust you won't have any problems with deception, trickery, and lies.

I am on my way with my best men and Sansa. Do not open the door for ANYONE who is not me. And this includes ANY Stark or Stark guard.

Our communications may not be secure so I need you to act immediately before our enemies are alerted.

SB


	769. Re: At Your Service  by G0dOtitsNwine

Stannis

Okay, I have stoner boy and we are in the server room. He's fine except for screaming about having Doritos in here and yelling something about ringwraiths.

I distracted his guard by yelling "dragon". Can't believe that shit always works. Sansa will laugh.

Since you are being cryptic even for YOU, I assume something shady is going on?

Unfortunately I am sober and have had nothing to do but listen to the guards and think --something I don't particularly like but am actually quite good at.

From what I understand, Winterfell is setting up to be a veritable host for who's-who of the rich and powerful of Westeros. You and Robert here.... Roose Bolton making his presence known.... my father hovering.... even the Prince of Dorne and the Tully's. It's almost as if SOMEONE planned for all the movers and shakers to be in one place at the same time. Shame if something should happen to all of you ---a real power vacuum would open up and who knows who might step up to fill it.

Hopefully you have figured this out for yourself by now. I am allergic to bullets and rather enjoy my little teacup life, pitiful though it may be. I still have wine to drink, whores to fuck, and boots to shit in. So I really hope you know what you're doing.

Tyrion Lannister


	770. Harsh Mellows  by Bran-doll

Reepicheep to the High King Peter:

Aslan gave me a silver apple of healing. Said it would clear my head. Don't want a clear head, but he's the son of the Emperor over the Sea, so I suffer. 

Still think this is all a trip, but I play along. 

Re my dad/uncle Benjen, they've been in stealth mode for weeks. Dad had me put some back doors into our fair cyber Cair Paravel by the sea. My personal communications are secure -- didn't give away all my secrets -- but would be very difficult to fix the rest. Nuke it from orbit, dude. It is the only way to be sure.


	771. Tywin, Help!  by LemonCake

Daddy Twyin!

I am so confused I think my head is going to explode!

Right now Stannis has me down in Bran's creepy old server room in the basement and won't let me out.

Everything is so confusing Tywin and I don't know who or what to believe. He and Bran are showing me all these horrible messages they say Daddy and Uncle Benjen sent.....some of them even pretending to be ME!

And the things they SAY! All this crap about Daddy RAPING me when I was a baby and me having to have surgery! NONE of that happened, I swear it! And Daddy NEVER hurt me! NEVER! Sometimes he likes ME to hurt HIM, but that's when we're in the play room! And my brother Robb is a GIANT asshole and a loser but he NEVER raped me! I would have SO have killed him if he had even THOUGHT about laying a filthy mit on me! 

And those message say I am crazy and have been in a mental hospital --WTF???? They say Daddy wanted everyone to think he was dead and I had killed him! And that he was just gaslighting me by only seeing me or talking to me when we were alone. They even showed me messages where I said Gregor was going to kill me and that *I* shot Gregor!!! I don't know what happened to Gregor, I swear it! But *I* never shot him or anyone else!!! And nobody shot ME! I just woke up with a headache and memories of Daddy whispering to me to be a good girl and not tell anyone he'd been in to see me! I had awful dreams about that -- that I was going to accidentally say something and mess up his surprise. And they said you sent your men to kill me and attack Winterfell from within!

I've kept something from you because I didn't want YOU to be mad, but Tyrion is here. He says Stannis and Bran are right. He says that even though he hates you and thinks you're capable of just about anything, even YOU would never do anything that twisted......like have Gregor try and kill me! He says it's all a trap to get you and Stannis and Roose Bolton to all kill each other so Daddy can take over Westeros.

I don't know what to think now, Tywin. I'm not supposed to me messaging anyone but they're all too busy talking to notice what I'm doing. PLEASE help me and tell me what to do!!! I am SO scared and SO confused! On our way down here Stannis and his men killed FOUR of Daddy's men!!!

Please write or call me!!! PLEASE!! If you have ever loved me, you will help me!!!

Sansa


	772. For my brother, Theon by Jon

Theon my love

I am writin you this because ive been carrying a secret i need to reveal to yu. You wasnt supposed to find out yet, but with al that is hapening, i feel like I need to tell you noww, also you have the right to know.

you know I have always considred you my brother, althouh we both know you ar not a Stark by name. i am neither and thats why you have always ment so much to me. I always feltt we had something special. we undetstood each other in a way tat no onew else could. 

Thats also why I was to say the least, overwhelmed, hapy and frustrated at the sam time when my father told me that we are notonly brothers by heart, but by blood...

yes Theon, we are brothers throug you mother. my mother. Alannys Greyjoy., My father visited her on one of his trips to Essos and they became very close.

I wonderd why my father would tel me this. Aparenttly our mother was thhe only heir of a wine chateau in North Valyria. Our mom and your dad livd at the estate for some time, but things werent great between them. she feared him. When sshe had me, she told my father that she had changed her will, so that in case of her death, Balon would be deprivedd from inheriting any ofher values. Instead they would fal to me. When she died, Balon was forced tomove back to Pyke.

She was foolish enough to tell mmy father the other part ofthe will as well. That is when she had you she removed me from the wil and put your name insted. The plan was, when you turned 21, the will would be revealed and herr fortune handed over to you. of course my father wa furious. He had only eye for her money, so hhe brougt you into his family, forcing me tro befriend you. By yur 21st birthday i was to folow you to the estate as you wer to be presented with her inheritance. Here, iwas suposed to claim my righhtful part ofher fortune, whether it be by persuasion or by force

at first i did as my father told meto I just wanted to make him proud, and alsso wanted to belong somewhere. But as i got to know you, I realy did start to care for yu, and as you know, love you.

Im sorry for whatever hass happened between us. you must belive me when i tell you that i'm not interested inany of our mothers fortune, I only want to be with you. Stay safe wit you. Youre everything I have left and i need you to be with me.

i’ll leave this for ou to read on the computer in the livingrom when you come hom. i dont want to upset you, i realy dont. I'll lock myself inthe bedroom, to give you som space to take in this infomation. to be honest i am scared you wil hurt me for this. I hope you wontt and instead try to understand my reasons for teling you this now, as well asnot telling you sooner

with love

your brother, Jon


	773. Re:  Tywin, Help!  By PrideofthePack

Sweet girl

Listen to me. They probably don't want you messaging anyone because communications are not secure. Let me know when you can safely talk. Then I will tell you what to do.

I love you, my good girl

Daddy Tywin


	774. BOOYAH!  by Bran-doll

Ninja hacker to the rescue! Internal communications are secure, Stannis the Mannis. You can go all robot soldier to your heart's content. I will accept payment in thanks, Doritos, my sister's underwear, and blowjobs.


	775. READ IMMEDIATELY  by OneTrueKing

All Baratheon Storm Troopers

From this point forward regard everyone not one of US as the enemy. Take out with extreme prejudice. We have reasons to believe the Starks are NOT, repeat NOT, friendlies. 

Until further notice avoid Bolton and Tully men. If you do make contact, be prepared to return fire.

Communications were temporarily breached but are now secure. Keep chatter to minimum and stay sharp. Maintain current positions until further notice. 

Stannis Baratheon


	776. Re: Tywin, Help!  by LemonCake

Tywin

Bran says anything we say to one another on this laptop should be secure......he is chattering about ninjas and hackers and I don't know what all else but Stannis says it's safe.

I can't believe all those messages.....I want to throw up just thinking about them. AND they pretended to be Bran, too! He is SUPER mad because he says even at his most baked he would never sound like that. ( actually sounded just like him to me )

Please.....what should I do? I don't know if I should try and get in touch with Mr. Bolton and Uncle Petyr or not. Stannis doesn't want me to, I don't think he likes me talking to YOU, either.....but he knows we may need your help.

WHY would Daddy do this, Tywin? And WHY would he put ME in danger like this?

I am trying to be your brave lioness but it's really NOT working.

PLEASE WRITE ME BACK!!!!

Sansa


	777. Re: READ IMMEDIATELY  by PockFaceSlayer

Be advised just because communication lines are secure does not mean Bogies are not in possession of our devices. They could take them from bodies and right now we cannot get response from Oakheart who was supposed to be at Tully Camp. Perimeter troops report last having eyes on him over 12 hours ago.

This means keep your eyes open and expect anything from anyone at any time.

Stay sharp. Stay alive.

R Horpe


	778. Status Report by WyldeThing

To: Stannis Baratheon cc Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Jon Buckler

Sirs

Penrose and Wagstaff report finding a body in the hallway leading to the servant's quarters. It was an elderly female we believe was known as "Old Nan". She has devices on her person that lead us to believe she may have been the "Little Bird".

Penrose says it appears someone snapped her neck from behind. We have secured the body and the devices.

Wylde


	779. Status Report   by TurtleMan

To: Stannis Baratheon cc Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Jon Buckler

Sirs

Team sent to Tully Camp to re-establish communication with Oakheart reports finding bodies approx 2 clicks from main house in treeline. Bodies tentatively identified as Oakheart, Dondarrion, Swygert, and Brynden "Blackfish" Tully.

Please advise.

A Estermont


	780. Status Report  by TastyHasty

To: Stannis Baratheon cc Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Jon Buckler

 

Sirs

Patrol led by Tudbury & Storm reports finding a Mercedes sedan pushed off of the road and covered with several feet of snow. A preliminary look inside reports body of male, approximately 40 with single gunshot wound to the head. Storm reports shot likely inflicted at close range. ID on body and registration in glove box show the man to be one Petyr Baelish. 

Time of death is hard to pinpoint due to temperatures but lack of rigor, blood pooling to lower extremities, and the amount of snow on car indicates the body has been here 24 to 48 hours.

Advise

R Hasty


	781. Status Report  by StormTrooper

To: Stannis Baratheon cc Richard Horpe cc Davos Seaworth cc Jon Buckler

Sirs

Patrol of hall near medical suites has turned up bodies of Mertyn and Swann. Both appear to have been shot. Swann may have returned fire. We have found a blood trail that disappears into a wall. Repeat -- disappears into what appears to be a solid wall.

Please Advise

E Storm


	782. Daddy's Girl  by TheQuietWolf

My Sweetest Lemon Cake 

Clever girl to keep your device hidden! Make sure no one suspects that you are still in communication and onto their schemes. I'm afraid that somebody is telling terrible lies about our family. But my clever little Lemon Cake has lots of good friends who will help her.

What Daddy needs you to do is ask all your friends for help. Get Tywin and Roose to come here to Winterfell. You can do that, can't you my Sweetling? And when Daddy tells you, you'll open the server room doors and Daddy will rescue you. And then we'll have a nice shopping trip for some new La Perla for a good girl. 

I know I can always count on you to do your duty, Sansa.

Daddy


	783. Unholy Alliance  by PrideofthePack

Baratheon,

Sansa informs me this device will allow for secure communications. Let's hope so. I don't like you nor do I particularly trust you. But at least you know how to fight a war, unlike that drunken sot you call your brother.

Someone is trying to manipulate me. Someone is trying to make House Lannister look like fools. How quickly some forget the Rains of Castamere. I blame all the violence on television. It has completely desensitized people to wholesale slaughter.

As much as I hated being played by the likes of the Reynes and Tarbecks, I am down right INSULTED to be played by the likes of a fool like Ned Stark. 

My enemy's enemy is my friend. Tell me what you need. 

Tywin Lannister

 

"All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.”


	784. Re:  Tywin, Help!  by PrideofthePack

Sweetest Cub

I need you to trust me and do exactly what I say. And that means doing everything Stannis Baratheon tells you to do. WHEN he tells you to do it. At least for now. 

Someone has been trying to start a war and up until this point they have been very clever. But we are lions, aren't we? And that makes us the most clever of the bunch.

No one will hurt you. I will not allow that. 

You are facing some hard truths about people you thought you could trust. People you SHOULD have been able to trust. But none of that matters now. You are mine and I will make this all up to you.

Be my lion-hearted girl.

Listen to Stannis.

Daddy Tywin


	785. Re: Unholy Alliance  by OneTrueKing

Lannister

The dislike is mutual. But right now you are in the better position to help rescue Sansa and that's all that matters to me.

This entire castle is riddled like a rabbit's warren with tunnels and secret passages. Ned Stark & Co. are picking off my men like flies. I have lost a half dozen good men in the last few minutes and I am sure I will lose more before this is over. And what's worse, I have no reason to believe he won't kill his own children if it means his plan might succeed. The lies he has already perpetrated against Sansa sicken me.

Also dead is The Blackfish. All attempts to make contact with Edmure Tully, Barristan Selmy, and Prince Oberyn of Dorne have been unsuccessful. I fear it's likely they, too, have been killed.

Right now I have set up a command post in the basement of Winterfell. This allows us access to power supplies and computer servers as well as egress in getting out though a series of underground tunnels. I know how that sounds. Those tunnels could easily turn into a death trap. But it may end up being our only feasible strategy if things do not change. I cannot continue to have my men murdered by ghosts in the walls. 

I am pulling my men inside the house back to fight from a defensive position. Those outside will fall back and take cover as they await further orders. I don't hve to tell you the kind of weather conditions we are facing. Visibility is near zero and the storm is not expected to let up for at least another 24 hours. And this is Stark's home. He knows every inch of it and has the advantage in ALMOST all things.

There is no clear indication that Bolton has sided with Stark, though I suspect the doctor working for him is part of Stark's plans. Hence, the mummers farce of "operating" on Sansa and claiming to put her in a coma. There is also indication he may have contributed to the "diminished capacity" of Bran Stark.

I hesitate to contact Bolton, but he and his men are deadly and I do believe he cares for Sansa. That DOESN'T mean he won't kill my men and step over my body to get to her. Of course, I could say the same for you.

Let me know your thoughts re possible strategies and combined efforts.

Stannis Baratheon 

" Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”


	786. I'm Scared  by LemonCake

Roose,

It's me, Sansa. Oh, Roose.... I feel like my head could explode. So many crazy things are going on and I have so many people telling me what to do and honestly I don't know who to believe at this point.

I don't think Bran and Stannis and Tyrion would lie to me, but why would Daddy and Benjen want to hurt me, either?

Oh, Roose....I can't put it into words, but I just want to go to my secret place, the place where there are no people, no voices....just a cold, calm, silence. Does that make any sense to you, Roose? Or do I sound as crazy as Daddy apparently wants everyone to think I am ? 

When I was laying in that strange bed he was whispering all kinds of awful things and I can't remember all of them but they all got mixed up with my dreams and now I wish I could just cut that part of my mind out with a hot knife......just like I would cut out the last few days.

Tywin and Stannis are making all kinds of plans and I think they have probably already contacted you. You're probably too busy trying to save my silly self to listen to my ramblings. But for some reason I have always thought if no one else in the entire world could understand me, YOU could.

I hope I see you soon, Roose. I think I will. I just have a feeling.

Write back please if you're not too busy.

Sansa


	787. At Your Service  by TheNightsKing

Word on the street is there have been a large number of fatalities in and around Winterfell. I offer body removal services at very reasonable rates. Happy to pick up in any conditions. No job too big or too messy.

The Night's King


	788. Just like that shitty camp you sent me to when I was 12  by G0dOtitsNwine

Hey Dad

So .... I understand that you aren't actually the bad guy, in this very narrow specific instance. Not really sure how I feel about that, but OK. If you rescue my friends, and incidentally myself, I will try to be a bit less obviously publicly drunk. Sometimes. Because as unlikely as it may seem that it will happen, I do very much want to live. I'm willing to be beholden to you for that to happen.

I think Stannis's brain is going to explode. He has been MAJORLY mind fucked. I think he feels he's been mentally violated. Plus Robert is dead. And now a loser like Ned Stark has him trapped in a snowed in castle while he is running around like fucking casper the ghost picking off his men one by one. Really hurting our buddy's street cred as this military mastermind tough guy. 

Bran is doing OK, but really only because he's refusing to believe any of this is real. I envy the little bastard. 

Sansa ... this is hardest of all on her. Poor little cub. Her dad and uncle -- the two people she trusts most in the world...have betrayed her and used her as bait and may even want her dead. And on the other hand, Stannis, you and Roose are all telling her something completely different. I don't think she knows who or what to believe. She just wants to have an orgasm and take a bubble bath.

In all this mess, I have no idea where Rickon, Jon, or Arya are. Hopefully they are better off than we are, here in Winterhell.

So anyhow, if I don't live, I just wanted to say before I die ... that you were a total shit-heap father. Just the worst. And I am sorry that I never got to gloat over your corpse.

Your son, Tyrion.


	789. HEEEEERE'S  Johnny!!!!!  by Bran-doll

Bran to Bloodraven;

So the bad trip is continuing. I'm hallucinating that I'm holed up in the server room with a pack of people, all of them breathing and sweating and shedding skin cells all over my fucking servers. I'm pretty sure Tyrion Lannister is drinking vodka. If he gets liquids on ANYTHING, I'm going sodomize him with the fucking bottle. 

Stannis is planning to take us out through the crypts, but he doesn't look too hopeful. It sounds like what you've told me playing Doom in the 90s was like. I've asked for my own Big Fucking Gun, but Stannis just started grinding his teeth. Dude is going to need dentures soon if he keeps this up. Still, we have more guns than people, and he hasn't said no yet. I'm gonna get me some firepower!

I haven't wanted to worry anyone, but this place wasn't built to keep people safe, just computers. If anyone thinks to plug up the air vents, we're done for. Good thing this is all just Arya's pills, right? Right? Hunh? 

... shit. 

Nope, gonna think positive. 

But if you do have any resources for getting a dozen or so people out of a snowed in castle under siege, I'd really appreciate your letting me know. 'Cause I saw the Shinning. And I'm really regretting my decision to put on my red top this morning, if you know what I mean.


	790. Message from the  Muffin  by G0dOtitsNwine

Tyrion to Ramsey Bolton and all his torture porn crew;

Earlier tonight, your men came around planning to make me into a slave and I hid. I'm thinking I was a little hasty. Actually, I'm quite interested in becoming your personal bitch, if you were to come over right now and take possession of me. You are the only people likely to be able to get here in time through this storm. So I'm offering to get flogged and raped and dressed up in motley, if you will just come and save our lives. Also included in the package is one of the prettiest nymphomaniacs in Westeros, and a slightly orange-stained little stoner. Both are extremely fuckable. Stannis is also here. 

So if you wish to come and get us, and kill the people who are keeping us trapped in the Winterfell server room, I am happy to be debased by every porner in your crew. Thank you in advance, and I appreciate your interest.

Your future fuck-muffin, 

Tyrion Lannister.


	791. A Captain's Log by OneTrueKing

Davos,

In all the many voyages we've shared together, I never thought I would be the captain of a sinking ship. But that's exactly what this has turned into. This castle, Ned Stark, and the snow are the shoals I will wreck myself upon.

My biggest regret is getting so many fine men killed on my watch. Even my poor, drunken, fool of a brother. I was supposed to be the hero, swooping in to save the beautiful girl. And now my men are dead or dying and the beautiful girl is going to perish right along with us. It's all been in vain. I only hope that you make it to safety, my old friend. My only friend. Once the storm clears, get yourself and anyone else still alive to that chopper, whatever it takes. 

If I am entirely honest, I regret many of my decisions. But I cannot say that I regret the choice to come here. Sansa is simply the loveliest and purest soul I have ever known. I still cannot entirely believe my feelings are returned. To have these few hours with her was not worth the lives of my men, but it was worth my life. My heart burns for her, and I shall lie in my grave knowing I tried to protect her. I know there are those who will call me a fool for chasing after a young beauty like Sansa. I don't expect you to understand it. I'm not entirely sure I understand it myself. I only know that when I am with her I feel the same peace I get from the sea. I wish I could have taken her out on the water with me just once. 

I sit here helpless, knowing all I can do is pin all hope on Tywin Lannister. Twyin Lannister! My dentist would lecture me, but I grind my teeth at the very thought. 

Still ... If a man knows what he is and remains true to himself, the choice is no choice at all. He must fulfill his destiny and become who he is meant to be, however much he may hate it.

Your friend,

Stannis Baratheon


	792. Re:  At Your Service  by TheNightsKing

To: The Night's King

Re "At Your Service":

Word on the street is spot on. If the bodies of the dead are of use to you, please feel free to collect them. One of them is likely to be small (mine), but quantity over quality, amiright? I hope you have a big vehicle. 

Tyrion Lannister.


	793. Re: At Your Service  by TheNightsKing

Thank you Mr. Lannister. I shall be by at earliest possible to collecti remains. Be assured I shall take full care of them as they move into the ... next stage of being. 

The Night's King.


	794. RE:I'm Scared by RooseTheMoose

Dearest Sansa,

That cold calm place is a good place, safe. It is perfectly fine for you to go there if you feel you must. Stop allowing all these voices to play in your head, stop allowing all these frantic rushing men to perturb you. Remember who and what you are then embrace it. If you look deep inside, my best of friends, I am already there with you. So stay calm and breathe, I will visit with you very soon.

Roose


	795. Message from the Muffin by RamFlyr666

I nor my boys will flog or rape you but we do insist on you wearing a jingle hat while dancing and telling jokes. It might cheer up my poor little pet R and will certainly cheer up Damon's pet WolfGirl. I know that it will amuse the shit out of myself and the boys. In fact, I will go one better. If you can cheer up the two pets and the rest of us, I will offer you a protected and paid position as our private jester. No chains, no grinning men with hard cocks late at night, oh and best of all...all the wine and whores you could want. You would never be safer in your life, unless you tried to betray us of course. Then very terrible things WILL happen to you and it will make life with your father seem like a pleasant dream you once had. We are coming to the rescue as you requested,

Ramsay 


	796. Jon by WolfGirl

 my new face is pretty i like it now that it doesn't hurt so much. my old bad face hangs in a special room with others at the scary man house where i still have to stay. master showed me when he got mad at me and i cried. he whipped me while i had to look at the bad face but he is kind he made me understand that this is a good face i have now so i will be good. i can go outside which is very good. it is scary at first, if others are there i hide or hug my master's leg but if it is just us it is better. grass is soft for crawling and kneeling it feels good and i am really good at playing fetch and ball. sometimes r comes out too and plays with me it makes our masters laugh. but r hasn't played with me in two days i haven't seen him at all. when i was laying under a bush i like i heard them talk. r is very sad right now and it is making his master upset. i feel bad and if i see r i will help him to be good and maybe he just needs a new face. i hope you are safe.


	797. Re: Message from the Muffin  by G0dOtitsNwine

I will make with the jingle hat, the dancing, and the jokes. Believe me, I can make your boys laugh, along with "R" and "wolf girl", whoever the hell THEY are..... If the wine and whores materialize, it will be a plus. But Sansa and Bran go free. Stannis too, for what that's worth. Deal?

Tyrion "Jester" Lannister


	798. Re: Message from the Muffin by RamFlyr666

It is a deal then. I will guarantee that not a single man of mine nor myself will touch those three individuals. Sansa, Bran and Stannis are off limits. Start practicing your routines.

Ramsay Bolton


	799. Tyrion from RooseTheMoose

Tyrion,

I have just overheard a rather entertaining conversation from my son. Before you agree to anything, please rest assured, I have no intention of hurting Sansa, Bran or Stannis. My son and his men are under instructions to not cause any harm but rather to protect them. I do not generally involve myself in the affairs or fun of my son or his friends. But he asked me if you would cheat him, get saved by him then run off or attempt to have them killed.

So here is your warning from me. You will be rescued and protected by my son. You best not trick or injure him or you will face me.  You will abide by your agreement with Ramsay however I will meet with you once this is all over with. If they have acted honorably which I am assuming they will. I have just watched Skinner fill a room here with strange jester's clothing and they have added four cases of my wine as well as two girls of ill repute. They have informed me it is the new Jester's room.

Stay low and careful until help comes for you,

Roose


	800. Uncle Petyr  by LemonCake

Dear Uncle Petyr

The first time you asked me to sit on your lap so you could inch your hand slowly up my skirt, rub me through my little panties and ask me if I wanted to come for you, I thought I was in heaven. That was only the beginning, of course…

I will never forget the night you made me wear that studded butt plug up my tight little ass all through a family dinner, and those vibrating panties over it. My face was so red when you randomly made the panties vibrate at certain points through the evening and forced me to have a really quiet orgasm in front of everyone. The way you made me suck your cock four times before you relented and took the plug out was AH-may-zing, but only because of how you still managed to get it up after all that to fuck my ass, too.

I just want you to know I am going to miss you. Our times together were golden, as were our showers.

Love ya!

Your Sweetling


	801. Good Things  by TheQuietWolf

Bran, I hope you are enjoying your trip. Arya is here with some more pills if you need them. She and Jon are playing Call of Duty and eating Doritos. The smell of cheesy corn chips is floating through the basement. I'm getting the munchies just breathing it in. I've put a bag outside the server room door. All you have to do is open the door and you'll be feasting.


	802. Memories  by Lemon Cake

Uncle Ed,

I just want you to know how much I cherish all our memories together. I know you wanted to try more kinky stuff, but after the incident with the hot candle wax and the latex body suit (I am still sooooo sorry about that by the way) I’m glad we stuck with what we’re good at.

No one but you has ever made me come just from teasing my nipples, and your nose is JUST the right size and shape to make me soooo happy when I sit on your face. I will miss the way your cock feels when you fuck my tits, and no one has ever given me facials that compare with yours.

Your naughty girl,

Sansa


	803. My Sweet Sugar Walls  by LemonCake

Uncle Benjie.....

I don't even know what to say to you. I have loved and trusted you more than just about anyone in my ENTIRE life and now I find out you've just been spreading sick lies and rumors about my "Sugar Walls" being all messed up! People are probably gonna start calling me "Diaper Cake" instead of Lemon Cake!!!

Did they FEEL messed up the last time you fucked me? Didn't think so. Soooooo glad I said NO to that whole "two girls/one cup" thing you wanted to try.

I hope your memories of that time I let you put the spreader-bar between my thighs under my dress before our shopping trip so you could watch me have to walk around like major SLUT and sit at that restaurant with my thighs spread wide instead of crossing my ankles like a lady will haunt you FOREVER, because I will never let you do anything like that again! Nor will I ever let you watch as I sit on the biggest dildo from the dildo store again! NOR will I put Mama's pearl necklace up your ass and slowly pull it out one bead at a time. 

Please delete the videos!

No fucks given, especially if you get me killed!

Sansa


	804. UNhappy Good Girl  by LemonCake

Daddy,

You know I have always been your GOOD GIRL and done my duty no matter what. You have been my "first" EVERYTHING and now you are also the FIRST to break my heart!

Plotting to kill all my friends and using ME as the bait to do it? That is just NOT cool. Gaslighting me and making everyone think I was crazy and making you up? Not all the La Perla panties in the world can make up for that, ESPECIALLY when you could have gotten me AND Bran killed in this whole mess.

Tywin and Roose are FIVE TIMES the daddies you have EVER been! And Stannis loves me enough to storm this castle and risk losing all his men just to save me.

I will always cherish my memories of slathering you in oil and massaging you all over - always giving you a happy ending, of course - but I hope you are tormented by the memories of my lips around your cock, and my own perfect, oil-slicked body rubbing all over yours, and letting you massage your come into my tits. You’re never getting any of that again, because like the song says, we are never , ever, ever getting back together!

I BEGRUDGINGLY love you,  
Sansa


	805. My Best Daddy  by LemonCake

Daddy Tywin,

If I die, I want you to know that my times with you were cherished and treasured. I loved every moment of being made to crawl on my hands and knees as you tugged me along on my pretty leash. Even when you made me crawl across the garden, in full view of the neighbours, all kitted out in a ball gag and nipple clamps, with vibrators buzzing happily away up my ass and my honey pot! (Actually, that was my favourite time!)

I loved every time you made me lick your boots as you spanked me with your riding crop, every time you fucked my throat with my head hanging off the side of the bed, every time you made me eat your ass out (don’t worry I won’t tell anyone you like that), and I especially loved that time when you decided to collect all your come in a jar in the fridge over a week and then pour it all over my face, my hair and my naked body. I’ll never forget how you made me wait until it got all crusty and then made me get dressed and go home, forbidding me from showering until the next morning.

My times with you and the other cubs were memorable, too, and I won’t forget them, either! I especially cherish the time I had your cock up my ass, Jamie’s cock up my honey pot and Cersei sitting on my face.

I hope you will keep the hooves, the stag horns and butt plug with the doe tail somewhere safe, and think of me every time you play "Stags and Rutting Does" in the future. I always enjoyed it so much when you mounted me, my glorious lion-stag! I hope you will watch the ‘nature documentaries’ we made together regularly as you collect your come in a jar.

Your ruby cub,  
Sansa


	806. Sweet Dreams, No Regrets  by LemonCake

Darling Roose,

I hope I live through this, but in case I don’t - I just wanted to tell you how much your friendship has meant to me. I know you’ve never wanted to dip your undoubtedly big, thick, cock in my sweet honey pot, but you should still know that I often dreamt of you, and wondered what sort of lover you would be. I know it’s not the sort of relationship we had, but you are such an attractive man, and I just couldn’t help thinking of you sometimes when I touched myself.

My favourite fantasy involving you was one where you would kidnap me, and I would wake up, tied up and naked in a room with several cameras. There would be a meter long pole tied to my ankles, separating them and spreading me wide, and my hands would be tied to a chain suspended from the ceiling. I’d be bent over, my tits hanging and my nipples clamped, and in front of my face there would be a big black dildo connected to a contraption that made it thrust forwards at various speeds that only you could control.

Your voice would sound from a speaker somewhere, and you would order me to suck the dildo. If I was good and sucked it for as long as you wanted, you would press a button that would turn me around and let the dildo fuck me. If I was bad at sucking the dildo, you would turn on another contraption that I would not have been able to see except for the live-feed from the cameras showing me exactly what I looked like from every angle on a screen I could just about glimpse. The contraption would of course spank me with a paddle if I wasn’t good enough at sucking on the dildo. The only way to make the contraption stop spanking me would be to really increase the effort of my sucking.

Oh, Roose, you have no idea how hard I would make myself come to this fantasy!

I hope you don’t think any less of me or of our friendship due to this confession.

Love,  
Sansa


	807. My One True King  by LemonCake

Stannis,

You have been the only man I have ever truly been myself with. You made me feel safe, cherished and adored. Protected from the evils of the world and even a little bit needed. Yes, I do think you needed me. You needed me to be your special pet. The one you could really take care of and pamper, and the one who would take care of you and pamper you in return.

I will never forget our time together at that Tyrell party a few months ago. You were so hesitant at first, so determined not to take advantage of me or hurt me in anyway way… It was magical to see when your walls broke down and you couldn’t resist me any longer. I know I probably should not have pulled you into that room and stripped down to my panties and silk stockings for you, it made you so red in the face… but I think it was worth it.

The way you took care of me that night… the way you made me come on your tongue so many times… I don’t think a man has ever taken the time to worship my body the way you did. I was so wet and swollen with pleasure by the time you finally put your magnificent cock in me, that I think I was coming again within ten seconds! I was coming the whole time you made love to me, just WAILING with pleasure and clinging helplessly to you…

Do you know you are the only man who has pumped load after load of his come into my honey pot in the last three months? I won’t pretend I haven’t spent time with others - we never agreed to be exclusive, although I would have loved it if you had asked me to - but I’ve only been giving blowjobs and massages, and once I took it up the ass. (Would you like to try that with me? I really like it!)

I’m not telling you this to make you jealous. I’m only telling you because I think I might possibly be a little bit pregnant, and you are really the only candidate to be the father. It makes me thrilled and happy to think it, and I hope it does not fill you with anything but good emotions, too.

I hope we get out of here alive so that I will be able to find out for sure if what I suspect is true.

I hope we can be together after this.

I love you.

Always yours,  
Sansa


	808. I Never Saw This Coming.....  by G0dOtitsNwine

Tyrion to Stannis;

I am sending this to you electronically, because I don't want the kids to know what I am planning. I may have a deal to get the Boltons to take out the Stark men. You, Sansa, & Bran will go free -- and I'll go back to the Dreadfort Arms with them to become Ramsey's personal jester. It isn't ideal, but what they are offering does have upsides in the wine, women, and not being raped categories. My father will be livid, so that's a plus. 

You still have to get yourselves to the chopper, and that's going to be a dangerous trip through the crypts. But this gives you a chance. I hope you and Sansa live a long, happy, and filthy life together. Name a sex position after me. 

Tyrion

PS Hell, I'm sacrificing myself for an obnoxious boy. I AM Aslan.


	809. Sweet Dreams, No Regrets by RooseTheMoose

Dearest Sansa,

I am flattered beyond belief that you would include me into such vivid fantasies. To be honest,  I was aware of your interest in me as I was just as interested but I never dared to touch you. To be frank, as I always have been with you, I never wished to take advantage of you. I never wished to use your body and neglect your mind as most of your lovers do. They underestimate you and I will never do that, my dear.

You will be seeing me very soon. In fact, I am not far from the room you are barricaded in right now. I am coming to help you, dearest Sansa. I am told you will be evacuated along with Bran and Stannis. I would be honored to help guard you as we get you to safety. Do not worry about your guest Tyrion, my son and his friends will be taking him out of Winterfell and safely protected and cared for at Dreadfort. He is not a hostage, he has made a deal with Ramsay that includes keep Tyrion drunk, happy and quite safe.

Your loyal friend,

Roose


	810. Help Me, Brother!  by DefinitelyNotAWolf

STANNIS!!! I WOKE UP IN A HOUSE FULL OF DEAD BODIES. I AM LOOKING FOR NED AND CAT. RIGHT NOW I AM OUTSIDE THE SERVER ROOM IN THE BASEMENT. 

WHAT IS GOING ON???!!!!!????

YOUR BROTHER, ROBERT


	811. Tyrion by RamFlyr666

Tyrion,

We are here, we are almost to you. When you hear four knocks, let us in. I have a bullet proof vest for you. We shall guard you well, but I think yo would look wonderful in the large jacket and it will offer you extra assurance that we care for your safety first.

Do not worry for Sansa, Bran or Stannis. My father and his men are on it, they will guide them through the secret tunnels to freedom. Four knocks, Tyrion. If you hear anything else, do not open that door.

Ramsay


	812. Father by RamFlyr666

Father,

We have managed to kill several men that were wearing uniforms that were Stark, Baratheon and there were even a few wearing Lannister colors yet looked like those freaking Wildlings. It is very strange and confusing. Regardless, we emptied the main portions of Winterfell and got Tyrion out safely. He is objecting loudly about being thrown in a sack and carried out, but it was the safest and funniest option that Skinner could think of.

He is now installed in his new room, Tyrion has already made himself at home with his wine and whores. I shall leave him to his own devices for the rest of the day. Tonight is soon enough for him to meet the pets.

Ramsay


	813. Lemon Cake in the Oven?  by Bran-doll

Hey my Luthien;

I've been monitoring communications ... are you OK with the" little bit pregnant" situation? Do you need some of my emergency Nacho supply? (I'm sending this electronically, because it seems to be a need to know thing). Your Bran-doll is here for you.

Just to be sure, you can't get a girl preggers by wacking off in her underwear drawer, can you? Just asking. 

I think Stannis is going to have an aneurism. I get this nasty feeling that nobody has confirmed Dad or Uncle Benjen are dead, and it is a LONG way to that chopper pad. And when I asked where Aslan was, he told me not to talk about it. And he's grinding his teeth like a fucking chainsaw. Poor Stannis the Mannis. Do you think I should offer him some of my stash? I think the news of impending fatherhood may have been that final straw for his sanity.......

I'm not liking the tread of heavy feet every time we stop, either. That Qyburn dude was good at Fallout 4, but he smelled funny and I think he was doing some weird stuff in his lab. And there seem to be a lot more people in Winterfell than just Stark men and the Boltons. And I'm pretty sure I saw someone walking around with a bullet hole between his eyes.

BTW, speaking of dead people did you see that creepy dude hauling away the Smalljon's body? He drove here in the middle of a snowstorm just to pick up the dead in his corpse van. What a loser. LOL.


	814. Re: Lemon Cake in the Oven?  by LemonCake

There's a person with a large ALL-WEATHER VEHICLE upstairs? Then why the hell are we going through the tunnels to get to the chopper pad? Message the corpse dude and ask how much it will cost for him to drive us to safety, you numbskull!

Be nice to my baby-daddy! He's got a lot on his mind right now.

And no, you can't get a girl pregnant that way. But you shouldn't be masturbating in my underwear draw for a lot of other reasons, OK?


	815. RE: At Your Service  by Bran-doll

Hi Dude. There are about a dozen of us hoping to leave Winterfell pronto. Do you have a big vehicle capable of going through the storm? We can pay.

Bran-doll.


	816. RE: At Your Service  by TheNightsKing

Re At Your Service;

Thank you for the inquiry. I am indeed in possession of a large "people mover" type vehicle which handles well in cold conditions. It is somewhat full right now, but for the right consideration, it could be emptied. I must caution that there is a significant unpleasant odour. I hope this will not be a problem.

I will await your party outside the main doors of Winterfell..


	817. Stealth Formation by OneTrueKing

Remaining Baratheon Party,

Until further notice, all communication will be electronic ONLY. We don't know where the enemy is or when they could pop up. Stay sharp and stay quiet.

SB


	818. A Plan  by Bran-doll

Bran to Stannis cc Sansa:

Sending this electronically as we are trying to be super-stealthy. Not loving this chopper plan. We're vulnerable as fuck in these tunnels, and what happens when we get there? Taking off in a storm? 

LemonCake and I have an alternative. Per the attached, the Night's King is on the property with a vehicle that will carry us all and go through the storm. All we have to do is double back to the house and he'll meet us and take us to safety. Problemos all solved thanks to Sansa's smarts and my wizard abilities. 

Speaking of which ...

If you hurt my sister or her little one in ANY WAY, I will end you. Sure, I may not look like much. I'm 120 pounds soaking wet, and I have the muscle tone of an overcooked noodle. But I have ways, soon-to-be-brother-in-law. And be warned. You won't be getting any second chances. 

Bwahahahahahah.


	819. RE: A Plan  by LemonCake

To: Stannis cc Bran  
You guys need to stay quiet!  
Stannis, I can HEAR your teeth grinding!  
And Bran -- stop snickering while you're typing!

Roose Bolton just messaged me that he and his men are at the Server Room and looking for us. I told him we are headed back that way and will hook-up with him and his men in a few minutes. IF we don't get murdered by my crazy father and uncle and whoever the hell else might be jumping out of the woodwork. 

Willem also messaged me -- he's been hiding in the crawl space under the basement steps....he can join up with all of us as we head for the front door and the outside

Sansa


	820. RE: A Plan  by OneTrueKing

To: Sansa cc Bran

I have not signed off on ANY change of plans, including a rendezvous with Bolton. 

We may have been vulnerable in the tunnels but we are even MORE exposed inside the castle itself. 

PLUS, if you think I am going to entrust the two of you, MY unborn child, AND my men to some random stranger with a smelly vehicle, then you are both out of your minds.

Stannis


	821. RE: A Plan  by LemonCake

Stannis

First of all, this is OUR baby. And secondly, I want all of us to survive long enough for him or her to be born! And going thru creepy dark tunnels that Bran says may stretch for FIVE MILES before having to wait for a chopper that MAY not even be able to find us in the storm is NOT the best way to go about that.

I know you know military tactics and how to lead men....but Bran and I know the North and its weather. Please, PLEASE trust me. This is the best way for all of us AND our baby. 

Gods, I SO want to fuck you right now. All this danger and the idea of carrying your child is making me SO hot!!!

Your naughty Lemon Cake


	822. RE: A Plan

Sansa

While I appreciate the sentiment, now would not be the appropriate time for such a course of action.

S


	823. RE: A Plan  by LemonCake

Appropriate or not, I still want you to push me up against one of these tunnel walls.....pull down both our pants and fuck me through the damn stone til I scream your name.

That MIGHT get us all killed. But what a way to go! ( wink )

LC


	824. RE: The Plan  by Bran-doll

Bran to Stannis cc Sansa:

The two of you do realize that I'm still monitoring communications, right? Maybe hold off on the SEX-ting until AFTER we escape from immanent peril? 

I swear, I can hear the sound of dragging feet. DRAGGING FEAT, PEOPLE! PLEASE FOCUS!


	825. I See Dead People  by Bran-doll

Hey there Roose the Creepy Goose;

My fair sister Sansa, Stannis, what's left of his men, and I will be back to the server room soon. We have a tentative arrangement for a ride from a dude called the Night's King in his People Mover van. None too soon, if you ask me -- my Dad's gone all "you don't know the power of the dark side, Luke" and Benjen's gone full Sith with him. But that's not the worst. I see dead people. And not in a Sixth Sense kinda way. So keep your guys in the server room until you hear from me. 'Cause you're pretty creepy alive, and I don't wanna even THINK about what you'd be like dead. 

Bran


	826. You Will NOT Believe This  by Bran-doll

Bran to Bloodraven

Hey man! So while you’ve been watching and playing with your dick, shit went DOWN! 

BTW, also cc Tyrion. Not you, man. Respect. You are officially my new spirit animal.

We met up with the Boltons, and Stannis and Roose were like mano eh meno. Pretty darn sexy, if you ask me. But Sansa went all touchy feely with both of them at once, and then we were on the move like a pack of badassess. 

Stannis was all constipated with, like, compressed neutrino star matter, dude, and he wouldn’t let us get into the Night’s King’s People Mover van. We all had to squeeze into the two Bolton SUVs. All I can say is that it is lucky I’m a guy and Sansa is already pregnant, because those were some CLOSE quarters, if you get my drift. 

The Night’s King was pretty pissed at first, since he had unloaded his bodies. Stannis was just paying him off when they came around the corner … a FREAKING ZOMBIE ARMY! Like, the Mountain in the lead, and Peter Baelish and my mom hobbling along with their arms around each other. My dad and uncle Benjen were running from them, but they fucking got caught. My mom ripped out my dad’s throat and Old Nan ate his brains. Uncle Robert twisted Benjen’s head off and pulled his gut out like noodles. 

Yay? 

Dude, you should have seen that Night’s King guy. His eyes lit up like he’d just seen Santa Clause. Seriously, they lit the fuck up. Freakiest think I ever saw. Oh, and last thing I saw, he was walking off with dead-Qyburn. That doesn’t sound good, right.

Anyway, we gunned the engines when we saw all that. Stannis sprinted for the vehicle, yelling, ‘go, go’. We had the door open, and he made the jump from a dead run. Pretty manly. 

Dude is still fucked if he messed with my sister, though. 

When we got to the road, we met up with a few more survivors. Edmure, Oberyn, Barristan, and a few of their guys made it out. We’ve got another car now, so my odds of getting an STD are going down. 

So now we are driving south through a white out. Stannis is behind the wheel. He has those crazy eyes, and that ‘I’m not stopping’ face. Fuck, I wish I had some Doritos. 

But you. What you did for us, man. I just don’t even know what to say. This last week, my mom basically killed herself, and my dad killed or tried to kill everyone I know. Plus, you know, like, me. Fuck. Stannis is a good dude, but he’s screwing my sister (along with everyone else), so he has a motive. But you … you helped us because it was the right thing to do. I just don’t know what to say. 

You didn’t know this, but Sansa is pregnant. She wants to call the baby Florian, but I’ll push hard for Tyrion as a middle name. 

I never really understood this great quote before, but now I do: “It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place that I go to than I have ever known.” Like, when Spock said that to Kirk, the dude didn’t understand. But by the end of Wrath of Khan, he totally did. I feel like that about you, man.


	827. Position Update by OneTrueKing

From: Stannis Baratheon  
To: Tywin Lannister

Lannister

Have Sansa and am headed with all due speed away from this hell hole. Give us another half-hour to get clear and then launch "Operation Wolf's Wail".


	828. RE: Postition Update  by PrideofthePack

From: Tywin Lannister  
To: Stannis Baratheon

Confirming Drone Launch. Drones should reach target within next 10 minutes. Be careful, Baratheon. You carry cargo that is precious to me. I will be in touch.


	829. NOT Good-bye  by LemonCake

Roose,

I can never thank you enough for what you've done for me and what's left of my family. Just know that I will watch over "Willem" as if he were my own brother and protect him with my life, as I always have. 

I've already told you good-bye once, so this isn't good-bye. Because I know I will see you again. I don't understand it, but I feel it....whatever it is inside you that draws me to you like a moth to a flame. No...that's not right. It's no kind of flame or light. I am drawn to the darkness in you....the darkness that calls to the darkness in me. 

I'll be in touch....and I like to travel. ( wink )

Always yours,  
Sansa


	830. RE: You Will NOT Believe This  by G0dOtitsNwine

Tyrion to Bran.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. That is Spock quoting Charles Dickins, A Tale of Two Cities. It is a book. A very good book. A very famous book. Brandon Stark, if you wish to honour me in any way, read a goddamn book once before you die. Your sister can loan you one. And help you with the hard words. She’s a clever little nymphomaniac cookie. 

You two take care of each other. And baby Florian.

If you ever wondered why you and Sansa are so much smarter than the rest of the Starks, then there is something I have to tell you. Your mom was always pretty drunk. There is no easy way to say this, but Bran-doll Stark, I am your father. 

Nah, I’m just fucking with you. But I had you for a minute, right?

I’m doing OK here at casa Dreadfort Arms. I’m pretty good at the wit and capering, and the Bolton boys have a surprisingly superior quality of wine. When one just gives in to them, they have their moments. There is none of those mind games my family excels at. If they set rules, and those rules are obeyed, then no problem. And they appreciate a good laugh. 

I can work with that.

The other pets are doing OK. They are actually both asleep with their heads in my lap as I type this. Thanks for the game downloads, I know they will appreciate them. And from now on, come what may, right? My new family is totes messed up, but has it all over my old one. If the opportunity ever arises, tell my dad I said so. AND shit in a pair of his boots for me, okay?

Good luck, Tyrion.


	831. Fireballs by Bran-doll

To: Tyrion  
From: Bran

SHIT! You should have seen it! Hell, maybe you DID! I am pretty sure fuckers in DORNE could see it.

In some kind of creepy alliance that I do not EVEN want to know about, your dad and Stannis cooked up some CRAZY shit. Our convoy had just split into two groups with us goin South and your friend Roosey-Goosey heading back your way when all of a sudden, Winterfell went up in the biggest fucking ball of fire you have EVER seen! I am talking MICHAEL BAY-LEVEL PYRO-TECH-NICS! 

Sansa is kinda upset about all her shoes and lingerie, but Stannis is promising to buy her anything she wants to make up for it. It's kinda funny watching someone that wound-up get wrapped around our Luthien's kinky little finger. 

I don't know if the Night's King and the Zombies could survive that fireball, but keep your eyes open just in case. 

OK, book reading on the horizon. Can do! (Fuck me, but I owe you.)

We are just stopping at the first convenience store for bandages, Doritos, and a pregnancy test. Sansa's in the shitter now, but I'm sure it will be good news. Stannis is nearly cross eyed with stress. 

Bloodraven has authorized me to tell you that if the Boltons are OK with it and your other duties permit, the Children are interested in offering you membership. And dude, we have an appointment for some hard core gaming. You are the best 'Toss I know, but the Zergs will win in the end. No quarter. I know you saved my life, but this is StarCraft.

While I was out cadging smokes just now, there was a creepy guy giving me "the look". And for a minute I swear I saw Jon in the back of his van. But the head popped down again before I could get a better look. Maybe I'm startin to come down and seeing things. I am gonna try and bogart at least some weed from someone before I actually attain full consciousness for the first time in years.

Hope I can get a new supplier wherever we end up, because this has been the BEST trip. 

Later my man, Aslan --

Brandalf


	832. To Jon by WolfGirl

this will be my last time talking to you. i don't really remember you anymore but i do know that i did once. so i want you to know i am happy. r and his master are doing okay. they fight a lot and then r cries a lot but then they are cuddling and it is good. my master likes my new face, he likes me being good and it is safe to be on the ground, it is allowed for me to hide and now i only cry if master makes me. we have a friend, a babysitter, a jester. he makes us laugh and lets us snuggle with him if we are tired or hurt or sad. he even lets us play computer games with him. masters allow it. we are always good so we can go anywhere we want in the big house if a door is open we are allowed to go inside. we NEVER try to go through a closed door. that is bad that is hurt that is losing crawling without a leash. but if we are good we can spend our time the way we want while masters are busy. i like to find hiding spots and listen to things or visit with tyrion. sometimes r will find me and we will wrestle or just wind together and listen to the heartbeats. it is calming it is safe it is pack. i don't remember you and i don't want to anymore, it doesn't feel safe. you are not pack, you are not a master, you are not the scary man or tyrion. so you are not safe for me to know. master knows what is best for me and he doesn't want me talking to people i do not know.    


	833. NOT Good-bye by RooseTheMoose

Dearest Sansa,

I will always be here for you, a loyal friend. Of course we shall see each other again. I am just so relieved that you are safe now. That this whole nonsense can be behind you. I want to offer my tentative congratulations to you and Stannis. I just know you will make a wonderful strong family. As always, I am at your service and if you ever decide to have a visit, it would be most welcome. I do wish to speak to you of many things but I am not a public man. I would speak of them face to face only. 

With loyalty and devotion,

Roose


	834. For my sister wolf by Jon

 

Pleas keep writing to me, arya. i am so sory for everything that has happned to you. I know i shouldnt write to you, after al Ive gotten you into. I donnt want to cause you trouble, but I need to know tat you are wel. I cant stand thinking of what has been done to you,, so I must find a faint comfort in the fact that you sem to be safe, when he iss in a good mood. Is rickon stil there? and Tyrion? Is tyrion watching over you? Please write me back, i need to keep hhearing from you.

 

Jon


	835. RE For my sister wolf by WolfGirl

jon

i am not that name anymore. i told master i talked to you, i wanted to be good and tell the truth. i thought he would be mad and i would be crying but he was not mad. he said i can speak to you so i will. but only if you do not call me that name. my name is nothing. it came with my new face. i am pretty i am crawling i am quiet i am a good pet a good girl with a pretty face and a safe name. rickon is here but his name is r now. he has the same face but he is a good pet too and i do not know if he remembers you. tyrion is here, he makes us laugh, he is funny and dresses like a jester with bells on his hat and curved silk slippers. he is protected by the masters and so he lives here with us. he stays safe and keeps everyone happy. he is not a pet so he keeps his face and his mind. he is short but walks on two legs like a real person does and can tell r and i what to do. but everyone tells us what to do. he is very nice and i love him so much. so does r. i have to go jon because i hear tyrion's girls coming out of his room. that means i have to tell rickon we can go visit with tyrion now.


	836. To R. and Wolfgirl by DamonDanceForMe

I have spoken with Ramsay about your request and we find it reasonable.

We have someone on it and the boots should be here soon. I am sure that Tyrion will love the boots, though I don't understand why you wanted Tywin's favorite pair.

However, you have both been very good and this is the first time you have both made a request. I am sure you both can understand that you will each have to thank your masters in the very best of ways tonight.

Damon


	837. For Jaime Lannister by Jon snow

for jaime,

I now my sister and brother are trapped at the sam place as your brother, Tyrion. What ar yur plans of rescuing him? my siblings are hurt and ineed tem to get home, be safe. i know we have never been on good terms but you ae my last hope of ssaving them. wil you pleas help me?

Jon snow


	838. NOT A CHAPTER  by TeamLemonCake

Hey Everyone who has been patient enough to indulge us by reading!

As you can probably tell, Team Lemon Cake has reached a sort of natural stopping point. Oh, they will no doubt go on to have many filthy ( in Sansa's case ) and drug-filled ( in Bran's case ) adventures, but we will likely leave that to everyone's imagination.

Team Lemon Cake made a solemn vow to deliver Sansa, Bran, Tyrion, and Stannis to a safe place and ( hopefully ) leave them in one piece. We've done that and it has been SO much fun! We want to thank not only our readers, but all the other writers who threw us such amazing things to work with.

That said....there is still potential for PLENTY of life in this story if anyone wants to pick up the torch and keep going. Our arc alone left TONS of loose ends, such as the ultimate fate of the Night's King and his new Zombie Army populated by some of your fave faces.........and Cersei's no doubt vow of revenge against the Bolton's for killing Joffrey AND making Tyrion happy. 

In closing, we would like to say that no people or zombies or actual things were harmed in the writing of the Lemon Cake story line -- we would LIKE to say that, but we know it wouldn't be true. We have harmed a good many things, like baby diapers, Doritos, EOS lip balm balls, Etsy, Sean Bean movies, and your mother's pearl necklace. Likely if we thought long enough about it, there are probably other things we have ruined for you as well. 

We close now with Lemon Cake's own personal credo that guides her as she lives her life: If it feels good, DO it! ( often)


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